


Risk It All

by lialovely



Category: Boondock Saints (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Past Abuse, Pregnancy, eventual vigilantism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:22:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 131,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lialovely/pseuds/lialovely
Summary: Nolee moved to South Boston with a hope to escape her past and make a better life for herself. What she didn't plan on was the peculiar Murphy MacManus coming into picture and breaking down everything she thought she’d knew. As they attempt to bond, can she overcome her tainted old life and let down her walls? Especially with one extra problem: she’s already pregnant.





	1. You

__

The sound of glass shattering against the wall echoed in Nolee's ears. Her heart raced in panic as she knew this night would be bad like the previous ones. They were always bad when he spent the day out and a deal had gone bad. She remained still in the corner of the kitchen but her hands trembled, she was doing her best to stay out of his way. Maybe, just maybe if she remained still he would leave her alone tonight.

__

'Please God let him leave me alone.' Nolee begged as the secret she kept deep inside was at the forefront of her mind. The hope she felt was quickly killed as he angrily shouted her name. Unsure of what she did wrong to make him mad again, but did the reason matter anymore when the littlest of things had upset him lately. Nolee struggled to deal with the new life that had taken her prisoner. The new life that sent all her dreams crashing down. Her eyes fixed on Tristan and her hands trembled even further. The man in front of her was not the man she met five years ago. His once caring brown eyes had dulled into a dark brooding storm. The tenderness in hands that once held her so sweetly was now the cause of her pain. His mind was warping into a monster all because of this life he choose, inevitably dragging her down with him.

__

"You stupid bitch! You can never do anything right!" he shouted before Nolee felt the stinging sensation of the back of his hand colliding against her cheek. She gasped as tears filled her eyes and her hand immediately cradled the assaulted area. The slaps had become routine to her, but the physical aspect didn't get easier. Nolee didn't know any better, she never knew life shouldn't be this way. Tristan snarled and gripped both of her arms harshly.

__

"Why do you love to purposely piss me off Nolee? Why do you make me do this?"

__

"Tristan please stop, you're hurting me." she pleaded attempting to break free from his grasp, knowing it was futile.

__

"I wouldn't have to hurt you if you just fucking listened!" he retorted and shoved her to the ground. Nolee whimpered as she fell on her side. The cold feel of the hard-wood floor and the pain in her side sent a moment of realization to her mind as she looked up into his cold eyes.

__

This was it, this couldn't continue.

__

"When will you fucking learn?" was all he said to her before he lifted his leg to her stomach while she screamed...

__

__

Nolee gasped as she sat upright drenched in sweat. Her heart pounded and her hand tightly clenched the knife in her hand prepared to attack. Her eyes scanned around the room and it took her a moment to realize it was a dream. The same dream that haunted her every night, a reminder of what she had left behind. Nolee sighed deeply to calm her racing heart before slowly tucking the knife back under her pillow. The sunlight seeped heavily into her window and she sighed again, staring at the clock at her nightstand. She had woken up only ten minutes before the alarm would go off.

 

"It was just a dream, you're okay." Nolee whispered to herself as she ran a hand through her hair. She swiftly pulled the cover to side of the bed and hoisted herself down to get ready for the day. She walked over to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water onto her flushed face. It had become her new routine it seemed. She rolled her eyes as she washed her face before brushing her hair. She studied her reflection in the mirror and inhaled a deep breath. She didn't recognize the girl staring back at her. Her hair was shorter and she was noticeably skinnier than she used to be. Her charming brown eyes had dimmed. A girl that was once outspoken and bold had retreated inside herself. She stared down at her stomach and lightly ran a hand down the tiny bump. Buried deep down there was still a girl who wanted to live, the tiny bump was proof of that.

 

She sighed once more before walking over to her dresser and sliding on her undergarments followed by black leggings and her favorite long black tunic.

 

'At least I don't have to dress up too much.' Nolee thought to herself at the easy dress code of her job. Sure the job wasn't the greatest, but at least she could dress how she wanted. She reached for the long silver necklace that rested on the nightstand, feeling her stomach knot slightly at the heart shaped locket each time she put it on. She swiftly secured it around her neck and grabbed her purse and coat off the chair. Hurriedly locking her front door to the apartment she walked down the long very old and rundown hallway. Immediately she was greeted by the sound of sirens and people yelling. South Boston was a far cry from warm Arizona that's for sure. The loud city had been hard to navigate for Nolee the first couple months but she was starting to get it down. She sighed as she began her journey to work, her eyes wandering around the many buildings and people passing by. It strangely fascinated her the many different lives people led.

 

"Hey man fuck you! Leave me alone alright!" a man shouted although there was no one by him. Nolee frowned at the obvious bad mental state of the rugged man definitely caused by drugs. Her next encounter was a man pleading to who appeared to be his girlfriend as she cursed at him and threw his belongings out the window. It was nothing out of the ordinary from South Boston, the least attractive part of town but unfortunately the cheapest. The dirty appearance of the town and people was off putting and often scared away the upper class, but Nolee had learned to deal with it. After all it wasn't if she was in a position to be picky. Her apartment was shabby and small, but it was enough.

 

The only perk she had was the coffee shop was not that far from the apartment. Finding a job had been difficult in itself especially with no vehicle, the subway would eventually become a close friend to Nolee. But just as all hope seemed lost, she came across a little place called Cosmo's. Indeed a small shop, but well known it's for vintage collections and relatively aesthetically pleasing. The customers may have been shitheads sometimes, but Nolee had to admit it did have some charm.

 

The smell of espresso filled the air and normally the smell was pleasant to her, it was now starting to make her nauseous. Having your senses messed with constantly was a bitch truly.

 

"Good morning sunshine!" an overly perky Kira greeted her as Nolee cringed once more inside. Kira was naturally a happy upbeat person by nature, and in a way Nolee was envious. Seeing as she was becoming Oscar the grouch more and more these days.

 

"Morning." Nolee replied tiredly as she set her stuff down underneath the counter.

 

"I must say Nolee you definitely have that pregnancy glow, I mean you're practically a glow stick." Kira retorted sarcastically as Nolee's eyes widened as she looked around the cafe in a panic.

 

"Would you shut up please? What if Cosmo hears you!"

 

"Relax Pregasaurus, Cosmo isn't here yet." Kira reassured as Nolee sighed in relief.

 

"Thank God."

 

"Do you really think he'll get upset over you being pregnant? I mean, it is going to be obvious soon enough ya know." Kira responded, her slight Boston accent peeking through.

 

"I know and I'll deal with that later, but right now I don't want to risk losing my job. I think you know more than anyone how much of a pain in the ass it is to find a job in Boston right now."

 

"That I do honey, that I do. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Kira replied crossing her middle finger over her index.

 

"Thank you." Nolee responded gratefully.

 

"Anywho, are you hungry?" Kira asked changing the subject as Nolee shrugged.

 

"Not really."

 

"Well too bad, you need to feed that little parasite inside of you. Besides, how can you say no to these?" Kira inquired as she held up a tray of banana nut muffins. Nolee drooled at the sight of the small steam still rising from them, her appetite suddenly coming alive.

 

"Is there chocolate chips in them?" Nolee answered childishly.

 

"You betcha." Kira nodded in satisfaction as a smile spread across Nolee's face. She happily took a muffin and began picking at it, moaning at the soft and sweet taste.

 

"I know, I'm amazing." Kira sighed dramatically flipping her long black hair over shoulder.

"Thank you." Nolee smiled appreciatively. Boston had not been the most welcoming, but Kira had been a safe haven. She took Nolee under her wing almost immediately when she began working at Cosmo's. Despite being polar opposites, she and Kira had seemed to mesh together. Kira was a free spirit. An attractive girl no doubt with her tall model-esque tanned physique and appearance, she radiated confidence. She was annoying sometimes, but Nolee was willing to tolerate it. She was also the first and only person to know about her pregnancy. However she didn't know everything about Nolee's past, it was easier that way.

 

"So I met this hot guy at Roxy last night." Kira smiled as Nolee rolled her eyes.

 

"Of course you did."

 

"I took him back to my place and we did it four times."

 

"Lovely."

 

"Then this morning he had the nerve to ask me out to breakfast!"

 

"And that's a bad thing why?"

 

"That's too much honey. I don't do the small talk after sex thing, I hit it and quit it."

 

"Way to sound like a man Kira." Nolee teased as she set up the machines. Kira was also a party girl who knew all about Boston's exclusive events and important people. She was not the committed relationship type of person either, she firmly believed in one night stands. Nolee lost count of the many guys Kira went on about, but Nolee didn't condemn her for it. She was young and hot, why shouldn't be allowed to live how she wants. As long as she was being safe about it, Nolee could care less.

 

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm so good they can't get enough." Kira replied with a wink as Nolee scoffed.

 

"You know, maybe you need to get laid too. I know a couple guys who dig pregnant chicks."

 

"That's disgusting Kira."

 

"What? It's not like you're diseased, you're just currently an incubator. Pregnant women deserve sex too."

 

"Please stop talking."

 

"Who's pregnant?" a voice interrupted and both girls froze in their tracks as Cosmo appeared in their line of vision. Cosmo was a tan overweight man with balding salt and pepper hair. He dressed as if he was still living out his glory days of the 70's complete with a giant gold chain he always wore around his neck. A big fan of all things vintage he dreamed of owning a coffee shop since he was a teen. He was pretty knowledgeable about coffee and often spent his time experimenting with new blends. Some of them weren't always the greatest and being an employee Nolee was deemed the guinea pig. At least she threw up only once during a taste test.

 

"Umm, Sophia Lang from The Old and the Beautiful. Can you believe it? Don't even know who the father is, such a floozy." Kira rolled her eyes in reference to her favorite soap opera. Cosmo only stared back at Kira in confusion.

 

"That's fascinating Kira, but if you girls would be so kind to get your asses in gear and start serving customers I'd appreciate it."

 

"Yes sir." both girls mumbled in unison. Cosmo nodded his head appreciatively before heading to the back.

 

"Whew, that was close wasn't it?" Kira giggled and sighed while wiping her forehead as Nolee only narrowed her eyes at Kira and inhaled very deeply.

_____

 

"Oh god." Nolee groaned as the nausea was in full swing by the afternoon. The muffin she had earlier was threatening to come back up. She leaned against the counter and inhaled deep breaths, Kira was handling the front while she tried to compose herself, each day was getting harder and harder. Nolee was afraid of how the next few months were going to go, how would she feel then?

 

"Are you okay?" Kira whispered as she popped her head over.

 

"I really don't understand how people consider this the most magical time of a woman's life, it's hell." Nolee groaned.

 

"Whatever you do just don't vomit on the scones yeah?"

 

"I'll definitely try not to Kira."

 

"Thanks doll. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it's my lunch time and I need a cig pronto." Kira pointed at the clock nervously. Nolee sighed as she lifted herself up and nodded.

 

"Okay go, I'll go to the front."

 

"Are you sure you'll be okay."

 

"I'll be fine, worst comes to worst I puke on a customer."

 

"Ooh don't do that until I come back!" Kira whined as Nolee rolled her eyes.

 

"Go to lunch Kira."

 

"Okay bye." Kira waved as she took off to back as Nolee shook her head.

 

'That girl is nuts.' she thought to herself as she walked to the front and began cleaning. Her mind began to wander as she watched the many people rush to their destinations. The hustle and bustle of Boston was so contrast to Sedona. It was times like these her heart began to feel heavy at the thought of her hometown. She missed the heat and the sunshine, she missed her desert skies. Tears began to form in her eyes as she knew she could never go back, Boston was her home now and that's just the way it was. 

"Nolee. Nolee? Hello, anyone upstairs?" Cosmo's voice snapped her back into reality as she jumped back slightly to face her annoyed boss. 

"Well welcome back," he added sarcastically as she blushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry Cosmo."

"Not sure if you're aware that there's been a customer waiting for the past five minutes while you were in La La Land." he replied pointing over to the register as she frowned. 

"You know this wandering off thing is starting to become a bad habit Nolee,"

"You're absolutely right Cosmo, I am sorry. I promise I won't do it anymore. By the way, that tangerine jumpsuit looks fabulous on you, are you working out?" Nolee inquired with fake enthusiasm as Cosmo began to blush and shrug modestly.

"Well I have been switching to diet coke lately, hey wait a second-"

"Got customers!" Nolee shouted behind her as she quickly scampered to the register before Cosmo could continue his scolding. 

'Get it together Nolee before he fires you.' 

"Sorry for the wait, what can I get you today?" she asked absentmindedly not really caring for the customer currently in front of her.

"Uhh I don't know actually...w'at do ye recommend?" the man replied in a thick Irish accent as Nolee lifted her head up in curiosity. Her eyes scanned the tall man before her and her eyebrow slightly raised. Despite not working here long, she definitely didn't recall such a guy coming into the shop before. There was something peculiar about him, but she couldn't figure out what it was. He was slightly disheveled looking with messy brown hair. He donned a long black pea coat with what appeared to be a rosary around his neck. His dark blue eyes stared up at the menu in confusion as if he never heard of coffee before.

"Umm well the chocolate banana espresso is currently a customer favorite. But if you're feeling a little daring this afternoon, there's spicy taco." Nolee informed him of Cosmo's latest creation with a slight sardonic smile. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and disgust, a reaction she secretly enjoyed seeing from customers. 

"Aye, sounds appetizing. But I'm afraid I'm not very daring today, I'll stick w'it a regular black coffee. Large please." the Irish man responded coolly and Nolee nodded as she punched in the order. 

"That'll be 1.50." she informed him as he reached into his pocket of his blue jeans and pulled out two dollar bills. 

"So do ye always have such disgustin' flavors of coffee?" Murphy inquired sarcastically as Nolee took the bills and narrowed her eyes at him.

"How dare you, Cosmo Miller is a coffee extraordinaire." she retorted in equal sarcasm making Murphy smirk.

"I didn't mean ta' offend lass." he replied coolly once more smirk still in place while Nolee continued to study him.

"I'll also have you know spicy taco is quite popular. Only three people vomited so far, and only one of those three required hospitalization." she smirked back as she handed him his change.

"W'at a shame. Why exactly is t'at popular in ta' first place?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"People love to torture themselves?" she shrugged simply as she began to pour his coffee.

"Aye, it appears so. Just when I t'ot there was some hope for humanity." Murphy sighed as Nolee only watched him carefully. She put a sleeve protector around the cup and gently slid it across the counter. 

"Here's your coffee."

"T'anks lass. Hope ye held ta' vomit."

"No promises." 

"I'll send ya my hospital bill." Murphy only winked at her before grabbing his coffee and swiftly exiting the shop, Nolee noticing the tattoo on his neck as he turned. Her eyebrows remained furrowed in indifference. 

'What a strange man.'

"Who was that?" Kira's voice suddenly chimed in interrupting Nolee's trance.

"I don't know, new customer I think." she replied with a shrug. 

"He's kind of cute."

"He's weird." 

"You think every guy is weird." Kira retorted rolling her eyes. 

'Because they cannot be trusted.' Nolee only shrugged again in response. Kira tilted her head while her emerald eyes remained fixated on the door. 

"Meh, I'd still bang." 

"Of course you would Kira, of course you would."

___

The rest of the day ended up going by faster than Nolee thought. Despite having one asshole customer complaining about his coffee (which she was used to by now) the day hadn't been so bad she had to admit, plus Cosmo left her alone for the rest of the day. After doing her closing duties and locking up the shop she bid her goodbyes to Kira and made the journey back home. When she reached her apartment she looked behind her shoulder and shivered. The paranoia had also become a close friend to her. She quickly unlocked her apartment door re-locking it behind her and sighed in relief as she kicked off her flats. Her stomach began to rumble as she slipped off her jacket. 

"I guess I'd better feed you." she said to her stomach as she walked to the kitchen and prepared dinner with what limited groceries she had. She'd have to make this month's check stretch a little further than expected. She settled on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before bringing the plate to the couch sighing in exhaustion. She looked around the dingy apartment and the complete silence made her feel uneasy. It was hard to believe that just months ago her life was completely different. 

"It's for the best, it's safer here." Nolee reminded herself. Her hand rested upon her stomach and the inevitable fears she tried hard to keep at bay taunted her. Everything had changed, she wasn't just surviving for herself anymore. No matter what, she had to make it work somehow. 

"I'm going to figure this out, I don't know how but I'm going to. I promise." she whispered to her stomach and rested her head on the cushion. She closed her eyes and freely let her mind drift again, her thoughts involuntarily wandering to the strange Irish man from earlier today. His dark blue eyes and the rosary around his neck made her feel uneasy. Why was she thinking of him? He was just some random person, she might not even see him again. 

She switched to her side and tried to shake the thoughts that stubbornly remained.

Who was he?


	2. Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So are ye always this kind and sweet to ye customers?"

_"I saw you with Tyler at the park."_

 

_"We were just talking. I bumped into him on the way to Sarah's." Nolee explained gently. She couldn't understand why he had become so agitated lately. It seems like it started ever since he began working with Johnny._

_"Don't fucking play stupid with me. I saw the way you touched his arm. It didn't look like talking."_

_"Tristan please, you're overreacting. Tyler is my friend, we were just catching up."_

_"I don't want you talking to him anymore."_

_"What? Tristan, you're being dramatic honestly-" the sentence was stopped by abruptly by a loud smack that reverberated off her cheek. Nolee gasped loudly as she cupped her cheek in stunned silence. Tears leaked out her eyes as she stared at Tristan in complete shock. He had never raised a hand to her until now._

 

_"You don't disrespect me. You listen to what I say." he whispered dangerously. Nolee only trembled as she watched him walk away, still holding her cheek as tears streamed._

_~_

  
Nolee wiped the sweat off her brow and ran a hand through her hair as she sat up. The next couple days had transitioned in the middle of the week fairly quickly. Despite the fact that absolutely nothing interesting happens in her life, Nolee still longed for the weekend. Most days she had only wanted to stay in the apartment. Getting the will power to wake up each morning for work with morning sickness was absolutely not a joke. At least on the weekends she could vomit in peace. Speaking of vomit...  
  
"Kira was right you are a parasite, I have nothing left to give you." she lamented at the burning sensation in her stomach and throat. Everything hadn't been so bad except for the damn morning sickness, which by the way was not just in the morning, so whoever decided to officially call it that was a jackass. After spilling out what little contents were left in her stomach she groaned as she stood up and wiped her lips cringing at the disgusting after taste that remained. She sighed as she turned sideways and observed herself in the mirror. Even being four months along, she had to admit she was pretty lucky to not show much. It was a lot easier to hide from Cosmo especially, she knew it wouldn't last forever but it saved her for the time being. She felt the wave of nervousness of imagining what she'd look like when did eventually start to show. Being short and pregnant would most likely not be fun at all. Nolee only rolled her eyes as she decided to get ready for the day. A sigh escaped her lips each time she put on 'the mask.' A facade of a somewhat normal person who didn't have a thousand issues. Someone who just wanted to get by like everybody else, not someone who was running from their past. Her stomach curled at the thought of him. Boston seemed far enough from Arizona at the time she decided to leave, but in the back of her mind she would always wonder...was it really far enough?  
  
_'He won't find you. He won't find you. He won't find you.'_  
  
The weather of Boston seemed to be unpredictable to Nolee. It may have only been October, but the rain and slightly cold temperatures put her in a bad mood. Yeah Arizona was a different story when it came to monsoon season, but October was still decent. The con of being a west coast brat, anything under 70 degrees was just unacceptable. She groaned as it wouldn't be long until Winter had arrived. Absentmindedly she began to hum along to 'Every Morning' by Sugar Ray as it played on the radio.  
  
' _Mark McGrath is so handsome and he sings so lovely, I bet he'd treat me good.'_ she thought to herself as while placing the fresh blueberry muffins in the small display window. Her eyes involuntarily seemed to look at the door ever so often. Her mind thinking about the strange Irish man she'd seen, he hadn't seem to return since that day. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at why she seemed to care in the first place.  
  
_'I doubt I'll see him again.'_  
  
Bright yellow sunflowers caught her eyes as she watched a young man hand a bouquet of them to an equally young girl. Her mouth opened largely and Nolee assumed she had let out a gasp of some sort as she happily took them. Her big brown eyes innocently full of love and enchantment at the young man before her. On the contrary a knot began to twist inside her stomach.  
  
_"I'm sorry." Tristan exclaimed softly as he handed her a bouquet of vibrant sunflowers. Nolee hesitantly took them from his hands._  
  
_"I lost my temper but I didn't mean it baby. I just get a little crazy at the thought of losing you, I can't stand it. I love you so much, I won't do it again I promise.' he assured her as he lightly stroke the red and purple bruise on her cheek._  
  
"You forgive me don't you babygirl?" he pleaded and for a small second Nolee was able to recognize the familiar sweet sparkle in his eyes like the ones he had when they first met. Foolishly she nodded in response making him smile and kiss her head.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Nolee tore her eyes away from the couple and swallowed the nausea that crept up in the back of her throat. Foolish, so foolish she had been.  
  
"So...do ye always randomly stare off into space lass?" a familiar Irish laced voice interrupted her thoughts and instantly causing Nolee to  
 roll her eyes in irony. She turned her head to see the lanky man staring at her from the other side of the counter with the same smirk he had the previous encounter. His dark blue eyes twinkling in pure amusement.  
  
"Back so soon?" she retorted tilting her head.  
  
"Well I didn't end up in ta hospital luckily, I have ta admit ta coffee wasn't half bad. Nothing compared to coffee straight from Italy, but still good. Better than most places here in Boston."  
  
"Well Cosmo's is thrilled to be your last resort."  
  
"Ye very welcome." Murphy winked as he approached the register.  
  
"I'll take the same order as last time, please."  
  
"Boring basic black coffee coming right up." Nolee replied as she punched in the order.  
  
"$1.50."  
  
"So are ye always this kind and sweet to ye customers?" Murphy asked as he slid the money on the counter. He still donned the black pea coat and rosary around his neck. This time she zeroed on another tattoo. The word 'AEQUITAS' had started from the top of his palm vertically going up his index finger. Not wanting to make an unfair judgment, it was just slightly interesting that someone like him would be religious.  
  
"Just to the ones I like." Nolee faked a sweet smile.  
  
"Well lucky I'm very likeable t'en" Murphy smiled a toothy grin while Nolee sneered inside. What was the deal with this guy, his slightly cockiness was agitating.  
  
"So you claim." Nolee countered as she poured the hot liquid into the large cup.  
  
"Well I am known for being a man of me' word."  
  
"I bet."  
  
"Ye know I can't say I've seen ye around Boston before. Ye just move here or some'tin?" Murphy inquired with curiosity. Nolee instantly felt her guards come up at the question, she hated being asked that question. Because that question eventually lead to more questions, and as one could assume she wasn't pleased to divulge things about herself at this point in time.  
  
"You could say that." she answered briefly.  
  
"Aye, where ye hail from then?"  
  
"No offense, but I'm not the type of person to give up info about myself to strangers." she answered abruptly, feeling the need to shut him down quickly. There was no denying her perception of people had changed drastically, especially when it came to men. Nolee did not feel a need to associate with them in any way. Bitchy it might seem but Nolee didn't care, it was simply instinct at this point. She could see that the slight rejection had confused him and she'd be lying if she said it didn't amuse her. It was obvious to her this type of reaction was not familiar to him.  
  
"Fair enough lass." Murphy calmly replied taking the hint as he took his coffee and simply gave her a nod of thanks for the coffee. Nolee watched him turn his back and head to the door but just as he reached it, he swiftly turned back around. "By ta way, this stranger's name is Murphy." was all he simply said as he walked out, his smirk never faltering.  
  
"Ugh!" Nolee huffed as she continued to stare at the door. Who did he think he is?  
  
"Whoa, who pissed off the Pregasauras now?" Kira asked worriedly coming back from her break but noting Nolee's expression.  
  
"That Irish man came back."  
  
"He did? And I missed him again? Damn it."  
  
"Can't exactly say you're missing anything. He's peculiar." _'And cocky.'_ Nolee thought in annoyance.  
  
  
"I think you're overreacting just a smidge Nolee."  
  
"I don't think I am."  
  
"Whatever...let's move on. You know that guy Brian I met a couple weeks ago? Well he wants to hang out tonight, and he has a really cute friend named Frankie, I thought we could all hang out together?"  
  
"I don't think so." she quickly shot down, just like she did the past ten times Kira asked. "  
  
Why not? It's not like anything has to happen, it's just hanging out. Besides, you really need to socialize more now that you've settled in somewhat."  
  
"I'll have you know I am perfectly okay with watching Judging Amy in my pajamas thank you." Nolee replied confidently.  
  
"Get real Nolee, it's time you get out more. I know you're still getting used to the city and this would be a great opportunity. Besides, we wouldn't even be going to a club just a bar called McGinty's, it's chill there from what I hear."  
  
"A bar? I don't think that's the best place for a pregnant person to be."  
  
"You don't have to drink obviously, just come hang with us please? I promise it'll be fun...please Nolee." Kira begged pouting her pink painted lips as her green eyes fluttered. Nolee scoffed that even pouting like a child Kira still looked gorgeous. Against her better judgment, she threw her hands up and huffed.  
  
"Fine I'll go, just stop pouting."  
  
"Yay! Thank you! Thank you!" Kira beamed as she jumped up and down.  
  
"Yeah whatever."  
  
"But ya know if you decided to get some nookie, I won't object." Kira smirked as she wiggled her eyebrows.  
  
"Now you're really pushing it." Nolee replied walking away.  
  
"Wait I'm just kidding!" Kira called after her. Nolee grunted as she already mentally prepared herself for tomorrow night. It'd be a long time since she had been out on her own, but Kira was partially correct in what she said earlier. Besides, it couldn't be that bad...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if the chapters are short for the time being and a bit slow, it'll pick up in the next few chapters. As always thanks for giving my story a chance :)


	3. Assumptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wow preggers you actually clean up nice, I'm impressed."

Unfortunately the next day came and went faster than Nolee had anticipated. She tried hard to mentally prepare herself for going out. She couldn't recall the last time she had to went to a bar and the idea to back out was on her mind every second, but Kira of course had hounded her all day about it. Before she knew it the time had to come to get ready and she grumbled as she walked to her small closet. Mindlessly sorting through it, she searched for anything that was considered 'going out.' She flicked through various shirts for what seemed like an eternity. It wasn't as if she was able to take every item she owned when she moved to Boston, and it wasn't as if she had the means buy a new wardrobe either.

"This is hopeless, what am I doing?" she sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, clearly this was a mistake. As much as she was ready to call it quits, there was a tiny part of her that wanted to continue. The tiny part of her that begged for some type of normalcy in her mundane life. Feeling defeated, she settled on a black tank top with a criss crossed chest piece. Followed by the "nicest jeans" she owned AKA, the only pair of jeans that weren't ripped or stained to hell.

 

As much as her flats were calling for attention, she begrudgingly reached for the only pair of black ankle boots she had, clearly there was diversity in her fashion choices. She zipped them up before facing the mirror and sighed. At least her hair didn't require much effort as it layed in its usual curly pattern. Feeling as though she needed to put a little more effort into her makeup, she decided on a smoky look that drastically contrasted her usual earthy tones. Instead of nude lipgloss she picked a dark brown lipstick. When she was finished she took a step back and surveyed herself. For not being the type to get dressed up on the regular, she had to admit she didn't look so bad. The slight confidence she suddenly felt was quickly shot down by the underlying anxiety ready to have a go at her.  
  
_'Who are you kidding, you look ridiculous. No one would even want to be friends with you if they knew what really happened to you.'_   the voice her in head mocked as she only hugged herself and shut her eyes in attempt to the block out the voice. But just as she reached for her tank top, a loud knock erupted from her door causing her to jump. She nervously stared at the door for a few moments before the person knocked again. Carefully she walked to the door, her defenses going up as she reached it. She peeked in the peephole and sighed of a breath of relief as Kira stood on the other end.  
  
"I thought I was meeting you at your place?" Nolee greeted as she opened the door. Her eyes widened as she scanned over the tall girl. Kira had donned a black mini skirt and a coral sleeveless top with matching black heels, which of course complimented her long slim legs. Her long hair was curled in soft waves and lastly her makeup was flawless as per usual. Nolee instantly felt like a gremlin compared to the other girl, she completely underdressed in comparison.  
  
"I know, but I figured if I showed up unexpectedly you wouldn't have any chance to back out like I know you want to."  
  
"How incredibly thoughtful of you."  
  
"Thank me later." Kira winked before her green eyes had taken the turn to scan over Nolee's body. Her eyebrows raised in surprise.  
  
"Wow preggers you actually clean up nice, I'm impressed."  
  
"Well thank, I guess."  
  
"I didn't mean in it a bad way honest, I'm just a little surprised you dressed up is all."  
  
  
"Well I almost felt pretty good until you got here, now I actually feel underdressed."  
  
"You're dressed fine, whatever makes you feel comfortable." Kira encouraged with forced enthusiasm, which Nolee could see it was an effort to pacify her to keep her from backing out.  
  
"Okay, well if you say so." Nolee shrugged. "I'm ready anyways."  
  
"Perfect! The bar isn't too far from here so we can just walk?"  
  
"Sounds good, but wouldn't walking hurt your feet?" Nolee asked confused as she pointed to Kira's heels to which Kira looked back at her in sympathy and sighed.  
  
"Oh Nolee-san, you have so much to learn."  
__  
  
"You call five blocks away "not too far?" Nolee complained as they walked in tow to McGinty's.  
  
"You're being dramatic." Kira retorted coolly. Nolee did have to give credit where it was due, Kira walked the sidewalk unbothered and gracefully in her heels. If it had been her to do it instead, she'd be walking like a baby giraffe just born. Great, even Kira made  something as simple as walking look good.  
  
"Besides, I heard fresh air is good for pregnant women."  
  
"You sound like my doctor." Nolee's eyes had rolled this time. A large brown building had came into view with many people standing outside the entrance. The sign of McGinty's was revealed and Nolee inhaled a deep breath of anticipation.  
  
"We're here so quit your bitching." Kira smiled as they both stepped inside the crowded bar, her ears wincing at the sudden change of noise. People were happily chattering amongst themselves and drinking beers. Nolee looked at the many decorations and turned her vision back to Kira.  
  
"Are we at an Irish bar?"  
  
"Yeah why?"  
  
"Won't we be out of place?" Nolee asked confused while Kira laughed uncontrollably.  
  
"You're joking right?"  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"There's no rule that says you have to be Irish silly, many people come here to hang out it's pretty popular. Come on," Kira smiled again pulling Nolee by hand as they walked deeper into the bar. Kira's eyes scanned the room before a man's voice yelled across the bar.  
  
"Kira!" called a tall muscular blonde man. Kira grinned as she looked at Nolee and motioned over to the man.  
  
"There's Brian, let's go." they made their over to him where he opened his arms and greeted Kira with a hug.  
  
"Well hello beautiful." he greeted as he eyed Kira up and down and smirked to himself. He pulled Kira in for a kiss while Nolee awkwardly turned her head away. Kira only giggled in response.  
  
"Don't you look extra handsome tonight, by the way this is my friend Nolee." Kira replied pointing at the shorter girl.  
  
"Ahh yeah? Well nice to meet you Nolee." Brian smiled kindly at her and extended his hand out.  
  
"Nice to meet you too." Nolee replied awkwardly as he shook his hand.  
  
"Nolee moved here from Arizona!"  
  
"Oh...we got a west coaster huh? How ya liking Boston, must be different?"  
  
"It's umm pretty nice, but yeah it's different."  
  
"Where's Frankie?"  
  
"He's somewhere around here don't worry." Brian reassured as Kira beamed brightly. "How 'bout I buy you pretty ladies a drink?"  
  
"Umm you don't have to-"  
  
"Nolee doesn't drink." Kira chimed in as she looked at Nolee and winked. "But you can certainly buy me one."  
_  
  
The bar continued to get louder as the night went on. Nolee was impressed at the diversity of people conversing together as if they'd known each other for years. Brian did his best to make Nolee feel included by making small talk. It didn't help much, but she did appreciate the small effort he was putting out when he wasn't focused on Kira. It was surprising at best to say that a couple questionable guys had tried to approach Nolee in attempt to buy her a drink to which she of course rebuffed. Kira would scoff in disappointment each time it happened, but she let Nolee be. Brian was increasingly suspicious the more Nolee hadn't touched a drink, but Kira would make up an excuse for her to avoid further questioning. After all it was a miracle she was even here in the first place she didn't want to ruin the moment.  
  
But it was obvious it had been quite something to be in a bar completely sober. So this was what Boston night life was like.  
  
Kira and Brian had once again blocked out everyone else besides them, Nolee looked around mindlessly. She stopped once she could feel eyes staring back at her, hesitantly she turned her head to the left and saw him. That familiar smirk watched her carefully as he put his pint of her beer to his lips. Nolee scoffed to herself in irony as she watched him back. He appeared to be with two other men who were loudly joking with the owner of the bar. Their staring contest was abruptly ended when the man beside him with spiky hair grabbed him by the shoulder.  
  
"Murph, are ye listenin?" he shouted. The dark haired man gave her one last look before diverting his attention to the other man. Nolee rubbed her arm awkwardly as she turned away from him, of course he would be here.  
  
"Nolee! This is Frankie." Kira beamed as she pulled a lanky man over. It was obvious the beer was starting to kick in for her. The lanky man awkwardly stared back at Nolee. He wasn't bad looking, he was a lot skinnier in comparison to Brian. He had a youthful face with light eyes and his dark hair was cropped, he wasn't too badly dressed either. But definitely not the type Nolee went for...if she even had a type anymore.  
  
"Uhh...hey." Frankie whispered shyly. His body language was stiff and nervous, he clearly didn't want to be here more than she did.  
  
_Kira, you have got to be kidding me right now._  
  
"Hey." she responded kindly with a small wave.  
  
"Frankie works with Brian at The Plaza. Nolee works with me at the coffee shop, she moved here from Arizona."   
  
"That's...cool."   
  
"Well, how about you two get to know each other better!" Kira grinned as she motioned to the both of them while Nolee stared at her with pleading eyes but Kira was oblivious and took off towards the bar. Frankie put his hands in his pockets and shuffled on both feet.  
  
"So uhh...do you like...cheese?"  
  
_This is a joke, please tell me it's a joke._  
  
"Excuse me, I actually need to umm.. use the bathroom, I'll be right back." she replied quickly standing up and walking away from further embarrassment. Feeling as if she had been patient long enough, she walked past the rowdy patrons to the outside, desperate for fresh air.  
  
"What did you really expect?" she whispered to herself as she sighed. Adjusting to this life was going to take a longer than she expected.  
  
"Aye, if it isn't the coffee girl." a voice interrupted her thoughts as she rolled her eyes and turned her head to face him. He wasn't wearing his usual black pea coat this time just a long sleeved shirt and jeans. His hair was still slightly messy   
  
"My name isn't coffee girl."  
  
"Can I know what is t'en? I mean I know I'm a stranger and all," he teased as he leaned against the wall. Nolee noted the way his dark eyes were glossy, it was obvious he was buzzed at most.  
  
"It's... Nolee..." she hesitantly replied.  
  
"Nolee hmm...?” he replied as he put a hand to his chin in thought.  "Never heard it before, I like it."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Ye welcome. So Nolee...why are ye out here by yourself?"  
  
"I just wanted some air."  
  
"I see." Murphy nodded in response. "Ye having a good time at least?"  
  
"Somewhat." Nolee shrugged.  
  
"T'ats good. Ye know I must say I'm surprised a girl like ye is at a place like t'is." he added as he flicked the lighter in his hand open and lit a cigarette.  
  
"What do you mean a girl like me?" Nolee inquired curiously.  
  
"No offense lass, ye just seem a lil' stuck up is all." Murphy shrugged as he put the cigarette to his mouth and took a drag. Nolee's eyes widened in shock as she stared back at him.  
  
"Excuse me? I'm not stuck up." she declared as she crossed her arms over chest.  
  
"Let me guess t'en," Murphy began to speak first before blowing out a puff of smoke as Nolee stepped further back away from it. "I saw how ye rejected some advances in t'ere. Either ye a lesbian, tho ye don't seem ta type, I'm gonna guess t'at some poor stook broke ye heart and now ye sworn off men. I'm guessing the latter." Murphy teased taking another a drag as the rage quickly bubbled up inside Nolee. He may have been buzzed at the moment, but that didn't justify her taking offense to it. Hitting a sensitive spot, she fought back the tears that began to build in the corner of her eyes.  
  
"How dare you, you know absolutely nothing about me." she answered astounded.  
  
"Care to enlighten me t'en?" Murphy replied raising an eyebrow in curiosity while waving his hand dramatically. Nolee only clenched her fists tightly and glared at him having enough.  
  
"It's none of your goddamn business, now leave me the hell alone." she spat back and stormed off before he could say anything else. She breathed deeply to control the emotions brewing inside, who the fuck did he think he is?! He had no right to say assume shit about her when he didn't even know her!  
  
"There you are! Where did you go?!" Kira appeared in front of her with a worried look on her face.  
  
"I was outside, I just wanted some air."  
  
"Oh okay, I was just worried." Kira replied with relief. "Are you okay?" she inquired noting the expression on Nolee's face.  
  
"I'm fine." Nolee pretended.  
  
"But I think I'm ready to go home now Kira, I'll walk home if you want to stay."  
  
"No, I'll go with you. Just let me say goodbye to Brian." Nolee nodded as Kira took in the direction of where Brian was. Nolee waited for her return and kept her eye on the door hoping she didn't have to see him if he walked back in, she wanted nothing more than to climb in her bed right now. Thankfully he didn't come back by the time Kira had returned.  
  
"Okay let's go." Kira said to her softly. Nolee could tell Kira sensed something had happened but thankfully she didn't ask about it. The pair had made their way back home mostly in silence. Kira had made motions as if she wanted to apologize, but Nolee wasn't going to blame her. She knew Kira had good intentions, but clearly they differed in this department of socialization. Nolee rubbed the top of her tank top awkwardly to distract herself. Her fingers brushed the side of her neck and it was then the panic had fully set in. She gasped as she felt nothing but the skin of her neck.  
  
"Oh no!" she gasped as she looked around on the floor.  
  
"What? What's wrong?" Kira asked worriedly.  
  
"My necklace, it's gone! It fell off." she lamented as she felt tears began to sting her eyes. How could she have been so stupid and not notice?   
  
"It's okay! We'll find it, it's okay. Maybe it fell off at the bar, we'll find it." Kira tried to soothe her but the anxiety had already set in as Nolee sank to the floor. This had been a mistake, this had to have been her punishment.  
  
This could not be happening.  
  
_  
  
The last of the patrons staggered out the bar as it began to close up for the night. Murphy and Connor bid their usual goodbyes to Doc, their buzz having come to and end as they were set out to make their way back home.  
  
"Night boys. Fuck! Ass!" his tourettes flaring as he waved them off and cleaned up the countertop.  
  
"See you assholes tomorrow." Rocco yawned as he also waved his goodbye.  
  
"See ye Roc." Murphy and Connor replied in unison as they put their coats on and walked out after Rocco. Murphy was half listening to the rambling his brother went on about Charles Bronson when he felt his foot step on something solid. He stopped and curiously looked down at the floor, kneeling down to pick up the item. His eyebrow raised as he examined it in his fingers.  
  
"Are ye listening ye cunt? Ye been a scatterbrain all night Christ." Connor huffed in annoyance as he watched his brother kneel down on the floor.  
  
"Whatcha got t'ere?" he asked curiously. Murphy examined the item a bit further before looking up at his brother.  
  
"It's uhh nothin.' Murphy replied shaking his head as he stood up to face Connor and both of them started again on their way home, carefully he slid the necklace into his pocket.


	4. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You really don't know when to give up do you?"

The remainder of the night was spent searching for her necklace but to no avail. Nolee felt defeated and hopeless as she retraced her steps back to McGinty's. Kira had tried her best to keep calm for the both of them realizing how serious the situation had been given Nolee's desperation, but didn't fully understand why the necklace was so important, Nolee was in no mood to explain.

 

Finally giving up her search she called it quits and Kira had once again walked Nolee back to her apartment before they parted ways. Kira was unsure if she should leave her alone, but figured it was best to give her space, after all she had been the one to drag her out in the first place. Nolee slammed her door shut in frustration and slowly slid down the door until she landed on her bottom.

 

Why did this have to happen to her now? All she tried to do was be normal for once, but it felt like a slap in the face instead. Her fingers caressed the bare skin of neck with one last shred of hope it'd magically appear on her neck again. This time the tears had spilled freely as a mix of guilt and anger flooded her heart and mind. Every few last memories she only had left to cherish, gone just like that. The small quiet apartment had now echoed with sobs, exhausted she buried her head in her hands.

 

"I'm sorry mom..."

__

 

It was blatantly obvious the next morning little had changed with her mood. Nolee had forgotten at which in the point she managed to cry herself to sleep. Her alarm having been a cruel reminder that even if it was a new day, it still sucked.

 

The walk to work had been boring as ever as she freely wallowed in her misery still upset at herself ignoring the rest of the world around her. She managed to tone it down as she walked into Cosmo's, Kira stood behind the counter with guilty eyes waiting to bestow a million apologies. It helped very little but Nolee knew deep down she couldn't blame Kira for what happened.

 

"It's okay Kira." she'd say after each apology.

 

"But I still feel really bad, please don't hate me," Kira pleaded.

 

"I don't hate you,"

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"I'm sure."

 

"Like sure-sure?"

 

"Yes, but if you don't stop bugging me now I will start to."

 

"Okay..."

 

She did her best to distract herself with the duties Cosmo had given her for the day including creating new product posters for the store. The feel and colorful streak of calligraphy pens had been the only thing to cheer her up. The swirl and sleekness it created as it stained the paper was somehow therapeutic to her. Kira had been busy with the food preparations which was her regular duty. Cosmo hadn't really bugged the two of them either except for his 'smile more' speech he repeated every day, but the girls ignored it like usual. Time had passed reasonably at least, the few customers that were in the store had sat in the corner talking amongst themselves. Just as she hung the last poster on the wall, the little alarm sounded off indicating someone had entered the store. Nolee sighed to herself.

 

Please don't be an asshole customer, please don't be an asshole customer. I just might actually vomit on them this time.

 

"Hello, welcome to Cosmo's. We encourage you to try our new Cinnamon Dolce Surprise today."

 

"Aye, did Spicy Taco finally run its course?" a voice questioned casually. Nolee turned her head towards the voice and shook her head. 

 

"You really don't know when to give up do you?" Nolee replied in amazement. Murphy only shrugged in response and Nolee thought she almost saw him blush. The usual smirk he carried was nowhere to be found.

 

"I just wanted ta' umm...apologize about last night. I didn't mean ta act like an asshole." he explained slightly embarrassed while rubbing the back of his head.

 

"You didn't mean ta make inappropriate assumptions about someone you don't know?"

 

"I was already a bit drunk ta' be honest. I know it's no excuse, but I'm sorry. I don't know why I said t'at."

 

"They say you're the most honest when you're drunk, so surely you must think that somewhat?" Nolee challenged taking the piss out of him.

 

"I assure ye I don't lass." Murphy answered in a serious tone.

 

"Well, apology accepted. Is that all?"

 

"I also came to bring ye back t'is." Murphy explained as he reached into his pocket and held up Nolee's necklace. Her eyes widen as she gasped loudly.

 

"My necklace," she whispered in shock.

 

"I found it when I left ta bar on the floor. T'ot it looked familiar." Murphy added as he walked closer to where she stood and gently placed it in her hand. Nolee stared at it as relief washed over her. She also noticed that the chain had been fixed, and it was almost like it had never broke at all. The animosity she felt towards him moments ago had temporarily faded.

 

"I...thank you." she whispered sincerely. "I really appreciate it."

 

"It's no problem honest."

 

"I thought it'd be lost forever." she sighed to herself as she clasped it around her neck.

 

"I figured it obviously means a lot to ye?" Murphy inquired softly as she nodded.

 

"It umm...it belonged to my mother." Nolee explained opting to give the short version, but she was still surprised she told him that. She could instantly feel herself start to retreat.

 

"I see." Murphy nodded in response but left it alone noting her expression. "I uhh...t'ot it would be best if we maybe start over. My name is Murphy." he introduced himself and extended a hand. Nolee stared at it for a brief second in hesitation but ultimately accepted the handshake.

 

"I'm Nolee." she replied kindly deciding to be nice somewhat since he did after all save her some heartache.

 

"Nice to meet you Nolee." Murphy grinned in return.

 

"Nice to meet you Murphy." she echoed staring right into his blue eyes. He awkwardly shuffled on his feet before sliding his hands in coat pockets.

 

"I've got ta get meet me brudder now, but I don't know, maybe we could...hang out sometime?" he asked in a hopeful tone.

 

"Maybe." was all Nolee could get herself to say giving a nod.

 

"Cool...I'll umm see ye around t'en." Murphy smiled one more time and gave a wave of goodbye before turning on his heels and leaving. Nolee exhaled a deep breath as she tried to comprehend what just happened and the unexplained feeling she suddenly felt. 

 

"Okay...that was ridiculously sweet." Kira popped her head over the counter as Nolee rolled her eyes as she looked behind her shoulder. Of course she had been standing there watching like a creep.

 

"I thought you were changing out the bagels?"

 

"I did." Kira shrugged innocently. "So are you gonna tell me what that was all about?"

 

"What is there to know?" Nolee replied confused.

 

"Umm hello, clearly that guy is interested in you." Kira exclaimed as she dramatically waved her hands.

 

"I highly doubt it, he just returned my necklace."

 

"Okay, so if that's the case then what did he mean by he's 'sorry about last night?' Kira demanded using bunny quotes. "When did you see him at the bar?"

 

"It was when I had stepped outside to get some air, he happened to come out and smoke a cigarette."

 

"Hmm...how convenient."

 

"You're reading too much ino this already, besides the moment was ruined when he said stuff that was inappropriate while buzzed."

 

"Like how inappropriate?"

 

"Just assumptions about my life pretty much."

 

"Okay...well...at least he came and apologized? I mean that has to count for something?"

 

"So? I still don't know anything about him Kira."

 

"Then get to know him, he obviously wants to get to know you."

 

"What if he is secretly some sick murderer, you ever think of that?"

 

"You're seriously a drama queen Nolee."

 

"Not every guy you come across is a nice guy Kira." Nolee lamented as she turned on her feet and walked behind the counter and looked down.

 

"That may be true, but that doesn't mean you have to be negative all the time when it comes to relationships."

 

"I have my reasons okay?" Nolee retorted in defense but immediately composed herself. "I just... speak from experience trust me."

 

"Well...I guess I understand..." Kira shrugged as she eyed the shorter girl suspiciously. There was more than what Nolee was saying, but she'd leave it alone...for now. "I just think maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge. Maybe I'm inclined to give the benefit of the doubt too much, but what it could hurt getting to know him? I don't know he seems...decent." Kira simply explained with another shrug before walking off towards the back leaving Nolee alone in her thoughts.

 

She sighed as she hastily wiped down the front counter, what did Kira know anyways? She'd never be able to put herself in Nolee's shoes if she really knew the truth. Trust...was just another five letter word she had forgotten long ago. Nice or not, there was no room for relationships and that was just the way it was.

 

And Nolee intended to keep it that way.


	5. Impromptu Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What makes you think I want you and I to be friends?"

Before Nolee knew it Friday had rolled around and not only was it finally the weekend, but it was also her doctor's appointment. A mix of relief and nervousness had bubbled inside her, it was nice to leave the shop early but that meant missing a couple of hours on her paycheck. But regardless the day hadn't been so bad so she couldn't complain...too much.  
  
"Thanks for covering for me, I owe you." she said gratefully to Kira as she took off her apron and hung it on its designated spot.  
  
"No problem hun, you have to check up on the parasite." Kira replied with a thumbs up.  
  
"Do you have to keep calling it that?"  
  
"What, that's technically what it is isn't it? Fine, what about...nugget?"  
  
"...that's better I guess." Nolee shrugged with a sigh.  
  
"When do you find out what you're having anyways?" Kira inquired with a little too much enthusiasm.  
  
"Next month I think?"  
  
"Aww bummer. I want to know what the spawn is in your belly already." Kira frowned as she leaned against the counter.  
  
"Well you're gonna have to wait toots." Nolee shrugged once more. "I'll let you know how it goes, see you later." she added slinging her purse on her shoulder before waving.  
  
"Be safe!" Kira called out to her as she almost reached the door.  
  
"I will, bye!" Nolee replied before exiting the shop. She welcomed the warm rays of sunshine that immediately greeted her as she made her way to the subway, today was definitely the better Fall weather of Boston. Only downside was having to travel to the other side of the city just for appointments. Walking down the long steps that led underground to the station, she managed to make it in time before it took off. The various people inside had been too busy with their own lives and problems to notice her existence, to which she was very grateful for. She was able to look out the window in peace without having to feel obligated in conversing with strangers.  
  
With several stops the subway had made along the way the ride took 20 minutes total before she reached her stop. Nolee quickly made her way off before the crowd of people rushed behind her. Making her way back up to the city area, the culture difference was almost immediate. Men and women of all types had dressed and talked nicer. She felt out of place as she walked the rest of her way to the doctors, but she had to admit the skyline was breathtaking.  
  
Nolee walked inside the large gray building and checked herself in. She sighed as she sat down in an uncomfortable chair and waited to be seen. Her eyes wandered the around the pastel decorated office and took in the other women sitting beside her, far more ahead in their pregnancies than she was. Nolee shifted awkwardly in her seat as she imagined how she'd look at that stage knowing it was coming faster than she anticipated. After what seemed an eternity and mindlessly watching infomercials on the television, a nurse opened the door.  
  
"Nolee Wade?" the older blonde woman called out as she stood up.  
  
"That's me." Nolee answered as she made her way to the woman.  
  
"Good afternoon Miss Wade my name is Cindy, come this way please." the woman responded kindly and led her inside the hallway. Cindy had taken her height, weight, and blood pressure before leading her to a room. Nolee twiddled her thumbs as she looked around the room and waited.  
  
"Hello Miss Wade." Dr. Garcia greeted as she walked in the room. A tall woman with radiant brown skin, hair, and eyes; she intrigued Nolee. "How are you feeling today?"  
  
"I'm feeling okay." Nolee replied softly as Dr. Garcia nodded.  
  
"Good to hear, how have you been feeling in general? Any concerns?"  
  
"Just still have a lot of nausea and some pain in my lower abdomen."  
  
"That's to be expected, but hopefully as you get more into your second trimester the sickness will ease up. Let's have a look at you and get you measured. Lie back please." Dr. Garcia requested as Nolee obeyed. Dr. Garcia lifted Nolee's shirt up to her torso and gently touched her abdomen.  
  
"Is it tender here?" she asked touching the spot just above her pelvis as Nolee nodded.  
  
"That's just round ligament pain, the ligaments are stretching to accommodate your pregnancy. They're uncomfortable, but relatively harmless. No spotting or unusual discharge?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Ok good." Dr. Garcia nodded once more as she wrapped the long measuring tape around her stomach. "Seems like you're a lucky one with not showing much yet, but you're measuring on time."  
  
"Now let's check on your baby." Dr. Garcia added as she turned on the ultrasound machine. She grabbed the probe and circled it around Nolee's abdomen. The screen became fuzzy before focusing on the inside of her stomach.  
  
"Hmm...looks like little peanut is hiding." Dr. Garcia whispered as she searched around. Nolee felt a small wave of panic hit as she watched the screen.  
  
"Ahh, there you are baby." Dr. Garcia smiled as she pointed at the small blob on the screen. "Look whose got some feet." she added teasingly. Nolee inhaled a deep breath as she looked at the fetus. It was still hard to believe each time she was here to realize she was indeed staring at her own stomach.  
  
"He or she's quite a wiggler too."  
  
"When will I feel kicks?" Nolee inquired curiously.  
  
"It varies with each woman, you might feel kicks as soon as 16 weeks, some first time moms don't feel anything until 25 weeks."  
  
"The baby's doing okay though?"  
  
"Well, baby is definitely measuring on track. Heartbeat is strong and clearly got movement going on. I'd say baby is healthy yes." Dr. Garcia assured as Nolee nodded.  
  
"Now that you're in your second trimester I'd like you get some more blood tests done, this is the time we check more in depth to see if there's any risks such as down syndrome or spina bifida. We'd also like you to leave a urine sample as per usual. Your next appointment you'll have to do a glucose test, but by then we should be able to tell the gender. That should give you something to look forward to."  
  
"Okay." Nolee smiled and nodded.  
  
"In the meantime make sure you're still taking your prenatals and folic acid. Also try to get some regular exercise in if you can, keep your stress levels low, and no heavy lifting. As always please don't hesitate to call me if you have any other questions or concerns."  
  
"Yes doctor."  
  
"I'll print out some pictures for you to take home. I'll let the nurse know you'll be getting blood tests done, shouldn't take too long. Have a good rest of the day Miss Wade."  
  
"Thank you Dr. Garcia."  
  
"You're welcome, here's your pictures. I'll let you get dressed now, come to the front when you're ready." Nolee nodded and fixed her shirt before sliding her coat and shoes back on. The blood tests were never fun but she sucked it up and it was over before she knew it. She was given a prescription to refill prenatal vitamins before they finally let her go.  
  
"Excuse me, but where's the pharmacy located?" Nolee questioned confused.  
  
"Oh, it's across the way from the meat packing plant. Go down this street and make a left." the receptionist explained before walking off. Nolee sighed as she began her journey to the pharmacy, which quickly spiraled into pure boredom as she had to wait for the damn thing to be filled.Not wanting to sit inside a building more than she had to, Nolee's feet had brought her to the riverfront overlooking Charles River. Her hands slid into her purse where she pulled out the small image. Her stomach twisted as she observed the image. Being a mother was not something Nolee ever fully imagined she'd be. Nolee would be the first to admit her instincts weren't exactly maternal. There was a lot she still hadn't learned about herself and the thought of having to bring in a new life by herself simultaneously was terrifying. She knew in the back of her mind there was options...but she couldn't bring herself to think about them just yet.  
  
Her eyes started to water as memories of that night had came back with a vengeance. Something had spoken to her that night, something had awakened an instinct, an instinct to protect.  
  
_'I made the decision, now I have to live with it. '_  
  
Nolee got lost in her thoughts too much and before she knew it she was late to pick up her prescription. When she finally got everything taken care of, she lazily made her way back to the subway.  
  
"Too much adulting." she grumbled as she passed by the large meat packing plant. Her extra sensitive nostrils flared in disgust at the smell. It took some serious willpower to not vomit all over the sidewalk. When she reached the corner her eyes were drawn to a figure in her peripheral line of vision. She blinked her eyes rapidly to see if what she saw was real. Her mouth was agape at the sight of that familiar neck tattoo.  
  
"Oh for fucks sake." she whispered astounded, this was just getting ridiculous now. She curiously watched Murphy from afar as his back was pressed against the wall with one foot up smoking a cigarette. He wore a long white looking lab coat over his clothes. His eyes glazed over as he appeared to be in a deep thought. She could've easily continued on her way and remained unspotted but something kept her feet glued to the ground. Curiosity getting the best of her, she took a couple steps closer.  
  
"So this is where you work?" Nolee spoke aloud causing Murphy to lift his head quickly at the voice. His eyes had softened when he realized it was her standing there.  
  
"Aye Nolee, what are ye doin' over here lass?" he questioned with equal curiosity.  
  
"Just finished some errands." she replied with a shrug.  
  
"Oh." was all he said.  
  
"So, the meat packing plant huh? Gotta to say I'm a little surprised." Nolee added but not intending to insult him.  
  
"Aye...well it's not ta greatest, but it's honest work." Murphy reasoned making his lips turn up into that smirk of his before he took a puff of his cigarette.  
  
"Fair enough." Nolee casually replied. "I guess I shouldn't keep you then, I would want to get you in trouble."  
  
"Oh on ta contrary lass. I'm just about done for ta day, just waitin' on me brudder." Murphy explained tilting his head in the direction of the building.  
  
"I see."  
  
"Ye heading home?"  
  
"Yes...why?"  
  
"Want ta grab a bite ta eat?" he asked flicking his cigarette to the floor and crushing it with his boot. "I'm quite famished."  
  
"Umm...well...I don't..." Nolee stuttered on her words.  
  
"It's just food lass, I ain't asking on a ye date or nothin.' Murphy teased. "Aren't ye hungry?" he added thoughtfully while Nolee shuffled on her feet. Her body easily betraying her as the mention of food caused her stomach to growl...loudly. Murphy raised his eyebrow in amusement and chuckled.  
  
"I t'ink that answers me question. So...how bout it?"  
  
"Uhh...well I guess." Nolee answered hesitantly. Just then the door burst open.  
  
"Murph! What did I tell ye about leaving rotten meat in me fuckin' locker ye little bastard!" a man shouted as he stomped over to where Murphy was. Nolee noted his spiky hair and recognized him from the bar.  
  
"Moi? I'd never do such a t'ing my dear little brudder." Murphy replied innocently.  
  
"Oh ye fuckin' little shit I'll kick ye' ass, and for the last time I'm older damn it!" the man retorted as they began to banter back and forth, Nolee only watched with furrowed eyebrows and pure confusion. The spiky haired man had sensed they weren't alone and turned his head to stare at Nolee. To which shyly looked away, she wouldn't admit it but he was rather handsome.  
  
"Who's t'at?" he whispered to Murphy who leaned in closer to whisper something back.  
  
"Aye, you must be ta coffee shop lass."  
  
"My name is Nolee." she politely corrected.  
  
"Nolee, t'is be me idiot brudder Connor." Murphy introduced. "Connor, this is Nolee."  
  
"Pleased to meet ya lass." Connor added coolly. His demeanor was more serious than his brother's but his light eyes were kind looking. They were both the same height and relatively built the same way but Nolee couldn't see any resemblances between the two of them, different fathers perhaps. It was also that moment Nolee realized Connor had the same matching tattoo in the exact same spot on his neck Murphy had.  
  
"Likewise." she replied regaining focus.  
  
"No offense lass but what ye doin' talking ta this dipshit?" Connor questioned as Murphy shouted an insult back and another banter broke out, Nolee had a feeling this occurred often. Nolee couldn't help but laugh at Connor.  
  
"Well...I..."  
  
"Don't listen ta him Nolee." Murphy told her as he slid off his lab coat before handing it to his brother. "We're going ta get a bite ta eat, and you are going ta fuck off now." Murphy added as Connor rolled his eyes.  
  
"Christ, fine. I was gonna meet Rocco at ta bar anyways. See ye around Nolee." Connor responded giving her a smile.  
  
"See you Connor." Nolee replied as he walked back inside. Murphy sighed as he took off his coat.  
  
"You and your brother are umm...interesting." Nolee noted as he scoffed.  
  
"Don't mind him, he's just mad I came out first." he shrugged. Nolee stared at him confused until she made the connection.  
  
"Wait...are you both...twins?" she asked shocked.  
  
"My fraternal womb-mate indeed yes."  
  
"But you don't..."  
  
"Look alike? I know, it's a little hard ta believe innit? Especially given how ugly me brudder is." Murphy smirked as he put on his sunglasses from his jean pocket and slid them on.  
  
"Well, shall we?"  
___  
  
  
"You better not try anything." she warned him as they walked alongside each other, keeping her guard up.  
  
"Do I really come across as a creep or somethin' lass?" Murphy inquired curiously.  
  
"I'm just saying." Nolee replied defensively despite knowing full he was taller than her by several inches.  
  
"Don't worry okay? I've never been ta type to harm a woman. I was raised by a full Irish blood mother, do ye know how terrifying t'at is?"  
  
"I can't say i don't."  
  
"Well let me tell ye, it ain't fun. My ma would have me arse if I tried somethin' inappropriate." Murphy sighed as they approached a burger joint a couple blocks away from the meat packing plant and the subway. The elderly waitress greeted Murphy with a big smile, clearly familiar with him.

"Murphy, how ya doing today hun?"

"Can't complain today Alice, what about you?" Murphy responded equally pleased to see her.

"Same shit, different day Murphy. Where's that brother of yours?"

"Had some stuff to tend to, he promised to drop in soon."

"Alright, well he better. Let me sit you guys down." Alice motioned them to follow her until she stopped at a corner booth.

"T'anks Alice." Murphy told her sincerely.

"Anytime hun." Alice winked before smiling at Nolee and walking off. Nolee smiled at the gesture, she seemed like a sweet woman.

"T'ats Alice. She's been waitressing here a long time, very lovely woman." he exclaimed as if he had read her mind.

"She seems like it."

"So...is it okay now to ask where ye moved from? Cause I'm pretty positive by now I've never seen ye around before." Murphy asked as he removed his sunglasses. Nolee awkwardly took off her coat and rested it beside her.  
  
"I moved from Phoenix."

"Ahh...makes sense now."

"What make sense?"

"You don't really look like ta typical east coast gal." Murphy noted as she raised her eyebrow. "And before ye get all mad little one I don't mean t'at in a bad way." he added as he glanced at her before grabbing a menu.

"Well...what about you?" Nolee questioned also grabbing a menu.

"What about me?"

"Are you from Boston originally?"

"No, my brudder and I moved from Ireland several years ago."

"How come...?"

"We wanted to help our Ma out more, money wise. Moving to ta states seemed like a better option at ta time. We try ta send what we can, our Da wasn't around when we were growing up, just her. Somehow we ended up staying."

"Oh..." Nolee replied gently.

"Only t'ing Connor and I could really find was the meat packing plant. It's messy and hot, but at least majority of ta people we work with are good people."

"Well that levels out I suppose, I only have Kira." Nolee replied.  
  
"Kira...she ta tall loud lass at the coffee shop?"

"Yes. Big hair to match her personality."

"Ahh yes, she seems...interestin.'

"She's actually really decent. She's been the only one to really befriend me so far."

"Aye, well t'ats not true."

"What do you mean?"

"Well ye got a friend in front of ye." Murphy smirked.

"What makes you think I want you and I to be friends?" Nolee inquired curiously.

"Believe me lass, it's always a good idea ta have an Irish friend on ye side."  
__

Nolee and Murphy had finally ordered their food, Nolee choose a classic cheeseburger where Murphy wanted a little extra and went with the bacon cheeseburger. They managed to keep up small talk as they ate, Nolee had learned many small facts about the Irish man. He definitely seemed more open about his life, where as she remained reserved. She learned him and Connor were 27, making them just two years older than her. She couldn't help but wonder how it'd feel to talk so freely about herself instead of the former.

 _"_ _I don't know he seems...decent."_ Kira's voice had rang in the back of her mind the whole time.The opinion of him being peculiar hadn't changed. He was certainly unlike anyone she'd ever met before. A part of her badly wanted to inquire about the rosary and tattoos, but maybe that was best for another time. The initial impression of his cockiness had changed somewhat, but naturally she'd remain skeptical.

"Well, why did you move here?" he asked after several moments of silence. The dreadful question inevitably coming up. The slight comfortableness she was temporarily feeling had vanished. She remained quiet in an attempt to scramble an excuse.

"Still too soon ta ask I take it? I apologize." Murphy added taking a sip of his soda.

"It's ok...I just...wanted to start over I guess." she replied simply. Murphy seemed satisfied with the answer.

"I can understand t'at lass. Do ye at least like Boston?"

"For the most part. I haven't really been to a lot of places yet though, I'm still learning my way around. The bar was the only real outing I've had so far."

"Aye, well if ye like I can show ye some cool spots around town."

"Perhaps."

"Just say when."

"Okay." Nolee nodded as they continued to eat their food. She wasn't sure how much time had passed that they sat there but by the time they were both finished, the sun had began to descend. At least the food hadn't been half bad. As the waitress placed the check on the table, Nolee reached into her purse to pay for her half, but Murphy's hand quickly interjected.

"No lass, it's on me."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. T'ink of it as making up for ta other day at ta bar." he reasoned before placing a twenty dollar bill on the table. The both of them got up from the booth where Murphy gave Alice a quick hug before she waved the both of them off. When they walked back outside, the evening breeze had began to pick up and Nolee buttoned up her coat, whereas Murphy remained unbothered of course. He only reached inside his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. Nolee gritted her teeth nervously, she knew it probably wasn't the best idea to be around him when he smokes so often apparently, but part of feared giving herself away accidentally.

"I hope ye don't mind." Murphy asked as he wiggled the single cigarette in his hand.

_'Nah go ahead, I'm only pregnant.'_

"Umm no...I'll just stand back a little I'm kind of sensitive to the smell."

"Oh okay, t'ats fine." Murphy replied not thinking anything else of it, Nolee only looked away in relief.

"Umm Murphy?" she said after a period of silence.

"Yeah?" he answered staring at her as she nervously twitched her fingers.

"How come you decided to come into Cosmo's? I mean I know I haven't been there long, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen you come in before either."

"Well...Connor had gone ta help our friend Rocco with some umm...stuff. I had stayed behind t'at day so I could cover both our shifts and he wouldn't get into trouble. Both of us have had to take extra shifts lately ta be honest. It's been rather tiring, I t'ot coffee would help me stay awake again, I never really drank it until I moved ta Boston." he explained casually. "Why do ye ask lass?"

"Just curious." Nolee answered with a shrug. Murphy took a couple more drags before putting the cigarette out. "I guess you'll be heading home t'en?" he asked as she confirmed with a nod.

"Do ye need me ta walk ya home? It's a bit dark out."

"I'm okay, I still have to take the subway."

"Well that's even more suspect lass."

"I haven't had a problem yet." she replied confidently.

"Key word being yet, ta subway can be dangerous in ta evening." Murphy responded seriously.

"I can handle myself Murphy but thank you. If it makes you feel better, you can walk me to the subway." she offered. Murphy seemed pleased by this and gave her a nod, at least they'd still be in a public place. She wasn't ready to give up where she lived just yet. Murphy kindly walked her down the stairs until she reached the waiting contraption.

"Well thank you for walking me, and for dinner." Nolee told him politely.

"It's not a problem at all. Maybe we can do t'is again sometime?"

"Yeah." Nolee smiled lightly.

"Well goodnight Nolee, be safe gettin' home yeah?"

"I will." she assured him before stepping inside the subway as the doors opened. Murphy gave her a wave before walking off. Nolee sat down in the back of the train and sighed as she went over the events that had happened.

Finally reaching her apartment, she kicked off her shoes and immediately crawled into her bed. The exhaustion suddenly taking over like it did every night. Her mind still puzzled at what had transpired. There was a part of her still surprised she had actually went to dinner with him. Even though it was merely nothing but dinner, it left her perplexed. It's like he kept popping up everywhere suddenly without a reason. Yeah the dinner hadn't been so bad and Murphy had acted fairly decent, but what of it?

Nolee turned on her side and shook the thoughts away. It wasn't worth putting too much thought into it, it's not like anything could happen anyways. She was fine where she stood in her beliefs, and she was pregnant after all. Maybe it was just one of those random coincidences seeing him again, nothing else.

Yeah, that had to be it.


	6. Mysterious Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Honestly after knowing you for a while now, I'm surprised someone like you let this of 'accident' happen."

The sound of machines roaring throughout the building was a very familiar sound to the brothers as they did their everyday duties. The production line of employees and busy hands working feverishly to get their shipments done as fast as they could, several of them cracking jokes to one another in attempt to make the work go by faster. Some sighed in frustration as they wiped the sweat off their foreheads with their forearms from the steam, some sang quietly to themselves. Each employee had their own methods they used to stay busy but most importantly not get overworked. However it was proven to be challenge especially on Mondays, which was shipment day.  
  
Murphy gave a sigh of his own as he stopped momentarily to catch his breath. He looked on the many employees before him get their tasks done, as he often did. Despite Mondays being a pain in the ass more often than not, Murphy looked at them in admiration. The meat packing plant was not for everyone, especially ones who were afraid to get their hands dirty, literally. It was hot, smelly, and many times the MacManus brothers came home smelling like rotten carcasses.  
  
 As long as him and Connor had been there, he'd seen many people come and go. Some too prissy and some unbelievably naive to what a meat packing plan actually is, it was extra entertainment for Murphy truly. But aside from the ones who couldn't hack it, there was still many employees before him that showed up each and everyday and got shit handled. Men and women who were not afraid to get their hands dirty, but most importantly the ones who believed in honest work, even if the job was rough. Because at the end of the day they sacrificed all they had in order to take care of their families.  
  
The values and pride they took reminded him of back home, that was the main reason Murphy and Connor had stayed for as long as they have. As they years went on Murphy had found himself missing Ireland often, and ironically the meat packing plant was the closest thing to it. Seeing as the head boss McGerkin had been Irish himself, the boys felt as it had been the sign they were looking for when they first moved to Boston and needed employment, badly.  
  
Murphy had usually been the one to prep meat for cutting, while Connor did the actual fat trimming from the meat. His attention turned to his twin on cue, who of course had been flirting with their co-workers as per usual. Murphy's mind suddenly shifted from Connor to Nolee and the dinner they had Friday night. Despite it not meaning anything in particular, he couldn't help but note how nice it had been. The small conversation they shared was refreshing compared to the past girls he talked to, who only cared about gossip, pop culture, and all the other irrelevant shit.  
  
He pursed his lips as he skipped to her getting on the subway and how defiant she had been. All he wanted to do was make sure she got home safe and not get caught up with the low life thugs that'd been roaming the streets at night, especially the ones tied in with the mafias. But her guard had been completely up, what was her deal?  He didn't see how such a small girl could be so complicated. There was something about her he couldn't seem to put his finger on.  
  
"Murphy, after t'at last box ye can take ye break." McGerkin called out to him as he turned his attention away from his brother to his boss. Murphy only gave a thumbs up in response and went back to work. When he finished, he wiped his forehead and looked at the work clock which 3:00. Feigning for a smoke, he walked to where Connor had stood.  
  
"Can ye cover me today?"  
  
"What ta fuck for?" Connor responded confused.  
  
"Just cover me yeah? I'm gonna get a coffee."  
  
"Since when did ye start drinking coffee so much? I know we been working overtime a lot, but ye usually don't drink it."  
  
"Well now I do." Murphy replied in a casual manner as his brother looked at him raising one eyebrow.  
  
"Ye been goin' to t'at shop a lot too, w'at gives?"  
  
"What ye mean?" Murphy replied confused.  
  
"T'at girl from Friday, she's ta reason isn't it?"  
  
"What Nolee?"  
  
"No I'm talkin' about Rosengurtle ye fuckin' idiot."  
  
"First off that's disgustin.'  Ta fuck is wrong wit ye, and what about her?" Murphy replied defensively.  
  
"Don't act like a wanker Murph, ye like her don't ye?" Connor accused with a pointed index finger.  
  
"I don't know what ye talkin' about."  
  
"Ye fuckin' right." Connor retorted with narrowed eyes. "I can see it in ye eyes, I know how ye get."  
  
"You've officially gone mad haven't ye? Look, I'll have ye know I happen ta like ta shop, and it just so happens she works there."  
  
"How convenient."  
  
"Whatever okay? I'll admit...she's interesting, but t'eres something about her I can't read. She seems a little...difficult." Murphy noted as his mind thought back to Friday night once more.  
  
"Well maybe t'ats for ta best ye? I reckon ye need ta leave her be." Connor replied shaking his finger at his brother. "Given ye past female choices."  
  
"You're overreacting a bit Con." Murphy retorted rolling his eyes.  
  
"I don't know why...but I just got a strange feeling."  
  
"Because ye gut instinct is always accurate right?" Murphy scoffed. "And let's not talk about female choices brudder." Murphy shot back as the brothers locked eyes and stared one another down for several moments. The both of them still able to speak their own language to each other, the one thing about being a twin Murphy sometimes resented.  
  
"Just be careful alright?" Connor softly sighed finally speaking.  
  
"I always am brudder." Murphy replied with a smirk as he slapped his twin on the shoulder before walking away, Connor only stood there shaking his head in dismay.  
_____  
  
"Aww that is so creepy. But cute." Kira exclaimed as she stared at the sonogram, practically ripping it from Nolee's hands when she finally showed up for her shift. It had been rather hell doing a solo shift without Kira for most of the day, it was Monday after all. She hated when Cosmo decided to split up their shifts. It was in those moments that despite being very annoying, Nolee missed her Kira. At least no customers threw a muffin at her in anger, now that was fun.  
  
"Still looks like an alien." Nolee teased.  
  
"Umm...I don't want to alarm you hun, but that's quite a big head. Are you gonna be able to squeeze that thing out?"  
  
"That's how the head looks at that stage Kira." Nolee explained half rolling her eyes.  
  
"Oh thank goodness. Imagine if stays that way though, your poor vag." Kira replied with wide eyes.  
  
"Wow, that's encouraging thank you." Nolee remarked as she walked towards the sink and threw in the dirty blenders.  
  
"Hey, how did you end up pregnant anyway?" Kira asked curiously.  
  
"How do you think smart one?"  
  
"Well I know _how_ it happens smart ass, but I mean..."  
  
"What?" Nolee inquired at her trailing off.  
  
"Honestly after knowing you for a while now, I'm surprised someone like you let this of 'accident' happen." Kira shrugged softly. Nolee was taken aback at her reply and her mind subconsciously drifted away.  
  
_Nolee stood in the corner of the large mansion as music blared through the various speakers. Many people were laughing amongst themselves and drinking freely. She cringed when she also noticed a group of people sitting on the couch waiting anxiously as Dino cut four thin white lines, a blonde girl eagerly holding up the plastic straw in her hand. Nolee turned her head away in disgust and try to focus on something else but it was difficult. Why had Tristan brought here, she didn't want to be here! Why did he always have to attend these kind of things?_  
  
_She wanted to go home and away from these people, she didn't belong here._  
  
_"Baby, why are you standing all the way over here, come have a drink with us." Tristan appear at her side and held up a red plastic cup to her face and smiling._  
  
_"Umm I don't know-"_  
  
_"Come on baby, just one drink. You're not going to embarrass me tonight are you?" Tristan replied warningly. Nolee shivered at the change in his eyes and shook her head._  
  
_"That's my good girl. Now come on, we're here to celebrate and you look hot tonight." Tristan's smirked as he eyed her body and up down as she blushed._  
  
_"Just_ **one** _drink okay?" Nolee replied nervously._  
  
_"Yeah babe, of course..."_  
  
Her reverie ended as she sighed and looked at her stomach. It definitely hadn't been just one drink.  
  
"Yeah, well life works in mysterious ways." she retorted to the taller girl as she turned her attention back to the sink.  
  
"Well, I mean it's not all bad I guess, it did bring you here after all."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"But, do you think your baby daddy will ever try to contact you? I know you said he made it clear he didn't want to be apart of the baby's life, but what if he changes his mind?" Kira asked innocently. The knots in her stomach had returned as Nolee swallowed the bile that involuntarily tried to come up. 'What if?' it was a thought she didn't like to have often, but did.  
  
"I highly doubt it. But if he ever did...I don't know." Nolee answered honestly.  
  
"Would you let him see the baby?"  
  
"Maybe...I don't know, I haven't figured it out yet." Nolee added awkwardly. "Can we change the subject though, I'd rather not talk about him yet."  
  
"Oh yeah of course, I'm sorry."  
  
"It's fine, umm how was your weekend?" Nolee asked attempting to divert the taller girl's attention, making a full effort to not bring up what took place Friday night.  
  
"It was good. Brian and I had a little nightcap or two after he took me out to dinner." Kira winked.  
  
"You've been spending a lot of time with him you know." Nolee replied raising her eyebrow.  
  
"Oh don't look at me like that, I'm not falling for the guy or anything. Let's just say he's good at what does...and equipped very well."  
  
"Okay that's way too much information."  
  
"Oh, the innocent pregnant girl is suddenly modest, that's hilarious." Kira scoffed as Nolee stuck her tongue out childishly.  
  
"Sorry the rest of us common folk don't have a spectacular sex life like you do." she sighed dramatically. When Kira remained quiet Nolee turned her attention to the taller girl and noticed her worried expression. Nolee instantly felt herself tense up.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Umm...Nolee behind you."  
  



	7. Somewhere Along The Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well what is it about me that makes you want to know me?"

Nolee slowly turned her body around to towards the front counter, her heart beating rapidly as she prepared to face the person standing before her. The anxiety inside her had quickly switched to full on embarrassment as Murphy stood there, with that goddamn smirk. Her anxiety switched back as she realized he had been listening to their conversation!  
  
"Umm...how much of that did you hear?" Nolee questioned fearfully praying he hadn't heard the first part of the conversation. Sensing her embarrassment Murphy couldn't resist giggling, somehow his giggle even sounded Irish.  
  
"Enough ta give ye my deepest condolences." he teased as her cheeks rapidly turned red.  
  
"Can you just pretend you didn't hear that..." she replied timidly but relieved that it didn't seem like he heard everything else.  
  
"I'm just yankin' ye chain lass." Murphy smiled as she continued to blush. The  Law and Order marathon had prevented her from thinking about their dinner Friday night. Although there really wasn't much to think about, it was decent sure, but nothing worth writing home for.  
  
"So the usual I take it?" she asked referring to his choice of drink. Murphy tilted his head towards the menu thoughtfully and stroked the faint facial hair on his chin.  
  
"Ye know I'm feelin' a little risky today."  
  
"Oh yeah?" Nolee questioned raising her eyebrow.  
  
"Mondays are always rough and I'm feelin' a little sluggish. What's ta best pick me up?"  
  
"Oh in case of the Monday blues you need _The Depresso_. Little shots of espresso will perk your sad little heart up." Kira answered with a wink.  
  
"Sounds delightful. I'll take it." Murphy answered intrigued.  
  
"And lucky for you Nolee specializes in espresso, don't you Nolee?" Kira added with a smirk turning her eyes to the shorter girl.Nolee narrowed her eyes in response.  
  
"I do, but I'm not _nearly_ as talented as you Kira." she smiled sweetly fully aware of what the other girl was trying to do.  
  
"Always so modest she is, it's admirable really." Kira smiled once more turning her gaze back to Murphy. "And would you look at that, break time already? Man today really flew by."  
  
"But you already took-"  
  
"Huh? What's that Cosmo? I deserve another break for working so hard? Well how awfully kind of you." Kira feigned fake enthusiasm putting her hand to her chest.  
  
"You heard the man, thank me later." Kira whispered with a wink before quickly walking away before Nolee could stop her.  
__  
Oh, you're so going to pay for that.

"She's umm...very nice." Murphy grinned in amusement making the girl roll her eyes.  
  
"She gives Mother Theresa a run for her money." Nolee nodded with sarcasm.  
  
"I bet."  
  
"So, you couldn't wait to see me again?" Nolee joked as Murphy shrugged somewhat shyly.  
  
"Well ye do make for interestin' conversations, just a bonus of comin' in here."  
  
"Is that so?" she questioned.  
  
"It is." Murphy confirmed giving a curt nod.  
  
"Well would you like anything else besides your coffee this time?" Nolee inquired awkwardly not sure if that had been a flirt or not.  
  
"I'll admit t'at chocolate muffin does look pretty tasty."  
  
"Careful, those ones are hand crafted by this interesting gal herself."  
  
"Oh, well now I _have_ ta try t'em. But if I die please tell me Ma I love her and Roc can have my cigarettes. But lastly, please listen carefully cause it's very important. " Murphy held up a finger as she nodded her head. "I'll need ye ta look me brudder in the eyes and very delicately...raise ye middle finger and say 'Murphy said fuck ye, I'm ta oldest." he whispered all in seriousness. Nolee blinked her eyes in a second of confusion but rolled her eyes.  
  
"Very funny." Nolee retorted but to her dismay, the corners of her lips turned up into a smile as she made his coffee. Murphy smirked in response pleased at his caused reaction.  
  
"Well what do ye know, ta feisty little lass is in fact capable of smiling." he exclaimed in victory, making Nolee glare at the tall Irish man.  
  
"You got lucky, although I wouldn't get used to it." she countered reaching for a chocolate muffin in the case and placing it on a napkin before sliding it across the counter to him. Murphy only looked her head on as he studied the defiance in her dark brown eyes while they stared down one another. Out of the two twins Murphy was never the one to back down from a challenge, perhaps it had been his downfall, and in this moment it had been no different. The thought of  Connor and his words from earlier echoed lightly in the back of his mind, but Murphy...was Murphy.  
  
"Yea...? We'll see about t'at." Murphy smirked accepting the challenge as he took the muffin and coffee. Nolee only watched him walk away from the counter and expected him to leave the shop, but he had instead sat down at a table. He continued to stare at her head on while taking a large bite out his muffin. There was nothing ominous about the way his dark eyes bored into her but she still couldn't help but feel flabbergasted.  
  
An undetectable feeling had suddenly swept over her body in that very moment. Something inside her just knew.... that everything was about to change.  
_  
  
**3 Weeks Later**

Murphy had visited the shop often after his shift at the meat packing plant to keep her company and Nolee suddenly found herself adapting to new a routine of seeing him everyday, mostly because she didn't really have a choice. He would simply sit down, drink his coffee, and make conversation with her until it was time to close. Despite being unsure of what was going on, Nolee couldn't bring herself to avoid him. Murphy had not been unusually pushy or suspicious...he was just simply there.  
  
Her defenses had remained strong, but the will to tolerate him had softened greatly. She couldn't say the exact moment it happened. But somehow and someway Murphy had inevitably become a strange piece of furniture in her life almost.  
  
Maybe it had been the first time Nolee finally let him walk her home. Murphy had offered many times before but naturally she always rejected. Nolee had undoubtedly did her best to make it clear she wasn't interested in any type of companionship. Despite the fact that Murphy was for the most part very respectful and understood where she was coming from, that had seemed to bother her the most. If he didn't want to try anything with her, then what was he here for?  
  
"Why do you want to know me?" she questioned him with exasperation as they stood outside of Cosmo's. Nolee had never really considered herself to be special or extraordinary. There was nothing spectacular about her that set her apart from the rest, she was just like anyone else in this world. So why did Murphy insist on talking with her?

"Why not?" was all he replied with.

"Well what is it about me that makes you want to know me?" she pressed with frustration as she looked up at him. His dark blue eyes clashed against her dark brown ones with equal frustration. An unlikely pair they made would be an understatement.

"I don't know." Murphy shrugged. "I don't know what it is about ye I find intriguing. Maybe it's because ye aren't like most people here in Boston. It's refreshing if I'm honest." he reasoned with a shrug.

"I'm complicated Murphy. Too complicated to even try and be friends with. I'm not really sure what is you want from me, but you're wasting your time." Nolee lamented as she stared at the ground stubbornly.

"T'at much is obvious lass, believe me. But, don't ye think even ta complicated people deserve a chance?" Murphy responded softly. Nolee slowly lifted her head back up from the ground to look back up at him. The dark peacoat and rosary once again catching her attention. This peculiar man with tattoos, where exactly did he come from?

"I suppose." she whispered lightly.

"Look I'm not really sure where t'is could go either. But I promise my intentions are never ta be malicious. Call it coincidence or whatever ye like, but we seemed ta cross paths often for some reason. Truthfully I like ye Nolee, I mean as a person of course."

"But Murphy you don't understand-"

"I simply just enjoy ye company is all lass. I don't t'ink friendship is t'at bad is it?" he questioned carefully. She shuffled on her feet unsure of what to say or how to feel. It had been a long time since she made friends, or even acquaintances. She had isolated herself for so long, basic communication skills were moot at this point. If Murphy really knew about her past, would he still feel the same way?

 

"No." she answered after a moment of silence.

"Besides, complicated people are usually ta most interestin."he explained with a wink while Nolee laughed lightly and smiled.

"Aye, t'ere goes another smile! I'm on a roll today aren't I?" Murphy smirked. Nolee half rolled her eyes as she looked away but her smile was kept in place.

"Now as friends it's definitely me duty ta make sure ye get home safe."

"Fine Murphy, you can walk me home." Nolee sighed in defeat to which he beamed in victory once again.

"A service I will gladly do wit' honor." he replied before dramatically bowing and holding out his hand. "Lead ta way me lady."

"Just come on." she retorted shaking her head before he stood up and grinned following after her. The two of the had once again made conversation while walking to Nolee's apartment, mostly stories Murphy had from the meat packing plant. The most interesting one to her was the very large lady named Rosengurtle who seemed to be a hardcore feminist and apparently wasn't very fond of the brothers' jokes.

"I t'ink she might actually kick one of us in ta balls soon, hopefully it's Connor."

"You really don't like your brother do you?" Nolee teased.

"Nah, I love me brudder. It's just how we are and always have been, even in ta womb. Drove our poor Ma nuts growin' up."

"Somehow I really don't doubt that." Nolee laughed.

"Connor might piss me off a lot of ta time, but t'eres nothing I wouldn't do for ta bastard."

"Well that's sweet."

"I guess."

There was silence again, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. Nolee's nerves has calmed down a bit walking beside him. The question burning in her mind still plagued her though, she tried to stop it but word vomit had erupted.

"Can I ask about the rosary you always wear? Are you religious?" she asked curiously. She carefully studied his expression for any indication it was inappropriate.  
  
"Aye, we consider ourselves ta be yes. We were raised Catholic."

"...does that explain the tattoos?" Nolee questioned her voice becoming meek. Murphy smirked at her reactions but nodded.

"Yes."

"That's cool." Nolee nervously replied.

"Does it bother ye?"

"What? No, of course not. I was just curious."  
  
"We don't look ta part tho huh? It's okay, ye not ta first ta point it out lass." Murphy answered smugly as her face became red.

"That's not what I meant though, I didn't mean to sound-"

"Nolee, I'm just messin' wit ye, relax." Murphy laughed noting her embarrassed expression.

"That wasn't nice." Nolee lamented as she tried to calm her nerves once more.

"I'm sorry lass, I know me sense of humor is different t'an most."

"Just a tad."

"I don't mean it half ta time tho, just how I am."

"Duly noted."

Nolee and Murphy finally reached her apartment building to which she sighed turning to face him.

"Well, this is my stop. Thank you for walking me home." she told him as she pointed to the old building, hoping he hadn't judged her too much from the rundown appearance.

"It's not a problem."

"I'll umm see you later I guess?" she awkwardly responded, never one to know how to say goodbye without being awkward. She watched him smile and give a nod back to her.

"Definitely. Have a good night... _friend."_ he answered making sure to emphasize the last word. He smiled one more time at her before waving and turning on his heel to walk off. Nolee watched the back of him until his figure became further away to where she could no longer see him. She sighed as she made her way into the building and up to her apartment.

Closing the door, she leaned back against it and mindlessly stared around. Somehow things had felt so different stepping into her apartment this time. Her mind also drifted away with thoughts of Murphy. Of all people in Boston, she crossed paths with a religious Irish man. She couldn't help but snicker at the irony but her amusement was short lived when she looked down at her stomach and reality had set back in.

What did she just get herself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the people who have left kudos so far, thank you so much. I haven't written an actual story in a very long time so I still feel rusty. I'm enjoying this story though, so I hope to get in more depth now. Thank you for reading!


	8. The Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is it isn't it? The nice guy act is over, you're going to murder me now."

  
"I mean he only visits you practically everyday. I can see how differently you're changing, be honest you're becoming fond of him aren't you?"

"No...? I mean fine I admit, he's not as bad I thought, but there's nothing special going on."

"Right. So if that's true, then why did he walk you home?" Kira questioned crossing her arms over her chest. Nolee couldn't hide the blush spreading along her cheeks.

"Yeah, I saw you."

"How did you even see us?"

"I was eating at Rosalie's with Brian."

"You sound really stalkerish right now."

"Don't try and avoid the subject Nols."

"Just cause we went to dinner one time-"

"Wait what? You went to dinner with him and you didn't tell me?!"

"Shit..." Nolee whispered to herself.

"Well?! What happened?" Kira demanded impatiently.

"Nothing happened! It wasn't planned, it just sort of happened after my doctor's appointment. I saw him when I was going home, he works at the meat packing plant."

"Really?"

"Yes. I mean it wasn't necessarily bad. We just talked about random stuff, but I guess we're friends now though." Nolee answered shrugging.

"Friends? So, he's cool with you being prego?" Kira asked surprised. Nolee's mouth made an O shape as she glanced sideways.

"I haven't quite told him yet?"

"You haven't told him?! Don't you think that's something he should know now? I mean, Cosmo is different. But this could get messy!"

"Well what am I supposed to say exactly? Hey by the way I'm pregnant, hope that's cool with you."

"He needs to know Nolee. Like soonish."

"I know..." Nolee whispered feeling guilt start to consume her.

"Maybe you can try to tell him at the Halloween party at McGinty's." Kira suggested thoughtfully.

"Halloween party?" Nolee replied confused.

"Yeah, I mean Halloween is next, duh."

"Shit, I didn't even realize."

"Well everyone is planning to be there, but you gotta dress up. Oh my god, I can dress you up!" Kira beamed clapping her hands.

"Really? I'm not really festive when it comes to Halloween."

"Oh come on, I  have tons of stuff you can pick from. Plus, your lover boy is likely to be there."

"Please stop referring to him as lover boy, his name is Murphy." Nolee replied cringing.

"Murphy huh? Hmm... it suits him."

"Plus what if it gets a little too crazy on Halloween, probably not the best idea I go."

"Well...if you don't you need to figure something out. Because he deserves to know Nolee."

"But what if he...doesn't take it well."

"The he doesn't take it well and you can move on like nothing happened. Either way, you can't avoid this any further."

"How come you're suddenly being the voice of reason now?" Nolee grumbled as Kira laughed.

"Every now and then I can actually be sensible."

"I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, I try."  
____

The rest of the day had passed by without Murphy showing up. Nolee was a bit surprised, but she quickly shook the thought away. Why would she care anyways, he does have a life of his own.  
She quickly took out the trash while Kira closed up the register. When all their tasks were finished they bid their goodbyes like always, Nolee carefully locked the doors.

"Nolee." a voice spoke making her jump and gasp. She turned to the person and breathed a sigh of relief to see Murphy.

"Murphy you scared me."

"I'm sorry lass, didn't mean ta startle ye."

"It's okay. What are you doing here so late though?"

"Well I got caught up helpin' Rocco get his hair unstuck from ta blow dryer. Again."

"Again?" Nolee questioned curiously as Murphy nodded his head.

"Again. Let's just say Rocco isn't exactly normal."

"Is anyone ever really normal though?" she teased as he shrugged and gave a nod of agreement.

"Touche lass. Anyways, I was hopin' to catch ye before you left to go home."

"Oh yeah, what for?"

"Ever been to ta Greenway?"  
_____

A short trip on the subway had brought Nolee back to downtown. She watched Murphy carefully as he sat next to her in silence. He wore his sunglasses the whole ride and had his arms crossed over his chest.

"Where we going?" Nolee finally asked.

"Just a place, don't worry you'll like it." was he all he said as she eyed him suspiciously the remainder of the trip. When they finally got off, he helped her off the subway and began to lead the way back up above ground. They walked for what seemed like a long time until they reached a dimly lit path. The sun had gone drastically leaving the sky a deep blue and providing just enough light to see where she was going. Her senses started to become alive as she looked at Murphy.

"Where are we?"

"We're almost t'ere lass."

"This is it isn't it? The nice guy act is over, you're going to murder me now."

"Umm...no?" Murphy replied confused.

"Why is it so dark over here then? You're gonna bury me alive aren't you?" she gasped as Murphy raised his eyebrow.

"What ta hell Nolee, do you watch too much Law and Order or sometin?"

"Maybe. So what if I do, it's a good show! Olivia Benson is a bad ass, and hey we're not talking about me right now mister."

"What are we talkin' about t'en?"

"How you're planning to murder me."

"Jesus Christ, I'm not gonna murder ye."

"That's what they all say."

"Oh my god." he groaned as they walked a bit further before we stopped. "We're here, see?" he clarified pointing to a big sign. Nolee stared at the words that read 'Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy Greenway.' Nolee looked around in curiosity and walked over to the grass area. There was various gigantic art sculptures scattered about. Surrounded by plazas and promenades with landscaped gardens. Nolee's eyes sparkled in amazement never knowing such a place existed.

"Wow." she whispered aloud. "This is so cool."

"I told ye you'd like it didn't I?" Murphy smiled studying her reaction. Nolee ran her hand around the muli-colored sculpture in a child-like wonder. She had never seen been to a place like this before.

"T'eres different art each time. " he explained as she smiled.

"They're beautiful."

"I like ta come here a lot, good place ta think." Murphy added as she looked back at him. Her attention was quickly distracted by a large yellow object.

"What the heck is that?!" she exclaimed trotting off closer to it realizing it was a yellow house tilted on its side in the middle of the grass. It has three windows and a front door, quite a random piece to have just laying there. She stared at it infatuated for some reason unable to turn her eyes away from it. Murphy soon joined here to where she stood.

"Christ, imagine being drunk and tryin' ta get into a house like t'at." he stated unsure of the piece. Nolee couldn't help but laugh at his reaction making him look back at her. She shifted her gaze to the floor shyly.

"Let's uhh see what else is there."

They explored the rest of the greenway and the other sculptures, Murphy naturally providing jokes the whole way. Nolee would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't enjoying herself. The setting was calm and peaceful and Murphy's company had been nice. He had at least made a huge effort to keep her entertained and feel comfortable. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this at ease.

"So Rocco, you mention him a lot who is he?" she inquired unapologetically being nosy.

"Ahh Roc? He's a good friend of Connor and I. We met him ta first night we came to McGinty's and well we sort of adopted him. He's not always ta smartest guy in ta world, but he's got a good heart. We love him for ta gentle gorilla he is."

"He seems like an interesting guy, I'd like to meet him." Nolee teased.

"I'm sure ye will meet him soon don't worry. Hey t'at reminds me t'eres a Halloween thing going on ta bar. You should come."

"Oh yeah Kira told me about it."

"It'd be pretty cool if you came."

"Why is that?"

"Cause if you didn't t'en I wouldn't have a reason ta go." Murphy smiled lightly making her blush.

"I'll umm think about it." she replied softly as he gave a nod.

"Okay."

"Thanks by the way, for taking me here. I appreciate it." she added politely.

"You're very welcome. I appreciate t'at you appreciate it." he teased causing her to smile again. He seemed to be able to that a lot it seemed. They continued to chat about random things for a little while which somehow seemed to revolve around music mostly.

"I don't know about ye, but I'm awfully hungry."

"I could eat I guess."

"I know a place just around ta corner if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind."

"Great, shall we go t'en?"

"Okay." Nolee shrugged as she adjusted her coat. The guilt she felt previously that day reared its ugly head again. She felt her stomach tighten as she looked at him getting ready to smoke a cigarette. Kira's words echoed in her mind to her dismay.

 _'He deserves to know.'_  
She inhaled a deep breath and attempted to gather up the courage. "Murphy?"

"Yes lass?" he answered gently looking her way.

"I umm have somethin' to tell you."

"Okay...what is it?" he inquired putting his lighter back in his coat pocket. Nolee shuffled on her and willed the words to come out.

"I umm...just wanted to tell you that...I'll go to the Halloween party." she answered with disappointment, the little courage she had vanishing.

"Oh, well cool t'en." he responded with a smile. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah..." she whispered and began to follow him back to the subway, the guilt eating at her as she kept her head down.

How was she going to do this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way I've never been to Boston. But I'm trying hard to research and make things realistic for the time period of the film so if things are wonky I apologize.


	9. All Hallow's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe ye oughta be a little more careful ye?"

Dozens of children ran through the streets dressed up in all sorts of costumes fully prepared to consume their body weight in sugar, confirming Halloween had definitely arrived in all its glory. When the day had ended Kira had practically dragged Nolee from the shop to her apartment to get ready for the party.  
  
"I can't believe you were about to tell him and you wussed out." Kira scolded once more receiving an eye roll from the other brunette.  
  
"You're really going to hang this over my head aren't you? I told you I tried to tell him, I couldn't get the words out." Nolee replied in frustration feeling as if the conversation had been a broken record at this point. She knew once she told Kira what happened with Murphy and how she almost confessed to him, she'd never hear the end of it.  
  
"Well you better figure out something, like now."  
  
"Maybe you can tell him?" Nolee suggested thoughtfully as the taller girl squinted her eyes.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You have no problem being up front and bitchy if the situation calls for it." Nolee explained holding her hands out.  
  
"Is that a compliment or...?" Kira replied confused.  
  
"Definitely a compliment, you aren't afraid to be honest."  
  
"Well thank you, but unfortunately that isn't my place to tell him babe, that's one hundred percent your issue."  
  
"Thanks for your support." Nolee grumbled as Kira only smirked while they walked the rest of the way to Kira's apartment.  
  
"Who knows, maybe he won't even care." Kira spoke up when they reached her front door.  
  
"Somehow I really doubt that."  
  
"Well let's just focus on getting ready first alright? Come on, this is going to be fun!"  
  
"Tell me again why I'm letting you dress me up as if I'm your own personal Barbie doll?" Nolee sighed heavily questioning her decision making these past few weeks, they didn't seem to take her very far.  
  
"Cause you are, so get used to it. Now hurry up and get your prego ass inside." Kira demanded opening her door and stepping aside to let Nolee in first.  
  
"Alright fine sheesh." Nolee retorted begrudgingly and walked inside the apartment. She scanned her new surroundings and was surprised to find Kira's apartment surprisingly neat and tidy, having never been inside before. She had to admit she was half expecting party girl decor to be everywhere or at least wine bottles scattered about.  
  
"Your place is nice."  
  
"Thanks, most of the stuff is from my parents though." Kira replied in what seemed to imply disinterest. Nolee shifted awkwardly on her feet and tried to block the thoughts popping up in her head.  
__  
'At least you have parents.'

She followed Kira into her bedroom and waited on what to do next. Kira took several steps forward to her stereo and turned it on. Soon the sound of "Crush" by Jennifer Paige had filled the room, Kira excitedly started to dance as Nolee only looked on uncomfortably.  
  
"This is gonna be so fun! Now sit here." Kira told her pointing to the small vanity table. Nolee hesitantly sat down as Kira studied her fiercely.  
  
"Hmm...so what shall you be tonight?" she pondered aloud as Nolee shrugged her shoulders. Kira turned her eyes to her closet for a brief moment, a loud gasp escaping her mouth when she finished.  
  
"I got it!" she smirked as Nolee prepared for the worst. "You can be the Virgin Mary!" Kira shouted which resulted in her hunching over and howling in laughter. Nolee narrowed her eyes as she watched her in the mirror less than amused.  
  
"Are you finished?"  
  
"Okay I'm done now, I'm sorry." Kira sighed wiping a tear from her eye.  "For real this time, I have an idea."  
  
___  
  
  
"Out of all the ideas that kept running through your head, you really decided to dress me up as Betty Boop? Am I a joke to you?" Nolee questioned as she observed herself in the mirror, horror etched into her eyes. Kira had taken what seemed an eternity on her and makeup, just to end up in this?  
  
"Oh come on! You're petite just like her and have curly hair! It's so perfect." Kira countered. Nolee squirmed uncomfortably in the mini red strapless dress.  
  
"I feel like I'm gonna burst at the seams." Nolee complained as she grabbed at the red dress. "Of course you'd think it was a good idea to put me in a tight dress."  
  
"You can't even see your bump so don't start to freak out. Besides, you look amazing! The dress suits you way better than it does me. You have some rocking curves girl, I mean look at that ass!"  
  
"Please stop." Nolee begged at the intensity Kira was radiating.  
  
"Murphy's so going to drool when he sees you, might even pop a stiffy."  
  
"Kira I swear to god." Nolee warned.  
  
"It's a good thing you're already pregnant cause..."  
  
"Oh my god, stop!" Nolee screamed as she cupped her hands over her ears. Kira giggled while rolling her eyes.  
  
"I'm kidding jesus, chill out."  
  
"Well it's not funny." Nolee retorted. "And it's not fair you look way better than me." she whined as she looked at Kira in envy who decided to be dead Miss Argentina from Beetlejuice. Kira huffed in frustration and grabbed the smaller girl by her shoulders.  
  
"I said you look amazing damn it and I'm always right. So stop critiquing yourself all the time, you're gorgeous. So just the take frigging compliment okay?!" Kira shouted as Nolee could only stare at her with wide eyes frozen in place, never seeing Kira angry before. The seriousness in her eyes had made Nolee slightly emotional.Whether it was the hormones or the fact that it had been so long for her to remember what it was to have a best friend, tears pricked the corner of her eyes but she blinked them away. Now was not the time to make the mood depressing.  
  
"Thank you Kira." she whispered sincerely. Kira smiled back at her genuinely before letting her shoulders go.  
  
"Of course. Now let's go, we're already late!"  
___  
  
"My god, did you have to pin my hair up so tight though?" Nolee whined as she picked at the pin curls Kira had made to resemble Betty Boop hair, which bugged her the whole way over. Not to mention the whistles they had gotten by random men as well. Kira immediately smacked the small girl's hand away.  
  
"Don't touch! You need them to stay put, don't want them coming undone."  
  
"I still can't believe you made me Betty Boop! What if they laugh at me in there?" Nolee feared as they reached the door to McGinty's. She could already feel her social anxiety sky rocket at how many people were inside.`  
  
"Umm...there's a guy right there dressed as a maxi pad. I think you'll be just fine." Kira reassured her as she pulled her by the hand inside the bar. The noise intensity immediately increasing as both girls merged through the crowd. Nolee curiously looked at all the costumes people were wearing ranging from Batman to slutty cheetah, it was an interesting scene to say the least. Nolee had involuntarily begun to scan the crowd for Murphy but was unable to spot him.  
  
"Wow what a turn out right? Come with me to get a drink?" Kira beamed turning to Nolee who nodded her head. They made their way to the bar where several men had been standing, all of course turning their attention to Kira as she approached them giving a sweet smile. Putting on the full charm no doubt to get one to buy her a drink, and what do you know it worked. One of the men switched their sights to Nolee and smiled.  
  
"What about ye sweetheart? Can I buy ye a drink?" he offered kindly donning an Irish accent, there was slight disappointment that it wasn't Murphy.  
  
"I'm good thanks." she politely declined letting them go back to fawning over Kira. They spent a good portion of their time at the bar with the guys who continued to spoil Kira with drinks. Nolee had gathered quickly the men were the real Irish locals that came here practically every night. A little rough around the edges, but they were actually pretty funny. Nolee felt a bit more at ease for once being at a bar, it made up for the last time she had came.  
  
"Is that a smile? Are you actually enjoying yourself?" Kira asked shocked as she realized Nolee hadn't complained once since they walked in.  
  
"Maybe..." Nolee shrugged casually as Kira gasped.  
  
"You're finally coming out that depressing turtle shell of yours, I'm so proud of you." Kira whispered wiping away fake tears.  
  
"Gee thanks." Nolee responded turning her eyes back to the large crowd and frowning. Where was he?  
  
"You're searching for him aren't you?" Kira noted raising her eyebrow at the smaller girl who quickly looked away.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." she replied defensively. "Anyways I gotta pee." Nolee added standing up from her seat and Kira nodded. She awkwardly maneuvered her way through the increasingly rowdy dancing crowd and barely made it to the bathroom before her bladder burst.  
  
"Oh thank god." she whispered in sweet relief before exiting the stall and washing her hands. She winced as she adjusted the bobby pins in hair, it was going to be a pain in the ass to take them out when she got home. Rolling her eyes Nolee quickly dried her hands and exited the bathroom back into the madness. She could no longer see Kira through the people and became anxious.  
  
"Hey Betty Boop, wanna dance with me?" a voice called out to her as she turned in its direction. A young slender man was staring at her with anticipation that immediately made her nervous.  
  
"Umm I can't sorry, I'm looking for someone-"  
  
"Aww don't be like that honey." he persisted grabbing her by the waist as she gasped. She cringed when she realized his breath reeked of alcohol.  
  
"Let me go." she demanded as he only laughed.  
  
"Don't be that way baby, just dance with me. You look so hot." he replied forcing her to sway with him as she squirmed under his grasp.  
  
"Let me go!" she shouted feeling the familiar panic and nausea spread throughout her body. The way he was aggressive and the way he smiled...it was like he was...  
  
"Ta girl said let her go." a deep familiar voice chimed in and both Nolee and the man turned their eyes to the voice. The look in his eyes had frightened the man enough to where he let go of Nolee's waist.  
  
"Sorry man." he apologized fearfully before walking away. Nolee felt frozen for a moment before she could move her feet.  
  
"Connor." she whispered in surprise. "T-thank you." she told him gratefully. Connor only stared at her blankly before his face suddenly turned to annoyance.  
  
"Maybe ye oughta be a little more careful ye?" he scolded her before turning on his heels and walking away. Nolee stood frozen in shock at the cold reaction from him, did she do something to him? A lump built up in her throat as she blinked away tears, damn hormones at it again. Feeling overwhelmed she pushed her way through the crowd and back to the bar. Further feeling crappy when she realized Kira had disappeared.  
  
"Great." she sighed as she walked a couple steps closer to the counter.  
  
"What can I get ye little lass?" an elderly man with thick glasses and white hair asked kindly.  
  
"Can I just have a water?"  
  
"Sure ye can. Fuck! Ass!" he suddenly yelled as she stared him completely speechless.  
  
"He's not talkin' to you personally sweetheart. That's Doc, he's got Tourettes." the man sitting next to her explained amused at her shocked reaction. She turned her head to a large man with shaggy dark hair and a full grown beard.  
  
"Oh." she was all could say.  
  
"Hey, are you Betty Boop? I love Betty Boop! Very classy lady." the shaggy haired man exclaimed with a smile. Nolee involuntarily laughed, there was nothing alarming about him that registered with her. He seemed pretty innocent enough.  
  
"I am, yes."  
  
"Now _that_ is impressive. Much cooler than all the girls dressed as cats I keep seeing." he replied rolling his eyes dramatically.  
  
"Well thank you, I appreciate that." Nolee giggled.  
  
"I'm Rocco by the way, nice to meet you."  
  
"I'm Nolee." she responded kindly before the bells went off in her mind. "Rocco!" she repeated at the familiarity and smiled at the coincidence. "I've heard about you."  
  
"Wait what have you heard?" Rocco questioned with eyes widening in paranoia. "And who did you hear it from? Was it Vincenzo?"  
  
"Ummm...no?"  
  
"Oh okay good, then uhh forget I said anything." Rocco laughed nervously before concentrating on his beer.  
  
"Okay..." Nolee mumbled confused and shook her head as she drank her water. Why was it when she finally started to feel decent, things suddenly decided to go wrong?  
  
"Nolee?" another voice appeared from behind her. Nolee instantly recognized it and turned around nervously.  
  
"Murphy." she replied surprised. "I didn't think you were coming after all."  
  
"Aye, well better late t'an never ye?" he joked with a smile. His eyes had then scanned her outfit and she could see his eyes widen a bit before looking back at her.  
  
"Betty Boop? Wow..." was all Murphy remarked. Suddenly feeling self conscious she wrapped an arm around her waist.  
  
"I know, I look ridiculous don't I?  
  
"No..." Murphy gasped shaking his head. "Quite ta opposite actually lass."  
  
"Oh." she blushing. "Well thank you." she added awkwardly. Almost as if he could read her mind, he approached her closer.  
  
"You seem flustered, want ta go outside for a bit?" he whispered knowingly as she looked at him and nodded. He smiled before lightly taking her by the hand and guiding her through the crowd keeping her close to him until they got outside. Nolee gratefully inhaled the fresh cold air.  
  
"Things gettin' a little crazy in t'ere or what?" Murphy teased.  
  
"Just a little bit." she nodded.  
  
"Are ye okay?" his voice was now filled with concern.  
  
"I am now thank you." Nolee replied gently.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"I ended up losing Kira, I'm not sure where she went."  
  
"She's probably still inside, maybe saw a friend. I wouldn't worry yet." he reasoned.  
  
"Yeah." she replied persuading herself to agree with him to keep from getting worried. "So how come you're so late?" she joked attempting to change the subject.  
  
"Just had some ta stuff ta deal with is all." he answered simply leaning back against the brick wall and as typical he reached for his pack of cigarettes in his jeans. Nolee felt curiosity in her burn not fully believing him but let it go, it wasn't her business to pry anyways.  
  
"You know I don't think your brother likes me very much." she added recalling the encounter with Connor she just had.  
  
"Ye, well Connor doesn't like a lot of people. Don't take it personal tho' lass. But just curious, why do ye t'ink t'at?" he inquired lighting his cigarette.  
  
"I just...ran into him inside and when he saw me he sort of brushed me off." she lied not wanting to talk about Connor actually saving her from some drunk pervert.  
  
"Aye, he can get in a bit of a mood sometimes. Especially after havin' a call with our Ma, she tends ta get emotional every now and t'en. It's been hard for her since our Da left." he explained taking a slow drag.  
  
"That's got to be hard. I'm sorry." Nolee whispered unsure as to what to say back.  
  
"It's okay." he answered shrugging his shoulders. "Just how life is. She still managed somehow ta raise us bastards." he added with a smirk making her half smile. There was yet another comfortable silence between them as Murphy continued to smoke his cigarette, Nolee was glad for the slight breeze that pushed the smoke in the opposite direction from her.  
  
"Ye know, I wasn't kiddin' when I said ye look good." he spoke.  
  
"Are you flirting me with Murphy?" Nolee accused.  
  
"If I said yes, are ye goin' ta hurt me?"  
  
"On any other given day most likely. But since it's Halloween, I'll let it slide."  
  
"Thank ye lass, but I promise I'm not tryin' ta perv. Just speakin' ta truth." Murphy justified finishing his cigarette and putting it out.  
  
"Well thank you Murphy." she whispered shyly. Somehow his words hadn't seem to be off putting like it normally would coming from any other guy. Hearing it from Murphy, it almost made her feel good. Maybe it was pleasing to hear after the night going awry, or maybe she was just tired.  
  
"No thanks necessary."  
  
"Hey, you're not dressed up. That's not fair." she realized noticing he was still in his jeans and black long sleeved shirt.  
  
"I don't really do costumes lass." Murphy explained lifting his hands up in disinterest.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"When ye already naturally impressive, t'eres not really a point is t'ere? How many bad ass Irish men do ye know?" he teased.  
  
"Mm, and let me guess the ladies just go instantly crazy over you when you arrive right?" Nolee shot back with sass.  
  
"I don't know a pretty girl is talkin' to me now, guess I'm doin' good so far." Murphy countered. Nolee blushed in response at the unintentional flirting that seemed to be taking place. She knew she was treading dangerous territory at this point.  
  
"I umm I better go find Kira." she told him as she made a move in attempt to go back inside. Unaware of the large brick that was in front of her right foot, she gasped loudly as she tripped over it and braced herself for the impact that was about to come.  
  
"Christ lass," Murphy called out as he swiftly caught her in time before she could fall. Nolee felt his warm arms wrap around her waist and hold onto her tightly. She breathed heavily when she realized her face was only inches from his. She shivered at noticing how intense the color of his eyes could be, as if he could gaze into her soul. Her attention shifted to the small mole just above the left side of his lip, not noticing it before. The smell of mint and cigarettes had seemed to radiate off of him and strangely it wasn't bad.  
  
She waited for Murphy for to pull her back up but he only held onto her. The same curiosity seemed to been inside him as well.  
  
_What am I doing?_ she questioned upon realizing that it had felt rather comfortable in his arms.  
  
_What the hell am I doing?_  
  
"Murphy..." she whispered carefully to him, alarmed that the more he looked at her the more his rosy lips looked inviting. As if he had read her mind once again, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Her eyes widened at the action but she couldn't find the will to pull away. Her eyes quickly closed concentrating on how his lips were soft and glided along hers smoothly enough to make her not care about the mint cigarette laced taste. When he finally pulled away, there was split second of her being disappointed that he did. When her eyes opened she realized what she had just done. Why had he just done that? Why had she just done that? Panic filled her eyes and her heart beat rapidly as she could feel the word vomit rising rapidly in her throat when she looked up at him.  
  
"Murphy, I'm pregnant."  


  
  
  



	10. Easier Said Than Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But that's life cupcake, it's never planned."

"It was just a kiss lass, I don't t'ink it works like t'at." Murphy replied confused raising Nolee back up on to her feet.  
  
"No Murphy, I'm... _pregnant._ " Nolee repeated herself emphasizing the word. She could see the array of emotions change in his eyes.  
  
"Since when?" he questioned in shock.  
  
"For a while now..." she whispered in guilt, Murphy's eyes continued to widen.  
  
"But how? I mean...who's ta father?" he questioned more aggressively.  
  
"It's my ex, from back home." she explained still keeping her voice low, not trusting herself enough to speak up. Murphy remained quiet as he fidgeted on his feet, but continued to stare at her intensely.  
  
"Why didn't ye tell me t'is before?"  
  
"Murphy, I swear I was going to tell you."  
  
"Ye? When?" Murphy scoffed.  
  
"Soon of course. I just didn't...I didn't know exactly how to tell you." Nolee confessed rubbing her arm nervously.  
  
"Well I'm glad ye picked t'is moment." Murphy replied sardonically as the hurt spread through her face.  
  
"I wasn't doing it on purpose Murphy, please understand how hard this is for me." Nolee pleaded as tears formed in her eyes from the embarrassment. Murphy's aggression had softened at her reaction but his body language was still stiff and unsure. Nolee did not know exactly how long it took for him to speak.  
  
"I get it." Murphy finally spoke up as he slowly nodded his head in understanding. "But...I need time." he added firmly while giving her a final look. He straightened out his posture and turned on his heels before he began to walk off down the alley without another word. Nolee had wanted to call after him but instead she lowered her head in defeat. He had made it less than a quarter of the way before he suddenly halted and looked over his shoulder at her.  
  
"Congratulations." he whispered as he turned his head back and began walking again. Nolee's lip trembled watching him move until his figure had blended in with the dark of the night. She stood frozen and blankly stared at the other brick wall in front on her. She had expected this fully, but to have it actually play out in front of her and see him react the way he did; why did the rejection still hurt so much?  
  
Ashamed and overwhelmed at the whole situation, she began to sob alone in the alley. This was not what she planned in the slightest, nothing had seemed planned.  
  
"Nolee, there you are!" Kira suddenly cried out in relief to find the smaller outside. "Oh thank god, I've been looking everywhere for you, where did you go?!" she questioned coming closer. Her face instantly dropping when she saw Nolee's face. "Why are you crying, what's wrong? What happened?" Kira began to panic as she observed the small girl's body. Nolee looked up at Kira as her lip began to tremble again unable to speak.  
  
"Oh sweetie..." Kira whispered knowingly. "You told him?"  
  
Nolee nodded her head slowly in response.  
  
"Come here." Kira replied comfortingly and pulled the smaller girl into her embrace. "It's going to be okay."  
  
"We kissed Kira." Nolee admitted as the other girl's eyes widen in surprise but remained silent, instead she sighed in sympathy.  
  
"Come on, let's get you home and maybe something to eat. We can talk about everything later, it's going to be okay though, I promise." Kira consoled her as she helped her regain composure. Kira held on to Nolee as they exited McGinty's and made the journey back home. As much as Nolee didn't have an appetite Kira demanded she eat something from the local market and not having the strength to protest, Nolee settled on a turkey sandwich. Aside from that both of them didn't speak much the rest of the way, but Kira's embrace had softened the pain. When they reached Nolee's apartment Kira had helped her inside.  
  
"We'll talk tomorrow, but first try to get some sleep okay?" Kira told her softly as Nolee nodded.  
  
"Thank you Kira."  
  
"You don't have to thank me babe, just get some rest. I'll see you in the morning." Kira replied giving her one last hug before leaving. Nolee inhaled a sharp breath at being alone again, willing herself to walk to the bathroom and change out of her costume. She undid the bobby pins in her hair and flinched at the tenderness of her scalp. Looking at herself in the mirror she grimaced at her makeup now being smeared from crying. Deciding to take a shower, she let the hot water run until steam filled the bathroom. Stepping into it and letting the warmth take her over she temporarily felt as if she almost was able to wash away tonight's events...almost.  
  
When she finished she dried herself off and changed into pajamas. Crawling into her bed she wrapped her arms herself and sighed. The tightness in her chest had remained and her eyes felt sore. Watching him walk down the alley had played over and over in head as she felt the tears build up again. Was it that she somehow deep down foolishly did hope he wouldn't have cared?  
  
She huffed and turned to her otherside in confliction. Things weren't great when she moved to Boston but at least it was on the right track. Now? She had no absolutely idea what her life was now. Feeling the heaviness of reality weigh on her and having no one to talk to, Nolee felt deja vu of the first night she spent in Boston. Only instead this time Murphy had been the one to consume her thoughts. Nolee cried as she thought about the irony. As much as she felt indifferent about whatever Murphy and her seemed to have going on, part of her still felt inclined to grieve at the possibility that it was now over.  
__  
  
"So you kissed, and then you told him immediately after?" Kira clarified as Nolee nodded slowly. Her eyes still from crying herself to sleep the previous night. Waking up had been dreadful and Nolee was sure she scared majority of the customers with her face, but her energy had felt drained.  
  
"Well what did he say afterwards?"  
  
"He was a bit upset understandably. He asked me who the father was."  
  
"Well did you explain it's your ex?"  
  
"Yes, but I don't think that made it any better. I told him that I wasn't trying to keep it from him, I just wanted to wait for a right time. He said he understood but that needed time, and then he left."  
  
"Well, maybe he really does need time? Guys are more dramatic, he might just need to collect himself. But if not, at least you finally came clean." Kira replied trying to be optimistic like she always did.  
  
"He probably hates me now." Nolee lamented as she rested her head on the cold counter.  
  
"I doubt he hates you Nolee. I mean, it _is_ a tricky situation to be caught in."  
  
"It's not like I planned this though, I didn't expect any of this." Nolee defended.  
  
"But that's life cupcake, it's never planned. If it was, you think I'd be working at Cosmo's right now?" Kira teased.  
  
"I just don't understand why it hurts so much." Nolee whispered confused. Kira sighed at the smaller girl and touched her shoulder comfortingly.  
  
"Maybe it's because somewhere deep down whether you want to admit it or not, you started taking a liking to him. Maybe he somehow found a loophole into your damaged heart." Kira explained.  
  
"It's absurd though, I haven't even known him long."  
  
"Time doesn't always get to decide how you feel about someone."  
  
"You sound like a fortune cookie."  
  
"I'm serious."  
  
"Yeah well, I'm unsure about that."  
  
"Look all I'm saying, is that some things happen for a reason. You told him the truth and now the ball is in his court, that's all you can do at this point. Wallow a bit if you must, but don't do it for too long." Kira replied rubbing her shoulder before walking to the back leaving Nolee alone in her thoughts.  
  
It was easier said than done.  
  
She tried to keep herself distracted for the most part but it seldom worked. Because as she tried her eyes would still seem glued to the clock on the wall. Each passing hour her stomach would drop a bit more. Because each hour that passed, there was absolutely no sign of him.  
 __  
'Maybe he really does need time?' Nolee listened to Kira's words and tried to act as normal as possible. But by the second day that had approached, any little shred of hope she had was diminishing. The gloomy weather had only made her mood worse as she stared out the window of her dark room she watched the city quietly sleep. Part of her wondered if he was somewhere out there right now.  
  
 _'It's probably for the best anyways that he stays away from you. If he were to find out about what happened with Tristan, he wouldn't even want to be around you, who would want to be around someone so damaged?'_  
  
The revelation in her mind had manage to numb whatever feeling that resided in her stomach. After all, who was she really kidding? She knew it was better to be alone right now in the first place, yet she found herself in the exact situation she was trying to avoid.  
  
Her hand gently cradled her stomach as she sighed and turned away from the window. This was not about her anymore, she needed to stop being so distracted and focus on what she came here to do. No more emotions being scattered all over the place, things were bound to get messier if she didn't. Maybe there was something meaningful crossing paths with the peculiar Irish man, but it was over now. Besides, Murphy had obviously made it clear where he stood and Nolee knew deep down he had the right to turn away.  
  
But if was he was going to move on, she would do the same.  
  



	11. Kicks & Tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's it, we're gonna turn over a new leaf officially."

A large crowd of people hurriedly walked through the double doors and into their seats. Whispering among themselves and parents silencing rowdy kids, Connor and Murphy followed suit until they found their own seats and sat down.  
  
Patiently waiting for the sermon to begin the twins sat in an unusual silence. Connor gave his brother the side eye and watched him suspiciously while Murphy only look forward blankly. There was something off about him lately no doubt, Murphy was never this quiet in his whole damn life. But before Connor could bother him about it, the minister had walked up to the podium and the morning mass began.  
  
When the service was over the brothers slowly stood up from their seats and made their way down to the altar to give their respects. When they finished they walked back towards the doors to exit.  
  
"Ye know one day the Monsignor's gonna see t'at we were right all along." Connor sighed as both twins seemed to act as one and pull out their pack of cigarettes and lighters simultaneously.  
  
"Mmm." Murphy answered absentmindedly as Connor side eyed his brother again in annoyance.  
  
"Ma also called last night again.  Nothin' important except ta say how I'm ta better son and you're a disappointment. Ye know, ta usual." Connor bragged in pure sarcasm as Murphy only lit his cigarette.  
  
"Mmm." he repeated causing to Connor roll his eyes in frustration.  
  
"Goddamn it what is ye problem? Ye been a moody little shit ever since Halloween." he pointed out  
  
"I'm fine." Murphy replied lowly.  
  
"What, sometin' happen with t'at girl of yers?" Connor retorted taking a puff of his cigarette.  
  
"I don't want te talk about it right now alright?" Murphy replied defensively.  
  
"Aww, did ye try and swoon her but failed? Little coffee girl crushed Macho Murph's feelin's?" Connor teased making Murphy glare back at his twin.  
  
"I'm not in ta mood for ye fuckin' shit right now Connor." Murphy snapped back as he flicked his cigarette onto the ground and crushed it before walking back inside the church leaving his brother alone. Connor sighed as he shook his head in dismay at how ridiculous his twin could be sometimes.  
  
"Christ." he grumbled before taking one last drag of his cigarette and putting it out. He'd deal with his brother later.  
  
Murphy hands anxiously twitched as he opened the small brown door and stepped inside the narrow enclosure. The little window in front of him had slid open as Murphy continued to twitch in the seat.  
  
"Forgive me Father, for it's been a while since me last confession."  
____  
  
"Don't forget we have inventory coming up soon." Kira reminded as she passed by the small girl who groaned.

"Oh fuck," she replied. "I forgot. Think I could fake my death to get out of it?"

"Honey, Cosmo could be at your funeral and still ask what time are you coming in." Kira retorted as both girls laughed in unison.

"Sad but true." Nolee shrugged in agreement before adding more change to the register.

"Ahh." Nolee gasped as suddenly she felt a strange pain in her stomach. Not enough to be alarming, but enough to make her lean over on the counter as her lower abdomen tightened. "Damn round ligament pains." she cursed rubbing the aching spot. They always picked the wrong times to act up when she was working. Closing her eyes she tried to relax the tensed up nerve. A force suddenly jabbed at her fingers. Nolee gasped again as she wasn't sure about what just felt, could it be...?  
  
She held her fingers firmly against the spot again and another jab touched them once more as she laughed in astonishment, her hormones had made her eyes tear up again, but for once it had been happy tears. This was the reason why she had left, this was what she needed to protect.  
  
"Kira!" Nolee yelled to the girl on the other side of the shop.  
  
"What?" Kira yelled back.  
  
"Come here quick!" Nolee replied as the tall girl walked over to her worriedly.  
  
"What's going on?" Kira questioned as Nolee only reached out and grabbed the girl's hand pressing it to the side of her stomach.  
  
"Umm what are we doing...?" Kira asked confused.  
  
"Shh, just wait a second." Nolee explained as a moment of silence passed before Kira felt the same jab as her eyes widened.  
  
"Holy shit what was that?"  
  
"That's the baby kicking." Nolee laughed still in amazement.  
  
"Oh my god! That is kind of disgusting but cool!" Kira beamed as the girls giggled and waited for anymore kicks.  
  
"If that isn't your sign that things are gonna work out, then I don't know what is." Kira told the small girl encouragingly. It was a surreal awakening to actually feel the life inside of her.  Nolee emotionally smiled in response as she nodded in agreement. Some of the weight felt lifted, things would be okay no matter what, they had to be.  
  
"That's it, we're gonna turn over a new leaf officially. I propose we have a girls night." Kira smiled proudly as Nolee looked at her questionably.  
  
"I don't mean going out of course," Kira sighed. "I mean a full on girls night. We'll binge on John Hughes movies, get pizza, and just enjoy each other's company. Screw men, we'll have fun by ourselves." Kira exclaimed confidently as Nolee giggled.  
  
"Can we get chunky monkey ice cream?" she replied childishly making Kira giggle this time.  
  
"We'll get whatever snacks your little prego heart desires."  
  
"You're the best." Nolee told her sincerely. "I know I might not show it, but I really do appreciate you Kira."  
  
"What are best friends for?" Kira replied equally sincere. "We'll forget about him."  
  
"What's all the yelling for? I can hear you guys all the way in the back." Cosmo chimed in as he walked up to the girls who looked each other nervously.  
  
"Umm...I'm just so happy that I don't have a UTI! Whew, it would've been all bad, I would've had stock up on cranberry juice. Uber painful, you're soooo lucky you're a male Cosmo." Kira replied dramatically as both girls nodded in fake enthusiasm.  
  
"W-what's a UTI?" Cosmo asked fearfully and so innocently.  
  
"Oh it's a urinary tract infection in a girl's va-"  
  
"Ok, you don't need to explain." Cosmo interjected blushing redder than a tomato. "If there's anymore deliveries let me know, otherwise I'll be in the back pretending that we didn't just have this conversation." Cosmo awkwardly responded. To say Cosmo wasn't very knowledgeable about women in general would be an understatement.  
  
"Okay." the girls replied in unison as Cosmo quickly scampered off. Both girls holding in their laughter until he disappeared.  
  
"God he is so easy to trick." Kira sighed.  
  
"I can't believe you really said UTI though."  
  
"Meh, it was the first thing to come to mind. But you have to admit the looks on his face are priceless."  
  
"That it is." Nolee agreed wholeheartedly.  
  
"So now that we know for sure there's indeed a living kicking life inside of you, when are we going to go shopping?"  
  
"Oh...yeah..." Nolee replied nervously. "I should probably start doing that huh?"  
  
"Have you bought anything at all yet...?" Kira asked concerned.  
  
"Not yet. I mean I've been mostly putting money away of course, but I thought I would wait until I knew the gender."  
  
"Makes sense, but just in case maybe we should start looking at things now, might catch some good sales." Kira reasoned pleased at her suggestion.  
  
"Whoa, way to sound like a parent." Nolee teased but couldn't deny Kira had a point.  
  
"Nah, I'm just a cheap ass."  
_____  
  
For the first time after their shifts ended Nolee was genuinely happy to have plans for once. Not really ever knowing of what it was like to have female friends and do actual girly things with them, this was all uncharted territory. But figuring it would help distract her long enough to forget about Murphy, she was all for it.  
  
"Okay, so go home and pack a bag then you can meet me back at my apartment. Then we can pick up some things from the market." Kira explained locking the door as Nolee smiled and nodded.  
  
"Sure thing. I'll try to be quick."  
  
"Take your time, there's no need to rush. If you want you can even spend the night."  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
"Great! I'll see you in a bit." Kira grinned giving her a hug before they went their separate ways. Nolee sighed calmly and instead of cringing at the cold air, she welcomed it. Feeling as is she now could look at things through a different lens, a glimmer of hope had been restored. No wallowing, no anxiety, she was determined to have a good time at Kira's.  
  
"Whatever I do, no more men. The next guy I see I'm pepper spraying him." Nolee joked to herself sardonically at her circumstances.  
  
Passing by the local Italian meat market and lost in her thoughts, Nolee was unaware of the figuring intercepting her path causing her to collide with the figure.  
  
"Christ on a cracker," a voice cried out as Nolee found it to be awfully familiar.  
  
"Rocco?" Nolee said surprised as she looked up at the shaggy hairy male.  
  
"Nolee!" Rocco replied equally surprised.  
  
"Oh, I didn't think you'd remember me."  
  
"Of course I'd remember you dear. How could I forget Betty Boop?" Rocco smiled making Nolee laugh. "What are you up to?"  
  
"Just on my way home, what about you?"  
  
"Oh I'm getting a sandwich for Pappa Joe."  
  
"Who's Pappa Joe?" Nolee asked curiously as the same frightened expression Rocco had at McGinty's appeared on his face.  
  
"Umm what? Did I say Pappa Joe? I umm meant someone else."  
  
"Okay...well that's nice of you to pick him up a sandwich. I hope he enjoys it." Nolee replied innocently.  
  
_"Yeah I hope he enjoys it too for my sake."_ Rocco mumbled under his breath.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Uhh nothing, I gotta get going. It was nice seeing you again Nolee, maybe I'll catch you around somewhere else?"  
  
"Yeah sure-"  
  
"Bye!" Rocco added quickly before walking off in a hurry.  
  
"He's so...random." Nolee whispered to herself as she watched him walk away. Seems like Boston was just determined to make her cross paths with all the peculiar people. Shaking her head she continued on her way home.  
  
Seeing her building come into view Nolee picked up her pace. Looking down and reaching for her keys inside her purse, she was unaware of the figure a few feet from her. When she looked back up she gasped almost dropping her keys. Looking in disbelief, the slight progress she managed to make these past couple days had now just derailed.  
  
"Murphy?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "T'en I guess we'll be crazy together."

"Murphy?" she whispered in shock. "W-what are you doing here?" she questioned as Murphy looked at her uneasy, noticing his twitchy hands. Quite the opposite of the usual calm and put together Murphy that would saunter into the coffee shop, he looked just as lost as she did.  
  
"I umm...wanted ta talk ta ye." he replied lowly.  
  
"About?" Nolee responded with even parts of curiosity and sarcasm. Murphy sighed as he shuffled on his feet.  
  
"Well I am...I wanted ta say t'at...I'm sorry for..." the Irish man was fumbling on his words horribly and Nolee furrowed her eyebrows noting his face turning redder and redder. "Oh fuck it." he huffed before suddenly pulling Nolee forwards and pushing his lips against hers. Nolee's eyes widened enormously at the intrusion. But feeling his soft lips again and the way his hands held her hips tenderly had prevented her from pulling away at first. Seeing the light this time, Nolee found the strength to push his body away from hers.  
  
"Murphy what the hell?" she gasped in shock.  
  
"Look I'm not ta greatest when it comes ta stuff like t'is okay?" Murphy replied. "I just...I wanted ta say that I don't care. It doesn't bother me." he added shrugging. Nolee stood frozen understanding what he meant.  
  
"It-it doesn't?" she stuttered still speechless.  
  
"No, it doesn't." Murphy confirmed shaking his head.  
  
"But...why?" she asked confused. Wasn't it funny how you could want certain things so badly and when they stare you right in the face, you have no absolutely no idea what to do with it?  
  
"I don't know why okay? I don't know what's going on wit' me. But it seems like ever since we crossed paths I can't seem ta get ye off me mind, it's like I'm drawn to ye."  
  
"Murphy I don't think you realize how serious this situation is-"  
  
"It doesn't matter." Murphy reiterated more firmly. "It's not gonna keep me away." he added slowly reaching out to place his hand on her stomach. Nolee shivered at the warm touch and stared at him incredulously. Hating how his touch had seemed to feel right, how his presence in general affected her like this.  
  
"This is crazy." she whispered once more in disbelief as her mind battled with her heart. All of this was absurd that was very obvious.  
  
"It is crazy." Murphy nodded in mutual agreement.  
  
"How can I trust you?" she questioned the part of her that was fearful at the thought of letting someone in.  
  
"I'm not runnin' for ta hills here what does t'at tell ye." he attempted to joke but she only frowned.  
  
"That's not comforting at all Murphy." she replied as he sighed.  
  
"Then ye just gonna have ta find a way lass, cause I'm not goin' anywhere." he stubbornly answered but smiled. Nolee swallowed the lump in her throat as he still kept his hand on her stomach. It scared the shit out of her to feel flutters in her stomach, but this time it wasn't from the baby.  
  
"What we're doing is crazy." she reiterated to him, mentally going through the millions ways why it was, but her moral compass was cracking by the second at the Irishman's smile.  
  
"T'en I guess we'll be crazy together."  
____  
  
And just like that the peculiar mint smelling tattooed Irish man with a rosary had went from temporary piece of furniture to semi permanent. Nolee was front and center but still felt like she was watching from the sidelines as her and Murphy unfolded. It was frightening and intriguing all at once to see another person inside of her apartment. The rest of the evening had pretty much involved her and Murphy bantering on about random things. Nolee still felt bad she basically bailed on girls night with Kira though.  
  
_"Umm hello, where are you...?" an annoyed Kira spoke over the phone as Nolee shuffled on her feet._

"Yeah about that..."

"Are you seriously skipping out on me?"

"I'm really sorry Kira...but it appears something has come up..." Nolee replied as she peeked her head out the kitchen at Murphy who was watching Law and Order.

"Oh really? What's so important about missing girls night with ME? I swear it better be because Freddie Prinze Jr is naked at your doorstep wearing only cowboy boots and holding a puppy."

"What honestly goes through your head?" Nolee questioned worriedly.

"You don't want to know, and hey! I'm not the one on trial here, answer my question woman!"

"Murphy-showed-up-at-my-door-step-and-basically-he's-okay-with-me-being-pregnant-so-now-he's-in-my-apartment." Nolee rambled quickly.

"Wait what the hell?!" Kira shouted as Nolee winced over the phone.

"I gotta go, I'll tell you everything later," Nolee assured.

"You're really gonna make me wait and suffer for details you heartless bitch?" Kira cried dramatically as Nolee rolled her eyes.

"I'll tell you all of it later I promise okay?! I love you, bye." Nolee huffed before hanging the phone back up on the wall.

"God that girl," she mumbled to herself unaware that Murphy's tall frame had appeared behind her.

"Ye got any other foods in here besides t'is healthy shit lass?" Murphy remarked looking into her fridge in distaste.

"What, does this differ greatly from your diet of peanuts and beer from the bar?" Nolee retorted.

"Wow, pretty bold of ye to assume t'at...but ye."

"Fine, we can order some take out."  
  
 Leading her back to now as the pair sat on her small couch eating chinese food, which turned out to be their first argument already. Murphy wanted pizza and she wanted the latter. It was today that Murphy learned the hard way that the  _"I'm currently growing eyeballs, what's your special power?"_ excuse would always triumph. Aside from that Nolee felt strangely comfortable with him beside her as they continued to joke around.  
  
"This is still ludicrous you know, I still don't even know much about you." Nolee noted as Murphy laughed a bit.  
  
"I'll tell ye anythin' you want te know." he smirked.  
  
"Well for starters, I don't even know your last name." Nolee pointed out.  
  
"It's MacManus lass." Murphy replied amused at her banter. "And yours?"  
  
"It's Wade."  
  
"Nolee Wade...a beautiful name for a beautiful girl."  
  
"Don't try to charm me mister, I'm trying to grill you here."  
  
"Now ye decide ta ask me questions? After ye already let me into ye apartment?" Murphy scoffed.  
  
"Cooperate. Now have you ever been in trouble with the law?"  
  
"Just a couple times back in Ireland when me and Connor were dumb young lads, nothin' too serious tho."  
  
"Okay...ever did drugs?"  
  
"Never, t'ink it's disgutin.'  
  
"Got any aspirations or goals?"  
  
"Just ta be a decent human being and make Connor's life hell."  
  
"Alrighty...how many girlfriends have you had?" Nolee inquired curiously.  
  
"Three in me life so far, and why do ye get to ask ta questions? What about me?" Murphy challenged.  
  
"Well what do you want to know?" Nolee asked nervously.  
  
"Ye got any family back home?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"What about ye parents? They okay with ye livin' here alone in Boston?" Murphy asked taking a bite of his food while she fidgeted in her seat thrown off by the question. A knot in her stomach formed in debate if she wanted to answer.  
  
"My dad wasn't around much and my mom...she died when I was younger." Nolee replied gently.  
  
"I'm sorry lass."  Murphy whispered embarrassed.  
  
"It's okay." she shrugged. "It was a long time ago."  
  
"Is it too soon to ask what happened with ye ex?" Murphy pondered and Nolee could see he was being careful about it. She did her best to not show the nausea now spreading through her, regretting deciding to ask him questions.  
  
"Very soon." she answered shortly. Murphy held up his hands in surrender.  
  
"I gotcha." he whispered noting the change in her. "How about t'is, we'll each ask a question and we'll answer at ta same time." he added in attempt to lighten the mood.  
  
"Fine, fair enough." Nolee answered softly as Murphy smiled.  
  
"Ye favorite color?" Murphy asked.  
  
_"Lilac." "Gray." they both said._  
  
"Your birthday?" Nolee questioned.  
  
_"August 13th." "June 25th, I came out first I swear."_  
  
"Ye favorite movie?"  
__  
"Steel Magnolias." "Ghostbusters."  
  
"Cats or dogs?"  
  
"Cats." "Both."  
  
"Pancakes or waffles?"  
__  
"Waffles.""Pancakes."  
"Mm, I'm afraid that's strike one lass." Murphy frowned as Nolee scoffed.  
  
"Really? Waffles are _waaaay_ better than pancakes."  
  
"Not even close but ye can dream."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"A food you would never eat?"  
  
_"Black licorice" "Anchovies"_  
  
"Now ye just bein' disrespectful." Murphy lamented as Nolee gagged.  
  
"It's so gross, how do you like that?"  
  
"It's delicious are ye mad?"  
  
"No, I actually just have taste."  
  
"Ouch, ye breakin' me heart lass."  
___  
  
As the random questions continued on, the more Nolee and Murphy clashed on the answers, causing both to realize they may have just met their match in stubbornness.  
  
"Alright, what's ye favorite candy?"  
  
_"Payday."_ they both said in unison, surprise and amusement spread onto both their faces.  
  
"Well finally sometin' we agree on."  
  
"Figures it's only on candy." Nolee retorted as they both laid back on the couch.  
  
"Can I ask ye a serious question? This may be a deal breaker though..." Murphy inquired as he took her hand gently. Nolee looked at him nervously but nodded. He leaned in closer to her face and her brown eyes stared directly at his icy blues. She shivered slightly in anticipation.  
  
"Are ye against pineapple on pizza?" he whispered.  
  
"Yes...?" Nolee answered confused as Murphy sighed in relief.  
  
"Alright good, ye passed ta test lass. I'll stay."  
  
"Really? That was your major question for me to decide if you want to be involved with me? Nothing more in depth?" Nolee retorted in astonishment.  
  
"What I needed ta make sure ye aren't some sicko. Can't trust some people nowadays Miss Wade."  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think I'm starting to regret this."  
  
"Oh ye?" Murphy replied raising an eyebrow before grabbing Nolee by the chin gently and kissing her sweetly.  
  
_'Goddamn it.'_ she scolded herself. _'How did he get me again?'_ she thought as he pulled away.  
  
"Still feel ta same?" he asked smirk still in place.  
  
"That's not going to work all the time you know..." she whispered shakily.  
  
"We'll see about t'at won't we?" he winked before shifting himself on the couch so that he was able to wrap his arms around the small girl and her head leaned against his chest. The action surprised her and temporarily her guard flared up, but when he only sighed comfortably and nothing more, she was able to relax at his touch.  
  
"So...how far along are you exactly?" he asked curiously while she did the math in her head, never quite remembering it on cue.  
  
"Umm...5 months now. They say I'm due around the first week of March."  
  
"Aye, how 'bout that. Do ye know what ye havin?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"Any preference?"  
  
"Doesn't matter to me, just healthy."  
  
"Good answer."  
  
"That reminds me," Nolee whispered to herself. "I have my doctor's appointment coming up soon...I'm supposed to be able to find out the gender. I'm a little scared though, do you think...you could come with me? Just for a little support, Kira might not be able to get the time off, but I mean you don't have to if you don't-"  
  
"Hey," Murphy interjected her rambling as she stopped and looked at him.  
  
"Of course I will." he assured her and touched her cheek with his thumb as she blushed.  
  
"Thank you." she replied sincerely.  
  
"Don't have ta thank me love." he answered kindly before looking at the clock on the wall. "It's pretty late tho, maybe I should get goin' before Connor has a cow." he sighed as he stood up. Nolee frowned a bit to see him go but nodded in understanding.  
  
"I'll call you later tho?" he said sliding his black coat on.  
  
"Yeah sure." she answered standing up to walk him to the door. When they reached it, Murphy turned to kiss her once again catching her off guard.  
  
"Goodnight lass, sweet dreams." he whispered into her ear while she did her best not to shiver at the sensation. "You too wee little one," he added rubbing his hand on her stomach lightly before pulling away, missing the kick that was shortly delivered after.  
  
"Goodnight." she told him shyly. He waved goodbye and Nolee watched him disappear out of the building. She walked back inside and slowly closed the door, exhaling a deep breath as she tried to process all that just occured. These curveballs were making it hard to catch her breath.  
  
"Man oh man," she whispered putting a hand on her stomach.  Her mind instantly shifting back to Murphy. Her lips had still tingled from his kiss and his scent still lingered around the door. Her mind replaying everything that had transpired from him first coming into the shop to this very moment. As her mind raced about him another kick jabbed against her hand.  
  
"Do you like him?" she whispered looking down at her bump. A few seconds another swift kick occurred making her smile and sigh. She knew she was definitely trouble now...  
  
Damn that Irish man and his kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit I totally made up the brothers' birthdays sorry.


	13. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's called having faith, love."

"Well...this is it. No more hiding." Nolee groaned as the reflection staring back at her, the lucky streak she previously held record of was officially dead. Deciding it was time to show off, her bump was now more solid and obvious, she could no longer chalk it up to period bloat. The realization of this sent shivers up her spine, she knew it was moot to keep putting it off. She had to come clean and that was that.  
  
"At least I don't feel as sick as I used to. Just have to pee a lot," she mumbled in attempt to look at the bright side of the situation. Starting her normal morning routine she dressed herself and fixed the rat's nest that was her hair. When she finally felt presentable she walked to her kitchen and made some oatmeal and fruit. It felt very strange to her since normally this time of the morning she'd spend majority of the time puking her guts out, but in this moment she actually seemed to have an appetite. She prayed it would last and maybe just maybe, she could start to enjoy breakfast again.  
  
"Damn, I have to pee." she groaned temporarily forgetting the other obnoxious symptom still plaguing her. Relieving her bladder and applying a quick coat of cherry chapstick she deemed herself ready to go work. As she slid on her coat and scarf, a knock erupted from her front door. She glanced on the clock and shook her head. __

_'Right on time.'  
_  
She sighed as she opened door and an amused smile spread over her face.  
  
"You know you really don't have to walk me to work." she insisted once more looking up at Murphy still not used to seeing him show up at her door. Her feelings still shook up since he first spent the evening in her apartment. So naturally she was even more surprised to find him back the very next day to walk her to work. Soon another routine had seem to be created before her eyes.  
  
"What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't?" he replied hoarsely while Nolee bit her lip in attempt to not admit to herself that hearing his tired voice was...charming. She found it amusing staring at him standing there with his coat and jeans. His hair was slightly messy and his blue eyes weren't as alert as they normally were. Giving the indication that Murphy MacManus was indeed not a morning person, who would've thought?  
  
"But it makes you have to get up a little earlier doesn't it?" she replied noting that it wasn't much of a journey for her to get to Cosmo's but Murphy had to travel further to the meat packing plant.  
  
"I don't mind lass," he insisted. She smiled back at him but inside she felt guilt at him sacrificing some extra sleep just to make sure she got to work. The gesture was kind and she felt grateful for it,  but all of this was still very foreign to her. Perhaps it was going to take some time to get used to seeing him so much on this level.  
  
"Well thank you." she told him sincerely as she grabbed her purse and both of them headed out of her apartment. As they reached the sidewalk to the city, she fumbled with her hands. It was definitely weirder to have someone beside her in the morning when she had gotten used to walking by herself to Cosmo's, but in a strange way the company was nice.  
  
"Wow, ye weren't kiddin' about havin' a bun in ye oven." Murphy noted staring at her stomach as she involuntarily covered her bump with her arms suddenly feeling self-conscious that maybe her bump was even bigger than she thought. Murphy noted her reaction and reached out his hand to touch her arm. "I'm just teasin' love, I'm not tryin' ta be an ass. Just still a little surprisin' ta see ye with a bump is all."  
  
"Well, I feel huge already." she lamented wrapping her coat around her.  
  
"Ye aren't huge, ye look beautiful lass." Murphy assured her while making her blush in the process.  
  
"Umm thank you," she responded shyly at the compliment. "So, Connor doesn't mind you leaving him by himself?"  
  
"He's a big boy he can manage. Besides we usually go ta mornin' mass on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays together." Murphy explained.  
  
"Do you always go in the mornings?"  
  
"For ta most part." Murphy replied with a nod. Nolee watched him carefully while they walked. He seemed a bit off more than usual, like he was trying to distract himself almost. His hands were also fidgeting against his jeans hurriedly.  
  
"Are you okay?" she questioned curiously as he turned his direction back to her and blushed.  
  
"Oh ye, it's just t'at usually about now I have a cigarette."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"And I realized it's probably not a good idea ta smoke in front ye anymore. If I had known beforehand, I wouldn't have done it." Murphy clarified as she looked down embarrassed.  
  
"I'm sorry." she whispered still feeling some guilt about not telling him.  
  
"That wasn't a dig at ye Nolee. I just wanted ye ta know I'll do me best ta not smoke around ye. I know it's not good for ta wee little one."  
  
 _'Wee little one,'_ she repeated inside her head, finding it intriguing when he said that.  
  
"I appreciate that." she responded gratefully as he nodded. Crossing the street the coffee shop began to come into view and Nolee's nerves were tight again at having to face Cosmo.  
  
"So I'll meet ye here at me usual time t'en?" Murphy told her as they reached the store's doors. Breaking her thoughts up, Nolee looked at him furrowing her eyebrows.  
  
"Huh? What for?" she asked confused.  
  
"Ye doctor's appointment is today remember? Ye still wanted me to go with ye right?" Murphy questioned as her face temporarily became pale. She had been so caught up with worrying about Cosmo she totally forgot about her doctor's appointment.  
  
"Oh yeah, I totally spaced."  
  
"Ye really forgot your own appointment?" Murphy teased as she bit her lip and nodded.  
  
"Well I kind of had other things on my mind."  
  
"Oh ye? Like what?" he inquired curiously.  
  
"Well...I haven't exactly told Cosmo I'm pregnant either." she confessed as he raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Mm, were ye just determined ta keep this a secret until ta baby pops out?" he smirked as she lightly glared at him.  
  
"It's not like that,"  
  
"Why ye so nervous about tellin' people anyways?"  
  
"I don't know," she exclaimed with a shrug. "It's just something I can't freely say to people. Maybe I'm scared of the judgment."  
  
"Why would ye be judged?" Murphy asked confused.  
  
"I'm a stereotypical single mom living on her own, you do the math."  
  
"So what? Lots of people do it, t'at doesn't mean you should be looked down on."  
  
"I wish more people saw it that way, but they don't."  
  
"Well ta hell with ta fuckers t'at pass judgment on ye. I mean, our Ma did it and look how amazin' I turned out? Connor, not so much." Murphy joked, involuntarily making her giggle as she put a hand to her mouth.  
  
"Yeah, you're a model citizen Murphy."  
  
"I try." he replied shrugging modestly as she rolled her eyes. "Don't worry so much tho, I'm sure ye boss isn't gonna care."  
  
"I just get scared at the thought of losing my job. I really need it obviously." she feared as he reached out to hold her hand.  
  
"It'll be fine, just be honest. I'll be here to pick ye up later okay?" he assured giving her hand a squeeze.  
  
"Okay." she answered softly appreciating the gesture and how it helped her nerves a bit.  
  
"I'll see ye later." he added letting go of her hand and sliding his sunglasses on.  
  
"Bye." she waved lightly while he leaned into kiss her cheek.  
  
"Bye." he repeated giving her a smile before walking off. Nolee sighed as she geared herself up and walked into the coffee shop.  
  
"Holy mama!" Kira exclaimed as she watched the smaller girl walk in. "How's it going pumpkin smuggler?"  
  
"Great, you too?" Nolee lamented feeling further self conscious that her suspicions were being confirmed.  
  
"Oh come on, you look adorable! Come here, let me rub it." Kira beamed as her fingers danced excitedly. Nolee rolled her eyes as the taller girl moved her hands around her bump making her slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"What are you a DJ, calm down." Nolee retorted as the other girl stuck her tongue out childishly.  
  
"I'm being a proud aunt over here, don't kill my glory."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"As you should be."  
  
"Is Cosmo in yet? I need to to talk him," Nolee asked nervously as Kira widened her eyes.  
  
"Oh shit." she replied knowingly. "Yeah, he's in the back."  
  
"Great." Nolee frowned as she sighed once more. "If I don't make it, I just want you to know making fun of customers with you was an honor."  
  
"Go forth my child." Kira whispered in solidarity. Nolee nodded bravely and made her way to the back room. Nervously she knocked on the door hearing various items scatter everywhere.  
  
"Come in." Cosmo finally spoke as she twisted the doorknob, her eyes narrowing at the many vials of liquids Cosmo was messing around with now. Lord only knows what flavor they'd be introducing next.  
  
"Ahh Nolee, what is it hon?" he spoke when he noticed her presence.  
  
"Cosmo, I umm have to tell you something?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well...it appears that I'm 5 months pregnant." Nolee explained gently holding her hands out.  
  
"Yeah...so?" Cosmo replied shrugging.  
  
"I just thought I should let you know..."  
  
"Well I already knew."  
  
"Wait, you did?" Nolee asked shocked as he nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I thought everyone knew."  
  
"Who told you...?" she asked carefully as he scoffed.  
  
"Nobody told me, no one needs to tell me, I mean look at you." Cosmo replied motioning to her stomach. "What you thought I'd think you went and got fat? Kinda obvious with your many bathroom trips Miss Wade." Cosmo replied raising an eyebrow as her face flushed with embarrassment.  
  
"I'm sorry." she whispered as he shook his head.  
  
"Truth be told Nolee, as long as you can serve coffee and refill the muffin trays I don't care if you give birth doing it. Well actually try not give birth here at the shop, you know sanitary issues and what not."  
  
"I'll try my best sir." Nolee responded awkwardly as Cosmo laughed slightly.  
  
"You know I may not know a lot about women, but I wouldn't ever fire someone for being pregnant, I'm not a monster."  
  
"I appreciate it Cosmo really. I promise I won't let it interfere with my work."  
  
"Good to hear, is there anything else?"  
  
"No. That's all." she replied with relief.  
  
"Great, now that we've cleared that up, I need you to get back to work." he replied curtly but giving her a wink.  
  
"Yes sir." Nolee smiled as she turned on her heels and walked back to the counter to where Kira waited anxiously.  
  
"Well?!"  
  
"I'm not fired." Nolee smiled as Kira gasped clapping her hands.  
  
"See I told you." Kira replied smugly as Nolee waved hand dismissively, choosing not to mention Cosmo somehow already knowing.  
  
"Yeah, yeah."  
  
"I'm still bummed I can't make it to your appointment though. I'm really sorry."  
  
"Oh that's okay, Murphy was going to take me anyways."  
  
"Wait... **Murphy** is taking you?" Kira asked shocked as the small girl nodded.  
  
"Yeah, what?"  
  
"Oh nothing. I'm just waiting casually for you to admit that I was right." Kira shrugged staring at her fingernails.  
  
"Right about what?" Nolee grumbled.  
  
"That this man is managing to chip away the ice around your heart."  
  
"Rude much?"  
  
"You know what I mean, he's breaking your walls down Nolee."  
  
"God not this again Kira."  
  
"It's true stop denying it! You're both smitten with each other." Kira declared pointing her index finger.  
  
"We...I don't know what we are yet..."  
  
"If he's still willing to come around you AND come to your appointments with you, he's obviously committed." Kira noted impressed.  
  
"Even if he is, I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket yet."  
  
"Just don't screw it up okay?" Kira sighed in annoyance. "Just let things unfold, don't fight it too much."  
  
"Whatever you say Kira."  
______  
  
The remainder of the day had been spent trying to avoid Kira and her never ending lectures. Nolee rolled her eyes as she mostly blocked out the taller brunette and focused on work. Kira was far too in depth than Nolee was ready for right now. Eventually Kira brought herself back to earth and cooled it on the noble Murphy crusade.  
  
"I wish you would just let me do a gender reveal. We can make those adorable cupcakes."  
  
"What's the point of those things anyways, it's unnecessary. Plus, it would just be me and you." Nolee replied confused.  
  
"AND your new baby daddy." Kira winked as Nolee grimaced.  
  
"I'm just gonna ignore that comment."  
  
"I'm calling it now, just watch."  
  
"If you don't stop talking, I will strangle you. I can plead **pregnancy insanity.** " Nolee warned holding up the tongs in her hand.  
  
"If you kill me then you'll have to deal with the annoying customers all by yourself so ha." Kira smirked.  
  
"It'd be worth it."  
  
"It's not fair, I want to see if you're having a boy like I think you are."  
  
"I might not even find out today, the baby could be uncooperative."  
  
"Still think it's a boy."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Nolee sighed, looking up as the door opened. She had to admit she never was happier to see Murphy walking in.  
  
"Hey lass, ye ready ta go?" Murphy smiled as he approached the counter.  
  
"Yeah, just let me get my things." she replied smiling back and undoing her apron before walking to the back. Murphy had no choice but to stand awkwardly waiting while being under Kira's scrutiny.  
  
"So...you're the one taking my place today?" she questioned raising her eyebrow.  
  
"Well, Nolee asked me ta accompany me her and I said I would. Apologies if I'm stepping on ye toes."  
  
"Well as the adopted auntie, I'm a little bitter...but I'll let you slide this time." Kira replied civilly as Murphy bowed slightly.  
  
"Thank you aunt."  
  
"You better take good care of her." Kira told him firmly the humor in her voice fading as she stared the Irish man head on. Murphy stared back at the protective friend carefully but nodded.  
  
"I promise I will." Murphy assured.  
  
"I'm not afraid to go to jail."  
  
"Understandable and duly noted lass."  
  
"Then we're good." Kira smiled as Nolee came back sliding on her coat.  
  
"Ready to go?" she asked looking at Murphy who nodded.  
  
"Lead the way love."  
  
"I'll call you later with all the details okay?" Nolee assured the other girl as she gave her a hug.  
  
"Can't wait. Good luck." Kira smiled as she gave a wave watching the pair walk off. Nolee sighed a breath of relief once the fresh air hit her face, happy to get away from the shop momentarily.  
  
"So are ye fired?" Murphy teased as she shook her head happily.  
  
"No, Cosmo didn't get mad."  
  
"I told ye it'd be fine didn't I?"  
  
"Yeah, you did." Nolee admitted as he smirked in victory.  
  
"Ye smell like muffins, I'm kind of diggin' it."  Murphy noted in seriousness while she giggled when they walked to the subway entrance. As she prepared to take a step Murphy quickly stopped her.  
  
"Whoa t'ere lass, let me help ye." Murphy exclaimed grabbing a hold of her hand.  
  
"I can handle walking down the stairs Murphy." she assured him as he looked at her uneasy.  
  
"Ye got precious cargo now, gotta be careful around stairs, just let me help ye."  
  
"Okay," Nolee gave in and allowed the Irishman to help her down the stairs. As much as the independent part of her was annoyed, the other half had found it adorable at his protectiveness she wouldn't fight him this time as he helped her into her seat. Her nerves began to pick up as she sat there anxiously waiting for the train to take off and thinking about her appointment.  
  
"Ye nervous?" Murphy asked noticing her fidgeting.  
  
"Yeah." she admitted with a nod.  
  
"Ye having a girl." was all he replied with as she looked at him surprised.  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"Just have a feelin.' Murphy explained with a shrug as she bit her lip but remained silent, the train beginning to move away from the platform. Murphy had made small conversation with her even though he talked about someone getting their hand stuck in the meat grinder at the meat packing plant while she listened in horror. Thankfully before the nausea kicked in, the train had finally stopped and both of them stepped off, Murphy once again helping her up the stairs. Nolee nervously opened the door to the doctor's office and signing herself before sitting down once more. Murphy's eyes curiously looked around the office and Nolee laughed inside noticing the awkwardness that was radiating from him when he realized he was the only male in a room of pregnant females.  
  
"Are you okay?" she teased while he shifted in his seat but nodded his head.  
  
"I'm fine." he replied crossing his arms while they waited. Cindy the nurse finally appeared calling Nolee back as she poked Murphy in the shoulder. Bringing them back in the room she did the necessary check ups before she gave Nolee the gown to change into. She stared at Murphy nervously, suddenly wishing Kira was there instead.  
  
"Look away." she whispered shyly as he held his hands up and obliged. Quickly changing into the gown she sat down on the bed checking periodically to see if he was peeking. "Okay you can look now." she told Murphy who rolled his eyes but stood beside her.  
  
"Aye, no need for ta formalities lass." Murphy smirked as she glared at him. Staring at the different anatomy modules in confusion and horror she saw Murphy cringe.  
  
 _"Ta fuck?"_ he whispered to himself as she giggled inside thinking it was actually amusing have him here.  
  
"Miss Wade." Doctor Garcia spoke suddenly entering the room. "Good to see you again, and oh you brought your boyfriend." she smiled as Nolee shifted her eyes to Murphy both of them blushing.  
  
"Well he's uhh...we're umm...his name is Murphy." Nolee explained as Doctor Garcia eyed them strangely but nodded.  
  
"Okay, nice to meet you Murphy."  
  
"Likewise Doc." Murphy replied lifting a hand up.  
  
"Anything I should know?" Doctor Garcia questioned as Nolee's eyes widened.  
  
"What do you mean?" she replied nervously.  
  
"Symptoms, Miss Wade." Doctor Garcia clarified. "Any concerns you want to mention?"  
  
"Oh, um I don't think so."  
  
"You're weight went up slightly which is a good thing. Blood pressure is okay, and your blood tests came back all clear." Doctor Garcia smiled. "Let's measure once more and check on that little bean of yours, you did make sure to drink the required liquid amount for today correct?"  
  
"Yes, I'm very close to peeing myself." Nolee answered while Murphy snickered holding a hand over his mouth as she lied back on the table in anticipation. Doctor Garcia measured her stomach fairly quickly as Murphy watched in curiosity.  
  
"Measuring on time as usual." Doctor Garcia smiled before getting the ultrasound machine ready. Applying a thick of the jelly over the piece she rubbed it gently over Nolee's stomach. The image on the screen slowly coming into focus.  
  
"Mm, little bean isn't shy today." Doctor Garcia smiled as she pointed to the screen before studying the image closely. "Baby's on track, heartbeat is 150, other organs are looking developed."  
  
"Wow." Murphy whispered aloud staring at the screen amazed as Nolee looked up at him and bit her lip.  
  
"Wait, is t'at ta ye know what? It's big." Murphy noted impressed as Doctor Garcia squinted her eyes.  
  
"That's the foot actually."  
  
"Oh." he whispered, this time it what Nolee's turn to snicker.  
  
"That's okay Murphy, it's not always easy to tell. However...just after I get the little one to move over a tad, I can tell you the gender. Do we want to know?"  
  
"I think so..." Nolee whispered nervously looking up at Murphy who shrugged. A simple question seemed so intense.  
  
"It's up to you." Murphy whispered to her as she inhaled a deep breath but nodded.  
  
"Okay, I want to know."  
  
"Congratulations Miss Wade, it's a girl." Doctor Garcia smiled as she gasped in shock looking back at up at Murphy.  
  
"It is?"  
  
"It is. You are having a girl Miss Wade."  
  
"A wee little girl, imagine t'at." Murphy smirked looking down at the small girl who was mystified.  
  
"Overall little miss is healthy and looks to be thriving. Now that you're at this point and doing fine, you won't need to see me for a while until you're in the third trimester, or unless there's an emergency. Otherwise, keep up what you're doing and I'll see you next time. As always I'll give you some pictures to take home."  
  
"Okay, thank you." Nolee whispered still in shock.  
  
"Here you go. You two have a good evening and congratulations." Doctor Garcia replied giving a wink before walking out.  
  
"So, what did I tell ye?" Murphy smirked leaning down into Nolee's face.  
  
"How did you know?" Nolee replied amazed looking him in the eyes.  
  
"Ye should probably know this now lass, I tend ta always be right."  
_____  
  
After the appointment was over and Nolee was allowed to get dressed, her and Murphy left the office. But instead of heading back home, Nolee felt the urge to keep walking. A million thoughts went through her mind and right now she just wanted a place to think. Murphy didn't object and allowed her to lead the way, her feet bringing her back to the riverfront. She inhaled deep breaths and watched the waves softly ripple, closing her eyes and focusing on its sound and birds chirping nearby.  
 _  
'A girl. I'm having a girl.'_  she whispered in her mind still trying to comprehend it, not entirely sure she was prepared for a girl. Having it be official, the paranoid thoughts had begun to creep up on her.  
  
 _'What would Tristan do if he knew it was a girl? Would he try to hurt her?'_  
  
 _'What if she grows up to make the mistakes I did?_  
  
 _'What if I can't protect her?'_  
  
 _'What if I fuck this up?'_  
  
 _'What if...'_  
  
"Nolee?" Murphy's voice interrupted her thoughts as she snapped her head up. "Are you okay?" he asked concerned while she shook the thoughts away and coughed.  
  
"I'm fine. Sorry, I sort of drifted off." she replied keeping her gaze on the water.  
  
"Are ye scared, now t'at ye know?" Murphy questioned while she nodded slowly.  
  
"Very." she whispered.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I never thought I'd actually have a girl of my own. I never thought I'd have a kid on my own in general. I'm scared I'll mess up."  
  
"It'll all be fine, don't t'ink like t'at. Look on the bright side,"  
  
"What's that?" Nolee asked curiously.  
  
"She's bound ta be pretty like her Ma." Murphy replied with a wink.  
  
"You're just sayin' that." Nolee mumbled.  
  
"I'm certainly not." Murphy assured pulling her into his arms swiftly surprising her as his hands held her lower back in support. Contrasting against the cold wind his warm touch felt nice against her back.  
  
"Thank you for coming with me again, even if it was awkward." she noted as he laughed.  
  
"What did I tell ye before lass, ye don't have ta thank me."  
  
"Yeah, but I do appreciate it." Nolee reasoned back quietly. Last thing she had ever expected was to have a guy beside her at appointments, let alone a guy in general.  
  
"Ye shouldn't be nervous anyways, ye should be celebrating.' It's a beautiful t'ing." Murphy stated while she tried to get herself to agree. But what exactly was there to celebrate?  
  
"I suppose." she replied shrugging still indifferent, it would take some adjusting like everything else  
.  
"Everythin' will be okay I promise." Murphy assured.  
  
"How can you promise that?" she challenged staring into his eyes skeptically as he shrugged in agreement.  
  
"Maybe I can, maybe I can't. But I _can_ guarantee you one t'ing: you don't have ta do t'is alone. You have Kira, and you have me." he assured taking her hand in his. Nolee stared down at his fingers interlaced with hers the "AEQUITAS" tattoo exposed. As much as his fingers felt right holding hers, she would take his words with a grain of salt. Because after all she had learned, promises weren't as meaningful as you were led to believe.  
  
"And you're honestly comfortable with this, none of this is weird to you?"  
  
"In hindsight, a little bit I'll admit. But aren't ta weird parts usually ta best parts?" Murphy mused.  
  
"I have no idea." Nolee shrugged.  
  
"It's called havin' faith, love." Murphy stated raising an eyebrow.  
  
"You might need to show me how." Nolee whispered truthfully. Murphy only smiled before leaning down to kiss her.  
  
"T'at I can do." he answered when he pulled back making her smile lightly in response. "And for ta record Miss Wade, us Irish always keep our promises." he added with a smirk.  
  
"We'll see about that."  
  
"But ye know lass, we _are_ going ta have ta fill Connor in on all t'is." Murphy sighed running a hand through his hair as she bit her lip. To her chagrin, she knew he was right but the whole idea made her uneasy. She wasn't sure if she was prepared to see Connor again, especially how he was with her on Halloween, she couldn't imagine how he'd react seeing her now.  
  
"Okay." she eventually answered knowing it was pointless to object, they were twins after all. Murphy gave her hand another squeeze comfortingly. This time both of them stared at each other with the same nervous expression.  
  
This time both of them seemed to know that now there was indeed no turning back.


	14. Connor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh my god! You guys have been robbed!"

_"I'm so late!" Nolee begin to panic as she quickly walked up the steps to the high school attempting to beat the bell before it would ring. Spending the majority of her night studying for her chemistry quiz, she accidentally overslept. As she lifted her foot to the last step she was unaware of the banana peel making her foot slide backwards and causing her to trip. A loud squeal escaping her mouth as her books went flying in front her while her hands collided with the cement harshly._  
  
_"What the hell!" she cursed as she lifted herself from the cement and soothed her now scratched up hands. Looking at the books in front of her she sighed and shook her head. She was never once to be graceful, clumsiness was her specialty._  
  
_"Uhh you need some help there?" a voice suddenly spoke as she quickly lifted her head up. Her eyes widened largely at the boy before her. Almost sure she had never seen him before, his face was captivating. Contoured with beige creamy skin his eyes were like chocolate orbs complete with long lashes. Her heart skipped a beat at the immaculate jawline he had, he could easily be mistaken for a Calvin Klein model. His brown hair was cropped perfectly over his head. He definitely didn't look like the other guys at her high school._  
  
_"Hello?" he asked waving his fingers awkwardly but laughing as she realized he caught her staring. Immediately her cheeks red while she attempted to compose herself._  
  
_"Oh um, sure." she whispered as he nodded and helped her pick up her books. "Thank you." she added as he handed her the algebra textbook._  
  
_"It's no problem." he assured with another smile flashing a set of perfectly straight white teeth. "What an asshole banana peel just attacking you like that." he joked further making her face flushed but managing to elicit a giggle from the small girl._  
  
_"Yeah." she answered awkwardly._  
  
_"I'm Tristan." he added introducing himself and extending his muscular hand to shake. Nolee hesitated putting her hand in his for a moment, but then softly shook it._  
  
_"I'm Nolee."_  
  
_"I'm new here, today's my first day."_  
  
_"Oh, where are you from?" she inquired curiously noting her suspicions were correct._  
  
_"Nebraska." he answered nervously._  
  
_"Interesting. What brings you to Phoenix?"_  
  
_"My dad's job relocated him here." Tristan explained with a slight shrug._  
  
_"Oh okay." she replied nodding her head. "Well I hope you like it here." she smiled and adjusted her backpack preparing to continue on with her walk before she was even later._  
  
_"Umm if you don't mind, can you tell me where room 402 is? I'm still learning my way around." Tristan asked embarrassed as her body perked up._  
  
_"That's actually where I'm headed. That's chemistry with Mr. Bates."_  
  
_"Oh, guess I'm quite lucky then." Tristan smirked making the small girl's stomach flutter. There was something about him that was intriguing and that made her extremely nervous._  
  
_"Well follow me then." she replied kindly as he turned his hand out and grinned._  
  
_"Lead the way darlin.'_  
____  
  
A loud boom erupted in the air quickly followed by a car horn blaring. Several voices began to shout manically waking Nolee from her slumber as she groaned.  
  
"Goddamn it." she cursed to herself. "Can never get to sleep in on the weekends." she added bitterly looking at the alarm clock on the dresser next to her that read nine o'clock exactly. She sat up slowly and exhaled a deep breath. Her mind going back to the previous moment of her dream. An unnerving feeling bubbled in her stomach as well as resentment. She hated the dreams she still had and she didn't know what was worse: remembering the present or how things used to be. If only she had missed school that day.  
  
"Well since I'm wide awake now, might as well get up." she grumbled sarcastically. Putting one hand on her stomach she carefully slid her feet on the floor. Already it was a challenge to get out of her bed with her bump. Pursing her lips she studied her body for a moment before shrugging. Still not feeling sick decided to take advantage of the moment and clean.  
  
"Might as well do it now while I'm feeling good, lord knows the last time I did laundry." she whispered to herself as she sighed once more and walk towards the other dresser. Turning the little radio on, the sound of Zombie by The Cranberries filled the room. Pleased, Nolee began to tidy up the apartment. First sorting out her laundry she seperated the clean and dirty items into two piles. After she rummaged through old papers and unimportant items that needed to be discarded. Bagging the trash up she slid on her slippers and made her way outside the apartment complex to the side where the large receptacles were. When she got back inside she groaned when she realized the dishes sitting in the sink.  
  
"Really shows how much pregnancy drains you." she retorted to herself. Having been sick majority of the time her desire to clean was almost non existent till now. When the dishes were finished and giving the kitchen some TLC, Nolee stood back and shrugged. It was definitely an improvement from the previous condition. Having some energy gained back Nolee savored the moment of feeling good for once.  
  
"Since I'm on a roll, might as well make us a good brunch, how's that sound... _little girl?"_ she asked looking down at her stomach still getting used to the idea that was she carrying a girl. Feeling around her stomach in search of a kick, there was no response after prodding for several moments.  
  
"Must've put you to sleep by me moving around so much. I know, this is shocking for both of us." she mused and carried on with making something to eat. As the song changed her hips involuntarily began to sway along to the beat while she sang along.  
  
_'It was long ago  
Seems like yesterday  
Saw you standing in the rain  
Then I heard you say..._  
Nolee sung still swaying her hips more passionately, unable to hear the knocks coming from her door. Still distracted from making her sandwich she was unaware of the sneaky Murphy creeping through the door. A curious look spread across his face as he watched the small girl dance. The curiosity had shifted to pure amusement.  
_  
'I want to love, but it comes out wrong  
I want to live, but I don't belong  
I close my eyes and I see blood and roses_

 _Wild flowers in the springtime  
October we were wed  
In the winter the roses died  
Her blood ran cold and then she said..."_  
  
A familiar giggle interrupted her trance and she immediately turned to the noise. Jumping back and almost dropping her sandwich when she realized Murphy was standing there grinning at her like a fool.  
  
"How the hell did you get in my apartment?!" she gasped placing a hand over heart to stop the rapid beating.  
  
"I knocked first lass," Murphy assured holding his hands up. "Besides, ye door was open. Might want ta make sure ta lock it." he retorted. Nolee stared back at him in confusion, she was sure the door had...  
_  
'Crap, I forgot to lock it when I came back from taking out the trash! Damn the pregnancy brain is already starting.'_  
"I'll have you know I do lock it majority of the time, and what are you even doing here anyways?" she questioned.  
  
"Well I was bored and wanted ta come by and see what ye were doing. I can say I'm definitely not disappointed." he teased as she flushed in embarrassment. "Please, don't stop ta show on my account."  
  
"You can't just sneak in on me like that Murphy," she scolded him in annoyance.  
  
"I'm sorry lass I didn't mean ta scare ye, guess ye couldn't hear me knockin' over ta music." he mused walking over to where she stood and kissing her cheek. "Ye adorable." he whispered into her ear as she blushed even further.  
  
"You came all this way just to see what I was up to?" she questioned raising an eyebrow as Murphy shifted on his feet.  
  
"Well, I also thought we could talk ta to Connor today." he explained lowly making Nolee bite her lip nervously at Murphy wasting no time. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to be around Connor especially in her condition now. She didn't know how he'd react, and judging from the brothers' affection towards each other it was obvious they were close.  
  
"Are you sure that's a good idea though?" she asked worriedly.  
  
"I don't know, but it's sort of inevitable at t'is point lass. Connor catches onto t'ings pretty quickly, might as well get it over with." Murphy reasoned but she felt immense pressure building up, a sign that things between her and Murphy were really starting to pick up.  
  
"I'm a little nervous Murphy." she admitted twiddling her fingers.  
  
"I understand Nolee, but I can't exactly keep t'is from me brudder." he reasoned once more. Nolee slowly exhaled a deep breath in dismay but nodded her head.  
  
"Okay, we can go. Just let me shower real fast." she replied making a step towards her bedroom but Murphy had grabbed a hold of her waist preventing her from moving any further. She looked up to find him eyeing her expectantly.  
  
"I want me kiss first." he demanded pressing his lips against hers softly making her melt into his embrace. She was almost disappointed when he had been the one to pull away first.  
  
"Okay, now ye can go." he smirked while she only blushed and turned on her heels in direction of her bathroom. Taking a quick shower and rinsing off the sweat she had from cleaning, Nolee savored the warm spray washing over her. When she finished she wrapped a towel around herself and dried her hair. Walking back into her bedroom she noticed Murphy on her bed watching television. His direction shifted to her, his blue eyes widening at the sight before him. A goofy grin plastered on his face made her raise her eyebrow.  
  
"Nice try, mister. Let me get changed, _alone._ " she told him firmly as he sighed sadly.  
  
"Not even a little peek?"  
  
"Murphy-" she warned as he held his hands up surrendering.  
  
"I was just kiddin' lass, don't kick my arse," he pleaded as a smile formed from her lips watching him get up and walk out the room. Grabbing undergarments and her trusty pair of black leggings she slid them on happily. Followed by a long sleeved gray tunic that just barely reached past her belly, Nolee groaned in dismay.  
  
"Great, I'll need to shop for new clothes soon." she whispered sadly sliding her flats on. Figuring she should at least make some effort today face wise, she applied a small amount of make up before throwing her hair up into a messy bun. Shrugging at her reflection she deemed herself presentable and walked out the room to meet Murphy who was waiting by the counter, his fingers tapping along to the beat of I Think I'm Paranoid.  
  
"Okay, I'm ready." she told him sliding on her peacoat as he looked up at her and smiled before turning off the radio.  
  
"Let's go t'en."  
___  
  
  
"And did ye know if ye spin a cow around real fast ye get whipped cream?"  
  
"Stop it." Nolee giggled as she lightly hit Murphy in the arm while they walked to his and Connor's apartment. Nolee wasn't entirely sure where Murphy was leading her to, but at least the weather felt good on a Saturday. Her mind began to drift momentarily before looking back at Murphy.  
  
"Hey, I forgot to tell you I met Rocco."  
  
"Ye did? When?" Murphy questioned confused.  
  
"Well I first met him on Halloween, and then I actually saw him again right before I came home to find you at my doorstep." she explained slightly blushing. "He's...interesting. But funny."  
  
"Roc's a good man. Dumb, but a good man."  
  
"He seems a little paranoid though, especially when he mentioned some people named Vincenzo and Pappa Joe I think?" Nolee explained as Murphy suddenly stopped in his tracks and grabbed a hold of Nolee's arm to also stop her.  
  
"Why did Rocco mention them to ye?" Murphy questioned concerned.  
  
"I don't know, when I saw him on the street he was getting a sandwich from the deli for Pappa Joe. Why?" she asked worriedly noting the sudden change in Murphy, he seemed very tense.  
  
"Look Nolee, I didn't want ta say too much before, but t'eres something ye need to know about Rocco. He doesn't exactly work with ta best people."  
  
"What do you mean?" Nolee inquired confused.  
  
"Let's just say these people are very dangerous. I don't want ye to have absolutely anythin' ta do with them okay?" Murphy asked looking her head on while still grasping her arm gently. Nolee felt uneasy at how he was acting but nodded.  
  
"Okay Murphy." was all she whispered. Murphy's face softened up while sliding his hand down her arm to interlace with her fingers sensing he was scaring her.  
  
"I'm sorry lass, I just don't want ye accidentally gettin' involved with those bad people. I suppose I'm a little protective of ye." Murphy reasoned as his cheeks began to flush. Nolee felt small flutters in her stomach at his concern while squeezing Murphy's hand in assurance. Unable to deny that seeing him get embarrassed was more or less adorable.  
  
"I'll be careful." she told him once more allowing him to relax.  
  
"Good." he smiled softly and the two began to finish their walk to the apartment. Reaching a more urban part of the city, Nolee naturally put her guard up. Nolee didn't exact live in the best part of Boston herself but the neighborhood here had looked more rundown. But given the way the residents had greeted Murphy also with strong Irish accents, she assumed this had been a fellow Irish community.  
  
"Ye don't need to be afraid Nolee. I know it's not exactly pretty ta look at, but t'is neighborhood is Irish as well, we don't mess with our own kind here." Murphy told her picking up on the cautious vibes she was putting out. Nolee relaxed slightly at his words but still continued to hold his hand. Murphy led her into a rusty gray complex, allowing her to go first up the flight of stairs. Murphy's hand immediately placing itself on her lower back protectively.  
  
"Are you going to do this every time when we see stairs?" Nolee teased but was half serious turning her head back at Murphy.  
  
"Yes, so deal with it." Murphy answered as she rolled her eyes but smiled lightly. When she reached the stop of the stairs Murphy led her to end of the hallway to the last apartment on the left. Opening the door he let her in first. Nolee scanned around the apartment and confusion filled her eyes. It was quite small and quite bare. There was hardly any furniture besides a small tv and coffee table that was decorated with empty beer cans, pizza boxes, and cigarettes. There was also two beds on the right side of the room. But what was the most strange was the toilet and shower that had no separation from the rest of the apartment. That's when it seemed to hit her as her eyes widened.  
  
"Oh my god! You guys have been robbed!" she gasped staring at the barren apartment in shock and sadness. Murphy side eyed the small girl and furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
"Umm lass...we weren't robbed. That's just how ta place looks." Murphy responded running a hand through his hair awkwardly.  
  
"Oh...wait what?" Nolee questioned shocked.  
  
"Connor and I don't really spend a lot of time here, it's mainly just where we sleep, we don't really see a point in havin' lots of furniture."  
  
"Oh...I see..." she replied awkwardly not sure of what to make of the situation.  
  
"I suppose ye can tell we're not really ta materialistic type." Murphy joked and it seemed as if he was fully comfortable with their living quarters. Nolee didn't mean to judge, it was just a very unusual place to see. But yet in a very strange way it was sort of....admirable.  
  
"I can see that." Nolee joked back allowing the situation to not change her perception of Murphy.  
  
"Where's Connor?" she asked with a mix of curiosity and nervousness.  
  
"Said he was gonna do some errands when he left earlier, should be back soon." Murphy explained hanging up his coat and rosary on the nail hammered into the wall. Nolee awkwardly sat down on Murphy's bed (at least she hoped it was Murphy's bed) but just as her bottom touched the mattress the door slammed open making her stand back up.  
  
"Hey Murph, I flirted with the red headed lass at Lucky's and she gave me free donuts again." Connor grinned as he set down the box of donuts on the messy dining table. Connor looked for his brother but his eyes immediately zeroed in on Nolee who bit her lip nervously.  
  
"Aye, well hello t'ere lass..." Connor greeted as his light eyes filled with confusion at seeing the small girl in their apartment.  
  
"Hi, Connor." she replied shyly giving a small wave.  
  
"Didn't expect ta see ye here." he replied side eyeing his brother.  
  
"We came for ta donuts." Murphy smirked shrugging his shoulders casually.  
  
"Well don't eat ta glazed ones, those are mine." Connor warned staring at them both before opening the box. "Here ye lil' bastard." he added to Murphy. Murphy grinned childishly and sauntered over to the table, picking out a chocolate donut with sprinkles.  
  
"Want one lass?" Murphy questioned pointing to the donut while simultaneously taking a giant bite.  
  
"I'm good actually, but thanks." Nolee retorted but smiled at the crumbs on Murphy's face. It didn't take her long to learn he had a massive sweet tooth.  
  
"Are ye sure, they're delicious."  
  
"Calm down ye fat ass, it's not goin' anywhere." Connor scoffed in disgust at his brother's devouring of the confection as if it'd be the last time he would taste one.  
  
"Oh fuck yew. Your sweet tooth is just as bad as mine ye stook." Murphy retorted flipping the spiky hair male off, which in result set off an argument of the twin brothers. It felt like deja vu to Nolee remembering the first time she heard them banter. Unable to contain her giggle, her sound interrupted the brothers who both turned their attention to her. She could feel Connor's eyes burning a hole into her and she felt the anxiety start to build as it wouldn't be long until-  
  
"Maybe my mind is playin' tricks on me, but are ye...pregnant?" Connor blatantly asked staring at her stomach.  
  
_'Whoomp, there it is.'_  
  
Nolee awkwardly put her hands on her stomach as she looked at Murphy for help.  
  
"As a matter of fact yes, she is." Murphy interjected understanding her facial expression.  
  
"Hmm. Well as many times as Murph talks about ye, he forgot to mention that _small_.. _.minor._.. _insignificant_ detail." Connor retorted laced with sarcasm raising his eyebrow at his twin. Nolee awkwardly stared at the floor unsure of what to say. "Say Murph, how 'bout you and I have a little chat real fast." he added tilting his spiky hair in the direction of the door. Murphy sighed and rolled his eyes before nodding.  
  
"Fine." he answered his brother who already was walking to the door. "Just give me a minute okay?" Murphy whispered to the girl touching her lower back as she nodded understandingly.  
  
"Okay." she replied quietly to which he kissed her cheek and walked out to meet his brother. She rubbed her stomach as nervous habit not sure what to do except wait until they came back.  
  
Murphy closed the door gently as he turned his face towards an irritated Connor.  
  
"What ta fuck is goin' on?" he demanded pointing a finger at the brunette male. "I knew you had a t'ing for her, but when were ye gonna mention she's fuckin' pregnant?!" Connor whispered harshly.  
  
"Relax Connor." Murphy.  
  
"I will not fuckin' relax! Is-is it yours?" Connor gasped in shock and confusion. Murphy twisted his hands nervously hesitating answering the question.  
  
"No, it's not mine..." Murphy admitted softly as Connor looked back at him as if someone had just knocked a beer out his hand.  
  
"Jesus fuckin' Christ Murph-"  
  
"Lord's fuckin' name-"  
  
"What ta fuck are ye thinkin?! Have ye lost it?"  
  
"Look, t'ings just sort of happened okay? I like being around her." Murphy shrugged as Connor remained speechless.  
  
"Are ye seriously fallin' for a pregnant chick?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"What ta fuck!" Connor repeated before staring at his brother concerned. "Tell me ta truth brudder, do ye have a secret pregnancy fetish I don't know about?"  
  
"Oh for fucks sake Connor, no." Murphy retorted.  
  
"Explain ta attraction t'en? I mean honestly, how do ye expect t'is ta work exactly? Please enlighten me here."  
  
"I don't know!" Murphy hissed in annoyance. "I don't how t'is will work okay? I can't tell ye why I feel ta way I do. But..." Murphy trailed off before sighing. "I like her okay? I like her a lot."  
  
"I can't fuckin' believe this." Connor whispered running a hand through his hair anxiously. "Murphy ye have no idea how messy t'is could be."  
  
"T'en I guess that's for me ta find out innit?"  
  
"So you're okay with raisin' some poor bastard's child?"  
  
"Connor-"  
  
"Do ye even know much about her? What if she's just lookin' for any stook that'll play step-dad-"  
  
"That's enough Connor." Murphy cut him off angrily. "Ye don't know her enough ta bein' makin' assumptions like that."  
  
"Oh and ye do?"  
  
"Yes, actually. Ta more I get ta know her...ta more I enjoy being with her." Murphy confessed holding his hands out. Connor inhaled a deep breath as his thumb and index finger stroked the bridge of his nose simultaneously shaking his head.  
  
"Ye don't know what ye gettin' into brudder."  
  
"You're right, I don't know, but that's for me ta figure out. But ye want to know what I **DO** know? T'at if ye think you're gonna be able ta disrespect her, I've got bad news for you." Murphy answered lowly staring at his brother head on, the tension between them quickly rising while they eyed one another in battle. Connor was the first to break contact shaking his head once more.  
  
"I don't know who ta fuck ye are anymore." he sighed before walking past his brother back inside as Murphy ran a hand through his hair anxiously. Nolee's head snapped up as Connor walked back inside the room.  
  
"Excuse me lass, but I'm afraid I have ta leave unexpectedly." he told her dryly grabbing his wallet and glasses off the table.  
  
"Okay, bye Connor." she answered softly as he gave her a nod before walking out the door, just as Murphy was coming in.  
  
"Well, t'at went well." Murphy stated in sarcasm but didn't seem to be surprised at his brother's reaction.  
  
"He hates me." she whispered sadly looking at the ground embarrassed at the tears that began to build in the corner of her eyes, hating that she was sensitive to things like this. Murphy frowned as he approached her and wrapped his arms around her protectively.  
  
"Connor doesn't hate ye love. He's just...well he's Connor. Between ta two of us he's ta twin t'at overthinks t'ings too much, always have."  
  
"I'm not sure Murphy..."  
  
"He'll need some time, but he'll come around. Trust me on t'is okay?" he assured rubbing her arms comfortingly. "This isn't uncommon for him unfortunately. Don't worry tho, I won't let him be mean to ye." Murphy assured. Nolee only nodded as her head rested on his chest her head fitting perfectly underneath his chin and neck.  
  
"Come on, what can I do ta cheer ye up? Want me to buy ye a Payday?"  
  
"Maybe." Nolee answered childishly as Murphy laughed.  
  
"T'en I'll get ye one lass."  
  
"And since this meeting didn't exactly pan out, will you keep me company at the laundromat? I'm running out of clean underwear." she admitted with a frown while he laughed again.  
  
"As you wish lass."  
____  
  
Murphy did good on his word and accompanied her to the laundromat. Nolee tried not let Connor bring her mood down but it was difficult. It wasn't as if she'd never been rejected before, but understanding how close him and Murphy seemed to be, she just wanted things to not be awkward. It might take some effort on her part but she knew she'd have to figure out a way to get Connor to warm up to her. The last thing she wanted was for them to have tension towards each other because of her.  
  
Separating the colors from the whites she tried to distract herself and forget about Connor for now. Accidentally dropping an item as she put the clothes in the washer, Murphy was right behind her to pick it up a smirk spread onto his face.  
  
"Nice pair of panties ye got t'ere love." he teased holding up the black undergarments while she blushed and quickly snatched them out of his hands.  
  
"Do you have to embarrass me?"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
"You're not nice Mr. MacManus." she retorted as she closed the door of the washer and went back to folding the first load on the counter. Soon after she grabbed her stomach and winced from the kicks she was receiving from her stomach, amazed at how stronger they seemed to get each day. It was enough to make her lean against the counter and inhale deep breaths.  
  
"Are you okay love? Is somethin' wrong?" Murphy questioned concerned when he realized she seemed to be in pain.  
  
"I'm fine. Just the baby kicking pretty hard right now."  
  
"Oh...does it hurt?" he asked curiously as she shrugged.  
  
"Sometimes it does. Do you want to feel it?" she offered as he looked at her nervously.  
  
"Umm...sure." he replied nodding while she grabbed his hand and placed it on the side of her stomach.  
  
"Press your fingers in a bit." she told him as he did so. After a moment of silence a kick jabbed Murphy's fingers making him jump back.  
  
"Christ," he gasped surprised while she giggled. "That's cool. A little creepy, but cool."  
  
"It's alien-like huh?"  
  
"Very. But good ta know ye got a future soccer player in ta making." he teased. "Do you have a name picked out yet?"  
  
"Oh gosh, no." she sighed shaking her head. "I'm not sure I'm ready to start deciding yet, it's a lot of pressure."  
  
"Aye, t'ats understandable. Ye only pickin' a name that she'll use for ta rest of her life, definitely no pressure t'ere."  
  
"That's comforting, thank you."  
  
"You're very welcome love." he smirked giving her a kiss. "Also, ye know ta holidays are coming up pretty fast." he pointed out.  
  
"Crap, you're right." she sighed once again losing track of time, unprepared for the craziness that usually comes along with it. The holidays were the last thing on her mind.  
  
"Got any plans?"  
  
"Not really." she admitted shrugging her shoulders. "How about you? You ever go back home for the holidays to Ireland?"  
  
"As much as I would love ta and know I should, Connor and I usually don't." he admitted guiltily. "It'd be nice to see our Ma though." he frowned in genuine sadness while she felt her heartstring being pulled at the sight of a guy being sad over his mother.  
  
_'Oh my god, he looks so sad. Why do I have the urge to hold him?'_ she questioned to herself. A nagging feeling built up in her stomach, a weird desire to make the situation better probed her. She could feel the word vomit begin to rise in her throat unable to stop it.  
  
"Well what if I host a dinner for Thanksgiving?" she suddenly suggested.  
  
"A dinner?" Murphy replied confused.  
  
"Yeah, I could make something for you...and Connor." she offered realizing it could be the opportunity she was looking for to hopefully make things better with the other Irishman. Murphy pondered the thought for a moment before shrugging.  
  
"If ye want lass, I certainly wouldn't object to a dinner."  
  
"It's okay, I don't mind." she assured him smiling. "I probably wouldn't do much otherwise."  
  
"Well alright, t'at sounds good ta me love."  
  
"You think Connor would go for it though?" she questioned raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Most likely, t'at spiky haired cunt could never turn down free food."  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned in this chapter is Blood and Roses by The Smithereens. I own no rights to it whatsoever.


	15. Give Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wait...you knocked her up?!"

By the time Monday rolled around again and the same mundane routine of getting ready for work again, Nolee had groaned at her alarm clock like usual. It was a difficult fight getting her eyes to open. The sudden burst of energy she had over the weekend had finally said sayonara and she was now feeling the aftermath of power cleaning the apartment.  
  
"Damn I overdid it." she whispered lifting her head from her pillow and whining for a solid minute straight. After her griping session she pulled herself out of bed and got dressed. Walking to her kitchen and making her usual fruit and oatmeal, her brown eyes stared at the clock. It was close to the time Murphy was due to arrive. But a frown spread across her face when she realized it was Monday, which meant Murphy would be attending morning mass instead of walking her to work. Although Murphy was absolutely allowed to do his own thing, she had to admit maybe she'd been spoiled by having a personal Irishman walk her to work.  
  
 _'At least I'll see him for Thanksgiving.'_  she thought and pondered how the dinner would go. A moment of realization instantly punched her in the gut as she gasped aloud.  
  
"Oh god why did I do that!" she whispered horrified when she remembered that she never hosted a Thanksgiving dinner before, therefore she had no clue what the whole thing entailed. There was no way she'd manage to host a dinner for both the brothers on her own!  
  
"Shit, shit shit!" she cursed as panic began to set in. There went her bright idea on trying to win Connor over, why did she have to word vomit? Damn Murphy and his sad eyes, all she wanted to do was cheer him up over his mother, now look what she caused! Nolee put a hand over her rapidly beating heart and tried to figure out ways to make this work, but none came up. In a moment of desperation and last resorts, Nolee snapped her fingers.  
  
"Kira." she whispered grabbing her purse and jacket before high tailing it (well as fast as a pregnant woman could go) out her apartment and made her to way Cosmo's. It was almost a good thing Murphy had been at mass so he couldn't see the hot panicky mess she currently was. Making her way through a crowd of Boston citizens, she practically threw open the door to Cosmo's.  
  
"Welcome to Cosmo's what can I...Jesus, what's the matter with you?" Kira asked as Nolee waddled as quickly as she could to the taller girl.  
  
"I need your help!" Nolee exclaimed as Kira held her hands out.  
  
"Whoa, what's going on woman, are you okay?" she asked concerned. Nolee spilled out the entire events that transpired over the weekend of Murphy coming to see her, Connor's rejection, and how she involuntarily offered to make a Thanksgiving dinner.  
  
"So let me make sure I have this all correct: Murphy wanted you and him to talk to his brother Connor about you two, but Connor isn't exactly keen on the whole idea. So you then offer to make them a Thanksgiving dinner when you have no idea how to cook." Kira repeated raising her eyebrow.  
  
"I thought it was a nice idea at the time. I mean Murphy mentioned how he never gets to visit his mother in Ireland for the holidays and how much he misses her, it was so sad Kira! I just wanted to do something nice for him." Nolee lamented. "I mean it's the least I could do since he's been...supportive of everything."  
  
"Okay I can understand that, but you thought pulling a dinner out your ass was the answer?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"And you're also hoping this will help mend things with Connor?"  
  
"Mostly yeah, I just want him to warm up to me and not hate me." Nolee sighed running a hand through her hair while Kira half rolled her eyes and sighed.  
  
"Well...lucky for you, I happen to know plenty about hosting holiday events. So after work, we need to go the supermarket ASAP and get you the stuff you need."  
  
"Really?" Nolee gasped in relief as the taller brunette nodded calmly.  
  
"Yes really, only because I don't want you embarrassing yourself in case things go wrong for the dinner."  
  
"Is...that...supposed to be supportive or-"  
  
"Look, you and I both know you can't handle pressure well, you crack like an egg. So let's avoid a huge disaster with Murphy's bro and get the things we need now before the holiday rush kicks in the next couple days." Kira reasoned.  
  
"You're my angel." Nolee smiled gratefully as Kira flipped her hair over shoulder.  
  
"I know I am, remember that when Christmas comes. I'm a size 7 in heels."  
_____  
  
After work ended the girls made their way to the store where Kira picked out every must haves for Thanksgiving dinner. Nolee watched in amazement as the taller girl expertly put things in the cart. A feeling of guilt and sadness bubbled in the small girl's stomach feeling inferior at not knowing these types of things. After her mom passed, holidays hadn't been the same and it wasn't if her dad cared enough to teach her all this stuff. Her grandma had usually been the one to make the food, but the actual essence of the holidays was missing. Nolee was accustomed to surviving for solely herself, it was hard to break such a habit.  
  
"I can't believe you really don't know how to make a Thanksgiving dinner, can you cook at all?" Kira teased as the small girl who shot her a glance.  
  
"Of course I can make other things, I'm just not used to holidays dinners. My family isn't exactly "festive." Nolee explained solemnly.  
  
"I see, well thank your lucky stars you have me then eh?" Kira smirked making Nolee roll her eyes but ultimately nod in agreement. After gathering all the essentials and paying, the girls carried the bags back to Nolee's apartment. Kira separated it all into groups and in record time wrote out instructions for each meal, Nolee could only look on impressed. The only thing that was store bought had been the pumpkin pie and bread rolls to save some time.  
  
"How do you know all this anyways?" Nolee questioned curiously.  
  
"My family has always been rather over the top with holiday dinners, we've always hosted some event each year. Gives my parents another reason to show off basically, you tend to memorize it all after hosting for so long."  
  
"Wow." was all Nolee could say.  
  
"I know most people think I'm just a party girl, but I do know my shit... _sometimes._ "  
  
"Well I definitely appreciate it trust me. Is that where you'll be then, because if you want you're than welcome to join us for dinner." Nolee offered.  
  
"Appreciate the invite doll, but yes I'll be going home for the holidays. If I don't my parents will bitch."  
  
"Well just in case, the offer remains." Nolee assured as she put the items away, hoping that could be able to pull this all off.  
  
"So...?" Kira said holding her hands out expectantly.  
  
"So what?" Nolee asked confused.  
  
"Does this mean things are finally in motion between you and Murphy? I mean, it _must_ be if you care so much what his brother thinks." Kira replied raising her eyebrow.  
  
"Well they do seem to be pretty close, I wouldn't want them to be at odds because of me being pregnant and all."  
  
"Well... that's actually sweet of you to want to make an effort. Does this also mean you'll let Murphy stuff something else besides a turkey?"  
  
"Kira!" Nolee gasped as her cheeks turned red. "What is wrong with you?"  
  
"What?! I'm just sayin, have you gotten close to being intimate yet?"  
  
"Not yet." Nolee whispered.  
  
"Well why not? He's hot." Kira sighed in annoyance.  
  
"Because! That's totally something I'm not ready for right now." Nolee explained still blushing at the thought, never really thinking about the idea until now.  
  
"Well don't make him wait _too_ long."  
  
"I'll make that decision myself thank you." Nolee retorted placing the pie in the fridge longer wanting to continue the conversation feeling incredibly awkward.  
  
"Whatever you say. Just remember to put the turkey in the oven when you wake up, everything else should be fairly easy. But if you still need my help, you can call me at my parents house."  
  
"Okay, thank you so much for your help Kira."  
  
"I do what I can. Oh, I almost forgot." Kira replied reaching into her purse and pulling out a white bag. "I got you something." she added handing the bag over to Nolee who eyed it suspiciously.  
  
"What's this?" she questioned as she opened it. Her hand pulling out a bright pink onesie with black lettering that read _ **My Aunt's Hotter Than Yours.**_  
"Really?" Nolee scoffed.  
  
"What, I wanted to be the _first_ one to get my niece a gift. It's perfect." Kira shrugged proud of herself.  
  
"It's...lovely. Thank you." Nolee replied deciding to be nice and crack a smile. "I'm sure the baby will love it too."  
  
"She better, cause I'm the best aunt in the world I'll have you know little one." Kira replied lowering her head speaking to Nolee's stomach. "Even though I really thought you'd be a boy, but whatever it's even better. Girls rule."  
  
"Okay relax Kira, you're scaring my child." Nolee teased feeling kicks from the inside. Kira stuck her tongue out before patting the small girl's belly. "Your mom knows it's true."  
  
"Just be safe going back home okay crazy aunt?" Nolee retorted while rolling her eyes.  
  
"I will, and good luck with your dinner. I hope things go good between you and Connor."  
  
"Yeah I hope so too."  
  
"I'll call you later for details. See you." Kira replied giving the small girl a hug before heading towards the door.  
  
"See you," Nolee added watching her leave the apartment. She looked around the kitchen at all the food items feeling her nerves bundle up at the challenge.  
  
"God, please let me pull this off."  
____  
  
*Thanksgiving Day*  
  
"Okay Turkey is in." Nolee said aloud as she closed the door to the oven and set the timer for five hours. Her nerves were still tight as she willed herself to make today be good. Not able to sleep from being anxious the small girl had been up earlier than she preferred.  
  
"I told Murphy to be here later on, so I should have plenty of time." she assured as she said one more prayer and began to cook each recipe carefully following Kira's instructions. By the time the afternoon hit she managed to make homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, extra stuffing, macaroni and cheese, and candied yams. All that was left was the cranberry sauce and when that was easily made, Nolee stepped back and exhaled a deep breath looking at her creations.  
  
"Holy shit, I actually did it." she whispered in shock. "I'm a functioning adult after all."  
  
She had to give credit where it was due; when Kira pulled through, she pulled through. Feeling a little more at ease and accomplished at the food, she could only hope and pray the Irishmen liked it at this point. Craving a warm shower she quickly made her way to the bathroom and turned on the water before stepping into the spray and washing the nerves away. When she finished she felt slightly better enough to get dressed. Really making an effort to not wear her usual leggings and long shirts, Nolee searched for more formal attire. After all if she was pretending to be Betty Crocker for the day, she needed to look the part.  
  
"Mm...you'll do I guess." she mumbled settling on a marigold tank top and maxi skirt that was white with a matching marigold chevron pattern. The closest thing she could find to matching Thanksgiving colors. She groaned a bit realizing how big her belly looked in the tank top, but she had no desire to continue searching for an outfit. Letting her hair dry in it's natural curly pattern she bobby pinned the right side of her hair behind her ear. Placing her locket back around her neck, she turned side to side and couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous she felt. Who knew she was capable of being somewhat domesticated.  
  
Figuring she still had sometime before the boys arrived she'd wait to do her makeup later. Instead she hurriedly worked on her living room and made it as presentable as she could. Lighting a scented candle for dramatic effect she twiddled her hands together nervously.  
  
"I hope you'd be proud of me mom." she whispered to herself blinking back tears in an effort to not reminisce her mother and how much she loved the holidays. She jumped a bit when she heard her doorbell ring interrupting her thoughts.  
  
"Hey, I thought I told you you didn't have to come until later." she spoke opening the door to reveal Murphy.  
  
"I didn't feel like waitin.' Murphy smirked as he walked past her into the apartment. "Christ, it smells amazin' in here." he moaned in anticipation making her half smile.  
  
"Thank you, but you were supposed to be here later. I'm not even ready yet." she frowned feeling self conscious. Murphy eyed her from head to toe and smiled while pulling her to him.  
  
"Don't bother, ye look beautiful."  
  
"You're just being nice." she replied childishly.  
  
"And why would I lie to ye?" he countered leaning his face closer to hers causing her blush. "Now give me my proper hello." he lightly demanded in a low tone inadvertently sending shivers up her spine as she connected her lips to his, melting at the mint taste she'd become used to.  
  
"Happy Thanksgiving." he whispered into her ear his cool breath tickling her.  
  
"Happy Thanksgiving." she answered as they pulled apart. "Where's Connor?" she asked nervously realizing he was not with his brother.  
  
"He's coming later don't worry." he assured as she nodded.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Now what is t'at delightful smell huh?" Murphy questioned walking to the kitchen as she scoffed following behind. Murphy scanned the food neatly placed on the counter and Nolee swore she saw drool leak out the corner of his mouth.  
  
"Lass, you made all t'is yourself?" Murphy told her impressed.  
  
"I know it's not exactly a feast, but I tried to do what I could."  
  
"Trust me lass, t'is is great." Murphy replied still eyeing the food.  
  
"And I know how much you wish you could be back home to see your mother, I thought maybe this could make up for it a little bit." she added blushing once more as he lifted his head up to her.  
  
"T'at's why ye did all this? Because of me?" he questioned surprised as she nodded biting her lip. There was something in Murphy's eyes that she could not detect but she was taken by surprise when he pulled her into his arms again and kissed her fiercely. Her hands clutched the collar of his black coat as he deepened the kiss. Murphy's hands held her hips while slowly pushing her backwards until her bottom pressed against a counter. Her eyes widen in alert at his boldness, his hands caressing her hips.  
  
"M-Murphy," she lightly warned him just as a heavy knock erupted from her door making them pull apart. Nolee had been thankful for the interruption unsure of what was just about to take place. Murphy sighed as he looked towards then back to her.  
  
"Must be Connor, guess his fat arse couldn't wait either." he told her causing her to giggle. Murphy opened up the door for her and sure enough Connor was waiting on the other side.  
  
"Hello younger brudder."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Now is t'at anyway ta treat a guest?" Connor smirked as he sauntered into the apartment.  
  
"Hi Connor, happy Thanksgiving." Nolee waved kindly.  
  
"Happy Thanksgiving lass. Now I hope ye don't mind, but I brought me a hot date along." Connor replied as she lightly raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh...okay-"  
  
"Room for one more?" a voice intercepted as she widened her eyes.  
  
"Rocco!" she beamed at the shaggy haired man now standing in her door frame.  
  
"Nolee is that you hun? I didn't know this was your apartment. Wait, how do you know these two Micks?" Rocco asked confused while Nolee laughed nervously.  
  
"Wait, ye know Rocco?" Connor chimed in equally confused making her stammer on her words.  
  
"Well ain't that something. Come here hun." Rocco smiled pulling Nolee into a bear hug as she gasped in surprise. Rocco pulled away when he realized there was something solid between them. He looked down at her stomach in pure confusion.  
  
"Whoa, either you had a huge meatball sandwich or I'd think you were pregnant."  
  
"Rocco." both brothers scolded in unison.  
  
"What?" Rocco asked still confused while Nolee grabbed her stomach.  
  
"Umm I am pregnant actually." Nolee explained as Rocco grinned.  
  
"Well congratulations sweetie, who's the lucky guy?" he asked curiously as her skin flushed. Murphy stood beside her and interlaced a hand in hers making her look up at him while Rocco furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
"Wait... _you_ knocked her up?!" Rocco gasped as Murphy shrugged.  
  
"Well technically no..."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Yeah Murphy, why don't ye explain ta us ye beautiful love story." Connor chimed in sardonically making the small girl look at the ground while Murphy rolled his eyes.  
  
"Maybe we should all just eat first."  
  
*  
  
There was a period of silence as all four adults ate the various foods. Nolee took the silence as a good thing seeing all three men chow down groaning as if they hadn't had homemade meal in a long time, especially the brothers.  
  
"Nolee-cannoli, this is heaven." Rocco moaned satisfied. Nolee smiled relieved that they liked her cooking as well as Rocco's sudden nickname for her.  
  
"Thank you Rocco."  
  
"It really is delicious, thank ye love." Murphy added placing his hand on her thigh. There was a banging noise underneath the small table followed by Connor huffing in pain.  
  
"What they said, thank ye lass." Connor grumbled and even though things still seemed to be rocky with him, Nolee accepted the compliment.  
  
"Thank you Connor, I'm glad you all like it."  
  
"So...catch me up here please. You're pregnant but Murphy's NOT the father, but you two ARE together is what I'm presuming?" Rocco clarified as both Murphy and her nodded.  
  
"More or less." Murphy replied.  
  
"Where did you two meet?"  
  
"Murphy came into the coffee shop I work at." Nolee explained gently.  
  
"And now you're both planning to raise the child together or what?" Rocco questioned making Nolee freeze mid bite of her food, her eyes looking at Murphy.  
  
"Well...ye."  
  
"Hmm. Well I admit I'm a bit surprised, but I don't see anything wrong it." Rocco shrugged.  
  
"You don't?" Murphy and Nolee replied in unison.  
  
"No, I mean who am I to judge anyone else's relationships? You both have seen the disaster that is Donna and I."  
  
"I'll say." Connor mumbled under his breath.  
  
"I'd never stand in the way of other people's happiness. So if you both are happy, then so am I. Besides, Nolee you seem like a sweet girl." Rocco answered shrugging.  
  
"Thank you Rocco." Nolee smiled genuinely at his words, always knowing there was something good Nolee saw in him.  
  
"Yeah, thank ye Roc." Murphy added sincerely.  
  
"Don't thank me kids, let's just be a little extra thankful this year. How beautiful life can be sometimes."  
  
The rest of the evening had made a turn for the better after the ice was broken. All adults had manage to enjoy good food as Nolee watched all three men crack jokes on one another relentlessly.  
  
"And let me tell ye ta time back in Ireland I put a wee little frog down Murph's pants and he nearly pissed him cryin.' _Get it off Connor, get it off!_ " Connor cried dramatically doing an impression of his brother while Murphy glared.  
  
"It wasn't fuckin' funny ye know I hate frogs."  
  
"Ye right it wasn't just funny, it was fuckin' hilarious. _Macho Murph_ terrified of frogs."  
  
"Oh ye want ta take a stroll down memory lane Con? What about ta time ye went on a date with Siobhan Kelly in 9th grade and got food poisoning from ta food later t'at night, and when ye makin' out ye threw up all over her."  
  
"Oh god." Nolee gasped but couldn't contain her giggle as Connor turned red.  
  
"Why ye gotta bring up old shit all ta time huh?"  
  
"Why do you?!" Murphy shouted back as the brothers broke out in yet another banter while Rocco and her looked on in amusement.  
  
"Are you sure you want to deal with them being like this all the time?" Rocco teased to Nolee while she just shook her head and smiled. Despite the craziness of it all, Nolee was enjoying herself. She couldn't remember the last time she smiled so much on Thanksgiving day. To feel genuine laughter and actually enjoy the company surrounding her. As Nolee watched the men interact with each other it was not hard to see the love and friendship underneath all the insults. A pang of sadness had bubbled in her stomach. The only time she felt this type of joy had been with her mother, and in that moment she would have given anything to have her here.  
  
The hormones made it difficult to fight the tears that threatened to fall once more and before they could, Nolee sat up quickly.  
  
"I'm umm...I'm going to get the pie." she told the men swiftly leaving the table and headed into the kitchen. A hand clamped over her mouth as she silently wept in the kitchen, mentally scolding herself for being so weak. This was why she didn't like the holidays in the first place, it only brought back memories that seemed so far away now. But how she wished her mom had still been alive to help her through all of this. How disappointed she'd be if she knew everything that happened with Tristan, but maybe she'd happy to have a grandchild on the way.  
  
 _'I'll never know.'_  
  
"What's ta matter love?" Murphy's voice spoke close to her as she lifted her head up seeing him standing next to her, smiling through her tears.  
  
"What do you mean, I'm fine," she replied innocently clearing her throat while Murphy frowned at her.  
  
"I can tell you're lying Nolee."  
  
"No I'm not." Nolee defended as Murphy reached out and grabbed her chin gently tilting it up to face him.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong." he demanded and even though his voice was aggressive, his eyes contained nothing but concern when he noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks. She knew it was useless to keep denying.  
  
"The holidays make me miss my mom the most is all." she whispered wiping her cheeks. Murphy bit his lip in sadness.  
  
"I'm sorry love, I know it must be hard." he replied in understanding while she only nodded.  
  
"Please don't cry." he replied touching her cheek.  
  
"It's the hormones, I'm sorry."  
  
"Why ye sayin' sorry for? Don't ever apologize, come here." he told her pulling her into his embrace. "I won't pretend ta know how ye feel, I know it's tough. But remember ye have all of us now." he assured her kissing the top of her head. Nolee felt more emotional at his words wondering how he could be so kind and caring to someone like her.  
  
"I know." she answered back quietly. "I guess I should cut the pie now." she lightly joked composing herself.  
  
"Are ye sure?"  
  
"Yeah. I don't want to keep Rocco and Connor waiting." she assured opening the pumpkin pie and cutting into multiple slices. Spraying a dollop of whipped cream on each slice she brought a plate out to Rocco and Connor.  
  
"Pie!" Rocco cheered happily as she handed him a plate. "Thank you sweetheart."  
  
"You're welcome Rocco, and here you go Connor." Nolee replied handing the other brother a plate.  
  
"Thank you lass." Connor thanked her kindly giving her a small smile. Nolee thought it was a bit strange at his sudden behavior towards her but she wouldn't question it. Perhaps he was starting to warm up to her after all. It might take some more work on her part, but for now she'd take what she could get from the spiky haired Irishman.  
  
"Besides if we really want ta take a stroll down memory lane, what about Roc gettin' so langered he got arrested for swimmin' naked in ta Brewer Fountain." Connor pointed out as Murphy nearly choked on his piece of pie from laughing so hard.  
  
"I forgot about t'at!" Murphy grinned making it Rocco's turn to blush red. "Traumatized half of Boston with his hairy arse."  
  
"Come on man, ya can't bring that up in front of the ladies." Rocco complained embarrassed.  
  
"What ladies Roc?" both brothers teased in unison.  
  
"Man forget you both."  
  
Nolee and the three men finished their slices of pie while the never ending roasting session continued. She wasn't sure how much time had passed but after the men devoured their second piece, Rocco finally stood up and sighed.  
  
"Well, this was very nice but I need to get goin, I have packages to deliver. Nolee, it was a pleasure." Rocco smiled giving her hug.  
  
"See you later Rocco." she smiled.  
  
"Goodnight you two fucks." Rocco added looking at the brothers.  
  
"Night Roc." Murphy and Connor replied in unison once more as the shaggy haired man left the apartment.  
  
"I should probably get goin' myself." Connor spoke also standing up from the table.  
  
"Are you sure? You're more than welcome to take the couch." Nolee offered.  
  
"I appreciate ta offer lass, but I'll umm...leave ye two be." Connor replied awkwardly sliding on his coat. "Thanks for ta dinner."  
  
"Of course. Goodnight Connor." she replied as he gave her and Murphy a nod before exiting the apartment as well.  
  
"Well it's just you and me." Murphy said to her wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
"How lucky for you to be the one to help me do dishes." Nolee retorted wiggling her eyebrows back at him as he sighed and hung his head.  
  
"Fair enough." he mumbled while she laughed. After cleaning up the table and putting the leftovers away, Nolee washed the dirty dishes while Murphy dried them. Together it didn't take too long to clean up, but when they finished Nolee was exhausted. The Betty Crocker act had officially left the building and sleep sounded really good right about now.  
  
"Thank ye again for today it means a lot me."  
  
"Of course Murphy. I'm glad you liked it."  
  
"I guess it's my turn to be headin' off innit?" Murphy replied rubbing his shoulder. Nolee frowned at the thought of him leaving, not quite ready to see him go just yet. Maybe it was because she didn't want to spend the rest of the night alone in her thoughts. But she nervously twisted her hands as she stared at the Irishman.  
  
"Actually Murphy, would you maybe want to stay over tonight? If you want to?" she asked shyly. Murphy eyes widened in surprise slightly but nodded back at her.  
  
"Of course love." he answered with a smile walking with the small girl to the bedroom. Both of them collapsed into her bed and sighed in unison, Murphy wrapped an arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Do ye feel a little better now?" he asked softly caressing her arm referring to her mini episode in the kitchen.  
  
"Now that you're here I do." she admitted to him.  
  
"I'm sorry if Connor or Rocco made ye feel awkward today. I know Rocco kinda put us on ta spot."  
  
"He did a little bit, but it's fine."  
  
"Well good." he smiled kissing her. "Ye know if ye wanted to, we could pick up where we left off earlier before me idiot brother ruined it." he whispered as she froze, knowing he was referring to the make out session they had in the kitchen. While it had been enjoyable somewhat, the thought of it leading to more still had her on edge.  
  
"I don't think I'm ready for that yet Murphy." she admitted looking down instinctively preparing for him to react negatively.  
  
"I can respect t'at lass." was all he answered as she lifted her head up in surprise. There was no annoyance or disappointment in his blue eyes that studied her. The small girl felt some guilt that it seemed Murphy was willing to be so patient so with her, while internally she struggled with her own conflicts. She felt undeserving of his patience, what if she was never ready?  
  
Burying her face into his warm chest she wished she could hideaway where her mind could not torture her. Murphy's heartbeat was slowly drumming her to sleep while his hand played with her hair.  
  
"Nolee?" he called her name gently.  
  
"Yes Murphy?" she answered tiredly having been relaxed by his fingers.  
  
"I want ta take ye on a date. A proper one."


	16. So Close Yet So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not that special Murphy."

"So...how did Thanksgiving go?"  
  
"It went pretty good I'd say. The boys liked the dinner."  
  
"You're welcome by the way. What about Connor, did you guys get along?"  
  
"For the most part. I think he might be warming up to me, at first he was his usual self. But by the end of the night, I don't know his behavior seemed different to me."  
  
"Maybe you succeeded at charming him and now he'll stop being a jerk."  
  
"Yeah maybe. After Connor and Rocco left, Murphy stayed the night and NO nothing happened."  
  
"Of course nothing happened, and who's Rocco?" Kira asked confused.  
  
"He's Murphy and Connor's good friend. He's really funny, a little weird but funny."  
  
"Well that's good it turned out better than expected, anything else happen?"  
  
"Well...Murphy asked if he could take me out on a date tonight."  
  
"He wants to take you on a date? That is so adorable! Wait, you said yes right?" Kira gushed over the phone.  
  
"Yeah." Nolee answered shyly.  
  
"So what's the problem?"  
  
"I don't know, I guess I'm just nervous." Nolee explained as her hands entwined with the phone cord her mind going back to the night before.  
  
_"A date?" she repeated lifting her head from Murphy's chest._

_"Yes. Would be t'at be okay with ye?" Murphy asked carefully. The idea throwing her off while she contemplated her decision. It seemed a bit silly to her at first seeing as they managed to skip several steps, Nolee was sure they were past a date at this point. But the look in his blue eyes shown her he was completely serious._

_"I mean...yeah that would be okay." she answered not having the heart to say no to him._  
_"Great. How does tomorrow night sound?"_

_"Sounds good to me."_

_"Good. It's a date t'en."_  
"Well it's not like you've never been on a date before...right?" Kira questioned sarcastically earning a scoff from the small girl. Murphy had awoken early after spending the night at her apartment to leave for morning mass with Connor. Nolee felt his lips lightly kiss her head before leaving her alone in the bed to head out. After pacing around for most of the day in anxiousness after he left, she could not take it anymore and dialed up the tall brunette.  
  
"Of course, but it's been a long time since I have. I don't know if I even remember how to act on a date."  
  
"You don't have to act silly, just be yourself."  
  
"But what if I say something stupid or the whole thing goes completely wrong?" the small girl panicked.  
  
"Whoa there, don't freak out already. It's just a date, I doubt it will go wrong, it's not like you both are strangers to each other anymore."  
  
"I know, but still." Nolee replied with a sigh.  
  
"Just relax and try to be optimistic. I'm sure you'll have a great time with Murphy, I have to admit I wouldn't peg him as being so romantic. When he is coming to get you anyways?"  
  
"He said 6 o'clock."  
  
"That's in three hours! I'm coming over."  
  
"Wait, what for?" the small girl questioned confused.  
  
"If you're gonna go on a proper date, you need to look amazing." Kira clarified.  
  
"Are you trying to imply I don't look-"  
  
"I'm saying you need a little extra sparkle tonight, really wow him. I'm bringing one of my dresses over."  
  
"You do remember I'm about to be six months pregnant and definitely can't fit into your tight dresses anymore?"  
  
"Thanks Captain Obvious, but I do have a maxi dress that stretches."  
  
"Are you sure this is necessary?" Nolee lamented running a hand through her hair.  
  
"Very necessary. So don't you move, I'll be there shortly."  
  
"But Kira-" *beep* Nolee groaned as Kira had already hung the phone and was no doubt speeding around her apartment to gather all her products. She suddenly regretted calling her, she should know by now Kira had a flare for being extra with every special occasion. It didn't take very long for her to hear frantic knocks on her door.  
  
"What did you teleport here or something?" Nolee scoffed opening the door to reveal the tall brunette heavily panting in the door way holding a bag in each hand.  
  
"I...power... walked."  
  
"Are you okay?" Nolee teased as Kira shook her head.  
  
"I don't think I've walked so fast in my life."  
  
"Well come in Speedy Gonzales and I'll get you some water."  
  
"Thank...you...." the taller girl panted stepping inside while Nolee retrieved a glass of water. After gulping down the liquid Kira sighed in relief.  
  
"Much better. Okay, let's get you sexy." Kira beamed rubbing her hands together excitedly.  
  
"Can you please not go as crazy as you did Halloween."  
  
"Don't worry, date nights are my specialty. Just sit back and let the master work."  
__  
  
After what seemed to be an eternity of hair pulling, eyebrow tweezing, and eyeball poking; Kira's relentless fingers had finally seized their torture and the tall brunette ordered the small girl to change. Nolee begrudgingly made her way to the bathroom and changed from her pajamas into the black long sleeved maxi dress Kira had brought over. When Nolee adjusted the dress and caught a glance in the mirror her brown eyes widened.  
  
Kira had straightened her normal curly hair making it look sleek and shiny. Her makeup was shimmery and smoky but not overdone. Her lips were donned in a dark brown lipstick that complimented her eyeshadow and her cheeks were slightly accentuated with blush and bronzer. The long maxi dress hugged her figure and went down to her ankles. Naturally by Kira's style the dress showed cleavage as well as her bump but Nolee found it to be tolerable, the dress was rather comfy.  
  
"So..." Kira whispered as she appeared by the girl in the mirror smiling at her work. Nolee had to admit that she actually felt pretty and sophisticated even.  
  
"I...I like it." Nolee replied surprised touching her now straight hair.  
  
"I told you, date nights are my specialty. Now I can't wait for Murphy's reaction when he sees you, he'll be like the cartoons with hearts in their eyes."  
  
"You think he'll like it? Pregnant belly and all?"  
  
"Honey, right now you're rocking the hell out of your pregnancy." Kira exclaimed amazed as the small girl blushed.  
  
"Thanks Kira. I'll give you props this time." she admitted smirking.  
  
"Your damn right you will. What time is it?" Kira asked looking at the clock on Nolee's nightstand gasping. "He'll be here soon! I better get going." Kira beamed putting all her beauty products back in her bags.  
  
"Wait, don't leave me!" Nolee whined nervously.  
  
"Nolee, you'll be just fine. He's going to love you. I don't want to cramp your guys style. Call me and let me know everything that happens okay?"  
  
"I will."  
  
"Good luck!" Kira grinned giving her a thumbs up before picking up her bags and quickly exiting the apartment. Nolee exhaled a deep breath trying not to let her nerves flare up. She anxiously stared at the clock waiting for Murphy to show up. She knew it was silly to be so nervous since her and Murphy weren't exactly strangers anymore, but as she stared at the clock a familiar sensation tingled through her.  
  
_Nolee stared at the clock at her nightstand anxiously as the big hand read six o'clock. Not a second later did she hear car horn beep from outside. Checking out her window she could see the familiar black car waiting in the driveway. Excited she giggled before grabbing her purse and quickly heading out her room and down the stairs to the door. Her hands trembled as she approached the car and the door opened.  
_  
_"Wow you look amazing darlin.' Tristan smiled as he eyed her up and down._  
  
_"You think so?" she blushed just as she did each time he came to pick her up._  
  
_"I know so." he smirked pulling her into his arms to kiss her. "You're beautiful baby." he whispered in her ear causing massive flutters in her stomach. Tristan smiled as he grabbed her hand and helped her in the car. She bit her lip as she watched him walk back to the driver's side and slide in. Things had been incredible between them both it was hard to believe Tristan was once new to Phoenix. In the short time she spent with him it felt like she'd known him forever they had so much in common._  
  
_"Where would you like to go beautiful? I'll take you anywhere you want go."_  
  
_"Can we go to McCarthy's?"_  
  
_"Again babe, we always go there."_  
  
_"Please? It's my favorite." she pouted sticking out her lower lip dramatically as Tristan eyed her for a moment before sighing._  
  
_"Fine, let's go. I hate when you do that." he sighed in annoyance but a cracked a smile as she giggled victoriously while they made their way to the popular burger joint. Nolee relished each time he drove for their dates he would hold her hands in his. The feel of his warm hands always seemed to make her feel safe and comfortable. Tristan was unlike any guy she'd ever met before. He was so calm and collected, she couldn't believe someone like him wanted to be with a girl like her. Each date felt like the first date they had back in high school, now they were ready to head into the adult world, together._  
  
_Tristan arrived at McCarthy's and parked before helping her out the car. She smiled as she took her hand in his and walked to the entrance door._  
  
_"Tristan." a deep voice called out and Nolee turned her head to the sound. Her smile fading into a frown when Johnny Baker the notorious criminal had been the culprit. How did he know Tristan?_  
  
_"Can we talk for a second." the muscular tattooed man asked as Tristan glanced at her nervously. Nolee raised an eyebrow at him demanding an explanation._  
  
_"Get us a table and I'll meet you in there?"_  
  
_"Tristan..."_  
  
_"Just give me a quick second alright babe?" Tristan told her giving her a kiss and walking off towards Johnny's direction. Nolee felt uneasy as she watched him walk towards the man but listened to her boyfriend and walked inside the restaurant. Impatiently waiting for him to come back she peeked her head out the window to see what was taking so long. Johnny and Tristan looked deep into their conversation. Johnny leaned in to whisper something in Tristan's ear as he nodded and smiled, Johnny simultaneously slipping an unknown item in his hand. Tristan quickly shoving it in his pocket as they said a couple more words before parting ways. As Tristan headed back inside Nolee quickly sat down. A bad feeling had began to brew in her stomach as she knew something wasn't right._  
  
_"Sorry baby." Tristan smiled as he sat down carrying on as if nothing had happened. Nolee eyed him suspiciously._  
  
_"Tristan why were you talking to Johnny Baker?"_  
  
_"He just wanted my advice on some guy stuff is all." Tristan answered with a shrug._  
  
_"Since when you are you guys friends?" she asked confused._  
  
_"I don't know, we happened to meet at Andrew's party and just hit it off I guess."_  
  
_"Tristan I don't know if I'm comfortable with you talking to him, he's bad news." Nolee replied worriedly. Tristan sighed as he reached out to touch her hand._  
  
_"Relax Nolee, it's not a big deal. We're just acquaintances and have some things in common. I promise I won't get too involved with him trust me."_  
  
Nolee teared her head away from the clock and wrapped her arms around herself. The buried memory had plagued her mind as that was night she first learned promises and trust we're just words. The night she had known all along would change everything in her life completely.  
  
The desire to say nevermind and head back into her room strongly burned inside her, unable to take the flashbacks anymore. But as she pondered her decision knocks erupted from her door making her stomach drop. Knowing Murphy was on the other side of the door, Nolee stared at it with hesitation. Afraid of what could come if she opened that door again to him, afraid that somehow someway eventually Murphy could be capable of causing her the same pain. This was how badly she became a victim to her own thoughts.  
  
"Nolee? It's me lass." Murphy spoke softly from the other side. She remained hesitant still but after inhaling a deep breath she forced herself up and walked towards the door. A battle between mind and body fought viciously as she reached for the knob and twisted, revealing a smiling Murphy.  
  
"Aye well hello..." he spoke but his sentence fell flat as he eyed the small girl. His blue eyes twinkled while studying every part of her. "Ye look absolutely stunning love." he whispered speechless. Nolee blushed at seeing the Irishman seemingly lost for words.  
  
"Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself." she shyly responded while composing herself. Murphy had coincidentally worn a long sleeve black button up shirt underneath his coat. Still wearing his usual blue jeans and boots it didn't take away from his striking face.  
  
"Why thank ye lass." he smiled bowing slightly. "T'is is for you." he added holding up a single perfect red rose. Nolee couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips as she reached out to take it from him.  
  
"Thank you Murphy, it's beautiful." she replied kindly. "You're really putting on the charm tonight aren't you?" she teased.  
  
"Only for ye lass." he winked.  
  
"So what do you have planned for this date exactly Mr. MacManus?" she inquired curiously as he rolled his eyes upward pursing his lips.  
  
"Mm I'm afraid I can't say."  
  
"And why's that?"  
  
"Well if I told ye, t'at would take ta element of mystery away now wouldn't it?" he replied with his notorious smirk.  
  
"No funny business." she lightly warned raising an eyebrow.  
  
"No funny business." he assured smirk still in place. "Shall we go t'en?" he added holding his arm out in direction of the complex door. Nolee still eyed him carefully but began to move forward with him. Curiosity burned in her mind watching the Irishman wondering what exactly he planned. His feet had led them to the subway station, Nolee assuming whatever he had planned had to be downtown. But anytime she tried to ask for a hint he'd simply shrug.  
  
Her assumptions had proven to be right as the train stopped downtown and Murphy helped her back onto the platform and up to the city, admiring the nighttime scenery along the way until they stopped at their destination. Nolee recognized the very tall building of the Prudential Center, but had never been inside until now, seeing as Murphy began to lead her into the building. Walking past the many sculptures and art decor they reached the elevator at the end. Helping her inside Nolee side eyed Murphy once again as his finger pushed the number 52.  
  
"Umm...is t'ere a reason we're going up 52 floors?" she questioned nervously.  
  
"Yes lass, I thought we'd be spontaneous and bungee jump from ta building. Why ye afraid of heights?" Murphy retorted lightly as she glared at him.  
  
"Not funny."  
  
"We'll be safe inside ta building, don't worry alright?" he teased putting an arm around her waist. The elevator continued to move until it reached the final floor. Nolee's eyes widened in surprise when the doors opened revealing a restaurant.  
  
"Welcome to the Top of the Hub, can I have your reservation name please?" the hostess greeted.  
  
"MacManus." Murphy told her gently as she nodded and scanned through the list before her.  
  
"There you are, follow me please." she smiled leading them them to the right side of the restaurant. Stopping at the table closest to a corner Nolee gasped to herself upon realizing she could see the entire view of downtown Boston in all its glory from where they sat.  
  
"Oh wow," she whispered amazed.  
  
"Do ye still feel nervous being t'is high up now?" Murphy teased as she blushed and shrugged.  
  
"A little bit."  
  
"Well we won't be bungee jumpin' after all will we?"  
  
"Still not funny."  
  
"It is a little bit lass."  
  
Nolee shook her head at him before opening the menu. Her eyes scanned the menu and upon looking at the unfamiliar entree names, her stomach felt a pang of sudden guilt seeing the prices that were awfully expensive.  
  
"Murphy are you sure about this, this is really expen-"  
  
"Ye don't need ta worry about t'at." he interjected looking at her. "Just get whatever ye like."  
  
"But-"  
  
"I **said** don't worry." he emphasized to her raising his eyebrows before diverting his eyes back to his own menu. Nolee did the same awkwardly uneasy of him spending so much money on her, she never liked it. Tristan had never even gotten the chance to do the same for her, she'd always refuse.  
  
"Good evening welcome to the Hub. My name is Sarah and I'll be your server tonight, what can I get you started to drink?" the older red headed woman smiled at them both.  
  
"Can I have a water please?" Nolee asked her softly.  
  
"I'll just a take a Pepsi thank ye."  
  
"I'll be right back." Sarah nodded and Nolee could not mistake the flirty smile the waitress gave Murphy before walking off to get their drinks, making Nolee furrow her eyebrows in annoyance slightly.  
  
"I didn't know all this was up here." she admitted looking around. "It's something though."  
  
"It's one of ta little things you should definitely see when in Boston." Murphy explained.  
  
"Well thank you for taking me here."  
  
"Ye very welcome lass."  
  
The rest of the dinner had been exceptional the small girl had to admit. Having stuck with the safe choice of rice and chicken, Murphy had gotten the steak. She tried her best to not think about the expensive aspect of it and focus on Murphy instead. She realized in that moment how expressive he could be when telling stories, and how much he liked to tell stories, especially when it was about him and Connor being younger in Ireland. Nolee smiled a bit seeing the sparkle in his eyes each time he would talk about home. She was slowly starting to understand the distinction between him and his twin brother.  
  
When they finished their meals Nolee rubbed her stomach and sighed feeling full, given the kicks that jabbed her stomach rapidly she was sure the baby had enjoyed the meal too. Murphy paid the bill as she looked on dismay but he only gave a hand motion to her signaling her to look away. Overall she couldn't complain too much about the dinner and spending it with Murphy.  
  
"I take it ye liked ta dinner lass?" Murphy joked seeing her pace be much slower than when they walked in, she seemed more relaxed.  
  
"I did. Although this one seems to have enjoyed it more." she teased back pointing at her stomach.  
  
"Well I guess I did me job right t'en. Gotta make sure ye both are happy and fed." Murphy smiled rubbing her stomach while she tried not to melt completely at what he just said. Unaware of the smitten look on her face Murphy interlaced his hand with hers.  
  
"Come on, we got one more stop ta make."  
  
"Another surprise?" she asked shocked.  
  
"Ye."  
  
"But the dinner was more than enough trust me." Nolee answered guiltily running a hand through her hair.  
  
"I'm glad ye enjoyed it, but I told ye I wanted ta take ye on a proper date, so I'm doin' just that." was all Murphy had responded with. Making their way closer to the riverfront trail Murphy guided her down the steps that led deeper into the harbor. Nolee really began to question Murphy's motives wondering what could possibly be down below.  
  
Upon hitting the last step she looked around the dimly lit dock and laughed in shock.  
  
"No way..." she whispered looking at him. "A gondolaride?"  
  
"What, ye never been on one before?"  
  
"No I can't say I have." she admitted.  
  
"First time for everythin.'  
  
"Buonasera signora e signore benvenuto in Gondola di Venezia." the elder Italian man greeted them.  
_(Good evening madam and sir, welcome to Gondola di Venezia)_  
"Grazie." Murphy replied politely. "Un giro completo attorno al molo per favore." _(One full ride around the dock please.)_ he added in perfect Italian making Nolee's eyes widen as the man nodded and began to prepare the gondola. 

"We're you going to inform me you can apparently speak fluently in Italian?" Nolee noted baffled. 

"Ye didn't ask lass." Murphy shrugged with a smirk helping her onto the gondola. Nolee adjusted herself to the firm seating of the gondola nervously fumbling with her hands. The night had turned out so unexpectedly good she didn't know what to think. Murphy sure knew how to lay on the romantics thick, very much surprising her. 

" per favore non alzarti in piedi durante la corsa per la tua sicurezza." the gondola operator told them firmly.  _(Please don't stand up at any time during the ride for your safety.)_

__ "What did he say?" Nolee questioned looking at Murphy for translation.  


  
"He said don't jump into ta river or ta piranhas will get ye."   
  
"WHAT?!"   
  
"I'm just kiddin' lass, Christ."   
  
"Murphy!"   
  
Aside from Murphy nearly giving her a heart attack the gondola had been an experience like no other. The boat gently flowed against the Charles River while the lights of city twinkled all around. Nolee was a loss for words seeing the city at this angle not realizing just how beautiful Boston truly was. For the very first time since she moved here, she did not miss Phoenix one bit. Murphy and her didn't speak much during the ride but his hand had caressed her thigh, both of them enjoying the tranquil sound of water.   
  
"So..." she finally whispered.   
  
"So...?" Murphy teased looking at her.  


  
"Is this where you take all the girls to woo them?" she joked but deep inside she was genuinely curious.

  
"Nah, you're ta first actually." Murphy explained quietly surprising her.   
  
"W-why?" she whispered. "How come you're doing this for me?" she questioned feeling the guilt start back up.   
  
"Because ye worth it." he whispered looking into her eyes. 

"And I can tell no one has ever made ye think so...but ye are." he added causing her to look at her feet.  


  
"I'm not that special Murphy."    
  
"Don't ye ever say t'at again." Murphy responded firmly narrowing his eyes at her. "Ye very special to me." he assured. Nolee had a strong urge to scream at him "But why?" unable to understand why he liked her so much but kept the urge at bay.    
  
The gondola ride had finished its course and Murphy helped her off the boat before thanking the operator one last time. Unsure of what time is was, she knew it had to have been pretty late as they headed back towards the subway. Nolee was still in a trance replaying the nights events over. The 'date' was far more than she'd had in the past and if she was honest with herself, it certainly had trumped any date she'd had with Tristan. The actual planning of it all had struck her the most, that Murphy had really taken the time to plan the whole thing out...for her.  


  
She rubbed her stomach as habit when she had lost herself in her thoughts. Everything had been damn near perfect. When the train had halted and they swiftly stepped off, she was nervous at what would follow. Murphy had walked her back to her apartment wrapping his coat around when he noticed she was starting to shiver. Nolee looked at him gratefully giving him a smile in return while they continued the rest of their journey.    
  
Upon reaching her apartment door she stopped and slowly turned to face him. Murphy kept his gaze on her but did not speak a word. It was almost as if a switch had been hit and Nolee suddenly found herself lost in his eyes. A huge contrast to how she felt the night before, it confused her how much he managed to charm her and now she was almost...craving him. 

Murphy seemed to pick up on her vibes as he continued to remain silent but brought her close to him. His eyes rolled down to her lips and it appeared as if he were battling with himself. 

Perhaps he was feeling the similar crave she did, an unknown force deciding to toy with the both of them. The force far stronger than what had almost taken place in her kitchen. 

Murphy seemed to have lost the battle and pressed his lips against hers. Nolee didn't hesitate to kiss him back this time, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Murphy grabbed her by the hips as he deepened the kiss momentarily before his hand had opened her apartment door and guided her inside. When the door was shut he pushed her back against the surface gently. Feeling confident that she was making no protests Murphy kissed her several more times before lifting her up into his arms.    
  
Nolee gasped at how easily he managed to lift her she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck to not fall. Murphy made his way into her bedroom and carefully laid her down on the bed. His body hovering over her small frame while she looked up at him temporarily dazed. In the dark room the minimal light of the moon had illuminated half his face. Murphy leaned his head back down and began kissing her again. His hands caressed her thighs and her breathing began to pick up when he lips traveled south down her jaw to her neck. Nolee closed her eyes feeling content at his lips kissing the soft flesh of her neck, delicately biting it.

Her hands massaged his chest as she slipped deeper into the trance Murphy was putting her in. Maybe just maybe Murphy was allowing her to open up. 

But when she made the mistake of opening her eyes, the trance had quickly dissipated. It was like a joke being pulled on her as her eyes widen in horror. Eyes that in that moment could only see Tristan staring back at her. His sinister brown eyes boring into her soul, his lips curved into a twisted smile. All the anxiety and fear she  suppressed had come full circle as his hands reached out to grab her.

_'You're my special girl Nolee.'_ he whispered laughing darkly causing her to gasp and push him away, when in reality she had pushed Murphy off of her. 

"Stop."

"What's wrong love?" Murphy questioned concerned at her sudden change. Nolee felt tears start to build while she studied Murphy carefully.

"Murphy I need you to leave." she whispered. 

"Why was it somethin' I did?" 

"Please just leave..." she pleaded not wanting to deal with the situation any further.

"Nolee I'm not understandin,' just talk ta me-"

"I said leave Murphy!" she shouted at him in frustration through her tears. Even with the dim reflection of the moon she could see the hurt and confusion spread over his face. Nolee felt her stomach twist with guilt and shame but said nothing more. 

"Fine." was all he whispered to her before slowly getting off her bed and leaving the apartment. Nolee bit her lip as she watched him, wincing when she heard her door slam shut sending her into hysterics. 

Why did she still have to feel this way, why did he still manage to control her thoughts? 

All the new progress she had made was shattered once again. She was so close yet so far to getting herself out the abyss of her pain. Her head collapsed into her hands while she broke down.

Aware that she inevitably may have just damaged everything with Murphy beyond repair.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. Damaged Goods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then what do I do? How do I stop this?"

Nothing but sobs had filled the quiet room as Nolee clutched her pillow tightly to her chest. Her breathing was unsteady and as she tried to calm herself down but to no avail. Praying for a silver lining that seemed nearly impossible. The fear of forever being a prisoner to own thoughts, she just wanted to escape. She didn't want to remember the past anymore, she didn't want to feel the pain anymore. Why couldn't she just stop?  
  
She had tried so hard to build herself up back when she moved to Boston. She might not have had much hope but it was enough to keep her going. Now, she felt more lost than when she started. Why did Murphy have to come along and mess up her plans?  
  
Nolee manage to quiet her sobs before slowly sitting up from her bed. Murphy was long gone and she was once again left alone in her demise. In a moment of desperation she slid off the bed and reached for her coat. Locking her apartment door Nolee went back into the night and allowed her feet to guide her until she ultimately ended up at Kira's doorstep. Nolee knocked hurriedly at the door, hoping the tall brunette would answer.  
  
After a few moments she heard the chain being unlatched and the door open revealing a groggy and grumpy Kira.  
  
"N-Nolee?" Kira asked tiredly. "What are you doing here so late?"  
  
Nolee couldn't control herself as she broke down in hysterics again. Kira's senses had become alert as she gasped and pulled the small girl into her arms.  
  
"Nolee, what's the matter sweetie? Are you okay, is the baby okay?" she began to panic.  
  
"The...baby...is...okay..." she managed to answer through her sobs.  
  
"Then what's wrong? You're scaring me." Kira questioned fearfully. Nolee inhaled deep breaths as she lifted her head and tried to compose herself.  
  
"It's Murphy." she whispered.  
  
"What happened with Murphy? Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you?" Kira demanded thinking the worst as she pulled the girl into her apartment. Nolee shook her head as more tears slipped down her cheeks.  
  
"No, he didn't do anything. It's...it's my fault."  
  
"Come here." Kira told her while guiding her to the couch and sitting her down. "What do you mean it's your fault? Did something happen with your date?"  
  
Nolee explained everything that had transpired previously. How the date with Murphy had been wonderful and more than she expected it to be, how amazing the dinner and the gondola ride was. How sweet and charming he had been, almost as if he had casted a spell on her. Her voice cracked as she got to the part of her and Murphy kissing. How it was about to lead to more and for a split second Nolee had no objections until Tristan had suddenly invaded her mind. A rush of her anxiety came back to haunt her seeing his face instead of Murphy's.  
  
"Oh Nolee." Kira sighed unsure of what so say. "You're still having bad memories about your ex?" Nolee slowly nodded while the taller girl shook her head. "I was worried this was going to happen." Kira added frowning as the small looked down at the floor ashamed.  
  
"Nolee...I've tried to hold my tongue and be supportive of whatever Murphy and you are becoming. But...whatever is bothering you you have to let go of it. Whatever pain your ex caused you need to let go or it's only going to continue to get in the way of you and Murphy." Kira reasoned as the small girl shut her eyes. She wanted so badly to look at Kira and tell her it was because Tristan had been abusive. That he had treated her far more terribly than Nolee had initially led her to believe. That he had a become a real life monster from the stories she read as a kid, and now she didn't know how to deal with the aftermath. But her voice would not speak up, and she swallowed it down. She had already possibly ruined things with Murphy, she couldn't bare to lose Kira too.  
  
"I'm trying so hard, but you don't understand Kira."  
  
"I do understand Nolee, I do. But you need to realize how much this affecting you and making you push others away. Murphy is not your ex sweetie, you can't allow his memory to taint your present."  
  
"Then what do I do? How do I stop this?" Nolee pleaded for answer. Kira sighed as she pulled the girl in for a hug and stroked her in a motherly way.  
  
"You need to be honest with Murphy and you need to be honest with yourself. Give him the chance to understand why you feel the way you do. You can't fully start the healing process if you don't open up."  
  
"But..what if he doesn't understand? What if he realizes I'm damaged goods and there's not point?"  
  
"Damaged goods?" Kira replied confused staring at me. "What do you mean damage goods Nolee?"  
  
"There's just a lot of things..."  
  
"You're NOT damaged goods do you hear me?" Kira interjected firmly narrowing her eyes at the smaller girl. Nolee felt her chest tighten once again wanting to release more cries. "Please don't upset yourself sweetie, you're going to stress out the baby. You _need_ to relax." she added while Nolee tried her best to listen and stop herself knowing Kira was right, about everything. Her mind felt heavy at the revelation and whether she could get herself to talk to Murphy again, seemed unlikely.  
  
"Come on, how about I get you some clothes to change into and I'll make you some tea to calm you down okay?" Kira offered as Nolee slowly nodded. The tall girl helped her up on her feet and led her to her bedroom before searching for clothes. Kira found a large oversized sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants, handing it to Nolee. "Here you can wear this and when you're done go ahead and lay down. I'll get the tea ready." Kira smiled sympathetically before exiting her room leaving Nolee to change. When she had finished, she listened to Kira and climbed into the plush lavender bed.  
  
Even though her mind was still a wreck she felt a bit better being in Kira's bed, not alone for once. Kira hadn't taken long before she back in the room with a cup of tea.  
  
"Here you go." Kira smiled sightly as she handed her the cup. Nolee smiled gratefully and sipped the tea letting the chamomile relax her throat. She sipped slowly while Kira had put on the television probably to distract for a while.  
  
By the time Pretty Woman had ended both girls were finally sleepy. Nolee snuggled under Kira's soft bedspread letting the drowsiness spread throughout her body. As her head rested on the fluffy pillow Nolee chewed on her lip.  
  
"Kira...?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What if Murphy doesn't want to talk to me anymore?" she whispered into the dim room. She heard Kira softly before she a hand rub her shoulder.  
  
"If Murphy is the guy I think he is, he will talk to you. Until then, you really need to rest." Kira whispered back as Nolee inhaled a deep breath but listening to the girl. Burrowing herself further into bed, she allowed to the sleepiness to fully take over.  
___  
  
The next morning Nolee had been awoken by the bright steak of sunlight peering through Kira's window. Not used to waking up in someone else's apartment Nolee felt slightly unease. Her head turned to the nightstand before her, gasping when realized the clock read 9:30 am. She was an hour and a half late to work, why didn't Kira wake her up?!  
  
Just as she was ready to nearly jump out the bed she noticed a note beside on the bed. Reaching out to pick out she recognized Kira's fancy penmanship.  
  
 _Don't worry about coming into today, I'll talk to Cosmo. Think it's best if you take the day off to rest. Feel free to stay here if you don't feel like heading back home. I'll see you later - K._  
Nolee felt unsure of Kira letting her have the day off and contemplated going in to work anyways. Taking a day off felt unnatural to her, but maybe Kira was right. She wasn't exactly in a rush to face Murphy anyways, although she doubted he'd come by the shop today.  
  
Still groggy from last night's episode Nolee took her time making the effort to head home. Instead she walked around Kira's apartment before making herself some more tea and toast with peanut butter. Sitting on the couch and turning on the television in the living room Nolee smiled herself as she put on more Law & Order comfortably eating her toast. It was the spot she remained in for the most of the day, feeling safe as if she were in a little bubble she didn't want to leave it. Unaware of the time it was when she felt her eyes to start get heavy again she slipped into another sleep coma on the couch.  
  
When she woke up for the second time her eyes fluttered sitting back up. The nap had made her feel a bit better and less groggy.  
  
"So basically I wasted the whole day." she lamented staring at the clock, judging herself mentally a bit for being unproductive for today. Figuring Kira would be home soon she decided to get up off her bottom and be useful. Maybe she'd even try to cook dinner for Kira as thanks for letting her stay at her apartment. Rummaging through Kira's kitchen she decided spaghetti was the safest bet. Halfway through of cooking the noodles she heard knocks erupt the door. Sighing as she made her to the door she opened it swiftly a smirk on her face.  
  
"Did you forget your key again Ki-" she trailed off her sentence when she realized Murphy was standing at the door.  
  
"How do you know where Kira lives?" she whispered confused as he stared at her sternly.  
  
"I asked her. We need ta talk **, now.** "


	18. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please just give up on me Murphy."

"I asked her. We need ta talk **, now.** " he demanded making her freeze up. His dark blue eyes held something she couldn't identify, a stark contrast from last night. Knowing she wouldn't be able to get out of this she sighed looking down.  
  
"Okay, but let's go back to my place." she told him gently as means of stalling. Murphy nodded and waited for her to grab her keys from Kira's bedroom. Nervously she met him back at the door where he continued to stare at her the way he was, she walked past him and both of them made their way back to Nolee's apartment in silence. She could feel Murphy's eyes burning a hole into her but she kept gaze in front of her. Reaching the apartment she slowly opened the door allowing him to enter.  
  
Closing and locking the door behind her Murphy turned around to face her expectantly.  
  
"What do you want to talk about?" she meekly asked.  
  
"I think ye know what I want ta talk about." Murphy replied shortly. "What happened last night?"  
  
"I just..."  
  
"Cause I thought we had a good time up until we came back here. T'ere was a change in ye, I could see it. I want ye ta tell me what's goin' on." Murphy explained as her nerves became on edge of being put on the spot.  
  
"Murphy, there's a lot about me you wouldn't understand."  
  
"T'en how bout ye try explaining ta me, because I'm tryin' me best to patient Nolee but-"  
  
"But what?" she questioned cutting him off as he sighed at her.  
  
"I'm startin' think t'eres more ta ye than just movin' ta Boston ta start over. T'eres somethin' else innit?" Murphy begin to catch on as her defenses started to come up on their own. Afraid, Nolee turned away from him.  
  
"Don't turn away from me lass." Murphy huffed in annoyance reaching out to grab her hand but Nolee pulled back instinctively at his tone, wincing when he came closer to her. Nolee had prayed he didn't notice but the look on his face said otherwise. She could see the lights going off in his head as if it all began to click.  
  
"Who hurt you?" he whispered knowingly. Nolee's eyes welled up with tears while avoiding contact with him.  
  
"No one..."  
  
"Tell me ta truth Nolee." he replied firmly. "Please lass, I won't think of ye any different. But if we're gonna try and make this work, you have ta open up ta me. I just want ta help, I can't do t'at if you don't let me in. **Who hurt you?** " he asked again emphasizing the last part. Nolee's lip trembled as she willed herself to try and speak.  
  
"It was my ex..." she whispered. "The baby's father."  
  
"What did he do?" Murphy questioned carefully. Nolee gritted her teeth blinking away the stinging sensation in her eyes. Murphy reached out to touch hold her hand reassuringly, his movement much slower this time to not startle her. "It's okay love, talk ta me.I'm here."  
  
"I have to start at the beginning." she whispered once more as he nodded patiently.  
  
"My ex Tristan...we met in high school. He had moved from Nebraska to Phoenix and one day when I was running late to school I tripped and spilled my books everywhere, Tristan had helped me. When we met...I was instantly attracted to him. He was unlike all the boys at my school, there was just something alluring about him. It seemed cliche but after we met and I walked him to class, we just started hanging out. Pretty soon we were together all the time and the more I got to know him...I fell for him. He made me feel things I had never felt before and lucky for me, he felt the same way. So magically we became a couple and everyday I spent with him... I was so happy. But after we graduated high school...that's when it all changed." she explained inhaling a deep breath and Murphy could see she was struggling to continue.  
  
"It's okay love." he repeated reassuringly.  
  
"Everything changed when Tristan met Johnny at one of our mutual friends' party. For some strange reason the two hit it off...and Johnny being a well known  gang member and criminal...he somehow sunk his claws into Tristan. I don't know how he did it, but he charmed Tristan into his lifestyle. A lifestyle of crime and drugs. Tristan promised me he wouldn't get involved with him, but obviously that was a lie. The more he started to be around him...the more he changed and that's when I learned the hard way Tristan started doing drugs too, but by the time I found that out...that's when he started to beat me..." she whispered as tears fell.  
  
"He abused me often physically, mentally, and verbally. I was too scared to leave him. He became so different...not the sweet caring guy I had first met, but a monster. He forced me to hang around them too and I never wanted to. They were dirty sadistic criminals, I don't how Tristan wanted to be apart of this. But it became clear it was the money motivating him. Johnny made Tristan a member of his crew and it wasn't long before he was doing dealings for him. Tristan promised me it was to help us for our future but it was a lie. I was terrified to be with him, but I was even more scared to leave. The person he had become and the sources he had, I didn't want to think about what he was capable of at this point. I stayed because I didn't know any better. My family...wasn't much of a family, mainly after my mother died. I loved him so much I really thought he was my true love...but all he did was hurt me. I knew eventually I needed to leave him but I didn't know how...until..." she trailed off closing her eyes as she clutched her stomach.  
  
"Until the day I found out I was pregnant."  
  
 __  
"You stupid bitch! You can never do anything right!" he shouted before Nolee felt the stinging sensation of the back of his hand colliding against her cheek. She gasped as tears filled her eyes and her hand immediately cradled the assaulted area. The slaps had become routine to her, but the physical aspect didn't get easier. Nolee didn't know any better, she never knew life shouldn't be this way. Tristan snarled and gripped both of her arms harshly.

"Why do you love to purposely piss me off Nolee? Why do you make me do this?"

"Tristan please stop, you're hurting me." she pleaded attempting to break free from his grasp, knowing it was futile.

"I wouldn't have to hurt you if you just fucking listened!" he retorted and shoved her to the ground. Nolee whimpered as she fell on her side. The cold feel of the hard wood floor and the pain in her side sent a moment of realization to her mind as she looked up into his cold eyes.

This was it, this couldn't continue.

"When will you fucking learn?" was all he said to her before he lifted his leg to her stomach while she screamed. Nolee instinctively put her hands in front of her stomach to protect it, her hands taking the kick. Angering Tristan by her action he attempted to kick her again, but before he could Nolee had managed to push herself up in time as she ran to the front door grabbing the bag she secretly kept from behind the shoe rack and darted out the door never looking back.  
"A long time ago I had a bag packed...just in case I got the courage to leave. But then I found out I was pregnant, I really didn't know what to do. Did I try and make it work, hoping he would somehow change for the sake of the baby? I know I might sound dumb, but you have to understand the state I was in. That night though...when Tristan came home angry again...he tried to kick me in the stomach twice. It was then I knew I had to escape forever, I had to protect my baby. So I ran away, the money I saved without him knowing, I used that to get to Boston." Nolee confessed as tears spilled down her cheek. Murphy felt his stomach twist as he pulled the girl into his arms.  
  
"It all makes sense now, Nolee I'm sorry." he whispered. "I'm so sorry." he repeated to her as Nolee wept in his arms. Even though she came clean it didn't help her to feel any better in that moment. "I had no idea it was t'at bad for ye."  
  
"Please just give up on me Murphy." she whispered after a while.  
  
"I can't do t'at. I **won't**  do t'at." Murphy replied with gritted teeth.  
  
"But why? Why do you want someone like me? I'm messed up, I'm damaged can't you see that?" she sobbed looking up at him. Murphy sighed as his hands had now cradled the sides of her head.  
  
"Just temporarily Nolee." he replied gently. "Ye have no idea how much ye mean ta me and how different me life's been ever since ye became apart of it. I promise I will help ye recover, we'll do it together."  
  
"What if it takes me a long time, you really want to stick around for that?" she lamented.  
  
"I'll wait forever if that's what it took lass. But ye should already know I'm not ta type to give up, and t'eres no way in hell I'm about ta now." Murphy declared as she trembled in his arms burying her face into the crook of the Irishman's neck. Murphy lifted her up in his arms as he carried her to the couch and sat down so his hands were cradling her body. Nolee's nerves were still tense but as Murphy held her to him and stroked her hair she relaxed some. Unable to believe she had came clean, the weight was supposed to be lifted.  
  
But it didn't. She knew it magically wouldn't go away as soon as she confessed to him, it would take time. Together they sat in silence for a while on the couch as his hands caressed her tenderly.  
  
"I'm scared that one day...he'll find me. I'm scared he'll hurt me and my baby. He doesn't know I was pregnant when I left." she admitted after the brief silence. She felt Murphy shift underneath uneasily, his face hardening as he cupped her face.  
  
"T'at will never happen. I swear on me life Nolee, I will do absolutely anythin' to protect ye both. T'at piece of shit will never get ta chance ta hurt ye again." Murphy assured squeezing her tighter. Nolee curled into his chest and that was where she remained for the rest of evening. She didn't want to leave his grasp but Murphy had persuaded her she needed to eat something. Making the both of them sandwiches Nolee stayed in his eyesight watching him work in her kitchen.  
  
When they finished eating Murphy brought her back to her bed and resumed his position of holding her. Her brown eyes kept focus on his blue ones part of her still in disbelief that the Irishman had really become a piece of her life. A part of her in disbelief that he seemed to be the silver lining she didn't know she needed and for a second she wondered if it was her imagination that he was here with her. Slowly she reached out to touch his cheek to prove it wasn't all in her head. Reading her thoughts Murphy kissed her wrist.  
  
"Ye can rest easy now me love, I'm here."  
____  
  
  
  



	19. The Blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are ye just tryin' ta butter me up or what?"

And standing by his word, that was where Murphy remained. As the Boston skies transcended into a chilly winter, Nolee began to accept him in her in everyday life more and more. The Irishman had now seem to be at her apartment almost everyday and Nolee was okay with that. Because every time he was at her apartment he would wrap those long arms of his around her. And slowly Nolee came to love those warms, the unsettling fear in her mind that slowly she was getting attached to him.  
  
Because getting attached meant the possibility of getting your heart broken. But everytime her doubts would flare up, his hands were right there to change her mind. Hands that rested protectively over her and her stomach, Nolee felt...safe. While her journey was nowhere near over, for right now she'd let herself be here with him.  
  
For the past few nights that occured since she told him the truth about her past, Murphy's hands would randomly run up and down her body, touching every single inch of her.  
  
"What are you doing?" she finally decided to ask him about it. Though she was confused, she half smiled at the Irishman's random actions. Murphy only smiled as he ran his hands slowly down her face.  
  
"You've had hands put on ye t'at wanted ta hurt ye. But these hands...they will always care for ye."  
_____  
  
  
December may have only been a week in but Christmas seemed to be in full effect, giving the Christmas songs that played absolutely everywhere since Thanksgiving. Nolee felt indifferent watching the diversity of people rush around and be in even more of hurry than they already were. Weren't the holidays supposed to be cheerful? It only made people dash around madly and focus more on material gifts than the actual essence of Christmas, maybe that was why she started to like the holidays less and less.  
  
"You don't seem too excited about all t'is." Murphy teased pointing at the various holiday decorations and displays, noting the indifferent expression on Nolee's face. Walking through the city of her neighborhood while she tended to errands, Murphy was kind enough to keep her company.  
  
"Holidays just aren't what they used to be ya know?" Nolee replied shrugging.  
  
"I suppose so. T'ats why I tend ta miss Christmas in Ireland, we still value ta spirit of it, not ta just ta gifts. We're even more festive than t'is if ye can imagine it."  
  
"Do you have different traditions there for Christmas?" Nolee asked genuinely curious.  
  
"We do a couple things differently, technically Christmas starts on ta 8th for ta Irish. Also ta 26th is a holiday that Northern Ireland calls 'Boxing Day,' although it's also referred to as 'St. Stephen's Day.' Like here in ta states, t'eres many events held for charities. Interestingly enough tho' January 6th is ta official last day of Christmas. Traditionally it's also ta day women refrain from all housework and chores. Ta men of ta house are ta be ta ones who do them, as well as taking down ta decorations and cooking ta meals. It's considered bad luck if they don't."  
  
"Now _that's_ something I would like to participate in." Nolee teased while the both of them laughed.  
  
"Our ma definitely enjoyed t'at day with Connor and I."  
  
"Too bad we don't have that kind of stuff here. Our traditions are things like stringing popcorn together or making gingerbread houses."  
  
"Stringin' popcorn?" Murphy replied confused as Nolee giggled again.  
  
"Yeah you string along popcorn and wrap them around the Christmas tree as a garland." she explained.  
  
"Hmm, don't think I've ever heard of t'at one. Although I admit I love me some gingerbread, nothin'  compares to me Ma's Christmas Puddin.'  
  
"Christmas in Ireland sounds intriguing, maybe one day I'll get to experience it."  
  
"Maybe lass."  
  
As the pair walked hand in hand window shopping a store filled with baby items came into Nolee's view making her stop. A twinge of overwhelment filled her stomach staring at the many clothes and furniture. Now that she was more or less six months in to her pregnancy, she knew it was probably time to start buying things.  
  
"I have no idea to where to begin. All these clothes." she said aloud feeling frazzled.  
  
"T'at is quite a lot of stuff." Murphy agreed his dark blue eyes widening at the items himself.  
  
"Maybe it's time I start buying stuff. I have sort of put it off as long as possible now." she admitted running a hand through her hair.  
  
"Well on ta bright side ye already know it's a wee little girl, so t'at eliminates half ta store right t'ere." Murphy said optimistically as she couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Can't say you're not wrong."  
  
"I'm never wrong love."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Nolee retorted half rolling her eyes but smiling. "Do you mind if I look around and maybe get an idea of what to get?"  
  
"Not all." Murphy shrugged as they walked into the store. Nolee's eyes wandered around the clothes and bit her lip as she scanned through them. So many sizes, so many colors, how could she choose?  
  
"Christ, t'eres so much stuff. My Ma just let Connor and I run around ta house naked as young lads."  
  
"I can't say I'm surprised Murphy." Nolee teased returning her gaze back to the task at hand sighing. She knew the basic needs of a baby yet here in the moment she had no idea where to start. Looking at Murphy he seemed just as loss as she was.  
  
Perhaps they were radiating  ' **okay,  but what the fuck do we actually do?'** vibes but as if an angel in the form of a saleslady had seemed to read their minds.  
  
"I know that look well by now, first time parents?" a blue eyed slender woman with blonde hair cut into a bob asked as they approached them. Nolee certainly found the woman to be angelic despite her ordinary name tag that read 'Susan.'  
  
"Umm...is it obvious?" Nolee replied embarrassed while Julia smiled.  
  
"Pretty much, but that's to be expected. After all there's no manual for parenting, though don't we wish. Would you both perhaps like a list of things you typically need in the first months?"  
  
"That would be amazing." Nolee sighed in relief as Julia laughed but nodded.  
  
"I'll get you the list, don't you worry."  
  
After Julia helped the overwhelmed couple, Nolee felt a bit calmer having a better idea of what she needed. She managed to check off half the list and felt somewhat successful, the bigger things like highchairs and rockers would have to come later though.  
  
"Who knew a little person needed so many t'ings." Murphy told her as he stared at the items Nolee picked out.  
  
"They need a lot of things." Nolee agreed tiredly already feeling winded from the day.  
  
"And ta think a while ago you were questioning your Ma abilities, now look at ye gettin' prepared." Murphy smirked as she blushed.  
  
"We'll see how I do when she actually comes, I'm still doubtful." Nolee admitted grabbing the bags after paying and as she turned to exit the store Murphy grabbed her hand.  
  
"Ye made ta brave choice to get ye self out of a horrible situation for both your safety. Sounds like one hell of a Ma ta me." Murphy reasoned catching her off guard. She was finding it hard to keep up with the new perspectives Murphy would seem to show her. He was essentially breaking down everything she had thought she'd ever known.  
  
"Thank you Murphy...that means a lot to me." she whispered back biting the inside of her lip.  
  
"No need ta thank me lass, just callin' it how I see it. Now come on, all t'is shoppin' has made me famished." Murphy groaned as she laughed but nodded.  
  
"Fair enough."  
  
Getting takeout for the trip home Nolee decided to be nice and let Murphy pick the food they ate, to which he chose pizza naturally. Spending the evening watching his favorite action movies, Nolee bared through them all for the sake of his enjoyment.  
  
Watching him sleep soundly next to her Nolee gingerly touched his disheveled dark brown hair. Of all the beautiful places in Boston he still chose her. Not sure what led her mind to think back to the waitress at the hub, but she couldn't help but recall the flirty look on the waitress' face. Even though Murphy was completely oblivious, Nolee felt a small pang of jealousy go through her knowing Murphy was desired. That out of the pretty girls in Boston, Murphy still picked her. That even though the notion of that should be endearing, it made her insecurities appear, what if he found another girl later on? Someone who wasn't pregnant and didn't have so much baggage?  
  
"Stop it... just stop." she whispered to her mind in a plea to stop the anxiety. Murphy was here with her now and that was all that mattered. Sighing as she touched his cheek, she was unable to keep one thought at bay. If things were really going to be official between him and her, if she was really going to let Murphy be a permanent part of her life, she wanted all roadblocks gone. Confident she knew what do next, Nolee quietly snuck out her bed leaving Murphy alone. She knew just who she needed to speak to.  
  
Carefully walking to the phone on the wall and picking it off the hook, she dialed in the familiar numbers.  
  
"Hello...?" the voice on the other end answered.  
  
"Connor? It's me, Nolee."  
____  
  
The next morning Murphy walked Nolee to work like per usual, her eyes sneaking glances at him periodically as her mind thought about her plan. Even though she wasn't planning anything too sneaky or suspicious, it still made her nervous.  
  
"Hey, so there's something I have to do tonight." she told him when they reached Cosmo's.  
  
"Okay, what is it?" Murphy asked calmly.  
  
"I can't tell you..." she replied biting her lip as he raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
"And why not?" Murphy questioned concerned.  
  
"It's just something I have to do okay? I promise it's nothing dangerous." she assured him placing the flat of her palm on his chest affectionately. Murphy still looked at her suspiciously before finally nodding his head.  
  
"Alright fine, I'll probably go visit Rocco t'en."  
  
"AKA McGinty's?" she teased raising an eyebrow of her own.  
  
"I plead ta fifth lass." he retorted causing her to laugh.  
  
"Fine, just be careful at the bar. I'll call you when I'm finished, sound good?"  
  
"Ye, sounds good." he shrugged giving her a kiss. "Be safe, please."  
  
"I promise I will." she assured him once more being the one to give him a kiss this time, Murphy grinned in response.  
  
"See ye later t'en love."  
  
"Bye Murphy." she told him giving him a wave as he walked off. Nolee inhaled a deep breath before stepping inside the shop. The morning had been pretty standard like most days, clean out the muffins and make new scones. Nolee had at least enjoyed the morning making blueberry cheesecake bars. After the lunchtime crowd did their usual hustle and bustle, Nolee was thankful for the ten minute break. It was always calm after the storm once lunchtime rush ended, the rest of the day would sail by much smoother. Sipping small gulps from her bottled water, her eyes shifted to the clock.  
  
"Whatcha keep staring at the clock so focused for?" Kira interrogated eyeing her friend.  
  
"No reason."  
  
"Mhm, I know that look. You've got something planned, so spill." Kira demanded coming closer to where Nolee stood. "Let me guess, it has to do with Murphy?"  
  
"Umm...surprisingly this time, it concerns the other brother."  
  
"Other brother...what are you talking-"  
  
"So t'is be the place me brudder got swept off his feet?" Connor's voice spoke as both girls looked in his direction while he walked sauntered over to the register. "Though I'm startin' ta see why now, Murph didn't tell me _all_ the ladies here were gorgeous." he added turning his gaze to Kira who unusually seemed thrown off.  
  
"Umm.I...umm...hee hee." Kira stuttered on her words and giggling nervously while Nolee furrowed her brows at the taller brunette. For someone naturally poised, Kira was acting the total opposite.  
  
"Hi Connor." Nolee responded to the spiky haired Irishman. "Thank you for meeting me here."  
  
"Well, ye welcome I guess. Although I'll have ye know I'm missin' me Charlie Bronson marathon." Connor lamented.  
  
"I promise I'll make it up to you. Did Murphy go see Rocco?"  
  
"He did." Connor nodded while both of them were unaware of the Jeopardy thinking song seeming to play in Kira's mind as she came out her reverie and put all the pieces together.  
  
"Wait, _you're_ Connor? Murphy's brother?" Kira asked shocked.  
  
"Guilty as charged me lady. But just to clarify, I'm the **older**  and **more handsome** twin brudder." Connor winked at her while Nolee rolled her eyes at the never ending battle the brothers seemed to have and simultaneously portraying Mr. Charming in this moment.  
  
"T-Twins?" Kira stammered shooting daggers at Nolee as if to say _'Why the fuck didn't you tell me they were twins and Connor was so hot?"_  
  
"Slipped my mind." Nolee mouthed shrugging with a smirk, Kira only shook her head angrily.  
"So, you ready to go?" she asked turning her gaze back to Connor.  
  
"Ready when ye are lass."  
  
"Let me just get my bag." Nolee smiled as she took her apron off. "Kira, can you do me a huge favor and close by yourself tonight?" she whispered both of them eyeing Connor who stared up at the menu oblivious to the girls, but the confused expression reminded Nolee exactly of Murphy's face when he first came into the coffee shop that one day.  
  
"What the fuck is going on, why didn't you tell me they were twins! You really weren't going to inform me on that hot piece of ass standing right there?! I've never been so hurt in my life."  
  
"Oh my god, are you really doing this right now? What about Brian huh?" Nolee questioned.  
  
"Brian who? I've never seen so much sex on a stick before." Kira replied holding a hand over her heart as Nolee rolled her eyes.  
  
"I have to take care of something, please just close tonight? I'll make it up to you." Nolee assured as the taller brunette huffed.  
  
"Fine, but you **better**. I don't think I've ever wanted Irish in me so badly until now."  
  
"That was truly unnecessary, but thank you." Nolee sighed grabbing her purse. "Okay Connor, I'm ready now."  
  
"Hmm? Oh okay." Connor replied no longer oblivious smirking at the girls. Connor walked closer to the counter and reached out to grab Kira's hand. "Hope ta see you again me lady." he whispered charmingly kissing the top of her hand.  
  
This day in history Nolee witnessed the dignified and poised Kira Martin almost faint.  
__  
  
"So what ye draggin' me out ta apartment for?" Connor questioned as they had began to walk.  
  
"How about we get a bite to eat first?" Nolee suggested smiling extra enthusiastic at the other MacManus brother. "You can pick."  
  
"Alright, fine." Connor replied taking the lead. Twenty minutes later Nolee found herself at the same burger joint Murphy had taken her to the first time she hung out with him. Alice of course greeted them excitedly, seemingly to be just as fond of Connor as she was with Murphy. Sitting down in the farthest booth of the diner, Nolee fiddled her hands nervously.  
  
"Get whatever you want, it's my treat." Nolee told him as the Irishman narrowed his eyes at her.  
  
"Are ye just tryin' ta butter me up or what?"  
  
"Well...I know you more or less hate me. So,  I thought maybe I would attempt to get to know you better and we could make some sort of peace." Nolee explained smiling awkwardly. Connor kept his eyes at her for a brief second but scoffed gently.  
  
"I don't hate ye lass." Connor clarified. "But naturally I have me doubts, it's kinda me job ta be protective of me twin brudder."  
  
"I understand that completely. I know that me being pregnant isn't the most ideal situation." the small girl admitted.  
  
"It's unconventional, let's be honest. But, t'ats not ta main reason why I feel...concerned."  
  
"What's the other reason...?" Nolee inquired nervously. Connor ran a hand through his spiky hair and sighed once more as if he was having difficulty putting the words together.  
  
"Look Nolee, Murphy is...impulsive. Always has been, ever since we were born. He doesn't always tend ta think things through, he just likes to live in ta moment. Because of t'at, he's found himself in sticky situations obviously, those of which I usually end up havin' ta fix." he explained rolling his eyes. "Murphy's made some dumb decisions in his past relationships...but...ta way he acts with you...I've never see him act like t'at with ta others."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" she questioned once more in hesitation.  
  
"It means I've never seen him actually care about someone t'is much. Ta other women Murphy treated them with respect of course, but his heart was never fully in it. Ta see him this way now, it's a little alarming. He's completely wrapped around ye finger." Connor added apprehensive while the revelation made Nolee's stomach flutter.  
  
"Because of t'at, I want ta make sure Murphy isn't being impulsive again. T'at ta way he feels...is because it's how he truly feels."  
  
Nolee inhaled a deep breath soaking up his words and trying to process them. She wasn't expecting Connor to say what he did. But as she put it all together in her mind, she couldn't help the smile that formed.  
  
"Tell me everything about Murphy."  
  
"What do ye mean lass?"  
  
"Tell me all his qualities, all his flaws, I want to know absolutely everything."  
  
"Murphy is spontaneous and dangerously curious. Sometimes he doesn't always know when ta give up, and with t'at his emotions can get ta best of him. He's an incredibly stubborn pain in ta ass most of ta time...but he's ta most giving person I know. He will do ta world for ta ones he loves most, and protect him them no matter ta cost. When he says he's going ta do somethin, he follows through." Connor explained crediting his brother with a shrug. It all seemed to come full circle for Nolee as the gears turned in her mind. Connor could see those gears turning himself, as if her subconscious was giving her the confirmation to move forward.  
  
"I take it ye want me blessing?" he asked knowingly as she blushed but nodded.  
  
"Precisely, yes. I want to know you'll support your brother choosing to be with me. I want you to know that even though I'm still learning a lot about myself, I will do my best to make him happy, that I realize the beautiful and uniquely peculiar soul Murphy is. I want you to know I understand how close you both are and I will always respect that, I will never overstep my boundaries." Nolee assured him with a sudden streak of confidence and dignity. The words seemed to have impacted Connor as his light eyes appeared shocked for a moment. He then coughed as he adjusted his posture.  
  
"... Then you have me blessing."  
  
"Really?" she questioned surprised.  
  
"Yes lass." he replied nodding his head. "I have ta admit no girl has ever spoken ta me ta way ye just did. Ta fact ta you brought me me down here ta speak with me one on one, ye already earned some respect. But after t'is, you've earned me full respect."  
  
"Thank you Connor." she replied genuinely smiling at him.  
  
"Ye welcome." Connor replied equally. "So, do ye even know what ye havin' yet?" Connor asked referring to her stomach, not the menu.  
  
"Oh...I'm having a girl." Nolee answered as Connor nearly choked on his laughter.  
  
"Oh me brudder is so fucked."  
  
The rest of the dinner had gone way better than Nolee anticipated once Connor opened up to her. She had to admit she enjoyed getting to know the other MacManus brother. She was also now able to clearly distinguish the twin brothers' personalities. Unlike Murphy who was into art and music,  Connor had a heavy passion for books and western movies. The more reserved twin, Nolee began to understand what Murphy meant when he said Connor was the more rational one. Murphy who was up for almost anything you'd suggest to him, Connor had his limits. One thing they no doubt shared together was their sense of humor and undying love for bacon cheeseburgers.  
  
"I'm dyin' ta know how our Ma will react to t'is whole thing." Connor smirked as they walked out the diner. "She was startin' ta lose hope Murphy would ever have kids."  
  
"Murphy talks about your mother a lot, I know you both really cherish her." Nolee noted as Connor shrugged in agreement.  
  
"Our Ma might be a crazy Irish woman to ta bone, but she raised us ta be who we are now. Wouldn't exactly call her parenting skills conventional, but she always put us first, no thanks ta our Da."  
  
"Yeah Murphy told me a bit how he was MIA. Ironically my dad was physically there, but mentally MIA." she sympathized as the spiky haired Irishman looked at her.  
  
"T'ats gotta be pretty tough lass. What about your Ma? Murphy mentioned you weren't from Boston."  
  
"I'm not, I was born and raised in Phoenix actually. And my mother, she passed away when I was young." Nolee answered quietly.  
  
"Oh lass I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta pry."  
  
"It's okay Connor, not like you could know that."  
  
"Surely ye got other family though?"  
  
"Just Kira. I've always sort of been on my own."  
  
"What made ye come to Boston then?" Connor asked curiously. Even though his twin brother had now known the full truth Nolee still shuffled on her feet, wondering how Connor would react if he also knew. She hoped Murphy wouldn't tell him about her until much later down the road. She just made good with him, why ruin it.  
  
"I umm...got tired of my life in Phoenix, I wasn't happy anymore. I thought if I made a change, maybe my baby and I would be happy."  
  
"Nothin' wrong with t'at." Connor shrugged in response. "Guess it all kinda of worked out t'en or did it? I mean now you're stick wit me idiot brudder, my condolences lass." Connor retorted as Nolee couldn't contain her laughter.  
  
"Murphy was definitely unexpected. I never would've thought these past two months would change so drastically. But...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy about it."  
  
"Well lass, ye know what they say. Ta best things are usually unexpected."  
  
"Perhaps." she shrugged in response as her eyes look forward. But out the corner of her eye something caught her attention making her stop. Nolee's eyes were drawn to a little antique that housed unique trinkets. In the corner of the display window rested a dark brown crib that caught her attention the most. Her eyes followed the carved in designs of yellow sunflowers that decorated the wood. It brought an overwhelming sense of familiarity to her as memories of her childhood came flooding back. The way her mom would let her play dress up at her vanity and how she'd braid Nolee's hair. When she was finished, she'd make a crown out of sunflowers that came straight from the field outside their home and place it on the little girl's head.  
  
_'You'll always be my sunflower. Even on the darkest days you are my sunshine.'_  
  
A longing filled her heart as she wished she could keep that crib for her very own. But her hope was quickly lost when she realized the crib was more than likely to be something she couldn't afford by now.  
  
"Hey lass...ye okay?" Connor's voice came back into focus snapping her out of her reverie.  
  
"Yes I'm okay, sorry." she smiled embarrassed someone had caught her staring off again. Painfully turning her head away from the window Nolee diverted her eyes to Connor as they continued to walk.  
  
"So...doe this mean you like me now?" Nolee teased as Connor rolled his eyes.  
  
"Let's not get crazy here okay?" he teased back smirking. "But after tonight I can see why brudder likes ye so much. You're not like ta girls here."  
  
"So I've been told." Nolee retorted.  
  
"Ye well, I'm willin' to open me mind up about this whole baby thing. But if ye expectin' me to do all sorts of uncle duties, t'at might take some time. I definitely ain't changin' no diapers."  
  
"Fair enough Connor, fair enough."  
  
"And by ta way lass...is Kira ta girl ye work with at ta coffee shop?"  
  
"Yes...why?" Nolee questioned raising her eyebrow at him.  
  
"Oh, I was just curious is all."  
  
"Mhmm, sure Connor."  
  
Connor was kind enough to walk Nolee home and even though he didn't show it, Nolee could see  underneath he was still a gentleman with women. Whatever their mother did with them growing up, she certainly did a good job. Feeling rather successful of her night with Connor and that things would finally be civil now, she felt a calmness temporarily spread over her. Knowing she had the support of the most important person in Murphy's life, they could move forward together.  
  
"Also, I'm sorry I was a dick ta ye t'at night at McGinty's. I shouldn't have treated ye like t'at." Connor admitted disappointed in himself. Nolee had almost forgotten the incident on Halloween night that he had saved her from. She smiled a bit at the fact that he remembered and was still apologizing.  
  
"It's okay Connor, I forgive you." she assured him as they reached her apartment door. "Well, tonight was actually rather fun getting to know you. Thank you for meeting with me, but I have to ask why did you?" Nolee questioned unable to hide her curiosity.  
  
"Guess my curiosity got ta best of me." Connor answered casually shrugging. "I have ta admit I enjoyed myself tonight as well. Murph surprisingly did good for once."  
  
"Thank you Connor." she whispered blushing.  
  
"Ye welcome. Guess I'll see ye later then, have a goodnight lass." Connor smiled before turning on his feet to head out the building. But as she slipped the key into her door he stopped.  
  
"And Nolee?" Connor said to her as she lifted her head up.  
  
"Yes Connor?"  
  
"I know ye told me over dinner how nervous ye are. But for what it's worth...ye gonna make a great Ma." he smiled lightly. Nolee felt tears build in the corner of her eyes and before she knew it she reached out to hug him soothed by the reserved Irishman's words.  
  
"Thank you." she whispered. Although taken by surprise, she felt him awkwardly hug her back.  
  
"No need ta thank me. I'll see you later." he assured her as she nodded watching him walk out for real this time. Heading into her apartment she sighed tiredly but smiled to herself still feeling good. After taking a warm shower and changing into PJ's gearing up to watch a movie, she prepared to snuggle in her bed. Her plan was suddenly thwarted by her phone ringing making groan lazily.  
  
"Hello?" she spoke into the phone tiredly.  
  
"Hey love, I'm just checkin' in ta make sure ye made it home safely." Murphy spoke back as she smiled hearing his voice.  
  
"I did, I told you I would."  
  
"Ye get what you needed taken care of?" he questioned as the small girl lightly smirked into the phone.  
  
"I suppose you could say that."  
  
  
  
  
  



	20. Smells Like Christmas Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All are Irish men as stubborn as you both?"

_'I've got to be direct_  
_La la la_  
  
_If I'm off, please correct_  
  
_La la la_  
_You're standing on my neck.'_  
  
"Holy crap I love Daria so much." Nolee spoke aloud as she laid on her couch like usual. Despite no one being there besides her, it was obvious the pregnant girl had a bad habit of talking to herself.  
  
"I really should stop that, oh shit I did it again." she sighed to herself and put her focus back on the television. Now that the weather was full on gloomy and cold, the small girl was losing her motivation to be a member of society, especially with Christmas around the corner, the desire to be around people was lacking.  
  
Prepared to sit comfortably in her apartment with dreams of hibernation, a Daria marathon seemed like the perfect touch to spend the day. Feeling extra content in her fluffy robe Nolee adjusted herself on the couch. Just as Daria had transitioned to the musical episode where a hurricane is set to hit Lawndale, heavy loud knocks erupted from her door. Nolee practically fell on her bottom off the couch startled by the noise, groaning as she got up.  
  
"What the hell?" she whispered to herself as she walked to the door. Peeping in the eyehole a scoff left her lips as she opened the door.  
  
"What are you both doing here?" she said in surprise to see both of the Irish brothers standing at her door. "I thought you were spending the day with Rocco."  
  
"We did, but he had some last minute 'deliveries' to do. So we came to bug ye instead." Murphy grinned as she stared at them indifferent.  
  
"I'm busy watching Daria."  
  
"Is t'at a movie?" Connor questioned.  
  
"No, it's a show."  
  
"Never heard of it." both brothers responded in unison as they helped themselves inside her apartment while she rolled her eyes.  
  
"Of course, come on in." she retorted to the brothers who only smirked at her. Already they felt comfortable to enter her apartment whenever they pleased. "Surprised you're not at the bar."  
  
"Doc's closed for ta day, got a doctor's appointment or some shit like t'at." Connor explained.  
  
"Lucky me." Nolee teased as Murphy frowned and lightly poked her belly.  
  
"T'ats not very nice lass."  
  
"Sorry." she replied smiling at him lightly. "I'm kind of a grump when it gets cold like this."  
  
"Then let me warm ye up?" Murphy smirked wrapping his arms around her as she laughed quietly as she snuggled into his chest.  
  
"Jesus Christ, ye forgot I'm standing right here?" Connor scoffed in disgust.  
  
"Oh you were, I didn't notice." Murphy retorted with a smirk. "I didn't mean it t'at way either, get ye mind out ta gutter."  
  
"Well when you _do_ mean it t'at way, please make sure I'm not here."  
  
"Ye just peanut butter and jealous Connor."  
  
"Oh ye little shit-"  
  
"Okay you two, relax." Nolee teased at the two Irishmen's antics. "I'm not energized enough today to deal with your brotherly banter." she added walking to the kitchen for more tea with the brothers in tow.  
  
"Ye know lass, it's practically Christmas. Aren't ye gonna get a tree?" Connor inquired curiously.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Well why not?"  
  
"I don't really decorate for the holidays." Nolee explained lightly shrugging.  
  
"Aww come on where's ye Christmas spirit?"  
  
"Guess I'm sort of a Scrooge."  
  
"Ye gotta at least get a tree love. Besides, ye want ta be festive for ta wee little one dontcha?" Murphy chimed in leaning on her counter.  
  
"She's not even born yet Murphy, I get a pass on this year." Nolee joked as both brothers scoffed. Clearly the twins were more keen on the holidays than she was, they didn't seem to mind the craziness of it all here.

 "Besides, there's no point in getting a tree and all that when I'm most likely going to be working on Christmas anyways. I need the money." Nolee reasoned sipping her tea and shrugging again. This time the brothers stared at her as if they were genuinely offended.  
  
"Ye can't be serious lass."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're not gonna let ye spend Christmas alone." Murphy declared while the small girl sipped her tea timidly. It was a bittersweet feeling that the brothers had wanted to include her so much, it was a bittersweet feeling in general to feel...wanted.  
  
"Really, it's not a big deal guys." she assured not wanting to be a burden.  
  
"We said, we're not letting ye spend it alone and t'ats final." Connor countered as she sighed.  
  
"Are all Irish men stubborn as you both?"  
  
"Ye damn skippy. Now, about that tree." Connor pressed putting his hands together while she mentally prepared herself for what he had planned. "Isn't there a Christmas event goin' on today?" he asked looking at his brother.  
  
"Oh ye mean ta village square? Where they do ta Christmas parade with ta freaky elves and shit like that?" Murphy replied as the light eyed brother nodded.  
  
"Ye t'at one, might as well go ta it. What do ye say Nolee?"  
  
"A parade? Where's there a lot of people?" Nolee answered in distaste.  
  
"Oh come on lass, it'll be fun."  
  
"I don't know you guys..."  
  
"If ye go, I'll buy ye a big cinnamon roll." Connor bribed as she slowly narrowed her eyes at him.  
  
"With a hot chocolate...?"  
  
"If that's what ye want lass, then sure. And if Murph's a good boy he can even take a picture with Santa."  
  
"Oh fuck yew."  
______  
  
With promises of sugary confections, the MacManus brothers managed to draw Nolee out of her apartment. Grumbling at the very cold Boston weather she wrapped her coat around herself, slightly pouting while the brothers walked calmly in tow. She tried hard not to resent the fact that she was missing Daria for this.  
  
Arriving at the village square in downtown, the large crowd of people alerted her senses. There was various Christmas displays and different looking snowmen. Christmas songs bellowed around her followed by the smell of holiday food rafting through the air. She felt overwhelmed at not knowing where to even to start.  
  
"Oh look, eggnog." Connor pointed excitedly taking a step towards the red tented booth however Nolee's hand clutched his peacoat yanking him back.  
  
"What ta hell lass?" Connor growled.  
  
"Not so fast, you promised me mister. I want my cinnamon roll. NOW." Nolee demanded glaring at the spiky haired male who held his hands up in surrender not wanting to feel the wrath of a hungry pregnant women.  
  
"Okay, okay Christ." he sighed making her smile in victory as they redirected their steps to the cinnamon roll stand.  
  
"Ye don't have ta be so feisty okay?" he lamented while getting a place in line.  
  
"And you don't have to have a baby wedged in your ribs."  
  
"She got ye t'ere Con." Murphy smirked as Connor rolled his eyes and ordered a cinnamon roll and hot chocolate with extra whipped cream as requested by her. When he handed her the warm confection Nolee stared at it lovingly inhaling the sweet smell.  
  
"Well ye certainly have never stared at me like t'at." Murphy noted faking offense when he noted her infatuation.  
  
"Why would she? Ye ta ugly twin." Connor scoffed.  
  
"I am not, ye fuckin' are!" Murphy retorted with a glare.  
  
"Bullshit, ye so ugly ye make blind kids cry."  
  
"Fuck yew!" Murphy countered as the brothers had now ensued in a shoving match. Nolee was too engrossed in her cinnamon roll to pay attention to the brothers' banter. Everything seemed to taste better when you were pregnant and right now this was the best damn cinnamon roll ever.  
  
_'This is heaven. This is literal heaven.'_ she thought as she went into for another bite, but was unaware of Connor intercepting her and accidentally making her drop the poor cinnamon roll on the floor. Both brothers immediately stopped their fighting upon realizing what they done as the small girl just stood there in shock staring down at the ruined glazed confection.  
  
"Oh shit." both brothers whispered in unison. Perhaps it was a mixture of crazy pregnancy hormones or genuine grief, most likely both that Nolee couldn't help but burst into tears. The brothers looked at each other unsure of what to do.  
  
"Connor ye fuckin' idiot! Look what ye did!" Murphy shouted pointing a finger at the innocent cinnamon roll.  
  
"I didn't mean ta, ye were ta one fuckin' pushin' me!" Connor shouting back at his brother. As Nolee cried the brothers attracted glares from passersby feeling their distaste for making a pregnant girl cry.  
  
"Uhh...it's okay lass don't cry, I'll buy you a new cinnamon roll okay? Just please stop doing....that." Connor awkwardly told the small girl clearly not an expert on women and their emotions.  
  
"Connor's sorry love, he didn't mean ta ruin ye cinnamon roll. Let's go get a new one alright?" Murphy nervously consoled her as she hiccuped through her tears.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
After the cinnamon roll fiasco and Nolee finally able to enjoy the whole roll with her hot chocolate. She was able to keep her emotions in check and carried on her normal self. Which seem to freak the twin brothers out as they now treated her like she was a ticking time bomb, well she sort of was anyway. She found it secretly amusing they seemed to be walking on eggshells around her. A small part of her felt bad for making them go through her melt down.  
  
_'Oh well, that's what they get for dragging me out here in the first place.'_  
  
Nolee tried to be nice as the trio walked through the village looking at the many displays and choirs singing. She had to admit that in spite of it all it was mildly enjoyable being here with the brothers. Even they did spent most of the time bickering like twin brothers do. The first activity Connor made them do was ornament decorating. It was ironic that a sarcastic Irishman like him loved Christmas so much...a little too much.  
  
"What ta fuck are ye' doin?" Murphy told him in confusion as he eyed the glittery disaster of an ornament Connor attempted to make.  
  
"What ye lookin' at me ornament for, ye got ye own. Mind ye fuckin' business." Connor retorted while Nolee giggled to herself at the brothers ridiculousness while finishing up her own ornament. She created a hot pink and black glittery ornament while Murphy made his out of his favorite shades of blue. When they finished they attempted to move on to another activity unfortunately the brothers found themselves in the crossfire of kids throwing snowballs. One of course hitting Murphy square in the face.  
  
"What ta fuck?" he said in confusion as he touched the spot where the fake ice had been thrown. Naturally it sent both Nolee and Connor into hysterics as Murphy glared at them both.  
  
"Oh that's fuckin' funny huh?" he retorted. "See how funny t'is is Connor." he added before quickly grabbing a ball of snow and chucking it at the spiky haired male making him gasp.  
  
"Oh ye little bastard, ye wanna go? Let's go," Connor countered as they began throwing snowballs at each other while the small girl looked on amusement. Despite them attempting to throw their hardest throws, Nolee smiled at the way the brothers smirked at each other. They were always bickering, but there was no denying the love that was there.  
  
Once the brothers duked it out they carried on with their walk around the village, both men laughing at they tried to catch their breath.  
  
"Been a long time since I whooped your arse like t'at brudder."  
  
"Nice try, but ye never defeat me. I'm ta master."  
  
"I don't know who's having more fun here, you guys or the little kids." Nolee teased.  
  
"Can't help it lass, we always been keen on Christmas." Murphy admitted as she smiled.  
  
"It's kind of adorable to be honest."  
  
"I know I'm adorable love." Murphy winked as he kissed her cheek making her roll her eyes at him but smile once more. Walking hand in hand they concentrated at the shop area with various knick knacks and antique ornaments. When Nolee eyed the toy store next to it, she inhaled a deep breath.  
  
"What's on ye mind? I can tell when ye thinkin' hard." Murphy noted squeezing her hand, part of her at a loss to how he was able to pick up on her quirks so fast, part of her perturbed by it.  
  
"It's just crazy to think that soon I'll be in here buying toys and what not. Time is starting to go by so fast, I can't keep up." she explained turning her head back to him.  
  
"It's natural to feel that way." Murphy shrugged. "You'll be great at it though."  
  
"You're taking this too calmly."  
  
"What ye mean?"  
  
"You're not nearly as nervous I am, how?"  
  
"I don't know lass, I'm just going wit ta flow I guess."  
  
"What about a couple months from now when there's a crying newborn, how will you feel then?"  
  
"Why ye puttin' me on ta spot for?" Murphy replied running a hand through his short dark hair.  
  
"I don't mean to, I'm just being realistic."  
  
"Well...that's something we'll know when we get ta it I suppose. In ta meantime t'eres no point in stressin' ourselves out. If you spent all ye time worrying, you miss out on everything else."  
  
"I wish I could live in the present more like you're able to. But I'm a planner."  
  
"Ye can plan a perfect picnic but ye can't predict ta weather love. You gotta let some things just be."  
  
"Why do you always have to put things in a good perspective?" she mumbled childishly as he laughed.  
  
"Just ta type of person I am. Also, how come me brudder is being decent to ye? Not like it's a bad thing I just find it a little interestin.' he questioned while Nolee froze a bit inside. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Murphy about her and Connor's conversation just yet.  
  
"I don't know...maybe he's starting to come around?" she shrugged.  
  
"Ye I guess so. Surprisin' really."  
  
"Speaking of your brother, do you know what you're getting him for Christmas ?" she inquired looking around to make sure Connor wasn't around to hear them.  
  
"Fuck all."  
  
"Murphy." Nolee chided as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'm just kiddin', I have a couple ideas. He likes western movies so damn much, I might get him some more movie collections, he lost some of t'em when we moved ta Boston."

"Okay good, maybe we can find something while he's off looking at the other shops." Nolee suggested while Murphy shrugged in agreeance. Making their way next door to the book and movie store, the pair browsed through the old western movie section.

"Ah-ha." she exclaimed pointing her finger. "Wyatt Earp, how's that?"

"I think he'll like that one. Good job love." Murphy replied impressed. "Now what do you want for Christmas?" he questioned raising his eyebrow.

"Nothing." she simply answered.

"What, that can't be so. Surely ye want at least one thing?"

"Not really. All the things I wanted for Christmas...I got them, trust me." she assured giving him a light smile.

"And what would those be?" he whispered leaning his face in closer to hers while she shivered slightly.

"That's a conversation for another time." she countered lifting her eyes up to meet his.

"I'll hold ye to it t'en." he replied connecting his lips to hers.

"T'ere ye guys are! I've been lookin' all over, t'ere doin' a gingerbread house contest, come on!" Connor demanded as Murphy pulled his face away from hers huffing in annoyance.

"Goddamn it." he mumbled under his breath as Nolee giggled reaching out to grab his hand.

"Come on, before the toddler gets upset." she teased while they all made out the shop to where the contest was being held. Naturally the contest was geared towards little kids and of course the only adult competing was Connor. The contest was timed and each contestant had 15 minutes to decorate their houses as best as they could. When they all finished Connor threw up a fist in victory.  
  
"Ye t'ats right ye little brats, who's ta master?" he shouted which proceeded to make the other kids cry, earning glares from their parents.  
  
"CONNOR!" Nolee and Murphy hissed in unison.  
  
"Maybe it's time we go look for a tree now..."  
_____  
  
Forcing Connor to take a break from the activities and focus on what they really came for, the brothers and Nolee found their way to the tree lot. As she let them be the ones to pick one out, she thought about what she wanted to get Murphy for Christmas and unfortunately she was stumped on ideas. After all he was doing for her, what could she really get him? She wasn't the best at giving gifts but she knew he deserved at least something good.  
_  
'Maybe I can get him art supplies? No, that's lame. Ugh, what do I do?'_ she thought before suddenly an idea hit her. She smiled as she looked at the brothers who were too engrossed with arguing about the trees. She knew what to get him, she'd just have to wait until she was alone to get it.

"Lass, what about t'is one?" Murphy asked pointing to a decent size tree as she snapped out of her thoughts.

"Oh um, yeah sure that one is fine." she replied absentmindedly as the brothers shrugged at each other before mutually agreeing to purchase the tree and ornaments for it. Figuring the festivities had come to an end the trio decided to make their way towards home while Connor and Murphy carried the tree to her apartment.

While the brothers had set the tree up Nolee helped them place the ornaments on it, including the ones they created earlier. When they finished she stood back studying their work. For not being a holiday person, she had to admit the tree was rather cute looking.

"See, we told ye." they both said her to in unison while she rolled her eyes, she was sure she'd hear the phrase from them quite often now. Making them all dinner as a way to wind down from today's craziness Nolee served the Irishmen spaghetti and meatballs, to which they completely devoured it.

"You both really don't get home cooked meals often do you?" she teased but really she was flattered the boys seemed to like her cooking, even when it was something as simple as spaghetti. It had been a long time since she had to cook for someone else besides herself.

After demolishing her spaghetti, Nolee raised an eyebrow when she discovered a full and tired Connor passed out on her couch. Laughing to herself she decided to leave him be while she went into her room to change. Getting into more comfortable clothes she relished as the fuzzy socks comforted her feet. All the walking from today had made her feet sore, maybe she should start taking it easy. At least her doctor couldn't get on her about not getting enough exercise. As she began to nurse her aching feet Murphy's hands intercepted hers and took over. She lifted her face up to his and smiled.

"You don't have to rub my feet you know."

"Shush woman, just let me."

"Fine." she replied not putting up much of a fight. She'd be lying if she said Murphy's hands hadn't felt amazing on her feet. Letting out a sigh of relief, she allowed herself to succumb to the relaxation.

"Now this is a nice Christmas gift." she mumbled with closed eyes making Murphy snicker.

"Oh ye? Well I got somethin' else for ye."

"And what's that?" she asked curiously opening her eyes to find Murphy holding a mistletoe over their heads, a cheesy grin spread across his face.

"Where did you get that?" she mused.

"When Connor and I were buying ta tree. So..." he hinted motioning to the mistletoe as she shook her head.

"I don't think that's the traditional way it works Murphy." she joked to which he simply shrugged at her.

"T'en maybe it's time we create our own traditions."  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, okay. I'm going to be honest I didn't expect to crank out 20 chapters for this. But I have to admit this was my favorite chapter to write. This is the first multi chaptered story I've written and I know this story probably isn't best on the here, but thanks for reading anyways.


	21. Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My eyes...they're bleeding."

'I don't want a lot for Christmas   
There's just one thing I need   
I don't care about the presents   
Underneath the Christmas tree   
I just want you for my own   
More than you could ever know   
Make my wish come true   
All I want for Christmas   
_Is you!'_

"Dear lord, not you too." Nolee scoffed entering the coffee shop to find an extra enthusiastic Kira dancing along to the radio as she opened the register.

"What, it's Christmas time! Don't be a grinch." the long haired brunette protested continuing her dance.

"Don't tell me what do Ms. Martin, I'll be a grinch if I want." Nolee retorted as Kira stuck out her tongue.

"Come on, where's your Christmas spirit?"

"If I hear one more person tell me that, they're getting a muffin shoved down their throat."

"Kinky." Kira winked. "And you know it wouldn't kill you to show some enthus-" Kira's sentence had trailed off as the smaller girl watched her brown eyes fill with horror and fixated at the door.

"Kira what are you staring at- oh jesus christ," Nolee whispered equally distraught as they were forced to witness their balding boss enter the shop proudly donning yet another jumpsuit. To the girls' horror the jumpsuit was not only bloody red but decorated with blinking christmas lights, and a sad looking rudolph the red nose reindeer that emphasized the older man's stomach.

"Cosmo...what...is...that?" Kira asked discombobulated.

"It's my Christmas jumpsuit silly, thought it'd be nice for the customers. Do you girls like it? I made it myself." Cosmo beamed proudly while the girls did their very best to smile through the nausea.

"I mean...it's uhh..." both girls stammered in unison while Cosmo held a hand up.

"I get it. You're just so impressed you can't even find the words, aww shucks you girls are too kind." Cosmo winked at them before merrily carrying onto the backroom where both girls stood frozen.

"My eyes...they're bleeding." Nolee whispered sadly.

"Forget what I said earlier about Christmas spirit."

"I thought the lime green jumpsuit was awful, but this...I don't know if I can recover from this." Nolee feared putting a hand over heart.

"Just remember he's letting us have Christmas Eve and Christmas off. That makes up for the abuse we were just subjected to."

"Right."

"Are you spending Christmas with Murphy?" Kira gushed as Nolee nodded her head.

"Seems like it."

"Have things gotten better since you know, that night?" Kira inquired referring to her and Murphy's date. Nolee cringed thinking about what happened and tried to forget it since then.

"They have. We still haven't you know...but we talked things out and he understood." she answered gently.

"You know I have to hand it to you."

"What do you mean?"

"You managed to make a guy whipped over your pregnant ass."

"Kira." Nolee chided but half smiled. "That's a little mean don't you think?"

"It's not mean, it's truth sweetie. You go from hating him tovnn spending Christmas with him. Maybe the Old and the Beautiful should take some cues from you both."

"Oh that's so kind of you. Is that you trying to say I should be on a soap opera?"

"Precisely."

"Gee thanks."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's romantic. I'm a little jealous actually."

"You really shouldn't be jealous, trust me."

"Yeah yeah. So, what did you get him for Christmas?"

"Uhh...actually I still need to do that."

"Nolee Wade how could you wait so long, shame on you." Kira scolded as Nolee gasped.

"Well sorry Murphy's not exactly the easiest person to shop for. It's not like there's an abundance of ideas to get an Irishman who mainly only likes burgers and cigarettes."

"There has to be something he likes."

"Well actually I do have one idea, but that requires me to go to the mall. Want to tag along?"

"Don't have to ask me twice. Sure."

"Cool, guess we'll go after our shift ends."

With the plan to go get Murphy a Christmas gift after work being put into motion, Nolee tried to concentrate on work. But that proved to be a challenge as the day seemed to suddenly turn on her. Maybe it was the pregnancy brain that was responsible for dropping things and forgetting customer orders. She scolded herself mentally trying to compose herself, she never was this forgetful.

The attempt to keep the day decent was inevitably short lived when she unfortunately served one of the upper class businessmen of Boston.

"I said I wanted hazelnut! Did you not listen to a word I said?" the blonde businessman huffed angrily as the small girl did her best to stay neutral.

"I'm really sorry sir I mixed up your drink. I'll make you another-"

"I don't have time to wait! I shouldn't have to wait in the first place, how incompetent are you?" he fumed. Nolee bit the inside of her lip in an effort to not cry. There had been many shady customers that came in but this guy had seemed to be the worst. The way he looked at her as if she was less than human had made her awful. Of course Kira had to be on break leaving her on her own to deal with it.

"Sir, she said she was sorry." a voice interrupted the angry man as Nolee quickly diverted her gaze to the source. She was surprised to find a tall fit male standing there. Her eyes widened a bit at the tan complexion he had and light brown eyes. His black hair was buzzed cut and given the nature of his very muscular arms, Nolee wasn't sure he was some she'd want to mess with.

"Am I talking to you?" the businessman snarled as the tall male kept calm unfazed.

"No, but the girl said she was sorry and she'd make you another one, there's no need to be a prick about it."

"Excuse me?" the businessman scoffed clearly never been called out for his behavior.

"You heard me, leave her alone." the tall male countered coolly. The businessman seemed taken aback and stumbled on a response but even Nolee could see the man debating if he should press on with the muscular male.

"You can be assured I'll be taking my business elsewhere." he scoffed giving both Nolee and the male one last dirty glance before storming out the shop. Nolee felt her stomach twist nerves at what just taken place. The day was turning to shit and all she wanted to was go home at this point.

"You okay?" the male asked turning his attention back to her as she nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for that you didn't have to do that though." she replied politely.

"Well I think it was a little necessary, he didn't have to be such a dick." the tall male sneered while she bit her lip once again. She was more than certain she'd never see him in the shop before and the way he carried himself was intimidating to be honest.

"Yeah, well that's the joys of customer service." Nolee sighed as he only laughed in response.

"Maybe so, but the 'customer is always right' thing is bullshit sometimes. Doesn't give you the right to treat others like shit."

"If only all customers thought the way you did." Nolee smiled a bit. "What can I get you?"

"Just a medium caramel macchiato please. And if you mess up, I promise I won't yell at you." he teased while her face flushed.

"Thanks." she replied shyly. "That'll be $3.00" she added as he reached into his pant pocket and gave her a five dollar bill. Nolee finalized the transaction before giving him his change back. "It'll be just a minute."

"I'm not in a rush, no worries." he smiled as she bit her lip again and went to start on his drink avoiding eye contact as much as possible. When she finished she slowly slid the cup over the counter to him.

"Here's your caramel macchiato."

"Thanks." he smiled once more flashing white teeth at her while picking up his drink.

"Hope you don't have to deal with anymore assholes today. Keep your chin up."

"Thanks, I will." Nolee laughed a bit as he gave a nod.

"Have a good one." he replied before walking out without another word while she watched him leave. That was surely a different experience she had at Cosmo's. There was something about him she couldn't put her finger on, he looked slightly familiar but she couldn't remember. Picking her brain for a bit before she sighed and carried on with her day. It's not like she was attracted to him or anything...there was just something about him.

"Did I miss anything interesting?" Kira's voice appeared as she tied her apron behind her while Nolee rolled her eyes.

"Just the biggest asshole customer yet."

"Really? What happened?" Kira pressed making her eyes light up in curiosity.

"I accidentally mixed up this businessman's drink and he totally raged about it."

"Oh hell no, you should have called me up front I would've decked him for you."

"Whoa Kira, calm down. There was actually another guy behind that told him off for me."

"Really? What did the businessman say to him?"

"He got huffy puffy and stormed out. The man was rather intimidating...and muscular."

"Was he hot though?"

"Honestly...a little." Nolee admitted with a shrug.

"Why do you keep attracting the hot ones? Like is your pregnancy some sort of magical charm all of the sudden?" Kira pouted.

"You're being dramatic, he was just being a decent human being and sticking up for someone against a douchebag. Also, I wouldn't say I'm attracting guys, Murphy's just the exception."

"Oh, so you're officially claiming him now?"

"Well I...you know...shut up." Nolee stammered blushing.

"Oh Nolee, you're in deeper than Mariana's Trench."  
___

 

"Sweet freedom." Nolee whispered exhaling a sigh of relief stepping into the mall completely relieved the crappy day had finally come to an end. Sometimes there was nothing compared to walking into the mall and being welcomed with food court scents.

"Where to first?" Kira smiled happy to be back at her mothership. All though the mall was crowded with other fellow last minute shoppers it definitely beat being at the coffee shop.

"First food. Today sucked and I want to eat my feelings."

"Okay...what are you craving?"

"A pretzel." Nolee beamed. "Ooh, and ice cream with sauerkraut." she added drooling at the thought making Kira gag.

"I literally just threw up in my mouth, what the actual fuck."

"Sorry, it's the cravings..."

"After you, I don't think I want to be pregnant. Ever."

"You don't know the half of it sister. Just wait until you deal with the constant constipation."

"Oh god." Kira cringed. "I've lost my appetite thank you."

"You're so very welcome." Nolee smiled as they walked to the food court. Upset at not being able to have her ice cream with sauerkraut the warm soft salty pretzel had managed to fulfill her cravings temporarily. The cold drink must've woken the baby given a series of kicks to her side. Almost as if to say 'what the fuck mom?'

"Sorry little one, but I mean you are the one making me have these cravings." Nolee reasoned to her stomach.

"Do you ever think how Murphy will be with the baby?" Kira thought aloud making Nolee stop mid bite of her pretzel, the thought vaguely crossing her mind before. Murphy seemed protective and caring, she was certain he'd treat her child the same way. She couldn't really fathom him mistreating the baby for any reason, at best she was concerned his spontaneous and laid back ways might allow the baby to get away with things.

"I think he'll do good with her." Nolee assured softly.

"That's good, you just got to make sure he wouldn't like secretly resent her for not being biologically his. Not that I think Murphy's the type of guy to be that way, you just gotta be careful nowadays you know?" Kira reasoned while Nolee felt her stomach churn and this time it wasn't from the baby. Processing Kira's words Nolee began to wonder if Kira had a good point. Could Murphy be capable of something like that? The last thing she would ever want was someone secretly harboring resentment towards her child. It was scary enough hiding from her past, but if she were to accidentally make the same mistake again, Nolee couldn't bare it.

"Yeah I know." she answered quietly.

"I don't get that vibe from him, so don't worry." Kira assured. "Just good to be cautious for your child right?"  
 _  
'Don't worry. Ha good one.'_

"Yeah of course." Nolee agreed with her poker face as if her mind hadn't wandered off into paranoid thoughts once again thanks to Kira.

"And speaking of Irishmen...do you know a lot about umm Connor?" Kira inquired shyly as Nolee noted the red spreading across the taller girl's cheeks.

"You're acting like you have a high school crush Kira. Are you that sprung over Connor?" Nolee smirked as Kira's mouth went agape in slight offense.

"I'm not sprung okay...he's just really fucking hot...and I...shut up." Kira retorted further blushing causing the small girl to laugh in amusement.

"Look who's smitten now. And for what it's worth creeper, Connor seems to like you too." Nolee admitted deciding to stop torturing the poor girl.

"He does?!" Kira beamed excitedly before composing herself and coughing. "I mean umm, of course he does." Kira added now calmly flipping her long hair over shoulder as Nolee rolled her eyes. "Did he say anything about me?"

"He asked me if I worked with you when I took out him to dinner."

"Wait what?" Kira asked confused.

"Oh right, I forgot to tell you I took Connor out to dinner as a means of asking for him blessing. You know, just to make things civil once and for all seeing as Murphy and I are moving along. Just thought it'd be the right thing to do."

"Woman you gotta stop keeping out of the loop goddamn it!"

"Sorry! It's the pregnancy brain, it's screwing me up lately. I'm lucky if I remember to wear pants in public half the time."

"Fair enough I guess. So he gave you his blessing then?"

"Pretty much. He said I earned his respect by talking to him one and one, that'd no girl had ever done that before."

"Well that's awesome then...I'm sure Murphy will be pleased."

"I didn't tell Murphy yet."

"Why not?" Kira questioned again confused.

"I wanted to do it on my own accord, I didn't want Murphy to think I'm just trying to suck up to his brother."

"I guess I can understand that." Kira shrugged but the small girl could see the desperate curiosity burning in her emerald eyes.

"Then after dinner, Connor mentioned you okay? He certainly showed some interest so make of it what you will." Nolee clarified sensing the girl fighting the urge to bounce around.

"Seeing as I'm your bestest friend soon to be auntie ever and always there for you, do you suppose you could um..."

"Put in a good word?"

"Precisely."

"You're incredibly dumb to trust me as matchmaker, but I will do my very best young padawan."

"I'll ignore the dumb comment and just say thank you."

"That'd be a very wise choice."

"Where we going anyways?"

"There's a shop I want to look at, I'll be quick I promise." Nolee assured as they made their way over to a small shop. Kira lifted her eyebrow as she observed the many world culture artifacts.

"What is this history class all over again? Are you getting him a subscription to national geographic or something?"

"Of course not genius. Just let me look okay, I think Murphy would like something here."

"If you say so."

"Hello, can I help you ladies?" the elderly man from behind the register smiled at them kindly.

"Do you have any sort of gift boxes?"

"Oh yes, they're in the back section."

"Great thank you." Nolee smiled as she headed towards the back of the shop. Her brown eyes scanned the many gift boxes and one in particular caught her eye. Smiling as she reached out to grab the Mahogany box and studied the design on top it, a sense of satisfaction spread across her lips.

"You're perfect."  
____

After their shopping was complete and Nolee managing to find a gift for the new three men in her life, a breath of relief escaped her mouth followed by an ironic laugh.  
 _  
'Two Irishmen and a hairy Italian, I'm on a roll here.'_

"Thanks for tagging along with me." Nolee told the tall girl sincerely as they reached her apartment.

"No prob, you know the mall is my second home. Too bad Ray wasn't working today so I couldn't score us free fries by flirting with him like I always do."

"If only I had your confidence...and your boobs."

"You're too sweet, you're gonna make me cry." Kira sniffed as she opened her door. "Hold on before you go, I have something for you."

"Oh yeah...what is that?" Nolee asked raising her eyebrow. Kira smiled as she reached behind her door. "I know you don't like extravagant things...but I couldn't help myself." she added as she revealed a white and pink laced pram filled with baby girl items complete with a large bow on top. Nolee stared at the stroller in shock and felt her eyes water.

"Kira...that is....beautiful." Nolee whispered genuinely touched at the gesture. The pram was vintage looking and extremely girly but Nolee was in love.

"Don't worry I didn't spend a whole lot on it, I know some people. It turns out that shopping for someone besides yourself is actually fun, who knew." Kira teased.

"Kira, I can't accept this." Nolee replied guiltily.

"Yes you can and you will. Any niece of mine has to be cruising in style."

"This means more to me than you could ever know, thank you, seriously."

"You don't have to thank me, it's my job. You're my sister." Kira smiled as the small girl lifted her head up filled with emotion she didn't know she could feel. It hadn't been that long they knew each other but Nolee felt like she knew Kira her whole life. Sure she was crazy and self absorbed some times...but goddamn was a she good friend underneath it all, and Nolee was never more grateful to Cosmo for bringing them together.

"You're my sister." Nolee repeated sincerely as they both reached out for hug. For that split second Nolee felt at peace.

"Okay let's stop with the mushy mushy before I ruin my makeup." Kira teased as Nolee laughed through her tears.

"Fair enough. But seriously, this is amazing where did you even get this?"

"Ahh, a lady never reveals her secrets." Kira winked as Nolee furrowed her eyebrows at her.

"Okay, I flirted with John at Mary Kate's Dollhouse, and may or may not have let him motorboat me."

"I should have known." Nolee sighed but wouldn't harp on the girl, after all the stroller was the most beautiful one she had ever seen. "Now I feel bad only getting you a pair of heels, but they're cheetah print like you wanted." Nolee confessed as the tall girl laughed.

"I love em' already. But if you want to make it up to me, you can have Connor naked under my tree on Christmas." Kira sighed blissfully as Nolee cringed at the involuntarily mental image.

"Annnd the moment's officially ruined."  
_____

After bidding her goodbyes to Kira and walking her new pram home while feeling slightly ridiculous, Nolee still was content. Imagining the mysterious little face that would soon be in that pram brought a smile to her face. Setting all the items inside her apartment Nolee huffed exhausted.

"Great, now I actually have to wrap this shit." she grumbled sighing once more before starting on the presents. When she finished she placed the pram and the gifts under the tree. A bittersweet feeling swept through her as she sat back astonished. It was funny how just months ago she was used to only her own company. Now four more bodies had somehow occupied her life, soon to be five. Fragments of her old life had disappeared in that moment, leaving the girl unbothered.

Maybe, just maybe, things were finally looking up after all.


	22. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, how the hell did you both get in my apartment?!"

  
_"Nolee wake up."_

_"Come on lass wake up."_

_"Is she dead?"_

_"Maybe she needs a kiss from her prince charmin,' too bad ye ta toad."_

_"Fuck off Connor."_  
  
"Guys, I can hear you." Nolee mumbled in her sleep.  
  
"Oh she's alive after all." Connor replied when the girl finally moved. Her eyes slowly fluttered open to the voice and to her shock and surprise she gasped seeing the twin brothers sitting on her bed smirking.  
  
"I wasn't dreaming?"  
  
"Nah, ye weren't." Murphy replied still smirking.  
  
"Okay, how the hell did you both get in my apartment?!" she asked in panic.  
  
"Umm well, we sort of know how ta pick locks back from our teenage rebellious days. Turns out we still got it." Connor smirked snapping his fingers while she sighed.  
  
"Seriously you guys what is wrong with you?" Nolee questioned annoyed. She had expecting the twins after Christmas mass but she honestly didn't expect them to pick her locks!  
  
"What, we've been tryin' ta wake ye up for ta past hour sleepin' beauty." Murphy explained.  
  
"Is it too much to ask for to sleep in?!"  
  
"It's Christmas Eve tho! Ye gotta get up." they whined in unison.  
  
"I don't want to. Leave me alone." she grumbled pulling the covers back over head starting to regret tinviting them over.  
  
"Get up lass, if ye do I'll make ye breakfast." Murphy promised while she rolled her eyes against the pillow.  
  
"You oughta make me breakfast anyways for breaking into my damn apartment."  
  
"Fine, now will ye get up?"  
  
"Come on lass, we even brought ta food like ye asked." Connor assured while the small girl groaned.  
  
"Pleeeeeease." they begged once more in unison and slowly the girl sat up to see them both full on pouting.  
  
"You two are insufferable." she mumbled finally getting up as they both smiled in victory.  
  
"But ye know ye love us lass."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Now can I shower first please?" Nolee retorted crankily as both the Irishmen nodded and got off the bed before leaving her room.  
  
"I swear they act their shoe size more and more." she muttered under breath sliding off her bed and into her bathroom to quickly shower. Afterwards, she changed into sweatpants and an oversized shirt.  
  
_'Okay but for real this time, I need new clothes now.'_ she thought feeling yet another shirt become snug. She'd have to ask Kira to tag along to another mall trip, at least there would be sales after the holidays. Tying her hair into a messy ponytail with the front strands framing her face, Nolee quickly brushed her teeth to get rid of morning breath. She could hear the twins arguing in her kitchen of course causing her to roll her eyes but snicker at the irony. She'd never imagine when she moved to Boston there would be Irish twin brothers in her apartment on Christmas eve, hopefully cooking her breakfast.  
  
She had already accepted they would be coming over on the condition that this time they actually helped with cooking the food, and wait was that smoke she was smelling? Dashing from her bedroom to the kitchen she found Murphy at her stove and Connor reading the newspaper.  
  
"Ahh ye finally up love, I made blueberry pancakes." Murphy smiled despite the faint smoke radiating from the pan.  
  
"Ta fuck Murph, they're burnt." Connor commented poking a finger at the well done pancakes.  
  
"I made _cajun_ blueberry pancakes."  
  
"Thanks Murphy." Nolee replied unable to contain her giggle. "I appreciate it." she added taking a plate from the cupboard and serving herself. They may have not been the prettiest looking, but it was the thought that counts after all. At least there was eggs and bacon to balance out the burnt taste. Sitting down at the small kitchen table, Nolee lifted up her fork at them.  
  
"By the way if you both ever break into my apartment again I _will_ call your mom." she threatened narrowing her eyes.  
  
"You wouldn't." both brothers challenged in unison narrowing their eyes back.  
  
"Oh, I **would**."  
____  
  
After breakfast and cleaning up Nolee directed the guys in making Christmas Eve dinner, compliments to Kira and her rescue recipes once again. However this time the brothers contributed in buying a ham...and an unnecessary amount of Pillsbury premade christmas cookie packages. As they all helped out with the cooking, Connor and Murphy danced along to the Christmas songs on the radio (ridiculously by the way) sending Nolee into a giggle fit. As much as she wanted to gripe about Christmas, the brothers were making it difficult not to have a good time. Especially with the sneaky kisses Murphy would give her in between cooking smiling at her so sweetly, it was extremely difficult.  
  
Between three sets of hands a ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, roasted asparagus, mac and cheese, as well as candied yams had been prepared. Connor wasted no time in baking the Christmas cookies well Murphy...supervised. Nolee quickly changed from her sweats into a semi appropriate Christmas dinner outfit, upon coming out from her bedroom her eyes squinted when she saw her boyfriend.  
  
"Murphy please stop eating the cookie dough." Nolee sighed at the messy dark haired male who was unapologetically cramming chocolate chip pieces into his mouth.  
  
"Ye, ye can get salmonella ye fuckin' idiot." Connor chimed in as Murphy waved his hand at them dismissively.  
  
"T'ats what they want ye ta believe. Well I say stick it ta man."  
  
"Fine, but don't expect me to take care of ye when ye get sick." Connor countered rolling his eyes as he returned to the cookies.  
  
"You invited Rocco right?" Nolee asked temporarily forgetting about the shaggy haired Italian and his absence.  
  
"Yeah he'll be over late after visiting his family." Murphy explained as suddenly the door burst open making all three heads turn.  
  
"Somebody say my name?" Rocco beamed standing in the doorway.  
  
"Rocco ye late...again."  
  
"And conveniently right after ta cooking was already finished ye shithead." Connor chimed in after his brother.  
  
"Better late than never though yeah?"  Rocco winked. "Oh and I brought beer."  
  
"Alright." Connor had now been the one to grin taking the case of Guinness from Rocco's hands.  
  
"Merry Christmas Rocco." Nolee smiled as the shaggy haired male turned his attention towards her.  
  
"Merry Christmas my Nolee-cannoli!" Rocco grinned giving her a big bear hug. "And Merry Christmas to you too little bambina." he added lightly poking Nolee's stomach.  
  
"These two micks driving you insane yet?"  
  
"You have no idea." Nolee replied shaking her head as the twins sent a glare her way.  
  
"Hey we heard t'at."  
  
"You were supposed to." Nolee smirked. "We're just about to eat, pull up a chair Rocco."  
  
"Don't have to tell me twice sweetheart." Rocco grinned once more excitedly as the food had been moved to the table and plates passed around. For a little group the dinner had turned out just right. No crazy family, no drama. Complete with the expected insults and embarrassing stories, Nolee couldn't ask for anything better.  
  
_"And then he said 'I'll have a coke then.'_ Rocco finished his famous joke and even though it was technically a racist joke, the punchline inevitably sent the other three adults into giggles. Nolee gasped when felt an uncomfortable pressure below her stomach.  
  
"What's wrong lass?" Murphy asked concerned as her face only flushed from embarrassment.  
  
"I think I peed myself...."  
____  
  
After dinner was finished and an embarrassing pregnancy mishaps, the adults moved to the living room where the television had been playing 'A Christmas Story' all day long. All three males laughed alongside the movie when Flick got his tongue stuck to the frozen flag pole, simultaneously stuffing their faces with the Christmas cookies of course. Nolee smiled to herself as she sat back watching them all sipping her chocolate.  
  
Naturally it didn't take long for Rocco and Connor to get intoxicated from the beer. Even though Murphy had one or two himself, he knew better than partake in the excess drinking. It was a good thing Rocco and Connor were decent drunks and not too bad to be around. As one would imagine it had been quite the show watching them both attempt to do the charleston dance. Rocco being the graceful dove he was tripped on his footing sending him crashing to the floor while the other three adults erupted in a fit of laughter as Rocco groaned in pain.  
  
The two drunken males soon had passed out on opposite sides of the couch from the beer, Murphy shook his head at the two while Nolee giggled.  
  
"Just leave them be." she told him tiredly already having had enough of the day's shenanigans. Lightly placing a spare blanket over them before turning off the television, giving a wave of dismissal at the dishes as she passed by the kitchen, those could definitely wait until tomorrow. A sigh of relief escaped her lips feeling the soft surface of her bed as she laid down closing her eyes momentarily. She could feel the bed dip as Murphy soon joined her.  
  
"Can't hang preggers?" he teased as she slowly raised her middle finger.  
  
"Leave me alone, it takes a lot more than you think to keep up with you three."  
  
"Point taken love." he smirked wrapping his arms around her waist. It was almost as if it was on cue that the moment his hands touched her stomach kicks began to erupt from the inside of her.  
  
"T'ats quite a soccer match goin' on t'ere." Murphy noted slightly amused.  
  
"I noticed she only likes to move around alot...when you're here." Nolee replied slightly blushing.  
  
"I hope t'ats a good thing?"  
  
"I'd say so. She seems pretty fond of you." Nolee smiled.  
  
"Is t'at true? Do ye like me wee little one?" Murphy asked leaning his head down towards her stomach. Not a moment later did another kick push out the side of her stomach making him laugh. He kept his hand on her side infatuated with the movement. His blue eyes twinkled in a mix of curiosity and amazement, the way one corner of his mouth lifted to crack a side smile made Nolee's heart race at the two having their own little moment. Whatever doubts Kira made her have previously, vanished temporarily.  
  
"Alright, goodnight little one." Murphy smiled one last time before lifting his head back up to her. Nolee pretended she had not just turned into a puddle of goo watching them both.  
  
"Ye know, Connor told me ye went and asked for his blessin.' Guess that explains why he suddenly started treatin' ye nicer." Murphy revealed as her face flushed making him laugh. "Why didn't ye tell me about it?"  
  
"I don't know. I just wanted to be on good terms with Connor, it's obvious by now how close you both are. I figured if I talked to him one and one, he would accept me more."  
  
"Well whatever ye did, it worked. I appreciate ye doin' that, it means a lot ta me ye would care about me brudder's feelings so strongly. You're amazin' Nolee." Murphy whispered touching her cheek causing her to shiver slightly at his warm calming touch. His blue eyes boring into hers were creating yet another challenge as Nolee began to feel those familiar sensations the night of her date. The way his hand had moved down from her cheek to cup her jaw gingerly. Nolee saw his breathing pick up as he eyed her lips just like he had did that night as well, and both of them seemed to be aware they were playing a dangerous game this time.  
  
Murphy not one to ever shy away from danger, wasted no time closing the gap between them and connected his lips to hers. Nolee gasped at his intensity of kisses but went along with it. The mint laced cigarette scent radiating once again, but she wouldn't complain he had most likely snuck out to smoke. Murphy had after all made good on his word and been more discrete with his smoking she hardly ever smelt it anymore. Murphy leaned more of his body over hers to deepen the kiss Nolee could feel his tongue glide against hers. After a few more moments of doing that he moved his mouth down to her neck, to that spot he knew she couldn't resist. A soft moan left her mouth and she could feel him smile pleased against her skin. As he gently bit the skin with hands roaming her body, dangerously sliding under her shirt Nolee looked at him.  
  
(author's note : if you're not comfortable reading descriptive sexual scenes now is the time skip ahead :P)  
  
"Connor and Rocco are out there...maybe we should stop." she whispered distractedly by his mouth. Murphy pulled his head away from her neck to briefly stare at her.  
  
"Yeah...maybe should..." he whispered back equally distracted. But when she bit her lip like she always did when she was nervous, Murphy lost any shred of morals left. Smirking he reconnected his lips to hers and Nolee had not protested. Wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him closer to her, Murphy smiled genuinely to see her not pull away this time. Slowly his hands reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it off her head. Nolee's skin flushed as her skin was revealed. Murphy's eyes twinkled at the sight leaning his head back down to kiss a trail down her chest. Working on her pants next he carefully peeled them off her legs watching her face periodically for any signs of protest. When she showed none, Murphy tossed them to the side and eyed her from head toe. Licking his lips feeling his drive increase with every bit of flesh revealed Nolee was only left in her bra and panties.  
  
Murphy had worked on removing his own shirt next tossing it on the floor with her shirt and pants. Nolee's eyes widened a bit at the creamy toned body above her. Her mouth slightly drooled seeing the tattoo on the left side of his chest she didn't know he had. None of them spoke a word but it was obvious by the way their eyes had locked their lust was growing rapidly. Murphy took the initiative to reach behind and remove her black bra. Her skin further flushing feeling vulnerable at the last barrier of clothing between them. There was a moment of hesitation and fear deep inside of her naturally, the realization of her about to let him in.  
  
"Si modo scias quid perfecta sunt."  _(If you only knew how perfect you are.)_ he whispered while his hands caressed her hips and thighs. Stripping her of her underwear and being fully bare to him she instinctively crossed her arms over body, the sudden courage she possessed before disappearing. Murphy only sighed as he pulled her arms apart.

"Why do ye hide from me lass, I tell ye all ta time how beautiful ye are."

"I just feel subconscious.You can't understand when you're not having to deal with your body changing constantly."

"Fair enough love, but trust me ye fuckin' perfect ta me." Murphy whispered once more kissing her deeply before lowering his head down to her breasts and cupping them. Nolee gasped feeling his fingers brush across her sensitive nipples and gently taking one in his mouth. A soft moan escaped at his tongue swirling around the hardened bud as his hand squeezed the other. Delivering the same treatment to the other, his hand had this time slid down between her legs. Her body reacting to his touch squirming slightly.

"Let me show ye how much ye mean to me, let me take of care ye." he whispered more hoarse lowering his head further down while Nolee's breathing increased the more he traveled down south. Dipping his head between her legs Nolee gasped loudly feeling his wet tongue against her mound. Murphy skillfully moved his tongue around exploring all she had to offer as her hand ran through his messy hair. Part of mortified to remember the other two men passed out in her living room and the possibility of them hearing her and Murphy, the other part lost in bliss. The natural process of hormones had taken over her, craving him.

"Murphy..." she whispered tangling her hands further when he delved deeper inside his tongue concentrating on the small bundle of nerves. Her body squirmed under him but his hands only pinned her hips to the mattress. Unable to take the intensity of his mouth and how undeniably skilled he was at this, Nolee felt herself lose control.

"Murphy," she gasped once more as he smiled against her thigh knowingly.

"Let it happen baby, I want ta taste ye." he whispered so huskily that it was all that took her to be sent over the edge. A string of hushed moans filled the room as her intense climax washed over. Her hands buried so deep in hair while her back arched off the mattress slightly. Nolee panted heavily as she came down from her high with legs shaking as Murphy lapped over her now sensitive area. Licking his lips satisfied he slowly raised his head back up.

"Ye taste heavenly." he smirked while she could only stare at him speechless. Murphy quickly stripped himself of his jeans and boxers leaving him in in all his Irish naked glory. Nolee was unable to contain the blush spreading across her cheeks admiring the view in front of her.

"Now this won't ta hurt ta wee little one it?" Murphy questioned awkwardly as he hovered back over her.

"It shouldn't, just as long as you aren't rough."

"T'at I wouldn't be lass." Murphy assured kissing the crook of her neck. "But if ye want ta me stop, just tell me." he whispered sweetly while she smiled at shyly but nodded. Murphy positioned himself between her legs and slowly pushed in, a mix of both their moans synced together. Murphy slowly slid in until he was all the way in before pulling out and repeating his motions. Nolee gripped his forearms gasping while adjusting to his length.

"Are ye okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine." she smiled as he nodded and began to create a steady rhythm. The slight pain quickly to pleasure as she closed her eyes. Murphy moaned satisfied feeling her walls wrap around him accommodatingly.

"Ye feel so good," he softly grunted slightly increasing his speed. It wasn't long until the awkwardness came into play at him trying to move against her bump. Murphy swiftly turned her on her side and re-entered her, letting out another moan of satisfaction in his new choice of position. Able to get better leverage inside her Murphy gripped her hip with one hand and her thigh with the other, pushing himself in deeper causing her to whimper in pleasure. She marveled the way he knew how to handle her body and the underlying passion burning between them.

"Holy shit lass," Murphy grunted into ear gaining more momentum. Nolee quickly felt herself get close again as he buried his face into the crook of her neck.

"I want ye to cum for me again. Ye feel just as amazin' as ye taste." he told her while she closed her eyes in bliss once more, praying hard that the other two males in the living room wouldn't accidentally walk in. Letting the fuzzy feeling grow in between her legs once more she could feel a scream clawing its way up her throat and she did her best to hold it in. But it proved to be a challenged as the intensity quickly picked up and as she was on the edge of another release. Murphy who seemed to read her body language, grabbed her face towards his to kiss her, muffling her scream as she came for the second time squirming against him. Murphy thrust a couple more times before he was sent into his own climax biting his lip to control his own sounds. When both of them had rid out their orgasms Murphy let go of Nolee's thigh and slowly pulled out of her before collapsing onto his back.

Nolee attempted to catch her breath and also fall onto her back while both of them stared up at the ceiling processing what just taken place.

"Christ, I never knew pregnant sex could be t'at satisfying. Ta more ye know I guess." Murphy spoke aloud softly as Nolee laughed lightly.

"I guess so." she whispered as he turned her the other way to face him. His thumb gently caressed the apple of her cheek.

"Also kind of nice not havin' ta worry about a condom and stuff." he added as she narrowed her eyes at the ruined moment.

"Really Murphy?"

"Sorry." he quickly apologized before carrying on with stroking her cheek as she shook her head in slight amusement. Her subconscious starting to wake up as half of her felt guilty for doing what they just did knowing there was company in the house. The other half was too satisfied feeling Murphy's naked body against her own and the way his gaze held hers. A mystery of how he had managed to make her feel things she didn't know she could feel.

"Ye got me under ye spell Nolee Wade." Murphy sighed in confession. The small girl's eyes had glimmered for a brief second as she only nuzzled into his arms. This time there was no imagining Tristan there to haunt her, it was just Murphy. Only Murphy.  
  
  
Reaching over to turn off the lamp on her nightstand Murphy turned the small knob making the room now dark, relaxing into his pillow while still holding her."So how many languages CAN you speak?" she questioned aloud in the dark unable to hide her curiosity hearing him chuckle in response.  
  
"Connor and I are fluent in latin, german, russian, italian, spanish, and french."  
  
"Holy shit."  
  
"Ye, ye can thank our Ma for t'at one as well." Murphy replied before kissing her head. "Now go ta sleep."  
  
"Okay..." she whispered softly burying her face into his neck and allowing the exhaustion of Christmas Eve to consume her.   
  
It was also the first night her nightmares were nowhere to be found.  
____  
  
"Wake up love." Murphy whispered into her ear as her eyes slowly fluttered open feeling lips on her face. There was a moment of shock to see the morning light streaming in from the window and that it had already arrived. Turning her head back she looked up at Murphy hovering over her.  
  
"Merry Christmas." Murphy grinned as he leaned down to kiss her nose making her giggle.  
  
"Merry Christmas Murphy." she replied quietly sitting up as he sat back on his knees.   
  
"Guess I should check on the drunken idiots in the other room." Murphy sighed as she smiled watching him get off her bed and leave the room. As she looked around her room still waking up her eyes scanned the pile of her clothing on the floor, her skin flushed as she remembered what happened last night. Her tired mind questioning if it was all really real now that the morning was here. Looking down at her body seeing she was still naked, she could confirm that yes it had been very real.   
  
Biting her lip she gingerly sat up and quickly took a shower to wash off last night's events. As her hands scrubbed her body with soap it still tingled where Murphy's hands had been. After rinsing off and feeling refreshed Nolee wrapped the towel around her body staring at her reflection.   
  
"Okay, you have to walk out like you didn't just have sex last night." she told herself half afraid to face Connor and Rocco in case they knew what happened. Damn Murphy and his gift of persuasion.  
  
Slipping into a fresh pair of pajamas and wrapping her fluffy robe around herself she mentally prepared for what would else she'd have to endure with the MacManus brothers for Christmas day. Walking out her bedroom she found all three men on her couch talking. Rocco and Connor seemingly back to themselves as they joked around.  
  
"Merry Christmas boys." she told him as all heads turned towards her and smiled.  
  
"Merry Christmas Nolee," all three men replied in unison as she went to hug each of them. Joining them at the couch, she could feel both the brothers' eyes burning a hole into her as she rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yes the gifts under the tree are yours. You can open them now." she told him smiling as they grinned grabbing the presents that each had their name on it. Murphy and Connor first opened up their gifts from each other. Connor was more than pleased at his movie collection gift where Murphy was happy to see new CD's of his favorite bands.   
  
"Rocco this is yours." Nolee smiled handing him his own gift who seemed genuinely surprised to see a gift from her.  
  
"Me?" he questioned unsure if he heard her right making her laugh and nod. He excitedly open the gift box to find a new trench coat.  
  
"A new coat! How did you know?" he asked amazed as Nolee raised her eyebrow looking at the tattered condition of the current one he was wearing, having had enough of it.  
  
"Easy guess Rocco." she teased with a shrug.  
  
"Thank you! I love it!" he grinned sliding off his old coat and proudly wearing the new one. Both boys cheered behind her realizing they had gotten a large carton of cigarettes each from the shaggy haired Italian. When it came time to open the gifts Nolee had gotten them she carefully watched their faces in nervous anticipation.   
  
Both boys looked equally curious upon noticing the celtic cross designed on both boxes. Opening the boxes and studying the various familiar contents inside, both their eyes had widened.  
  
"These are all ta goodies we love from Ireland...how did ye know?" Connor asked, this time it was his turn to be amazed.   
  
"I know it's not much, but I thought maybe it would help you guys when you missed home the most." Nolee explained shrugging.  
  
"Ta candle smells just like back home." Murphy whispered incredulously inhaling the fresh scent of the green candle, his mind seemed to be taken back in time almost. His blue eyes softening when he returned his gaze to  
 her. "Thank you Nolee, this is one of ta best gifts we've ever gotten."  
  
"It really is, thank you lass." Connor added genuinely agreeing with his brother as she blushed.  
  
"You're both very welcome." she answered happy her gifts had pleased them both. While Murphy dug into the packet of black licorice inside his own box, Connor only looked at her confused.  
"What's this tho?" he asked holding up the small piece of paper that had been inside his box with a number on it.  
  
"Kira's number." Nolee smirked as Connor's face had been the one to turn red as he smiled and slid the paper into his jean pocket. Murphy looked at her questioningly clearing not understanding what was going on. She simply gave him a ' I'll tell you later' look and allowed the boys to continue relishing their gifts. Pleased that Christmas morning had been successful for all three men, she prepared to make breakfast and let them watching some more television.  
  
"Oh lass, t'eres _one_ thing we forgot." Murphy told her when she stood up.  
  
"What?" she asked nervously noticing the expression on both the Irishmens' faces. Murphy and Connor smirked at each other before Murphy had went to the corner of her apartment.  
  
"We thought ye might like this." Connor shrugged as Murphy came back with the gift and set it down. Nolee's mouth fell open when she realized the sunflower designed crib was now in her apartment.  
  
"The crib..." she whispered shocked. "H-how did you know?" she asked baffled and it took a moment before it all clicked in her mind. "Connor..." she added knowingly staring up at the spiky haired Irishman.  
  
"I saw ta way you were looking at it t'at night, it seemed like ye really wanted it." he explained with a calm shrug.  
  
"So we talked with ta owner and got it for ye." Murphy chimed in also shrugging while she could only reach out and touch the wooden surface. Feeling the sunflower design in her hands, she could not control the tears that spilled out her eyes. Both brothers looked at each other worriedly wondering if they had done something wrong.  
  
"Do ye not like it, cause I thought...?" Connor began to question but Nolee interjected him by hugging him and Murphy at the same time.  
  
"I love it, I absolutely love it you have no idea." she assured still crying. "I'm only crying because...that crib...it reminds me a lot of my mom." she admitted. "And I don't have much of her to pass on to my baby to keep her memory alive. So this crib...I now have something to pass on, something the baby can remember her grandma by. Thank you both so much." she added unapologetically sobbing in the brothers' arms while they hugged her back.  
  
"Ye don't have ta thanks us lass...we're family now, and families take care of each other." Murphy explained as she only closed her eyes and held on to them tightly. There was no doubt in her mind that Murphy had been right, all that was missing was Kira. How was it that people you may have known only temporarily could do so much for you than the people you've spent your whole life with? In that moment this was where she belonged, in the arms of the Irish brothers, this was _home_.   
  
But the thing was...would it last?


	23. Charlotte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

With Christmas over the MacManus brothers had returned to work to continue on with their normal tasks at the meat packing plant. Connor of course had welcomed Rosengurtle back with a few jokes that were not appreciated and before the large woman got too upset, Murphy had reigned his brother in once again. Carrying on with their tasks of trimming meat fat and unboxing shipments, the brothers worked calmly side by side.  
  
"So, ye ready ta spend more time at this lovely place?" Connor smiled as he slid on a fresh pair of gloves.  
  
"What ye mean?" Murphy asked looking at his twin in confusion.  
  
"Well ye got a family ta care for now brudder, ye better put more hours in." Connor smirked as Murphy rolled his eyes.  
  
"Shut up Connor."  
  
"What? I'm being serious, in case ye didn't know brudder, babies aren't cheap. Better start thinkin' ahead Papa Murph, ye gotta a lot of dirty diapers comin' ye way."  
  
"Murphy, ye havin' a baby? I didn't know t'at congratulations!" McGerkin exclaimed appearing beside the boys. "When did this happen?"  
  
"Well...umm..." Murphy stammered awkwardly at his boss while Connor smiled smugly.  
  
"Ye boss t'is be true, but ye see Murphy's actually adopting. Such a givin' person our Murphy is ye? A modern day Mother Teresa if ye ask me." Connor added to their boss. If looks could kill, Connor would already be on the floor.  
  
"Aye, how mighty sweet of ye lad. Guess you'll be needing more overtime, I'll schedule it." McGerkin joked as Murphy shuffled on his feet.  
  
"It's not t'at expensive is it?" Murphy questioned nervously. "Right...?"  
  
McGerkin only chuckled as he began to walk away. "Poor bastard,"  
  
"Don't worry brudder I bet ye will be a baby expert in no time. But if ye ever in need remember Mary Poppins' is just a song away." Connor replied twiddling his fingers.  
  
"Ye know this is exactly why Ma likes me better." Murphy huffed in annoyance at his brother's badgering.  
  
"Haha yea we'll see about t'at. Pretty sure after she finds out about ye little arrangement, I'll be ta favorite son."  
______  
  
  
  
"So, how was Christmas with your family?" Nolee asked as both her and Kira found themselves back at the mall after work. They weren't out of the woods just yet with the large crowds, but after Black Friday majority of people were home from being broke now. Today was a rare day the girls barely got to chat at Cosmo's with all the customers.  
  
"Meh it was the same as always. Parents made a big dinner, my sister Ashley said something to piss my parents off as usual, and my aunt Mary brought home husband number four." Kira shrugged.  
  
"Four?" Nolee question eyes wide as Kira nodded simply.  
  
"Clearly she's the ultimate expert in picking husbands."  
  
"I can't imagine having four husbands." Nolee laughed shaking her head.  
  
"I can't imagine a husband period."  
  
"You don't see yourself ever getting married?"  
  
"Unless it's Freddie Prinze Jr. then perhaps, but if not I don't foresee myself getting married anytime soon."  
  
"I don't think I am either." Nolee shrugged casually never putting much into it.  
  
"You mean you wouldn't you want to marry your Irish prince?" Kira gasped in sarcasm. "I don't believe that."  
  
"You don't believe in relationships period, so who are you to judge?" Nolee half teased but was half serious.  
  
"Hey, just cause I don't want full commitment right now, doesn't mean I wouldn't later on. It's just more fun and freeing having no strings attached, no offense."  
  
"Different strokes for different folks." Nolee shrugged unoffended. "You never know though, even you Kira Marie Martin could find that one guy to tie you down." Nolee reminded.  
  
"It be better be because he's about to do some naughty naughty things to me." Kira winked while Nolee could only sigh at the taller brunette when they reached the food court again.  
  
"And what about you, how was Christmas in Ireland?"  
  
"It was good...really good." Nolee smiled to herself as she recalled all the events that took place in her little apartment, more so at the last event.  
  
"You said that with wayyy too much enthusiasm." Kira noted suspiciously while Nolee simply looked away but the blush on her cheeks was evident. Kira gasped as if her radar had gone off making her emerald eyes as wide a saucers.  
  
"YOU GOT LAID!" Kira shouted excitedly causing the people in the food court to turn their heads and stare at the girls with a mix of confusion and disgust. Wanting to die from embarrassment Nolee questioned if this was truly the day she'd experience being in handcuffs from strangling her best friend.  
  
 _'Don't do it Nolee, don't it. Prison bread is gross. Orange isn't your color.'_  
  
"Kira, just why-"  
  
"Christmas miracles really do exist! You finally dusted off those cobwebs, I'm so proud of you! Hey wait where are you going?" Kira asked as Nolee began to walk off away pretending she didn't know the taller brunette.  
  
"So?! I need details, how did it even happen?" Kira asked bewildered when she caught up to the pregnant girl.  
  
"I don't know..." Nolee answered embarrassed. "It just sort of happened...Rocco and Connor had passed out drunk-"  
  
"Wait, you banged even though Rocco and Connor were in the apartment?! You little hussy you have a daring side after all, I'm so impressed." Kira stated in pure amazement.  
  
"It's not like I planned it okay?!" Nolee huffed. "It just happened."  
  
"Well...how was it?" Kira grinned biting her lip in anticipation as the smaller girl sighed and shrugged.  
  
"It was...amazing." Nolee whispered recalling such events still in disbelief it had actually happened as Kira clapped her hands.  
  
"I'm so happy right now! Tell me more, what position did you use? Is he big?" Kira questioned wiggling her eyebrows.  
  
"I'm done with conversation."  
  
~  
  
After prying for more details and Nolee refusing to answer, Kira finally let it go but pouted about it in the process as they made their way over to the maternity department store.  
  
"You're committing the ultimate best friend crime not telling me you know." Kira groveled.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Nolee waved her hand dismissively focusing on the clothes in front of her. Kira finally dropped the subject as soon as the actual shopping began. Nolee reluctantly let the taller girl have control of her clothing choices, but seeing as Kira was the ultimate fashionista, it couldn't hurt to let her lend a hand of expertise. Giving Nolee a selection to choose from, Nolee begrudgingly when to try them all on. Surprisingly to Nolee Kira's choices hadn't been to ridiculous or revealing, she ended up liking most of the choices. It helped her self esteem feel a little better about accepting the fact she was becoming a planet.  
  
Satisfied with her purchases and looking at the mall clock, Nolee realized it was time to meet Murphy.  
  
"I have to get going, I told Murphy I'd meet him at the meat packing plant when I was finished."  
  
"Before you go, just tell me the goods please." Kira whined as Nolee rolled her eyes.  
  
"Oh my god fine. He's definitely got a lot equipment and knows how to use it okay? Are you happy now?" Nolee huffed in annoyance while Kira simply giggled.  
  
"I knew it."  
____  
  
Nolee walked Kira to the subway station before they officially parted ways and she made her way over to the meat packing plant. She was relieved to find Murphy smoking a cigarette leaning against the wall. She bit her lip hoping he hadn't been waiting long.  
  
"What ye already shoppin' for next Christmas?" Murphy teased immediately noticing the shopping bags in her hand, the girl only stuck her tongue out childishly.  
  
"I had to go get some new clothes that fit actually, in case you haven't noticed lately I'm a blimp."  
  
"Aye, but a _pretty_ blimp ye are lass." Murphy clarified attempting to be helpful making her roll her eyes at him.  
  
"Thanks." Nolee replied sarcastically as he finished his cigarette and put it off with his boot.  
  
"Anytime." he smirked wrapping an around her as they began to walk away from the meat packing plant.  
  
"I went shopping with Kira." Nolee further explained as Murphy nodded.  
  
"Speaking of Kira, you want ta tell me what's going with her and me brudder?" Murphy questioned raising an eyebrow.  
  
"When I asked Connor for his blessing, I had asked him to come into Cosmo's to meet me. Seems like they have a mutual crush I guess, Kira more so than Connor, but yeah."  
  
"Aye, well isn't t'at ironic."  
  
"Alanis Morissette thinks so, so yeah."  
  
After allowing Murphy to try the new hot dog place that recently opened up, Nolee was at least able to cure one half of her craving.  
  
"Ye damn near cleaned t'at poor man out of his sauerkraut lass. I'm grossed out and impressed at ta same time." Murphy teased as they found themselves back at their routine spot of the Boston Harbor. Nolee had come to love it as her own thinking place.  
  
"Sorry, I'm starting to have weird cravings. I can't be held responsible for what else I'll want later, and as the boyfriend to a prego, you're supposed to shut up and let me have it. I don't make the rules Murphy."  
  
"Yea okay sure lass." Murphy retorted with a smirk as they sat down on their favorite bench overlooking the water eating their hot dogs.  
  
"Ye know...ye never did tell me why ye choose ta come ta Boston specifically." Murphy noted in curiosity.  
  
"It's sort of a lame reason honestly." Nolee admitted running a hand through her hair.  
  
"Now I'm really curious." Murphy lightly teased as he turned to face her. "Come on, tell me. I promise I won't think it's lame."  
  
"Well one of my mother's favorite movies had been _'Now, Voyager'_ starring Bette Davis and Paul Henreid, she really loved Bette Davis and old Hollywood movies, like a lot." Nolee explained laughing slightly thinking about her mother's infatuations.  
  
"Anyways, the character Charlotte Vale was a Boston heiress who was slightly unhinged because of her mother's crude behavior towards her, and Charlotte wasn't exactly "pretty" as one would define. Charlotte's sister-in-law brings in a psychiatrist because she believes Charlotte's treatment by her mother is causing her serious harm than the family truly understands. Well the psychiatrist sends Charlotte to his sanitarium where she actually recovers quickly having been away from her awful mother. Not wanting to go back home just yet though, Charlotte is offered a cruise by her sister in law. It's there in Rio she meets a man Jerry whom she falls in love with despite him being married, although unhappily. They ended up having an affair of course and even though they fall in love during the cruise, they make a promise to not see each other again, for Jerry would never actually abandon his wife _and_ daughters. Inevitably after some time circumstances make them meet again, but the reason I liked the movie was because when Charlotte finally returns home to Boston, she's a brand new person. She no longer allows her mother to control her and manipulate her. She's independent...and that was beautiful to me." Nolee explained to him softly as her eyes drifted towards the harbor and sighed deeply.  
  
"When it came time...to leave Tristan, I had no idea where I was wanting to go, I just wanted to get away as far as possible. But when I sat down on the train hopeless yet hopeful, I realized the train had been playing Now, Voyager. Call me cliche, but it sort of seemed like it was a sign. I wanted to be like Charlotte, I wanted to be free." Nolee whispered keeping her eyes towards the water. She could feel Murphy's hand intertwine with hers.  
  
"T'ats why you picked Boston." Murphy replied putting the pieces together as she nodded.  
  
"I told you it was lame."  
  
"It's not lame Nolee, it's beautiful." Murphy scolded her gently. "I don't get how ye won't ever give yourself credit for havin' ta guts ta leave a shitty situation."  
  
"Because I'm not like Charlotte. I might be in Boston, but I still live in fear. I'm not completely free." Nolee reasoned gritting her teeth.  
  
"But ye _are_ like Charlotte love. Ta minute ye walked out t'at door, ye became Charlotte don't ye see t'at?" Murphy reasoned back seeing her lips purse in thought. "Every day ye live away from ye past, ye are Charlotte." he declared as she slowly turned her head back to face him, hating how he undoubtedly did seem to be right all the time. Nolee sighed once more as she reached for the locket hanging around her neck and opened it.  
  
"This is my mom." she told him pointing at the picture.  
  
"She's beautiful." Murphy whispered as she nodded.  
  
"She was very beautiful. Even when the cancer had taken over, she was still beautiful."  
  
"Is t'at how she died? It was cancer?" Murphy whispered frowning while she slowly nodded.  
  
"She had breast cancer. By the time she found out it had already been too aggressive. This is one of the few pictures I had left of her. She didn't want me to remember her the way she looked when she died, but she was always beautiful to me."  
  
"I'm sorry Nolee. I can't imagine how hard it was ta lose ye mom so young." Murphy consoled rubbing her arm. "What about your dad? How come ye never mention him?"  
  
"How can you mention someone who was never there?" Nolee questioned rhetorically although looking into Murphy's eyes. "I don't even know if I can classify him as a dad anymore. After my mom passed my dad changed completely. Before she died he was pretty decent, a little rough around the edges but anyone could see how much he loved my mother. Both of us didn't know how to grieve, and my dad just inevitably shut down, shutting me out too. I tried so hard to be close to him, I needed him more than ever and he just...wasn't there mentally. So in a way it was like I lost both my parents. He wouldn't even let me keep most of my mom's momentos, that's why I was broken hearted when I thought I lost my locket."  
  
"Some people can't handle grief as strongly as others lass. Perhaps ye dad was enduring a painful battle ye didn't know about. Not t'at it is an excuse for shuttin' ye out all this time, but people grieve differently unfortunately." Murphy replied with his own perspective as she nodded.  
  
"I just wish she was still here sometimes. I thought I needed her badly back then, it doesn't compare to how bad I need her now. She would've been an amazing grandma."  
  
"I'm more than certain she's still watchin' over ye and ye little one. Don't worry." Murphy assured kissing her head lightly. Nolee nestled into his neck like she always did as they sat watching the water together.  
  
"Why do bad things happen to good people?" she whispered after sometime. She could feel Murphy shift uneasily beneath her as he sighed.  
  
"I can't answer t'at love, I don't know why some t'ings happen ta way they do, we may never know ta answer. Ta only t'ing ye **can** do is redirect ye frustration with injustice and unfairness, channel it into a drive ta _fight_ injustice and unfairness. Combat ta world with goodness." Murphy replied firmly causing her to lift her head up at him incredulously.  
  
"Is that what your tattoos mean?" she questioned knowingly glancing at his finger as Murphy hesitated slightly but nodded.  
  
"Yes lass." he answered gently. Nolee only half smiled at him before putting her head back down on him, it had explained so much about him.  
  
"So I learned something new today." Murphy mused.  
  
"Oh yeah? What's that?" Nolee mused lifting her eyes to face him.  
  
"Apparently when ye have a kid, it's expensive?" Murphy thought aloud holding his hands out while all she could do is laugh.  
  
"Why are you thinking about that all of the sudden?"  
  
"Just thought it would be good...ta plan ahead." he answered awkwardly rubbing his ear. Nolee could sense there was something else to what Murphy was saying, but decided not to pester him about it.  
  
"Well it is somewhat, but I've been saving money Murphy. I'll also probably be working until I give birth so, I think we'll be okay for the first couple months after." she assured patting his hand as he smiled at her.  
  
"Ye right, we'll be okay." he agreed as they sat on the bench for a moment in a peaceful silence, until Murphy spoke.  
  
"Ye know since New Year's comin' up Connor and I usually spend it at McGinty's. I thought we could go together but if ye don't want to partake, I'm more than happy ta stay home and watch Ghostbusters." he smirked as she rolled her eyes at the way he actually thought he'd get to pick the movie. Nolee pondered the thought around and suddenly throwing caution to the wind, she shrugged.  
  
"You know, sure. Sounds like fun."  
  
"Really?" he asked surprised at her genuine enthusiasm. "Ye never usually t'at upbeat about parties. What's wrong wit ye, ye gettin' a cold?" he teased.  
  
"Well, it's not much longer until I'm unable to go out at all for a while. Might as well enjoy what little time I have left."  
  
"Alright t'en, it's a date." Murphy winked making her smile as they finally got up from the bench, Murphy reached into his pocket to pull out his sunglasses and slid them on.  
  
"Hey lass, ye not gonna make me go ta all those mommy classes and shit are ye?" Murphy questioned randomly and a bit fearfully while she only raised her eyebrow.  
  
"I wasn't going to but since you're showing _so much_ enthusiasm, I guess I'll be bringing you along when the time comes." Nolee smirked this time walking away as Murphy's jaw dropped walking off after her.  
  
"Aww come on lass."  
  



	24. New Years at McGinty's.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a good thing we are, if one more customer told me 'see you next year' I'd flip a table."

"God it's such a glorious feeling when we get to close this early." Kira sighed happily as she removed her apron and hung it on its hook. New Years Eve meant the coffee shop would close at 2 as most businesses in Boston had on this day.  
  
"It's a good thing we are, if one more customer told me 'see you next year' I'd flip a table."  
  
"I still kind of want to see you do that, pregnant and all." Kira mused raising her eyebrow at the mental image.  
  
"Don't give me ideas." Nolee smiled as she finished counting the register. "You know the guys are planning on attending the party at McGinty's tonight."  
  
"Yeah, I already know about it." Kira smiled with a nod.  
  
"Oh yeah...how so?" Nolee questioned narrowing her eyes at Kira.  
  
"Connor may or may not have called me last night to invite me." Kira shrugged innocently. "Interesting how he got my number."  
  
"It is interesting how he got your number, damn that clever spiky haired Irishman." Nolee retorted snapping her fingers.  
  
"You told him it didn't you?" Kira accused with a faint smile.  
  
"Moi? I don't know what you're talking about." Nolee shrugged this time hanging up her own apron.  
  
"Well however he got it, I told him I would go."  
  
"Great cause I already told the guys we'd meet them there."  
  
"It doesn't start till 9 right? What shall we do until then?" Kira mused putting a finger on her chin in thought.  
  
"Well, I do owe you a girls night still. We can hang out and pig out until it's time to get ready. I need your help picking an outfit out anyways."  
  
"Sounds perfect to me, I'm in."  
  
"Ahh girls, I'll being seeing you next year yeah?" Cosmo appeared smirking at his joke while Kira laughed hearing Nolee grunt to herself.  
  
"Flip the table on Cosmo, do it, do it!" Kira quietly egged the small girl on who shot her a glare.  
  
"Got any special plans tonight Cosmo?" Nolee smiled politely ignoring her best friend.  
  
"I do in fact. Kind of hard to believe it, but I have a date." Cosmo stated proudly.  
  
"Oh really? Who's the 'lucky' gal?" Kira inquired morbidly curious.  
  
"Well her name is Kathy and we met at the grocery store, she was standing behind me in line."  
  
"Oh, that's actually really cute." Nolee replied surprised.  
  
"Yeah well I have to admit the reason we started talking was because I accidentally farted in line. That Indian place on Broad is amazing but deadly, anyways she asked me if I smelled that and of course I didn't tell her it was because of me. We ended up talking more anyways and well she turned out to be quite the foxy lady, who knew my accidental flatulence would land me a date." Cosmo shrugged still smiling. "I knew the ladies couldn't resist the jumpsuits."  
  
"That's quite the story Cosmo...I'm really happy for you..." Nolee replied unsure of how to respond.  
  
"Yeah, I hope it all works out..." Kira nodded awkwardly.  
  
"Thanks girls, you really are the best. Oops I should head off, probably a good idea if I shave my back before tonight. Thanks for closing up, stay safe tonight girls."  
  
"We will Cosmo." both girls assured in unison as their boss gave a way before exiting the shop.  
  
"I don't know why I bothered to ask." Kira spoke after a long moment of silence between them both.  
  
"Just goes to show you there's a lid for every pot I guess."  
  
Once the girls closed up the coffee shop they excitedly headed back to Nolee's where they indeed have a girls day of watching movies, eating junk food, and gushing over Mark McGrath naturally when they played Sugar Ray videos on MTV. It was the perfect start to whatever would take place tonight. Nolee couldn't help but feel like she was making up it to her teenage self who longed to know what it was like to have girl pals and sleepovers.  
  
"So are you going to let Murphy move in when the baby's born...or?"  
  
"Umm I don't know we haven't gotten that far yet. Even though he pretty much stays at my apartment now." Nolee shrugged in response thinking about the fact that Murphy basically even had his own drawer for his clothes at her apartment.  
  
"You wouldn't want to find a new place with him?"  
  
"I don't know! Why do you always have to put me on the spot like this?" Nolee replied uneasy at her friend's badgering about her and Murphy's relationship.  
  
"Sorry, don't mean to. Just sort of fascinated with the two of you I guess."  
  
"Umm okay. But if Murphy wanted to...I suppose I wouldn't be against it." the smaller girl admitted biting her lip.  
  
"That is so cute! Look at you starting the new year off with a new beau. Life is perfect for you right now."  
  
"Nothing is ever perfect Kira."  
  
"Never say never girlfriend."  
  
"Okay, are you going to help me get ready or what?" Nolee teased as the taller girl clapped her hands.  
  
"Let's get you sexy mama bear."  
  
The next two hours were dedicated to both girls getting ready for the night at McGinty's, although they had spent more time singing along to Sugar Ray than getting ready. Kira had pinned Nolee's hair up to switch things up and thankfully it did not resemble Betty Boop this time. Wearing a red off the shoulder long sleeved top and black leggings with matching red flats, Kira did Nolee's makeup accordingly. Kira on the other hand wore a black long sleeved mini dress with matching suede thigh high boots, complete with dark smoky makeup and curled hair.  
  
"We look amazing." Kira sighed proud of her work as always.  
  
"No, YOU look amazing, I'm a whale compared to you." Nolee teased.  
  
"Not even, you carry pregnancy well sweetheart." Kira assured as she studied her own reflection in the mirror. Nolee noticed the taller girl critiquing herself as she rolled her eyes.  
  
"Kira cut the crap, you know you look beautiful. Connor is going to drool all night." Nolee reassured with a light smirk.  
  
"You think so?" Kira blushed as the small girl nodded and smiled.  
  
"Blue balls and all."  
  
"You always know just the right words to say."  
___  
  
  
"You know? I think this year is really gonna be a good one, I can feel it." Rocco smiled optimistically as both brothers rolled their eyes in unison sitting at the bar.  
  
"Ye say t'at every year Roc." Murphy retorted.  
  
"Ye and and every year ye still be ta same jackass ye always been." Connor added sipping his beer as Rocco shrugged unbothered.  
  
"Hey it's the thought that counts right? I'm serious though, I feel good about this one."  
  
"Sure Roc." both brothers replied to appease the Italian.  
  
"I mean look at how ya micks are doing. Not along you Irish bastards were having a hard time navigating the city and finding work. Now Connor's on the verge of a promotion, and Murphy's found himself a beautiful girl."  
  
"A pregnant one at that too."  
  
"Aww come on, that doesn't really take away from anything does it? Nolee's a sweetheart, you're very lucky Murphy."  
  
"I know I am Roc." Murphy smiled lightly.  
  
"Hopefully I myself will be able to climb up the ladder this year in my line of work."  
  
"Are you sure you really want that Roc?" Murphy asked uneasy at the idea.  
  
"Ye, are ye sure can trust Yakavetta?" Connor added sharing his twin's opinion.  
  
"I'm tired of being known just as the package man, I want to be respected." Rocco explained with a longing sigh.  
  
"Just be careful Roc, please." Murphy requested lifting his gaze at his best friend.  
  
"I promise I know what I'm doing alright? I've been managing to get in Pappa Joe's good graces lately, I'll be fine." Rocco assured more sternly concentrating on his beer. "Besides, you both got more important things to tend to do." Rocco added giving them a wink as he motioned to the door. Both brothers scanned the doorway and both their blue eyes sparkled as the two brunette girls looked around the bar before spotting them.  
  
"There you guys are. Happy almost new year." Nolee smiled approaching the three males, smiling to herself when she felt Murphy's hands wrap around her waist reeling her into his lap.  
  
"Mm hello t'ere beautiful ye come here often?" Murphy smirked making her giggle.  
  
"You know, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate you grabbing onto me this way." Nolee whispered looking up at him.  
  
"Oh ye, who's ta boyfriend ye speak of, I'll kick his ass." Murphy whispered still smirking as she only smiled and pressed her lips against his.  
  
"Hi Connor..." Kira waved shyly at the spiky haired brother who nearly spit out his drink.  
  
"Lass...ye look _hokin' sot._ I mean smokin' hot." Connor mumbled nervously as both Nolee and Murphy tried to contain their laughter at the usually composed Irishman stumbling on his words.  
  
"Thank you Connor." Kira replied giggling but blushing at his words as she walked closer to where he stood.  
  
"Alright, I think it's time we get this party officially started!" Rocco grinned clasping his hands together as his eyes searched for Doc behind the bar.  
  
"Hey fuck ass, get us some more beers!"  
_____  
  
The crowd of McGinty's grew larger by the hour as people came into celebrate New Years Eve. The beers began to spill as the laughter roared through the bar, each person having a good time with their friends or family. As the five adults joked with each other Nolee smiled to herself periodically observing her best friend attempt to get to know her boyfriend's twin brother. It was adorable watching the two be so awkwardly flirty with each other. Nolee's gaze switched over to the other brother who was currently in an intense debate with Rocco over superheroes. Adoringly she stared watching his hands madly twitch as he explained his side passionately of why Superman was better than Batman.  
  
Biting her lip as she thought back to Halloween night and the moment they shared in the alley way. That moment she almost fell with Murphy's hands there to catch there. The fall leading up to that first kiss. This was really where it had all started.  
  
Nolee wasn't sure if she'd ever get over how much had changed for the better in the last couple months. From nearly nothing when she moved to Boston to celebrating a new year with four people she now considered family.

"Well you know what t-they say, people in glass houses s-sink ships." Doc had declared when had been engaged in a conversation with the three males who giggled to themselves.

"Listen Doc, I need to buy you a proverb book or something, this mix and match shit has got to go." Roc replied making the whole group laugh this time. As it got closer to midnight Nolee quickly got up from her seat.  
  
"I have to use the bathroom." she whispered to Murphy who noticed her getting up.  
  
"Hurry back ye, it's almost time ta do ta countdown." Murphy reminded her as she smiled and kissed him before heading off towards the bathroom. This time she was not bothered by the large crowd, having been in a good mood for once nothing could ruin her night.  
  
Just as she was about to make her way to the ladies' room a body accidentally bumped into hers.  
  
"Oh shit, I'm sorry." the male apologized as Nolee lifted her head up towards the body. The slight irritation had faded when she recognized the familiar face.  
  
"Hey...it's you." she told the tall male who had been the one help her out with the asshole customer.  
  
"Oh hey...fancy seeing you here." he smiled recognizing her as well. "You stalking me or what?" he lightly teased.  
  
"I promise I'm not, I'm just here with my people." she teased back pointing to the front of the bar.  
  
"Oh I see. Well I hope you haven't had to deal with anymore dickheads since that day."  
  
"A couple here and there but not as bad at that douche.Thanks again though for sticking up for me." Nolee explained making the male laugh.  
  
"I told you a thanks wasn't necessary. I'm Foster by the way." he introduced himself extending a hand.  
  
"Nolee." she replied politely shaking it.  
  
"Well Nolee, I trust you're enjoying yourself so far?"  
  
"I am actually." she confirmed.  
  
"I'd offer to buy you a drink but..." he motioned to her stomach awkwardly smiling.  
  
"There's always mozzarella sticks." Nolee teased.  
  
"I'd be more than happy to oblige, just come find me." Foster teased back as Nolee had been the one to awkwardly smile.  
  
"Perhaps. But I actually came to use the restroom before the countdown begins."  
  
"Ahh yes, of course. Well in case I don't see you around later, happy new year." Foster smiled softly waving his hand.  
  
"Happy new year." she smiled back before Foster had made his way over to the other side of the bar. Feeling that distinct feeling at the coffee shop again, Nolee shook the thoughts away as she quickly went to relieve herself so she could head back to everyone.  
  
"T'ere ye are lass, I was startin' to get worried." Murphy sighed in relief when she finally came back.  
  
"Sorry got a little caught up." she explained sitting back down on the barstool.  
  
"Ye okay?" he questioned concerned.  
  
"I'm fine." she assured. "I didn't miss the countdown did I?"  
  
"Not yet we got a couple minutes ta go still, ye good." he smiled sipping his beer. She couldn't help but feel bad zeroing in on the way he was slowly drinking his beer, knowing it'd probably be the only one he got to have. Compared to Rocco, Kira, and Connor who were way ahead of him. A part of her felt guilty he'd been having to miss out the last couple times on account of her.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm a boring New Years Eve date." she apologized at being limited party wise.  
  
"What ye mean? I get ta spend ta night with my two girls, I'm quite lucky wouldn't ye say?" Murphy winked as Nolee attempted not fall apart right then and there at his words, not sure if he realized what he said. Looking away to hide her flushed face she could hear the crowd start to cheer.  
  
"It's time for ta countdown! Fuck, Ass!" Doc announced from behind the counter.  
  
"Uh oh!" Rocco beamed already buzzed.  
  
"10...9...8...7...6." the many patrons of McGinty's shouted. Looking at the television countdown, Murphy's arms wrapped around her tight.  
  
"5...4...3...2...1...Happy New Year!" the bar had echoed as more cheers and screams erupted while some couples had kissed each other. Nolee smiled seeing Kira inhale an excited breath when Connor leaned in himself to kiss her. Everything felt so...pure.  
  
"Happy New Years Charlotte." Murphy whispered into her ear making her tilt her head up.  
  
"Happy New Years Jerry." she whispered back as their lips connected and in that moment it was like the world gone into slow motion as she relished his lips. This time Nolee wouldn't feel guilty for enjoying herself, this was exactly what she needed and it gave her the confirmation she'd been desperately seeking.  
  
It was officially time to move on from everything.  
___  
  
*Outside the bar at McGinty's*  
  
Sliding his hand into his dark jean pocket and pulling out his phone, his large fingers pushed the memorized number. After a couple of rings the familiar voice on the other end answered.  
  
"It's Foster." he spoke into the phone as he turned his gaze back towards the bar hearing the voice on the end speak. Concentrating at the celebrating crowd a smirk slowly spread across his face.  
  
"Yeah...I found her."


	25. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It says here there's a 1 in 1500 chance a baby is born a hermaphrodite. What if the baby comes out with a dick?!"

With the holidays officially over there was always a breath of relief to be able to go back to your normal every day routine. There was still hustle and bustle from working class citizens, but at least the damn holiday music had ceased.  
  
It may have been a harsh winter still in Boston, but Nolee had to admit 1999 had been off to a good start. Entering her third trimester had been a little nerve wracking as she was in the 7 month range now more or less. Two more months and the mysterious life in her stomach would be making an appearance.  
  
She tried to keep herself calm and not stress about it. But each time she did, there was a gentle reminder of Murphy's presence a reminder that she was not enduring this journey alone like she had originally planned to. Even if it still was taking some to get used to idea of being physically intimate with someone again, she felt hopeful at the new progress she was making.  
  
Nolee was completely used to seeing the three males in her life at her apartment often at this point. She had also gotten used to cooking for four people instead of one, and even though it was a little overwhelming sometimes, she didn't mind cooking for them. At least they had been appreciative each time and looking at the bright side, it helped her perfect her culinary skills. Although she couldn't help but feel the twin brothers were getting rather spoiled by all her home cooking.  
  
Murphy had been nothing short of amazing in the support department of course. Despite her mood swings getting more unpredictable each day, he hadn't held it against her. She felt the most guilty when the late night cravings had started to bug her and she'd send poor Murphy out to get what she wanted. But hey, that's the price you pay with pregnancy. At least Murphy had been kind of enough to not complain...too much. The only thing she seemed to resent him for was that he hadn't appreciated her 'womb service' joke as much it deserved.  
  
"It says here there's a 1 in 1500 chance a baby is born a hermaphrodite. What if the baby comes out with a dick?!" Kira gasped horrified making the smaller girl sigh and close her eyes in attempt to calm herself. She was starting to resent the fact that Murphy wasn't able to come with her to her doctor's appointment this time because of work, but she knew it wasn't fault so she couldn't be mad at him.  
  
"Can you stop messing with the modules please?" Nolee scolded as they waited for Dr. Garcia to enter the room. "You're worse than a child sometimes."  
  
"Sorry, it's grossly intriguing to be honest. I mean look how big your uterus is going to become when you give birth, I feel sorry for you already."  
  
"Yeah you sound real sorry."  
  
"Speaking of which, are you going to take those classes that teach you about birth and all that jazz? What's it called again, lasagna?" Kira asked furrowing her eyebrows.  
  
" _Lamaze_ class Kira, it's lamaze."  
  
"Oh yeah, that. Are you going to sign up?"  
  
"I already signed up a long time ago, classes get full fast so you have to do it really early. It should be starting next week." Nolee explained.  
  
"I can't believe you're so close to giving birth now. Are you making Murphy go with you?"  
  
"I wasn't going to force him, but since he showed me how nervous he was about it, now I definitely am making him go." Nolee teased.  
  
"You're so cruel...I love it." Kira winked just as Dr. Garcia entered the room.  
  
"Miss Wade, good to see you. Kind of hard to believe you're in the third trimester isn't it? Aww no Murphy this time?" she added realizing he had not been present.  
  
"He had to work." Nolee explained lightly smiling. "But I brought my best friend Kira today."  
  
"I'm the auntie." Kira declared proudly.  
  
"Well welcome in aunt Kira." Dr. Garcia replied amused. "Hope you're practicing your skills often now, the big moment will be here before you know it."  
  
"It's starting to go really fast now, I'm getting nervous." Nolee admitted.  
  
"It's okay to be nervous, but remember things are going to be just fine. You're taking birthing classes aren't you?"  
  
"I am, I start next week."  
  
"Perfect then maybe that'll help you to relax somewhat knowing what to expect when time comes. How are you feeling otherwise?"  
  
"Pretty good other than the fact my bladder is being used as a punching bag and heartburn hurts like hell." Nolee shrugged.  
  
"The sacrifices we make to keep a baby comfortable." Dr. Garcia laughed walking over to her. "You know the drill by now don't you?"  
  
"Yes I do." Nolee nodded as they went through the routine checkup.  
  
"Still looks good. Baby is measuring about 14 inches now and weighing approximately 2-4 pounds."  
  
"My niece is the cutest! I hope she doesn't come out bald though." Kira gushed enthralled at the screen as Nolee couldn't help but laugh at the girl.  
  
"The reason you're feeling more pressure in your bladder is because the baby is starting face downward. If you start to feel braxton hicks, or what seem like mild contractions don't be alarmed, it's normal for it start at this stage. Good news is should you give birth prematurely the baby would have a good chance of surviving this early."  
  
"Good to know."  
  
"Overall you're doing just fine. Although sadly this will be your last ultrasound, we just like to make sure baby's beginning to move in the birthing direction. It's probably a good idea to make sure you're registered to give birth at the hospital at this point, once you reach 36 weeks we'll need to see you every week ater to check cervix dilation. Do you have any questions?"  
  
"I don't think so." Nolee smiled shaking her head.  
  
"Actually doc, can you tell me more about this 1 in 1500 hermaphrodite thing?"  
  
"Damn it Kira..."  
_____  
  
"Can you pick up the pace woman?" Kira sighed when they were finished with Nolee's appointment.  
  
"Excuse me I'm waddling as fast I can here. Not everyone was born like you daddy long legs." Nolee retorted with a huff.  
  
"Now that you mention it, I realize you do waddle. It's so cute, you're like a penguin." Kira grinned amused.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"I'm just teasing, don't get all crabby."  
  
"I'm growing life here, I'll be crabby if I want." Nollee glared pointing a finger at the other girl.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Will seeing a movie make you feel better? The new Matrix movie just came out with Keanu, hey we could double date!" Kira clapped excitedly.  
  
"Double date as in you going with Connor?"  
  
"Yeah...?"  
  
"I take it things are going well between you too?" Nolee mused.  
  
"For the most part..."  
  
"You've know ever since New Years you've been spending a lot of time with him lately..." Nolee noted raising her eyebrow.  
  
"What, no I haven't." Kira denied as a blush crept on her cheeks. "We just happen to have a lot more in common than I thought. His western movie obsession is a little weird though, but whatever."  
  
"Mhmm sure."  
  
"I'm serious! It's like not we've banged or anything." Kira defended crossing her arms under her chest.  
  
"Oh my god, you really _do_ like him." Nolee gasped surprised. "You've never waited this long to bang someone. Kira I think you're falling in lo-"  
  
"Nope, I can't hear you anymore. La la la la." Kira replied childishly putting her hands over ears.  
  
"Don't deny it Kira Martin." Nolee smirked as the taller girl only shook her head.  
  
"Still can't hear you. La la la."  
  
"You're going to have to admit sooner or later I'm calling it now."  
  
"Whatever you say penguin." Kira retorted as they reached the meat packing plant. The girls both smiled to themselves seeing the twins smoking and arguing in their usual spot like always.  
  
"Hello boys."  
  
"Aye, hello pretty ladies." both brothers smiled in unison.  
  
"So, how did ta appointment go?" Murphy asked curiously.  
  
"It went good, baby is doing just fine. Kira learned about hermaphrodites."  
  
"Uhh t'ats...cool?" Murphy replied while squinting his eyes.  
  
"Yeah your baby could have a dick when she's born." Kira smirked as Murphy's eyes widened making Nolee roll her eyes.  
  
"Don't listen to her."  
  
"Umm well anything else happen?" Murphy questioned uneasy.  
  
"I gained 5 more pounds." Nolee frowned at still trying to adjust to her belly growing.  
  
"Aye, ye still look beautiful ta me lass. If it's any consolation, ye breasts look extra amazin' lately." Murphy noted in satisfaction.  
  
"Really Murphy?"  
  
"I'm sorry love, but it's true. They're...magnificent." Murphy exclaimed as he stared at her chest lovingly.  
  
"Well thank you...I guess." Nolee replied slightly blushing having been used to her boyfriend's unconventional displays of affection.  
  
"Sorry I couldn't make it today." Murphy apologized once more.  
  
"It's okay, I understand." Nolee smiled as their lips met.  
  
"Alright, t'ats quite enough of t'at." Connor chimed in disgust at his twin who in return received a middle finger directed at him. "What's ta plan for tonight?"  
  
"Well I was thinking we could all go see The Matrix. It's supposed to be good." Kira suggested with enthusiasm.  
  
"I suppose t'at sounds fun." Connor shrugged.  
  
"Ye, I wouldn't mind I guess." Murphy added. "What do ye say lass?" he asked turning his attention back to Nolee.  
  
"Actually guys, I think I'm gonna skip this one. I'm not feeling up for a movie anymore." she frowned hating that her energy levels could change so dramatically. The further she got the more tired she seemed to be.  
  
"T'ats okay I can walk you home." Murphy offered as the small girl shook her head.  
  
"No Murphy, you should go see the movie." Nolee protested at her boyfriend.  
  
"Are ye sure love?"  
  
"Yeah, don't miss out on the movie because of me. You guys have fun."  
  
"Are you sure sure?" Kira was the one to question this time.  
  
"Yes you guys, I'll be fine okay. I just want to go home and sleep, sorry I'm a borefest."  
  
"It's okay, I just don't know if I feel comfortable letting ye walk by yourself." Murphy reasoned while Nolee noticed his face softening.  
  
"I'll be fine, I promise." she assured once more wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'll see you later."  
  
"Okay, I'm calling ye later and ye better answer." he declared making her laugh.  
  
"I will. Now get going before you guys miss the next showing."  
__  
  
As Kira, Connor, and Murphy went in a separate direction towards the movie theater downtown, Nolee had already made her way to the subway. Part of her was sad to be missing out on yet another event, but the other part knew it was okay to be by herself sometimes. Murphy couldn't always be by her side, after all he had done for her he deserved some fun too.  
  
Sighing with relief as she finally made it to her apartment, she had prepared to draw a hot bath for herself.  
  
'I just need Law and Order...and ice cream.' she thought to herself as her hand twisted the key to unlock her door. When she got inside she sat her purse down where it normally went and walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water first. Making her way to the bedroom her footsteps had seized as the living room light had suddenly switched on before her. The sound of glass shattering on the floor when the cup slipped from her gasp as her blood had run cold staring at the figure smiling in front of her.  
  
 _"Welcome home darlin.'_  
  
  
  
  



	26. Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now I think you've played little this game long enough darlin.' It's time you return home."

"T-Tristan..." Nolee whispered horrified unsure if she was really seeing her ex sitting on her couch.  
  
"Been a long time baby hasn't it?" Tristan smirked as he looked around the apartment. "My, quite the life you've made here yeah? I must say I never thought you'd end up an east coast gal." he added impressed. "You look good though, short hair suits you."  
  
"How did you..."  
  
"Find you? I think you would know better by now I have my sources Nolee." Tristan scolded as the girl remained frozen in the spot she stood. "Although I will admit you had me on my toes for just a little bit, low and behold you were here in little Beantown all along." he added as his brown eyes had pierced into her, a small smile spread across his face relishing her expression.  
  
"You seem a little confused darlin.' I'll help you out a bit. I have a trusted friend of mine see if he could find your whereabouts. Took him a little more than expected, but hey he always come through. Maybe you might know him? I believe he even came into your coffee shop once." Tristan explained as Nolee's eyes had widened processing Tristan's words and trying to piece it all together. A churning sensation spread in her stomach when she realized.  
  
 _Foster._

"Ahh there the little light in your head goes." Tristan added as he lightly laughed at the small girl. "Yup, Foster's been a good friend of mine for a long time now, real sharp mind he has. Ironic isn't that the night you ran to the bus stop, Foster just so happened to be there coming back from a business trip."  
  
Nolee's eyes shifted as her mind tried to desperately recall that night and make sense of it all. Nolee hadn't remembered anyone in particular...until now. Tears began to build in her eyes at the other realization of the other male. He had been the one to pick up the water bottle she'd dropped. How could she have been so stupid?  
  
"Although you never met before, Foster was pretty familiar with you already of course, I believe he picked up a water bottle you dropped." Tristan explained further smirking when he noticed her lip tremble. "You always were a little too naive for you own good babe."  
  
"Anyways Foster hadn't known exactly which of part of Boston you took off to but eventually he caught up to your little hide and seek game, since then he's been following you around for me. I admit I damn near thought he was taking the piss out of me when he told me that he not only found you, but you were also pregnant. I can see now...he was telling the truth." Tristan sneered motioning to her belly as he raised his eyebrow. "You really thought you could hide my fuckin' child from me?"  
  
"Tristan please...what do you want?" Nolee whimpered.  
  
"Now that should be obvious isn't Nolee? I'm here to take back what's mine."  
  
"Please don't hurt my baby. Do whatever you want to me, but don't hurt my baby." Nolee pleaded as tears had now fallen from her cheeks.  
  
"Oh don't worry sweetheart I'm not planning on hurting you...that is if you cooperate of course." Tristan replied standing up. Nolee trembled as he faintly revealed the black gun in his hand making her heartbeat rapidly. "Came prepared in case you try something you know? Seeing as you think you're Carmen Sandiego apparently."  
  
"Now I think you've played little this game long enough darlin.' It's time you return home." he stated causing the small girl to shake her head.  
  
"I don't want to." she whispered as Tristan simply chuckled.  
  
"Why? You like the little life you have here in Boston? Your little run down apartment? Your coffee shop job? That it?" he questioned walking over to her. "Or could it be the Irishman you love oh so much?" Tristan snarled before Nolee had felt a hand collide harshly against her cheek making her cry out and begin to sob.  
  
"You have the fuckin' audacity to not only run off with my child, but you somehow think it's okay for a random guy to hang around? Well sweetheart you couldn't be more wrong, you oughta to know me better by now that I don't share what's mine. Just because you made a new life here and suddenly think you're too good now, make no mistake you've _always_ belonged to me." Tristan declared.  
  
"I won't leave." she whispered trying desperately to find an ounce of courage.  
  
"You might not want to baby, but if you don't...I'd unfortunately have to send Foster after your dear best friend, what is that you call her again? Your _sister_?" Tristan questioned further breaking down the small girl. "I'd hate for you to be responsible for Kira's untimely departure of this Earth. I know you _definitely_ wouldn't want to be responsible for a bullet going into your precious Irishman's head. Because if I can't have you darlin'...well you know how that saying goes." Tristan shrugged smiling.  
  
"Please Tristan, I'm begging you, please don't hurt them. They didn't do anything." Nolee pleaded through her sobs.  
  
"You know I have to give you credit for having the balls to actually pull something like this off, but I'm also amazed you'd be this fucking stupid. After all I've done for you, this is how you fuckin' repay me?"  
  
"I'm sorry." she whispered looking up at him feeling no choice but to play along. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"I'll figure out your punishment later, and you can make it up to me when we get home." Tristan assured as Nolee had stiffened, Tristan was quick to notice her discomfort. "Unless you want Foster to surprise Kira tonight, I believe she lives on 4th street, apartment #3?"  
  
"No please!" she whimpered defeated. "Please no...I'll...I'll go with you." she agreed as her mind frantically try to come up with a plan to get out of this.  
  
"Mm, you still got some sense in you after all." Tristan winked. "Now I want you to go get-" Tristan began to speak before loud knocks had erupted from the door. Nolee froze further as she stared at the door.  
  
"Nolee? Open up love, it's me Murphy." Murphy had spoken from behind the door as Nolee's eyes shifted to Tristan who looked genuinely amused.  
  
"If it isn't the lovely Irishman himself. What do you say baby, shall we all get acquainted?" Tristan smirked as he made a move to walk to the door, Nolee's hand had reached out in protest.  
  
"Please don't." she begged once more.  
  
"You know I thought it'd be easier to just shoot him...but I think this will be more satisfying. I want you to go the door and tell your loverboy that you're ending things."  
  
"Nolee?" Murphy called her name again as Nolee only closed her eyes feeling her chest tighten.  
  
"If you don't want see what exact shade of red his blood is, then I'd suggest you get walking." Tristan warned one last time as Nolee gritted teeth and began to make her way to the door. Quickly wiping her eyes she did her best compose herself before answering the door halfway.  
  
"There you are lass. I was starting ta get worried ready for a second." Murphy smiled in relief when he saw her. Nolee's heart began to hurt while she faked a smile back.  
  
"I'm okay, I promise. Just having having some bad symptoms tonight is all."  
  
"I just wanted ta check on ye but maybe it's better if I stay to look after ye." Murphy replied in concern.  
  
"No, it's okay really Murphy. I...sort of want to be alone tonight to be honest." Nolee answered.  
  
"Oh..." Murphy replied gently as a frown spread across his face. "Are ye sure okay lass?" Murphy questioned and Nolee did her best to hide to wince feeling Tristan gently press the tip of the gun into her back.  
  
"Actually Murphy...I was doing a lot of thinking...and I think it's best...if we don't see each other anymore." she whispered closing her eyes.  
  
"What?" Murphy asked shocked. "What are ye talkin' about Nolee?"  
  
"I don't think it's a good idea for us to be together anymore, I'm so sorry." she whispered once more as the latter part of her sentence had been true while more tears had fallen down her cheeks.  
  
"I don't understand Nolee, what's goin' on?" Murphy replied visibly hurt.  
  
"I'm sorry Murphy, but I think you should just go now." she pleaded hating the way the blues eyes she had come to adore so much had saddened. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be." she added more firmly while he only stood there for a brief moment. She had never hated herself more than in this moment.  
 __  
'I'm sorry Murphy, but this is the only way. I have to keep you safe.'  
  
"Fine..."  he whispered as his face hardened. "I'll leave ye alone." he shrugged before turning on his heels and walking away while her heart shattered in a million pieces. Painfully closing the door she could hear Tristan chuckle behind her.  
  
"Aww isn't that just so sad for your Irishman. At least while he hates your guts, you'll know he's alive right?" he teased.  
  
"Why Tristan...why did you become...so cruel?" Nolee whispered still desperate for an answer at how a person who had meant so much to her could be capable of such evil.  
  
"We're all a little dark Nolee, some of just know how to hide it better."  
  
"You can't want the life you have for your child can you?" she questioned genuinely. For a small moment Nolee swore she had seen Tristan's face soften but it was quickly gone.  
  
"Enough of this bullshit Nolee, it's time to stop playing pretend and get back to reality. Now go on and begin packing your things-" Tristan had started to speak when the sound of her door being kicked open, startling them both. Nolee gasped as Murphy had appeared in the doorway his blue eyes burning with rage in a way she had never seen before.  
  
"Ye mothefucker." he growled lunging at Tristan as the two began to engage in a fight. Nolee put a hand to her mouth as she struggled to figure out what to do.  
  
"I'll fuckin' kill ye!" Murphy seethed as his fist collided with Tristan's face. Tristan angrily huffed back and punched Murphy back. Nolee was unable to make herself move as she could only stare on in horror at the men.  
  
 _'Get help. Now!_ ' her mind shouted as she snapped out of her trance and made her way to the kitchen to call the police. But just as she was half way she heard the gun being knocked out of Tristan's hands and sliding near her feet. Her heart pounding uncontrollably looking at it, gasping when Tristan had managed to get the upper hand and delivered a harsh punch knocking Murphy unconscious.  
  
"Murphy..." she gasped to herself as Tristan panted heavily wiping the blood that had now leaked from his nose as he stood up. Involuntarily Nolee quicked reached down to grab the gun and pointed it at her former boyfriend.  
  
"Some hero your Irishman is." Tristan smiled sardonically.  
  
"Don't move." she warned him with gritted teeth. Tristan seemed a bit shocked at her action but quickly recovered smirking.  
  
"Suddenly you're little miss brave are you?" Tristan questioned taking a step closer.  
  
"If you take one more step towards me and my baby I **will** fucking kill you." Nolee warned again gripping the gun tighter. Adrenaline coursing in her veins at the cold feel of the metal and sudden anger at him harming Murphy.  
  
"Go on then Nolee, shoot me. Nothing will ever change the fact that you're a scared little girl. These people you love so much, they'll leave you just like everyone else did. Your grandma, your dad, your mom...especially **him**. You really think he'll love someone as weak as you and take care of your child?" Tristan snarled pointing at Murphy. "He'll realize soon what a burden you'll be and then what darlin?' Nolee clenched her teeth and kept her face neutral to not let it show his words had affected her.  
  
 "I'm the only one in your life who's ever loved you."  
  
"All you did was hurt me, that's not love." Nolee replied angrily.  
  
"I know I treated you badly over the years and I'm sorry baby. I promise I'll be better. I promise I'll work on myself for the sake of our child. I swear I'll the best father to our child. But we need to work on it together, that's why it's better we go back home where the three of us can be a family." Tristan reasoned gently while her hands shook unsteadily.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere with you ever again. You'll never touch me or my child." Nolee affirmed. Tristan's eyes had flashed red before he went to lunge at her, and as if someone else had been in her place taking over, Nolee's finger had pushed the trigger. The loud bang of the gun reverberated through her apartment as Tristan gasped. Clutching the now bleeding hole in his chest he only stared at her in shock. Nolee stood in place watching him sink to his knees, the life slowly draining out of him before he finally collapsed onto knees then to his side.  
  
"I don't belong to you. I never did." she whispered as his eyes finally glazed over. Immediately the veil had been lifted and Nolee crumbled to floor sobbing when she realized what she had just done. Murphy made a groan of pain from the floor as he slowly woke up regaining consciousness.  
  
"Nolee...?" he whispered turning his head and becoming alert when he saw Tristan's bloody body lying next to him. "Nolee!" he shouted as he shot up from the floor to where Nolee sat still staring at Tristan's body and pulling her up into his arms.  
  
"Baby, are ye okay? Are ye hurt?" Murphy panicked as his hands cupped her cheeks.  
  
"I...I..." she stammered over her words unable to speak as Murphy shushed her.  
  
"It's okay baby, it's okay. It's over now, it's over." he consoled her holding her tight as she cried into his chest.  
  
"I killed him..." she whimpered.  
  
"Shh...it's goin' ta be okay Nolee. I'm right here baby, I'm right here." Murphy assured her as they both stood in the same spot for a period of time. Murphy had eventually called the police and it wasn't long before they and paramedics had arrived, investigating what just occurred and taking down Murphy's statement.  
  
"Murphy!" Connor called out  as he walked passed the officers rushing to his brother worriedly having sensed his twin was in danger. "Christ, are ye both okay? Nolee, come here." Connor gasped upon noticing the dead body as he pulled the small girl into his arms. Nolee was still in a state of shock to really acknowledge everything going around her and the paramedics examining her.  
  
"We're okay Connor. Tristan tried ta harm her but she defended herself." Murphy explained.  
  
"Who's Tristan?" Connor questioned completely lost.  
  
"Nolee's ex...her abusive ex. Nolee was on the run from him." Murphy revealed as the spiky haired male's light eyes flickered.  
  
"Jesus Christ, I had no idea it was t'is bad. I'm so sorry Nolee." Connor lamented hugging the both of them tightly.  
  
"We need to clear out the apartment so we can move the body. We'll need Miss Wade to head down to the station for further questioning." the officer informed making the brothers look at each other.  
  
"What for, is she in trouble? She's still in shock for fuck's sake." Murphy replied defensively.  
  
"It's just standard procedure Mr. MacManus." the officer explained as Nolee had half listened. The shock still taking over her body and as her nerves became overstimulated, an excruciating erupted from her stomach as she cried out clutching her belly. Her eyes widened as her mind began to fear the worst.  
  
"Murphy...the baby..." she whispered starting to feel lightheaded.  
  
 _"Nolee!"_ was all she could hear Murphy yell before everything had went black.  
  



	27. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's time I'm honest about everything with you."

_"Nolee, stay with me baby."  she had heard Murphy say in a panicked tone she could feel his hand gripping hers but she could not get the energy to open her eyes. She felt so exhausted it hurt to move any part of her body. Her stomach contracted making her whimper and began to fear she was in early labor._

"She's in severe shock."

"Baby is showing signs of distress, we need to stop her contractions before they try to bring on early labor."

"We'll have to give her steroids to slow it down."

"Need more oxygen."

"What's wrong, are they goin' to be okay?"

"Mr. MacManus you're unable to go past this point. You'll have to wait here."

"I just want ta know what's goin' on, is ta baby okay?!"

"Mr. MacManus you need to calm down. We can't tell you anything right, please wait here."

'Murphy...' she whispered before drifting off again.  
______  
  
  
"Why ta fuck won't anyone tell me anything?!" Murphy huffed in frustration as Connor sighed once again at his twin while they had been in the waiting room for what seemed like forever. Connor noticed the way his hand had twitched madly slowly losing his mind by the minute. Every time Murphy had tried to ask a nurse or doctor about Nolee they would turn him away further pissing the dark haired Irishman off.  
  
"Murph ye need to calm down-"  
  
"Don't fuckin' tell me ta calm down Connor!"  
  
"Gettin' angry isn't goin' ta help ta fuckin' situation, get a hold of yourself brudder!" Connor shouted back as Murphy sighed pulling at his hair. "They're both gonna be okay Murphy." he whispered comfortingly. "Let's go for a smoke, c'mon." Connor suggested as Murphy begrudgingly walked alongside his twin down the hospital's corridors to the courtyard outside. Murphy practically ripped Connor's hand off when had offered him the small white cancer stick and lit it with his lighter. Both of them stood in silence taking long drags of their cigarettes as they stared at the twinkling lights of the city against the night sky.  
  
"It's my fault Con," Murphy whispered after a while. "I wasn't there ta protect her, I promised I would protect her. I shouldn't have left her alone-"  
  
"Murphy." Connor interjecting putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "This is not ye fault."  
  
"He had a fuckin' gun Connor. If Nolee hadn't found ta courage ta shoot him first..." Murphy trailed off as he shut his off in attempt to not think about what would've happen to her.  
  
"Ye did ye best Murphy, ye knew somethin' was wrong and came back. Fortunately Nolee's a lot stronger than I estimated. Ta fact is,  Nolee's still here and t'at piece of shit is dead t'ats all that matters."  
  
"I wish it had been me. I wish I had been ta one ta shoot t'at motherfucker. All ta pain he caused her, I want him ta fuckin' suffer." Murphy hissed feeling the rage build up again at the thought of Tristan and how broken he had made Nolee feel. Even if she was free from him now, it wouldn't help the trauma she'd went through because of it especially now. Connor watched his twin bewildered never seeing him act this way in their whole twenty seven years of existence. Murphy had a been a hot head sometimes, but the rage in him now was on a whole other level. Connor stood there slightly speechless upon the realization.  
  
"You really love her...don't ye?" he whispered amazed seeing Murphy's expression instantly soften. It was as if they both had shared the realization. Murphy took a long a drag off his cigarette before slowly exhaling it outwards, his eyes lowering to the ground beneath his feet.  
  
"I do."  
______  
  
  
The sound of beeping machines had made Nolee's eyes flutter open as she slowly came to. Her vision of white walls blurry as she slowly sat up from the hospital bed. Looking around for a moment in confusion as to where she was, a soft gasp escaped her lips staring at the machines.  
  
_'What happened? Why I am here?'_  she questioned before panic began to set it in. _'My baby.'_ Clutching her stomach and feeling the solid bump desperate for any sign of life.  
  
"If you're in there I want you to kick the hell out of me right now, give me all you got...please." she whispered pressing into the skin and squeezing her eyes tight. There was a brief moment of silence until a jab had responded to where her fingers were making her exhale a deep breath of relief.  
  
"Thank you." she whispered aloud teary eyed looking down at her stomach. "I'm so sorry sweet one, I'm so sorry." she added as a wave of guilt washed upon her having thought of all the times she doubted whether she wanted to be a mother. Now that she had faced almost losing her child she would never take another moment for granted again.  
  
Her eyes glanced up at the door when she heard footsteps and seen Murphy come into view. Her face frowned noting the exhausted and stressed expression on his face slowly sipping his cup of coffee.  
  
"Murphy..." she called to him in relief making his head shoot up in her direction nearly dropping the coffee.  
  
"Baby," he gasped equally relieved practically sprinting to her bed as he cupped her face. "Christ you scared me love, don't ever do t'at again...please..."  
  
"What happened?" she questioned placing her hand on his forearm.  
  
"Ye fainted and ye went into shock. Ye were havin' trouble breathin.'  
  
"What about the baby? Is the baby okay?" she asked worriedly as he calmed her down again.  
  
"Ta baby is okay Nolee, she's fine. She had a moment of distress but ta doctors managed ta stop ye from goin' into early labor and steady her heartbeat. Ta doctor can it explain to ye better though." he replied gently as relief spread across her face feeling Murphy's hand caress her stomach.  
  
"She's a fighter just like her Ma." Murphy smiled looking back at Nolee. The last part of his sentence had brought Nolee back to reality as she recalled everything that had happened. Her eyes welled up tears at the revelation of Tristan really being dead.  
  
"Murphy I killed him...I'm a murderer." she lamented. "They're going to put in me jail."  
  
"Nah-ah, don't ye even dare Nolee. Look at me." he demanded as her eyes lifted up to meet his. "Ye did what ye had to do, it was self defense. If ye hadn't shot him, he would've hurt ye and t'at precious little life inside of ye. As scared as ye were, ye defended ta two of you. And baby, I'm so fuckin' proud of ye." Murphy declared as she stared into eyes.  
  
"Ye are free my love, ye are finally free." Murphy confirmed as Nolee had crumbled all over again. Overwhelmed at the trauma she had carried for so long had finally ended. The monster in her nightmares and reality was gone forever. She had always wondered what complete freedom felt like and now that it was here, it frightened her more than she ever imagined. Because now Nolee had learned that even freedom came with a price.  
  
The tears spilled freely as Murphy held her knowing years of emotional and physical torment was finally releasing and Nolee was trying to come to terms with it. Murphy had only held her and rocked her slowly, remaining silent for he knew this was something she inevitably needed to do. He gently lowered his lips to her ear and began to sing quietly.  
  
" _Rest tired eyes a while_  
Sweet is thy baby's smile  
Angels are guarding and they watch o'er thee

Sleep, sleep, grah mo chree  
Here on you mamma's knee  
Angels are guarding  
And they watch o'er thee

The birdeens sing a fluting song  
They sing to thee the whole day long  
Wee fairies dance o'er hill and dale

Dream, Dream grah mo chree  
Here on your mamma's knee  
Angels are guarding and they watch o'er thee  
As you sleep may angels watch over  
And may they guard o'er thee.

The primrose in the sheltered nook  
The crystal stream in the babbling brook  
All these things God's hands have made  
For very love of thee

Twilight and shadows fall  
Peace to His children all  
Angels are guarding and they watch o'er thee  
As you sleep may angels watch over  
And may they guard o'er thee."  
  
Nolee closed her eyes and concentrated on Murphy's voice allowing it to relax her. Her cries had slowly reduced to hiccuped breaths while listening to his heartbeat.  
  
"I love you Nolee." she heard him whisper as she lifted her head up to look at him briefly her voice unable to find the words to respond back.  
  
"I..." she began as footsteps quickly entered the room.  
  
"Nolee!" Kira cried out as she appeared in the doorway running to her best friend.  
  
"Kira," Nolee smiled relieved to see her best friend reaching out to hug her.  
  
"Oh Nolee, I'm so glad you're okay." Kira whimpered as tears began to seep out her emerald eyes. "Why didn't you tell me...?" she whispered painfully as Nolee guessed Connor must've informed her about everything that had happened.  
  
"I'm sorry..." Nolee whispered in guilt. "I just didn't want you to look at me differently, you're the one of the few people who actually love me for me, I didn't want to ruin that you mean so much to me Kira. And knowing what Tristan could be capable of, I didn't want anything to happen to you somehow. If you ended up hurt because of, I would never forgive myself." Nolee lamented as the other girl scoffed.  
  
"I would never look at you differently because of something like that, don't you ever think that. I'm always here for you sister." Kira consoled through her tears as the girls shared a long embrace, Murphy sat back in silence allowing the girls to have their moment.  
  
"Miss Wade." a voice had interrupted as the girls pulled apart to look at the tall middle aged man standing in the room. "Glad to see you're awake, I'm Dr. Hawthorne. I'm the one who evaluated you last night."  
  
"Is everything okay?" Nolee questioned fearfully.  
  
"You obviously endured something traumatic last night Miss Wade, you went into shock and starting having low oxygen levels. Because of that your body was sending distress signals which in turn made the baby feel stress and for a while we were concerned at the baby's heartbeat dipping. We had to inject you with steroids to ensure your contractions wouldn't bring on labor. Even though your baby should be born now she'd have a high chance of survival, her lungs are not matured yet, which would cause problems later on. However Miss Wade, if you intend to carry your baby to full term it is imperative you rest as much as possible. Any further stress can still trigger premature labor. You will need to take it extremely easy, no exceptions." Dr. Hawthorne ordered firmly as the small girl only nodded.  
  
"I understand."  
  
"I trust your company here will make sure you stay grounded."  
  
"We will doctor." Murphy assured.  
  
"Good. Now I'll allow you to visit for a while longer but afterwards you'll need to rest. We'll most likely have to monitor you some more before we can determine if you're well enough to go home. In the meantime please push the call button if you need assistance."  
  
"Thank you." Nolee replied politely as Dr. Hawthorne gave a small smile before and a nod before exiting the room. Nolee turned her attention back to her best friend and sighed.  
  
"It's time I'm honest about everything with you." she acknowledged while Kira listened intently as the smaller girl began to explain the events of her past. How she met Tristan, how the abuse began, and how she fled to Boston.Ultimately leading up to Tristan and Foster managing to track her down. Kira bit her lip as she trembled listening to her story but never once broke contact. As hard as it was to confess to her best friend what happened, in the end Nolee felt relieved to no longer harbor such a painful secret.  
  
"It all makes sense now...I'm sorry I always gave you shit for being guarded all the time, when you had every right to be." Kira apologized ashamed while the other girl only touched her cheek.  
  
"It's okay Kira, it's okay."  
  
Nolee had visited with Kira, Murphy, and Connor for a while longer. Feeling emotional at having three amazing people with her she questioned how she deserved such luck after everything transpiring, especially Murphy. Her road to recovery would be a lot harder now, but at least this time her past had loosened its grip on her.  
  
"I'm sorry to interrupt here, but I believe I need to speak with Miss Wade." a distinct voice had stated making all three heads turn to the slender man dressed in a suit.  
  
"Hello Miss Wade, I'm Special Agent Paul Smecker."


	28. Fresh Slate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "T-thank you...for believing me."

Nolee's eyes flickered with nervousness watching the slender man before her. There was a certain peculiar charisma that the man in a hickory colored suit donned. His light cool brown hair had straight and layered just reaching the end of his neck. His icy blue eyes held a curious look towards her and assuming the way his skin looked slightly weathered Nolee assumed to be in his at least late 40's.  
  
"If your respective party doesn't mind, I usually like to conduct my interviews alone. This shouldn't take too long." Agent Smecker informed Kira and Murphy who seemed uneasy at the idea but Kira was the first to comply.  
  
"I'm gonna go see Connor. I'll be back later." Kira assured Nolee as she gave a small nod watching the tall brunette walk out.  
  
"I'll just be outside ta room okay? Call out ta me if ye need me." Murphy whispered firmly.  
  
"I'm scared." she whispered back as he lifted her hand to kiss the top of it.  
  
"Just tell the truth love, it's all ye can do." Murphy assured as he slowly stood up from where he sat on her bed. Nolee anxiously watch Agent Smecker give a thankful nod to Murphy as he exited the room before shifting his attention back to Nolee.  
  
"Am I going to jail?" she whispered afraid causing Agent Smecker to lift an eyebrow.  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"Because of what happened..."  
  
"Well that's why I'm here to get your side of the story Miss Wade, I just want to make sure we have all the correct facts here. I know there was some pretty intense events that took place at your apartment last night. Can you explain to me your relationship to Mr. Lockwood?"  
  
"He-he was my ex boyfriend." she answered softly.  
  
"How long were you together?"  
  
"It was around 6 years."  
  
"How would you describe your relationship with Mr. Lockwood?" Agent Smecker questioned as the small looked down and fumbled with her hands.  
  
"I know this may be difficult Miss Wade, but it's procedure to get the necessary details to distinguish self defense from homicide."  
  
"I didn't kill him on purpose." Nolee replied astounded as he lifted his hand up calmly.  
  
"I'm not trying to imply you did Miss Wade. Like I stated previously, I just need to get the necessary details. So again, could you describe your relationship with Mr. Lockwood?"  
  
"Tristan and I met in high school, he had transferred from Nebraska. When we met things were pretty good, it felt any high school romance. Tristan was...kind. But then he fell into the wrong crowd of people, very bad people. They managed to convince him to join their lifestyle and the more he hung around them...he became like them. Eventually he turned abusive."  
  
"What kind of abuse?"  
  
"He abused me all the ways you could abuse someone. Physically, emotionally, and mentally."  
  
"Did you ever let anyone know about the abuse? Tell the police?"  
  
"No...I never did. I was too scared..."  
  
"And how long did the abuse last Miss Wade?"  
  
"It lasted until I decided to run away from him."  
  
"Where did you go to?"  
  
"I fled from Phoenix to Boston. I've been living here to escape him."  
  
"So Mr. Lockwood eventually caught on to you to leaving and tried to track you down."  
  
"Yes. He had a friend track me down and stalk me basically, his name is Foster. When he found me out he alerted Tristan and when I had been out my apartment he managed to break in. When I returned home he was waiting there with a gun and threatened to harm me and people I cared about if  I didn't return back to Phoenix with him."  
  
"At what point did Mr. MacManus show up?"  
  
"He had come to check on me, I was supposed to go to the movies with him but decided to stay home because my pregnancy had been messing with me. Tristan had held a gun to my back and made me turn him away, he threatened to shoot Murphy if I hadn't. Murphy had pretended to leave my apartment, but kicked open my door shortly afterwards. It was then Tristan and Murphy ensued into a brawl. When I attempted to call the police, the gun Tristan had been holding wound up at my feet. When Tristan managed to knock Murphy unconscious I grabbed the gun from the floor." Nolee explained but stopping to inhale a deep breath unable to continue.  
  
"What happened next Miss Wade?"  
  
"I warned Tristan if he made a move towards me or my child I'd shoot him. When he knew I wasn't going to comply with him anymore, he tried to lunge at me. That's when I pulled the trigger." Nolee admitted running a hand through her hair still unable to say it out out loud without wanting to break down but her tears betrayed her yet again. "I didn't want to kill him...I just wanted to protect my child."  
  
"I understand Miss Wade." Agent Smecker replied gently. "From what I gather then, what you described clearly meets the criteria for self defense. You don't have to worry about being charged with anything." he assured her as she let out a breath of relief.  
  
"But coincidentally your story ties into some recent crimes being committed in Boston. If I'm assuming correctly the Foster in your story is most likely Foster Evans. We've been trying to catch him for a while now, he's a well known drug dealer and recently suspected of holding a man at gunpoint. The victim says Mr. Evans had confused him for another Irishman. If my intuition serves me right like it usually does, I will say Mr. Evans most likely thought the man was Mr. MacManus." Agent Smecker put together making Nolee's stomach twist.  
  
"What about Foster? What if he tries to come after me next?" she questioned fearfully.  
  
"We can put in a protection order for you from Mr. Evans."  
  
"How can you guarantee that'll be enough?"  
  
"I can assure you we're working hard to take Mr. Evans into custody. I have good reason to believe with his latest mishaps lately it won't belong before he slips up. When we catch him, I will let you know Miss Wade, you have my word."  
  
"Okay..." was all Nolee could muster in reply. At first glance Agent Smecker seemed to be intimidating with his icy stare, but as he continued to speak Nolee was strangely drawn to his unique body language.  
  
"I believe that is all I need to know, I won't pester you further I'm aware you need to be resting right now. Thankfully after what took place you're still here with us and safe, that's the most important thing. However I will need to inform you it may take some time until you'll be able to return to your apartment, you won't be able to enter until the crime scene has been officially cleaned up. Will you have a place to stay?"  
  
"Yes, I will." Nolee assured as Agent Smecker gave a curt nod.  
  
"Between you and me Miss Wade, it sounds like Mr. Lockwood is better off six feet below." he added giving the small girl a smile in sympathy. "For the record I already knew you were innocent before I came here."  
  
"T-thank you...for believing me." Nolee whispered gratefully.  
  
"Of course, I think after all you've gone through it's time you have some people on your side now. When I head back to the station I'll make sure we get the case closed as soon as possible." Agent Smecker noted as he adjusted his coat. "I hope you are able to gain some peace of mind now Miss Wade. I wish you the best of luck with your delivery, sounds like you and your child deserve a fresh slate." he added giving Nolee one last smile before swiftly exiting the room with the same charisma he had entering. Nolee sank into the hospital bed and wrapped her arms around herself.  
  
 _'Sounds like you and your child deserve a fresh slate.'_ Agent Smecker's words repeated in her mind. There was an adjustment that needed to be made clearly.  She knew now it was time to pick up all the broken fragments of her life and learn how to piece them back together then.  
  
The question was though, where the hell did she even start?  
___  
  
It seemed like an eternity that Nolee had to sit in that awful hospital bed. The constant evaluation was diminishing any sanity she had left. But everytime she would find herself frustrated, it was a wake up call that things could have gone so much worse, therefore she needed to be grateful her and her child were unharmed.  
  
Murphy and Connor did their best to keep the small girl entertained, especially when Kira had returned home. Both of them even going so far as to dress up like doctors and parody medical shows on TV. It gave her some hope that even in the midst of her misfortune she could still be able to laugh. Maybe that was the first step in the right direction of recovering.  
  
"Alright, drop ye trousers and spread em' brudder." Connor grinned slapping a pair of gloves on. "Time for ye prostate exam."  
  
"Get ye fuckin' hands off me Connor!" Murphy yelled in annoyance as the brothers began to continue their saga of brotherly bantering. A small smile spread across the girl's face watching the twins, this was probably the only time Nolee had been actually grateful to hear their banter.  
  
The universe finally deciding to have some mercy, Nolee sighed in relief when she was given the okay to go home. Of course the doctor had given her a long lecture about remembering to stay stress free beforehand, but at least she could finally get out of the god awful hospital gown. Connor had been kind enough to get her a change of clothes from her apartment, despite her not being able to go back just yet. The thought of returning to her apartment had put her on edge just thinking about it. When she was given her discharge papers and officially free to go, her hands trembled as she stood in front of the hospital doors staring at the only barrier between her and the new life that awaited her.  
  
"When ye walk out of here, everythin' will be different. It will be just like Charlotte returning home ta Boston. Ye are braver than you have ever been Nolee Wade." Murphy whispered encouragingly as she shifted her focus to the brothers who stood on each side of her. Inhaling a deep breath and taking Murphy's hand in hers she took the first steps through the sliding doors. Walking out the hospital and into the Boston gloomy skies, she watched the thick raindrops crash against the ground.  
  
The brothers had began to walk ahead several steps when they realized Nolee hadn't moved any further. Allowing the rain to fall on her and graze her face Nolee closed her eyes and blocked her mind out. It was as if the skies had been giving their own sign of encouragement and washing away the last of the tainted pieces.  
  
"Lass, are ye okay?" Connor questioned concerned.  
  
"Ye gettin' all wet love." Murphy added with his own concern.  
  
"Just let me stay here for a second. I just want to feel the rain." she whispered in a soft plea with her eyes still closed. The twins looked at each other briefly remaining silent as they obeyed the girl's request. Nolee felt as is she could stay there forever and she would have had it not been for Murphy retaking a hold of her hand after a while.  
  
"Come on lass, if ye get any more wet ye gonna catch a cold." he told her worriedly as the three began to walk away from the hospital. It was strange how certain events could culminate and suddenly make you view the world differently. Your senses start to notice things you hadn't before and as strange as it is, it's also enlightening.  
  
The rain had eventually subside as they made their way back to the brothers' apartment this time and Nolee welcomed the unusually barren apartment.  
  
"I'm gonna go visit Roc, been a while since I've see him. I'll update him on everything." Connor told his twin knowingly. "I'll see ye later lass." he added giving the small girl a hug before exiting the apartment.  
  
"What do ye want to do now love? We can order some takeout if ye like?" Murphy asked gently as he removed his coat and hung up his rosary on the wall.  
  
"Will...will you please just hold me for a while?" she requested quietly wanting nothing more than to feel his arms wrap around her, seeing as there hadn't been much time just the two of them at the hospital. Murphy's face had softened as he quickly nodded his head.  
  
"Of course I will." he answered softly making his way over where she stood by his bed. As both of them climbed into the messy and undone bed Nolee curled up into a ball with Murphy cradling her. None of them spoke a word and they didn't have to.  
  
As her eyes were glued to the wall her mind seemed to play a movie of her life. Six years ago she wouldn't have ever guessed that her life would lead her to this moment. Coming to terms with the fact that Tristan was now forever gone by her own hands, and inevitably her life had changed once again. But this time Nolee had wanted to shed her old identity. The hospital nurses had deemed her a 'survivor' and even though it may been true, that was no longer the label she wanted. She did not want to be the survivor of someone's abuse. She longed to be the person she was before Tristan ever came in her life. She simply longed to be just...Nolee Wade.  
  
"Murphy?" she whispered quietly once more listening to his steady heartbeat.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Will you sing me the song you sang me in the hospital again?"  
  
"As ye wish love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to hospitals and law enforcement. I tried to make this as realistic as possible so sorry if it's not. I'm still amazed I've written this much for this story.


	29. Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I just want...I need you to be okay."

_'Trauma never goes away completely, it changes perhaps, softens some with time, but never completely goes away.'_  
Waking up to the inevitable new life Nolee was now forced to live, the first moments had left her numb. She had tread lightly into the unknown path she was now on, trying to figure out her next move. She had felt fragile and sensitive in her attempt to live life after trauma occurs. The unnerving feeling of what would come next now that everything you've ever known was forever gone.  
  
The years Nolee had spent with Tristan may have been tainted, but it still had been a major part of her life, a routine. Now that major part of her life was no longer existent and Nolee was lost more than ever before. Most people might have had an optimistic outlook on her freedom, after all there was nothing holding her back anymore. But those people didn't know that even when a trauma ends, it never really ends. There's still a battle of the mind wanting to hold on to memories the heart desperately wants to forget, there is no compromise.  
  
The cruel irony of her tainted dreams and the nightmares that plagued her mercilessly before had only worsened. Her mind replaying Tristan's death over and over and the sound of the trigger being pulled echoed in her head. But it was also in her dreams that instead of Tristan being the one to die, it was always Murphy.  
  
A scream would escape her mouth as she sat up gasping for breath and covered in sweat. The internal pain of her nightmares returning left her temporarily helpless. Even though doctors had warned her the possibility of this happening, it did little to ease the suffering.  
  
"Nolee baby, it was just a dream." Murphy would whisper as he sat up with her and wrapped his arms around her just like he did the first night. Again, her hand would reach out to touch his cheek and make sure she was really feeling him. The tears inevitably falling when she felt his warm skin against her palm, signifying the dream hadn't been real.  
  
"It was just a dream my love, I'm still here. Ye ain't gettin' rid of me just yet." Murphy would add kissing her hair. It was then she'd wrap herself around him with her fingers clutching his shirt. A feeling of fright had swept through her at the realization of her being attached to him. The frightening feeling that if something harmful happened to him, she absolutely couldn't bare it.  
  
It was fair to assume to next few days after leaving the hospital had been trying. Her mind had only wanted to stay in Murphy's bed and nothing else. The desire to face the world had been low but the more she laid in the bed, the more dreams would haunt her. Eventually drained of her mental torture Nolee knew the only the way to keep afloat was to get back to her normal routine. Of course the conversation of her returning to the coffee shop hadn't gone well with Murphy. The fear of her becoming stressed out too much had put him in a state of paranoia after what happened at the hospital.  
  
But being the stubborn girl she'd always been underneath the surface, she managed to win the battle. And within a short period of time Nolee vowed to return to Cosmo's. Mostly out of guilt of Kira having to now cover her shifts, but Nolee also felt guilty for invading Connor's personal space back at his and Murphy's apartment. Nolee had prolonged returning to her own apartment as long as possible even when Agent Smecker had called to let her know the investigation had finally closed. Her thoughts had been shut off in regards to where Tristan's body would now be heading.  
  
She was unsure if she could carry on in her apartment especially after Tristan had managed to taint yet another safe haven for her. But as the desperate plea for normalcy grew rapidly inside her, Nolee had to swallow the hard pill that was life.  
  
"Ye gonna be okay?" Murphy whispered uneasily as they stood outside her apartment door. Her eyes had stared at the door blankly while her body tried to gather the courage to open, despite the yellow caution tape finally being removed.  
  
"I don't know." she answered honestly turning her gaze to him. There was a brief moment of exhaustion in his eyes she could detect instantly making her feel guilt. She knew he was trying his hardest to help her recover from everything. He had been so patient with her like he always was she hadn't taken the time to notice how much it was actually affecting him. She further continued to feel like shit remembering what he told her at the hospital, she surely hadn't forgotten.  
  
_"I love you Nolee."_  
  
The unexpected words from him had thrown her off completely. Guilt further ate at her at still not having been able to say it back to him. Each time she would try and say it back, there was something stopping her. Even though Murphy hadn't brought it up Nolee could see on his face every now and then that he wanted to.  
  
"Ye don't have ta go back here just yet, ye more than fine stayin' at our place." he offered gently sensing her hesitation.  
  
"I have to do this Murphy, I need to feel normal again. Plus I'm sure Connor would like to use his bathroom in peace."  
  
"Connor's been fine stayin' at Roc's anyways, he understands."  
  
"Still, it's not fair to put him out because of me. I eventually have to come back here anyways." Nolee reasoned with a sigh as she turned back to the door. Carefully her fingers reached for the knob and twisted. Slowly opening the door she took a step inside the small apartment and looked around. It strangely felt untouched and most of her things had remained the same. The glass shards had swept up, and as her feet got closer to the living room a nervous feeling brewed in her stomach at the spot Tristan had been in. The blood had been cleaned out and any trace of him seemed to be gone thankfully, except for in her mind.  
  
"Maybe it's best if ye find another place ta live." Murphy had suggested. A part of her had wanted to agree with him that perhaps it was a good idea to seek out a new apartment. But the realistic part of her knew it would be unwise to try and find a place now when the baby would be due very soon. At this point she had no means to spend her savings on anything else, she had no choice but to suck it up.  
  
"When the baby is born I will." she answered softly. "But for now, I'll have to deal with it." she added firmly sticking to her decision. She could feel Murphy's eyes burn a hole into her with disapproval but she simply disregarded it.  
  
Tearing her eyes away from the spot on the floor Nolee walked to the window of her living room and opened it up. The beams of dust had danced in the sunlight that was now exposed, for normally Nolee had always kept the curtains shut. Uneasy at the idea of people looking into her apartment it was instinct to keep everything closed, especially given her past paranoia of Tristan. Pushing the dusty black curtains to the side and allowing the sunshine to beam in fully as well with fresh Boston air, she exhaled a deep breath. The view from her apartment window seemed so different now, but the feeling hadn't scared her away. This was still her safe haven, the little rundown place she had found solace in when she first moved here and it would continue to be just that.  
  
Tristan had manage to many things from her, physical and mental, but this...Nolee refused to let him have.  
______  
  
*Two weeks later*  
  
There was a neutral feeling of calmness as she scraped off the crumbs of the muffin trays. Previously a mundane task Nolee had now took it in stride. Settling into a new routine at Cosmo's had been easier than she anticipated. The customers still may have been assholes occasionally, but Nolee had become grateful for all the distractions. It had helped taken her mind off of things as she still tried to adjust with a life with no sign of Tristan. There were still moments she would catch herself having paranoia of him finding her. It would take some time for her mind to retrain of course, but for now all she could do was take it day by day.  
  
"Have a good day." Nolee smiled at the customer handing their coffee before they had exited the shop.  
  
"Okay, look I know you're trying to be as normal as possible, but you're being like way too nice to customers. It's scaring me." Kira told the smaller girl with wide eyes making Nolee laugh slightly.  
  
"Sorry Kira. Just how I am I guess." Nolee shrugged at her best friend. Kira had been extra tentative since the hospital and Nolee could see she now appeared to walk on eggshells around her. It seemed that everyone had been that way towards her and part of her was agitated by it at this point. The only person who still treated her normally was of course Cosmo, not like he had been informed of everything she had endured lately.  
  
"It's fine." Kira quickly assured not wanting to chance hurting the smaller girl's feelings. Nolee only sighed in frustration as she tilted her head at her best friend.  
  
"K, please stop."  
  
"Stop what?" Kira asked with confused eyes.  
  
"Stop feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around me now."  
  
"I'm sorry." Kira bit her lip anxiously in response. "I just want to make sure you're doing okay. I don't want you stress out."  
  
"You sound like Murphy." Nolee sighed at the familiar paranoia now rubbing off on her best friend.  
  
"It's true though. You're so close to giving birth, I just want...I **need** you to be okay." Kira had whispered. Nolee felt her stomach churn slightly noticing the taller girl's expression. It was obvious how much her scare at the hospital had affected everyone. And it made her guilty to see the people she cared about being worn out from worrying about her.  
  
"I'm fine Kira, I promise." Nolee whispered back placing her hands on the other girls shoulders. What I **need** is my amazing sarcastic best friend insulting me to help me get through my work days again." Nolee replied softly but the plea in her voice had been obvious. She needed her friendship to carry on the way it had been before the recent events occured.  
  
"Your brisk walking around the shop is officially a turbo waddle." Kira replied calmly as both girls stared each other down before Nolee had been the first break down in laughter. Her hands clutched her stomach as she tried to contain herself. It had been a long time it seemed since she laughed this hard. Wiping the faint tears from her eyes from laughing, she smiled at her best friend gratefully.  
  
"Thank you."  
______  
  
  
"Murphy better have ordered my burger I'm starving." Nolee grumbled as she entered the familiar doors to McGinty's. The twins and Rocco had somehow persuaded her to have dinner and drinks (well they got to drink at least) at their second home. Her interest in being out in public was still low and while the twins had been sympathetic to her hermit ways, they still offered her invites to get out the apartment once in a while. Maybe it was for best that she did finally, it had been a while since she had seen Rocco anyways.  
  
"And a strawberry milkshake." she whispered childishly as she began to make her way deeper into the bar but just as she took another step forward, she felt herself trip over her shoelace.  
  
"Damn it. Not again." she groaned at the prospect of having to bend over. It was an extremely daunting task at this point doing anything at this level with her belly, especially at work. She looked around her nervously making sure no one else witnessed what a jackass she felt like trying to reach  around for her shoe laces.  
  
"Hey, anyone seen Murphy lately?" she heard a distinct male voice say as her head automatically lifted up in curiosity.  
  
"Ye, ta lad's been missin' in action."  
  
"Oh t'ats right, he's too busy playin' step-dad." another voice chimed in while Nolee recognized the voices as the common Irishmen bar-goers.  
  
"God I can't believe he's really willin' ta take care of a kid t'ats not even his."  
  
"Such a shame t'at young lad, wastin' all his potential."  
  
"Poor stoke got no idea he's throwin' his whole life away."  
  
Unable to hear anymore of the mens' conversation Nolee lifted herself back up. She bit her lip as she tried to control the knotting in her stomach. She swiftly turned on her heels to exit the bar, quietly wiping the tears that fallen down her cheeks.  
____  
  
  
Nolee was not sure how long she sat on her couch staring at the turned off television. The mens' words had echoed in her mind. Nausea began to build as the more the words played, she began to wonder if the words held merit. With her mind already in a delicate state the words had cut at her, especially when they were already thoughts she had buried deep down. To hear someone else say them out loud broke her.  
  
_"Poor stoke got no idea he's throwin' his whole life away."_  
  
Her lip began to tremble as her thoughts had shifted to Murphy. She replayed that exhausted look he had in his those captivating eyes back at her apartment. The captivating carefree eyes that were slowly being worn down because of her. Murphy had doted on her constantly and each day he seemed to show her how amazing he was. He had been so patient with her as she tried to fix her life. But was she really worth him wearing himself out like this?  
  
_"You really think he'll love someone as weak as you and take care of your child?" Tristan snarled pointing at Murphy on the ground. "He'll realize soon what a burden you'll be and then what darlin?'_  
  
Remembering Tristan's words more tears slipped out as it only seemed like it was confirmation of her and the men's' thoughts. The rose colored glasses were lifted and Nolee realized now the gravity of the situation, just how much Murphy really would be giving up all because of her. The traumas, Tristan, and the baby...they were right. She really was nothing more than a burden. And what would happen when Murphy realized that?  
  
More time had seem to pass as she remained in her spot lost in her thoughts. The eventual sound of her door opening broke her out of her trance. A lump in her throat formed already knowing it was Murphy.  
  
"T'ere ye are lass. Roc, Con, and I were waitin' at ta bar for ye, what happened?" Murphy sighed with relief to find her on the couch. Another wince going through her at seeing him worrying over her yet again.  
  
"What's ta matter love?" Murphy asked concerned noticing her silence. Biting her lip and closing her eyes for a brief second, she inhaled a deep breath before slowly raising her read to meet his eyes, an ache in her heart.  
  
"Murphy...we need to talk."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	30. Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Murphy...I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Did somethin' happen?" Murphy questioned concerned while Nolee fumbled with her fingers.  
  
"P-please just sit down." she replied softly as Murphy raised an eyebrow at her but obeyed and sat down on the other side of the couch.  
  
"Nolee what's goin on' ye startin' ta make me nervous." he questioned as she tried to gather the courage to speak.  
  
"Murphy...I don't think I can do this anymore." she whispered.  
  
"Do what love?"  
  
"Be with you..." her lips trembled with the confession. There had been a flicker of confusion in the Irishman's blue eyes while his eyebrows had furrowed.  
  
"Nolee are ye havin' a flashback right now-" his voice began in confusion causing her to exhale a breath.  
  
"I'm being for real this time Murphy...I can't do this anymore." she painfully whispered once more watching the confusion turn to shock.  
  
"Why?" was all he could muster in response.  
  
"Because I can't keep making you rearrange your life for me. I didn't realize how unfair this was to you...and I don't want to be a burden to you anymore."  
  
"What are ye talkin' about Nolee, ye are not a burden ta me." Murphy questioned squinting his eyes in response.  
  
"The more we've gotten to know each other....the more I've realized how amazing you are Murphy. There's so much you're capable of and I realize now...I'm only going to hold you back." she reasoned shakily.  
  
"Hold me back? Ye not holdin' me back, I'm here because I want ta be, ye know t'at." Murphy replied astonished.  
  
"I _do_ know that and that's why I won't let you be." Nolee whispered as her tears had betrayed her. "I told you before I'm complicated. I have so much to work out...and I'm only dragging you down because of it. I see how tired you are Murphy, I see how exhausting it is to handle me and I'm so sorry. I can't keep doing this to you, I refuse to."  
  
"I seriously can't believe ye really doin' this right now. After everythin' we've gone through, ye really tellin' me this?" Murphy gasped in shock.  
  
"Exactly my point. Everything that's happened, it was exactly what I was terrified of. I never wanted you to have to be involved with Tristan. I didn't...I didn't know I would fall for you this much when I met you. You don't deserve to have to be tied down by me, especially with a baby that isn't even yours-"  
  
"Oh not t'at shit again Nolee, I told ye I don't fuckin' care ye pregnant with someone else's child damn it! What else do I gotta ta prove ta ye I want ta be with you?" Murphy shouted in frustration as she could only sit and look down at her shaking hands avoiding eye contact.  
  
"I'm sorry Murphy...but I made up my mind."  
  
"So t'ats it then? Ye just get ta make ta decision and I get no say, just fuck how I feel?" Murphy questioned while shaking his head. "Christ Nolee, why can't ye see t'at I'm fuckin' in love with ye?" Murphy whispered exasperated. The hypnotizing blue eyes had once again filled up with hurt and knowing she was the one to cause him pain had destroyed her inside.  
  
"I won't let you be..." she firmly replied slowly shaking her head. "I'm sorry." the final response had made Murphy only stare at her devastated and Nolee hated herself for that. Getting up from the couch and adjusting his coat he exhaled a deep breath.  
  
"Just remember ye ta one who chose t'is." Murphy had told her coldly before getting up without another word to her as she watched him walk out her door slamming it behind him. As soon as he had left the little composure she held had faulted, she could only put a hand to her mouth to muffle her sobs before collapsing on the couch.  
  
The only good thing in her life the past couple months was now gone and she had no one to blame but herself. A part of her had desperately wanted to chase after him and change her mind. But the other half had stubbornly made her remain on the couch. Deep down she knew it was better this way. Murphy was better off being able to live his life without her burdens. Her world was too complicated for someone as beautiful as Murphy MacManus. And someone as beautiful as Murphy deserved to be happy...even if that didn't include her.  
  
Nolee had managed to calm herself despite the heavy lump burning in her throat. Slowly peeling herself off the couch she walked to her phone and shakily pushed in the familiar numbers.  
  
"Kira? Can you please come over...I need you."  
  
_________  
  
  
"You did what?!" Kira gasped speechless as she stared at the smaller girl. "Why Nolee?" was all Kira could ask as Nolee had explained her what happened at the bar and how she overhead the men talking about Murphy. How their words had affected her and the more she thought about Murphy, the more she began to realize they were right.  
  
"He deserves better Kira. He deserves someone without baggage and complications like I have. I'll only weigh him down."  
  
"Murphy is crazy over you Nolee, he doesn't care about your baggage."  
  
"Maybe not now, but what's going to happen a couple months now when there's a screaming newborn in the middle of the night`? What if he realizes what a mistake he made and wasted his time with me? I don't want to be responsible for tying him down Kira...he's too good for that. I don't know how I couldn't see this before."  
  
"Nolee I love you, but you have to got _stop_ thinking you're not good enough for anyone, especially Murphy. You can't keep coming up with reasons to push away good things that come into your life because of what happened. You deserve clarity too."  
  
"You don't understand Kira..." Nolee whispered helplessly although she knew her best friend had been right. Why did she have the urge to push away any good thing coming her way? Maybe it had been the notion that any good thing always seemed to be taken away from her. Maybe it was the notion of realizing she had become attached to Murphy, that it was better for her to end things before he did. Because she wasn't sure if she could take it if he had.  
  
"I don't want to push him away, but those guys...they're right. Getting to know Murphy in the short time we have, I realized he has so much potential to give to this world, so much good to spread. I can't let him give up his life for me it wouldn't be right."  
  
"You're not thinking this all the way through Nolee." Kira whispered in admission to her best friend. "Murphy loves you, don't ruin what you have with him and push him away." the taller girl lightly warned as Nolee could only look down at her hands.  
  
"It's for best the Kira, trust me. Murphy is better off without me."  
_____  
  
In the morning when Nolee's alarm had begun to blare she let out a groan slapping it off. Slowly sitting up from her bed she looked around the room and sighed. The eerie silence of her apartment had been noticeable as she got up. The strange sense of deja vu coming to mind as she began her normal routine just as she done months ago, alone.  
  
Her mind did its best to not think about Murphy as she got ready for the day. Ignoring the urge to curl up in a ball and hide in her apartment like usual, Nolee knew she needed to get on with her life just as she had when she came here, on her own. She could wallow all she wanted but there was no getting passed the fact that life would go on even if she didn't want to, including Murphy.  
  
The strange sense of getting used to doing everything on her own again had become foreign but Nolee had no choice but to get reacquainted with it. Back at square one all over again, but this time there was nothing tying her back to Phoenix. All she had to focus on was the fact that the baby would now be due in a matter of weeks and her concern should be only that.  
  
The lump in her throat remained as she fixed her breakfast, ignoring the ache that still throbbed in her heart as she knew Murphy wouldn't be there at her door this morning. As much as the guilt had consumed her she had forced herself to block it out. She couldn't dwell on him any longer, she had made her decision and she would need to live with it. Murphy would be where he needed to be and maybe one day she would be to.  
  
Nolee had just prayed that eventually in time Murphy could forgive her.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh this one was hard to write :/


	31. Dissapointed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "T'ats pretty impossible when we're twins ye fuckin' idiot."

*Murphy's POV from that night*  
  
"One thing ye always seem ta need is some rope. Never know what ye gonna need it for, ye just do. Hmm...perhaps I should get me some." Connor whispered aloud to himself as his light eyes were fixated on the television that played his western movie. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the apartment door slamming open making him startled.  
  
"Ta fuck is ye problem?" he questioned when he saw his twin stomp through. A storm was brewing inside the darker haired male that automatically put his brother on alert.  
  
"I don't want ta fuckin' talk about it." Murphy grimly replied as he only walked to their kitchen table and searched for his wallet. When he found it he slid it into his jean pocket and turned back to his brother.  
  
"Don't bother waitin' up for me." was all he had told him.  
  
"Murph what's wrong-"  
  
"I _said_ don't fuckin' wait up for me." Murphy snapped once more before heading back out the apartment as Connor only furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.  
  
"Ta hell is his fuckin' problem now?" he whispered to himself with a sigh. A strange sensation had flowed through his veins making Connor uneasy. It had been a long time since he felt this way and his eyes could only stare at the apartment door. He had felt this way the night Murphy went to check on Nolee, the only time he had felt this misplaced was when his brother was in trouble. Now that feeling seemed to be even stronger making him nervous. Something was wrong, very wrong.  
  
Murphy slammed himself down on the cold metal bench with a huff. Reaching into his coat pocket for his cigarettes and lighter his fingers hastily lit a single stick up. Taking a long drag of the cigarette he followed it up with the brown paper bag wrapped bottle of liquor. Murphy relished the smoke hitting his lungs, the feeling almost foreign to him for he had cut back on them. Exhaling a satisfied breath his eyes had wandered up to the dark night sky.  
  
His mind was racing and the frustration flowed in his veins largely, he attempted to keep it at bay, but it was getting harder each passing minute. Gritting his teeth as his mind had betrayed him solely thinking about her. The frustration of how she could make him feel this way when no one had ever made him feel it before. The unfamiliar ache in his heart left him stunned as he tried understand the loss he was feeling.  
  
Murphy's breath became shaky as he recalled the only time he felt remotely this hopeless was when their Ma gotten unexpectedly ill. The remembering of the fear Connor and him had felt watching their usually independent and powerful Irish blooded mother slowly getting weaker. At first it had been only minimal things that didn't seem too bad, until suddenly it did. The doctors had been stumped as to what was attacking their mother and the young brothers had only clung to each other for support. For the first time in their young lives they began to fear they would lose their mother. The most important woman of their lives, how would they survive without her? Murphy's face dropped as he recalled the many times Connor had spent the night consoling him after they had taken care of their mother. For Murphy did not know how to deal with what was happening. Their mother had miraculously recovered thankfully, yet the feeling was so eerily similar in this moment...why?  
  
Murphy took another long drag as the past couple months flashed through his mind. How unexpectedly his life changed, yet it was for a good reason it seemed. How unexpectedly the world seemed brighter to him each day that followed. Now...it felt cloudy again.  
  
Another exhale of frustration had left lips as he desperately tried to figure out what was happening now in this moment. His hand tightly clenched into a fist as he could feel his eyes betraying him with angry tears building up in the corner of his eyes.  
  
"So t'is be ta place ye go when ye in a mood?" Connor's voice has appeared from beside him as Murphy exhaled another deep breath and quickly blinked the tears away.  
  
"Ye followed me here?" Murphy replied begrudgingly keeping his gaze on his cigarette.  
  
"Of course I fuckin' followed ye. Figured I should after ye stormed out ta way ye did. Ta my surprise I found ye here." Connor replied curiously as he observed the scenery of the Rose Kennedy Greenway.  
  
"Well I only spent me whole fuckin' life with ye, my apologies if I need a space of my own ta think once in a while." Murphy retorted as Connor rolled his eyes.  
  
"T'ats pretty impossible when we're twins ye fuckin' idiot. Ye seem ta somehow always forget I can sense everythin' ye do, not like I'm happy about it, but t'ats beside ta point." Connor snapped back as he joined the darker haired male on the bench. "Now ye gonna tell me what's wrong, or am I gonna have ta beat it out of ye?" Connor questioned in annoyance but deep down there was some truth to his claim. Murphy felt his stomach churn as he briefly looked out his peripherals at Connor.  
  
"She broke up with me Con."  
  
"What? Why?" Connor whispered in shock as Murphy only scoffed.  
  
"She says she feels like she's nothin' but a burden ta me. After everythin' t'ats happened she seems ta think she's holdin' me back or some shit like that." Murphy lamented. "I don't understand."  
  
"Maybe Nolee's tryin' ta cope with everythin' and it's making her think things t'at aren't true. Maybe she's dealing with a lot of guilt Murph." Connor suggested lightly as Murphy shook his head.  
  
"She seemed pretty fuckin' sure about her decision." he replied glumly before standing up. "Jesus fuckin' christ t'at girl, she's so goddamn stubborn!" he shouted in further frustration as he chucked the glass bottle of liquor into the trash can. Connor slightly wincing as he could hear the glass shatter inside the metal can.  
  
"Murph ye gotta calm down."  
  
"What happened wasn't her fault, why can't she see t'at? I'm tryin' me best ta help her in every way possible, but how can I do t'at if she still tries to push me away?"  
  
"Nolee's instinct has always been ta protect herself. She's known nothin' but fight or flight, and she usually chooses flight. T'at night with Tristan she finally chose ta fight, she's tryin' ta deal with t'at. She killed ta man, it's not in her nature ta hurt someone, so it's probably messin' with her." Connor reasoned to his twin as he only sat back down the bench running a hand through his dark hair in exhaustion.  
  
"Maybe ye need ta give her some space Murph."  
  
"And if I do and she decides ta stick with her decision, then what?" Murphy questioned worriedly while Connor inhaled a deep breath of his own.  
  
"I don't know brudder." Connor answered with a shrug. "All ye can do is give her some time."  
  
"I don't know why I get this stupid fuckin' feelin' like...like I don't think I can be without her Connor." Murphy had whispered painfully as the other Irishman's eyes had slightly widened at Murphy's admission never hearing the words out his mouth before. Connor sat on the bench for a moment unsure of what to say but ultimately gave a nod of understanding.  
  
"I know Murphy." he had only whispered back while both the brothers had looked on the greenway in mutual silence.  
  
"Come on, I think it's best if we get ye home." Connor suggested after a while of the other irishman  
sulking.  
  
"For once just leave me be for a while alright?" Murphy had protested of course and Connor rolled his eyes as the feeling of deja vu hitting him. So many times Murphy had told him that when they were younger and Murphy had spent the evening sulking down at the creek by their house.  
  
"Not a chance ta way ye emotions are right now. Get ye ass up." Connor demanded also the same way he had many times before, hearing a grunt from his twin in dismay naturally, but ultimately obeying. Murphy stomped out his cigarette before adjusting his coat while Connor gave a small smile of sympathy, wrapping an arm around his twin.  
  
"I think it's time ye gave Ma a call."  
_____  
  
  
The next few days had see to come and go in a blink of an eye. Things had almost seem to go back to normal for Nolee as she continued to do her work at Cosmo's, almost normal had it not been for her burying the heartache inside the best she could. Having not seen or heard from Murphy this long had messed with her greatly as she now had gone back to walking to and from work alone again. There had been no calls or messages either, not that she expected there to be any. Sleeping by herself had been a challenge as the dreams remained, but she felt slightly hopeful that the dreams hadn't been about Murphy anymore at least.  
  
"I can feel you burning a hole into my back like a kid holding a magnifying glass to an ant hill." she told Kira knowingly as she cleaned up the pile of scone crumbs the previous customer had been so kind to leave her, feeling Kira's presence behind her.  
  
"I still think you're making a mistake..." Kira replied lowly as the smaller girl closed her eyes for a moment but continued to concentrate on the crumbs.  
  
"I told you to please drop it Kira."  
  
"I can't drop it!" Kira sighed in sadness. "I don't want see you both apart...it doesn't feel right." Kira admitted. There was a small feeling of agreement on Nolee's part just barely.  
  
"Don't worry...he'll forget about me soon enough."  
  
With that notion in mind Nolee had attempted to concentrate on finally having to attend childbirth classes, having put them off long enough. The idea of her birth coming around so soon had put her on edge but hopefully the classes would help...maybe. At least Kira had offered to go to classes with her and while Nolee agreed, she feared the taller girl would most likely say or do something embarrassing. Either way the countdown was officially beginning and whenever the mysterious life in her stomach decided to reveal herself, only time will tell.  
  
"You better not be overdue." she sighed to her stomach feeling the full effects of third trimester. The silver lining of not having to deal with all the hormones anymore was just in her reach. But for now, she'd have to settle with her nightly ritual of soaking her feet in warm water.  
  
"Maybe I should sign us for those mommy and me classes after all seeing as it'll be just you and...Connor?" Nolee whispered nervously when she spotted the spiky haired Irishman waiting by her door. "What are you doing here...?"  
  
"Why." Connor replied curtly as he stared at her. "How could you do t'at to him? To us?" he questioned softly as the small girl looked down at her feet.  
  
"There's a lot you wouldn't understand Connor..."  
  
"Ye right, t'ere is a lot of things I wouldn't understand. But what I do understand is that these last couple months I watched me brother go from semi okay with his life ta not one damn complaint. I don't think I've ever seen Murphy smile as much as he has either. We were havin' some really good times, and ye just gonna bail on us like t'is?"  
  
"Connor please understand I'm not trying to hurt you both on purpose, I'm really not." Nolee whispered guiltily.  
  
"Look Nolee, I know ye have gone through some bad shit and I'm so sorry for t'at, I am. I know the guilt must be hard ta handle right now, but ye need ta let it go. Don't let it warp ye mind and make ye lose sight of ta good t'ings in ye life right now, especially Murphy. Don't hurt him like t'is." Connor replied gently.  
  
"It's not just that Connor..." Nolee sighed as she closed her eyes. "When I was going to meet you guys at McGinty's I had gotten there before you had. But when I got there I heard the guys at the bar talking...they were talking about Murphy. They said Murphy was an idiot to be with someone who wasn't even having his kid, and that he was only throwing his life away being with me. That Murphy has so much potential and the more I am around Murphy...I see that potential. Murphy could do so many great things for this world and I...all I can offer him is a list of problems. Don't you think your brother deserves better than that? I never wanted him to get caught up in my past...and I was crazy to think it could ever work between us." Nolee admitted as the Irishman stared at her briefly before shaking his head.  
  
"I get where ye comin' from lass...but I'm really disappointed in ye." Connor whispered sadly before turning on his heel and walking off without another word. Nolee could only watch the back of him until he was no longer in sight. The Irishman's words had cut her deeply and all Nolee could do was hang her head in shame.  
  



	32. Just Ask Alice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sorry, I shouldn't make you laugh now huh? The baby's just gonna shoot out at this point."

"You know...this is way more awkward than I thought it would be." Nolee whispered as she found herself on all fours while Kira straddled her in what was supposed to be a supportive partner labor pose. Labor class had not been what Nolee expected to say the least...especially with Kira present.  
  
"Really? Cause I'm having a fun time." Kira smirked as Nolee rolled her eyes.  
  
"Of course you are."  
  
"Now stop being distracting, you're supposed to be practicing your breathing." Kira scolded. "I'm your focal point remember?"  
  
"You're my pain in the ass too." Nolee retorted with a small smirk.  
  
"I love you too sweetie, you're doing amazing."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Beforehand the class had consisted of informing the expectant mothers of how the birth process starts once the water breaks.  
  
"What if your water breaks at Cosmo's and all the customers are suddenly forced into a game of slip and slide?" Kira gasped making the labor coach and other expectant couples look at them.  
  
"Kira I swear to god." Nolee whispered warningly although trying to contain the small giggle that wanted to escape.  
  
"Sorry, I shouldn't make you laugh now huh? The baby's just gonna shoot out at this point."  
  
"Stop. It."  
  
"Umm as I was saying class, evening primrose oil is also commonly used within the last few weeks of pregnancy. This special oil contains prostaglandins which are known to help ripen the cervix. The softening of the cervix makes for easier dilation and effacement once the labour process begins. Evening primrose oil capsules can be taken orally or inserted vaginally. Many women do both. It can also be used to massage the perineal area if you want to help your partner out." the labor coach smiled as both girls looked each other.  
"Did she just say..."  
  
"I think so..."  
  
"Yeah no...I'm not rubbing oil on your vagina sorry. I'll spray some Pam down there for you and call it a day."  
____  
  
"Well...that was informative." Kira shrugged when they had exited the class.  
  
"It's official I'm asking for the maximum amount of drugs allowed when I give birth." Nolee sighed feeling overwhelmed at all the female anatomy details she just had to absorb, questioning if she could really pull through childbirth at all.  
  
"Now now, using drugs for your own selfish comfort is wrong Miss Wade." Kira teased wagging her index finger. "When do you think she'll come anyways?"  
  
"I have no idea. I'm just hoping it's on my day off." Nolee replied worriedly.  
  
"Really? Cause I'm hoping it's at work, I'd love to see Cosmo's face when you deliver on the coffee shop floor." Kira grinned sardonically.  
  
"You're supposed to be encouraging remember?"  
  
"I am encouraging. I'm encouraging you to scare the shit out of our boss." Kira reasoned as if her suggestion was honestly valid.  
  
"I'm NOT delivering on the coffee shop floor...if I can help it." Nolee replied nervously as her eyes flickered, trying not to bring the scenario into existence.  
  
"Well I guess we'll have to wait and see when little miss decides to arrive. You better stay put until your due date nugget." Kira warned lightly poking Nolee's stomach.  
  
"Can we just go get food now, I'm starving." Nolee pleaded as Kira awkwardly bit her lip.  
  
"Umm...I was actually going to meet Connor in a few." she replied rubbing the side of her neck.  
  
"Oh..." Nolee whispered as she looked at the ground suddenly remembering their previous conversation. Connor's words had still cut at her and she tried her to best not think about the fact that both Irishmen hated her right now. She also tried her hardest to not wonder what Murphy had been doing at this moment.  
  
"Maybe you should just call-"  
  
"I'm not ready." Nolee interjected softly feeling it was best if she gave the brothers more time to cool off.  
  
"Fine." Kira sighed in defeat about the situation once more, not wanting to agitate the pregnant girl now she was so close to giving birth. "Do you need me to walk you home?"  
  
"No, you go ahead and meet up with Connor. I'll see you tomorrow, thanks for coming with me today." Nolee gave a slight smile as the girls exchanged a hug.  
  
"Of course. See you tomorrow." Kira smiled before giving a wave and both girls had went in different directions. Nolee sighed as she had yet again walked back to her apartment alone allowing her thoughts to wander. Stopping at the local deli to quench her fresh fruit craving just before home, her eyes couldn't help but wander to the couple across the street from her. Her face slightly falling at the couple holding hands and both smiling happily, the woman with a bump as well.  
  
Kira had distracted Nolee during the class enough to not focus on the other expecting couples around her and how supportive the partners had been. Now that there was no distraction a pang throbbed in her chest trying not to think about what it would've been like if Murphy had been there with her instead. Quickly turning her head away from the couple and continuing her way home, Nolee slowly ate her fruit. When she reached her apartment door she couldn't find the energy to open it. She only stood there staring at the rusty brown color, Connor's last words repeating in her mind.  
  
She had done a well enough job blocking out her feelings since Murphy walked out the door but her facade was slowly slipping each day that past. The desire to call him had grown stronger and it would be a fucking lie to say she hadn't wished he'd be waiting at her doorstep for her. Tears burned the corners of her eyelids imagining how much he must've hated her right now.  
  
 _'It's for the best remember? Murphy needs to be happy, without you.'_  had been her mantra ever since.  
  
"Nolee, is that you sugar?" a familiar soft voice appeared as the small girl turned her head to the culprit. Her brown eyes widened in surprise at the familiar gray haired woman.  
  
"Alice?" she replied in shock. "You...you've lived here the entire time?" she questioned confused upon discovering Murphy and Connor's beloved waitress Alice being halfway to opening the apartment door across from her, still in her waitress uniform.  
  
"Well I'd surely hope so, if not I've been paying rent to the wrong place all this time." Alice joked.  
  
"I just...how come I've never see you?" Nolee questioned still confused as the elder woman shrugged.  
  
"Well I do practically live at the diner, only come back here to sleep it seems. Most people never see me either, I'm like a mystery here. So don't go spoiling it for the other residents." Alice teased once more making Nolee giggle slightly despite her tear stained face.  
  
"Now what's gotcha all worked up that you're crying in the hallway sugar?" Alice questioned with concern this time.  
  
"It's nothing Alice, I don't want to pester you with my problems." Nolee assured.  
  
"Well I'll tell ya something Nolee, I've been waitressing since I was 14 and you would be surprised how many people have opened up to me about their secrets. I guess there's something comforting about a frumpy old gal like myself, I'm willing to bet there's not much out there I've haven't been heard or been told. This hair ain't gray for no reason, a lot of wisdom made it that way." Alice assured opening her door. "Why don't you come inside for some tea?"  
  
"Umm...okay..." Nolee replied meekly not wanting to offender the elder woman and carefully walked in the apartment. Nolee had instantly felt nostalgia spread through her as the various antique knick knacks radiated a comforting feeling, especially the smell.  
  
"Sit down sugar, it's okay." Alice smiled pointing at the vintage pattern couch. Nolee slowly sat down on it as Alice made her way to the kitchen and prepared some tea. Nolee's eyes couldn't help but wander at the many photographs around the apartment with a young man in particular. She raised her eyebrow in curiosity at his military uniform.  
  
"Here you go sweetie. You like one lump or two?" Alice asked gently referring to the sugar cubes on the tray she had set down.  
  
"Just one please." Nolee smiled politely as Alice dropped a cube into her tea before handing it to her. There was something kind and welcoming about the woman as Nolee studied her a little more carefully.  
  
"So, what's troubling you dear?" was all it took from the elder woman to make Nolee pour her heart out. She explained to Alice her origins and what brought her to Boston followed by the unexpected relationship that became between Murphy and her after their first kiss at McGinty's. How Murphy had changed her whole life in a good way even when she told him the truth about her abuse, up until Tristan had found her.  
  
"Is that why there was so many cops here? That was because of you?" Alice gasped as Nolee nodded her head slowly.  
  
"Oh sweetheart I'm sorry. You been through hell and back it seems." Alice sighed putting a hand to her heart. Nolee continued on with how things were when she left the hospital until the day she walked into the bar hearing the men mention Murphy. How their words had made Nolee reconsider her decision to be with Murphy, fearing they had been right about her. All the drama she unintentionally brought with her and how she didn't want Murphy to have to sacrifice his own happiness to take care of her.  
  
"I'm scared if he continues to spend his time worrying about me all the time, he'll eventually get sick of it. I don't want him to resent me somehow."  
  
"Oh sugar." Alice sighed as she put her cup down. "I'm sorry but I'm afraid I need to set ya straight. You are allowing your trauma to control you. Even though you temporarily were able to let some walls down when Murphy came into the picture you're letting them build back up after more trauma happened. You're pushing away the good things you have left because it's better you do it before they do it to you am I right?" Alice questioned as Nolee look down embarrassed.  
  
"Now sweetheart I'm sorry but you cannot let others' opinions influence your relationship or use that as a cop out. What Murphy and you do is your own damn business. There will always be someone that has something negative to say, but you have to say screw them. Only you two know what's best for you, **no one else**. Now Murphy...let me tell you something Nolee there's not a lot of men out there like him or his brother. It sounds like he really loves you and is willing to put up with whatever you throw at him because he loves you that damn much. You may think you're holding him back, but really you're only holding _yourself_ back sugar. You gotta give up that fear of being a burden, I'm more than sure Murphy knows by now what he got himself into, I don't think he'll end up resenting you."  
  
"You don't think it's selfish of me to make him take on a child that isn't his?"  
  
"Nolee there is no perfect setting for love sometimes, it can come out of the most unexpected situations. But in my experience good love, the kind of love that changes your whole life only comes around once in a while. If you're lucky enough to find that love...hold on to it as tight as you can. Don't say things you'll regret later on...you may not ever get the chance to make it right again." Alice whispered sadly as Nolee watched the elder woman's eyes shift to the photographs on the wall.  
  
"The pictures of the man...is he your husband?" Nolee asked gently.  
  
"Yes Nolee. My husband Joe and I met when we're 18 at the diner. He had been in the military and gotten stationed here in Boston. He'd come in the diner often and every time I saw him, I'd turn into a clumsy mess, I was dropping cups left and right it was something bad every time I was around him. His smile was the most breathtaking smile I had ever seen, and when he came in he would always smile at me. The more he came in the more I was smitten with him until one day I got very lucky that man wanted to take me on a date. Call me crazy but I knew as soon as I first kissed him, I was gonna marry him. He gave the most magical feeling of being around him, I couldn't believe a simple girl like me got to experience something so incredible. We were young and dumb, but very much in love." Alice explained as Nolee listened intently watching the woman smile as she reminisced.  
  
"Joe eventually got deployed to war and my world was broken for a while, but I waited for him. I waited every day praying he'd make it home to me. Ironically that wasn't even the hardest part of our relationship."  
  
"What happened?" Nolee whispered.  
  
"When Joe was lucky enough to return home to me...we decided we wanted to get married and start a family. Joe had said how being deployed made him realize how short time could be, he didn't want to waste anymore of it. So we got married and we did start trying for children but unfortunately that hadn't been easy for us. Every attempt had ended in a miscarriage. For whatever reason God decided to not bless me with children, turns out I had some type of auto-immune issue. So that had caused a lot of strain between Joe and I. I was trying to cope with my anger and guilt, I was mad at the world and mainly myself, for I felt ashamed I couldn't even do what women are supposed to do. Even though Joe had been understanding, I could see the pain in his eyes, that made me feel worse. I let my grief get the best of me and I unfairly took it out on Joe. We started arguing a lot and even though I know I had no right to be angry at him, I couldn't help myself. But one day the argument had gotten so bad and I realized how much Joe had been hurting, not just me. He said some hurtful things so I said more hurtful things back...and I demanded he leave. I just wish I had known that when he left...that would be the very last time I'd ever see him again." Alice whispered as her eyes had closed momentarily while Nolee looked on worriedly.  
  
"When Joe left that afternoon he ended up being in a car accident. Another car had ran a red light and hit him head on...killing him instantly. I can still remember how I felt when that officer had showed up at my doorstep."  
  
"Alice...I'm so sorry..." Nolee whispered once more unable to find the words.  
  
"If I could go back, I wouldn't never said what I said, I'd give anything to be able to tell Joe how much I love him just one more time. The only comfort I have is that he didn't suffer much. Don't let your grief and guilt overtake you like I did, it will rob you of everything if you let it Nolee." Alice explained gently while the smaller girl inhaled a deep breath as she listened to the elder woman's words.  
  
"Everything you have gone through has shaped you into the person you were meant to be. Life has brought you here for a reason my dear. Tell me Nolee, do you love Murphy?" Alice asked as the question had made Nolee freeze. The question had put her on the spot and she began to think about Murphy. The part of her that been in denial was faltering, her chest tightened as she felt tears start up again.  
  
"Yes...I do..." Nolee admitted while Alice had reached out to clasp the small girl's hand.  
  
"Then tell him Nolee, don't waste anymore time. Don't let yourself get consumed with your grief, let your past go and let Murphy help you do it. Don't make the same mistake I did, do it now before it's too late."  
  
"I don't know if I can." Nolee whimpered.  
  
"You have made it this far Nolee, you most definitely can. You are a lot stronger than you realize my dear, no matter what your mind tries to tell you are so very brave. Your daughter is very lucky to have a strong mother like you, and I have no doubt in my mind Murphy will also love that little girl just as much as he loves you. Go be with him Nolee, and be happy." Alice told her firmly while Nolee trembled and softly threw her arms around the woman. A sense of clarity seeing to wash over her body.  
  
"Thank you Alice." she whispered gratefully while she felt the elder woman's hands caress her hair.  
  
"Don't let others keep you from living your life. Always listen to your heart."  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update today cause I wrote a lot in the past week.


	33. Who You Gonna Call?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "At least hold her in until I can come back."

*Valentine's Day*  
  
"Thank god today is finally over and I'm home at last." Nolee sighed entering her apartment. The dreaded day had arrived faster than she wanted, and gone as expected for fellow single people on such an overrated holiday. The constant displays of affection through out the day from couples made her want to vomit, even more than pregnancy had made her. The day had consisted of internal grumbling mostly, secretly shooting daggers at the couples as she made their coffee.  
  
"Who needs over priced chocolate and cards anyways?" she whispered to herself as she shut the door. Didn't people know you can get the chocolate half the price the day afterwards? Nolee threw bag down on the designated chair and against her chagrin her eyes couldn't help but seem drawn to the phone yet again.  
  
The desire to pick it up burned strongly in her as Alice's words had stuck with her, just like it had each day since their conversation. Sadly she had made a run for it searching through the town until she found Murphy and wound up in is arms like a cliche scene from a movie. Nolee kept finding herself drawn to the phone and wanting to dial Murphy's number. Desperately yearning to hear his voice again, she wanted to be able to listen to Alice's advice and tell him so badly how much she missed him.  
  
The remaining resistance a part of her still had was frustrating. Why couldn't she just pick up the phone and call him? Every time she had gotten closer to actually dialing his number, she suddenly lose the nerve and hang up. What if he didn't even want to talk to her?  
  
Nolee put her face in her hands and sighed once more. Why had this been so goddamn difficult for her, to tell him how she really felt? Was it the fear that at this point Murphy might've changed his mind about her? Given that she hadn't heard from him at all the possibility seemed high. Groaning at not being able to call Kira, she remembered their earlier conversation.  
  
_"Are you sure you're gonna be okay by yourself?" a worried Kira asked as ever since February had started she'd been even paranoid about the smaller girl._  
  
_"Yeah I'll be fine." Nolee answered casually._

'I'm just gonna sit here cramming cookie dough ice cream into my mouth.'  
  
_"You know you could tag along right?" Kira assured referring to the dinner plans her and Connor had made for Valentine's Day. Instantly a frown had formed on Nolee's face._  
  
_"And piss Connor off? Yeah I don't think so Kira, I highly doubt he wants to see me right now."_  
  
_"He's coming around..." Kira answered slowly._  
  
_"You sounded real confident there, which leads me to believe he's still mad at me, so no. Plus I don't want to be a third wheel and ruin your guys' romantic plans." Nolee lamented. Even though she was happy the two had seemed to move further with their interest in each other, the last thing she wanted to do was be forced to watch yet another happy couple be together._  
  
_"I'm just making sure okay? Remember I won't see you for a couple days, I'm taking a day off for my mother's birthday."_  
_"Oh that's right, I forgot."_  
  
_"So whatever you do, do not give birth while I'm gone okay? I repeat, DO NOT give birth!"_  
  
_"I'll try my absolute hardest Kira."_  
  
_"At least hold her in until I can come back."_  
  
_"Relax Kira okay? I don't feel any different, I think it's safe." Nolee replied in confidence not noticing any unusual symptoms._  
  
_"Okay fine...but promise me something?" Kira asked lowering her voice._  
  
_"Promise what...?" Nolee inquired hesitantly._  
  
_"Promise me you're gonna call him. Really call him." Kira persisted._  
  
_"Kira..."_  
  
_"Nolee it's been long enough come on."_  
  
_"Fine...okay? Fine."_  
  
Trying to make good on the promise had not been successful obviously. Tearing her eyes away from the phone she took off her coat and slammed it down on the chair frustrated at herself. Deciding to take a shower to distract herself, Nolee welcomed the warm spray washing off today. After changing into comfortable clothes and making dinner for herself, Nolee gravitated towards her usual spot on her couch and turned on the TV. Rolling her eyes at the cheesy romance Hallmark movies.  
  
"Oh for fuck's sake." she whispered continuing to flick through the channels unsuccessfully until she finally happen to catch the almost ending of The Blair Witch Project.  
  
"Now that's better." she sighed in relief allowing herself to focus on the movie. But not even the horror movie had made her feel any better. Her thoughts inevitably still thinking about Murphy. As her mind drifted picturing his face. The dark blue eyes that hypnotized her so many times before, the smirk that made her weak. That stupid fucking intoxicating smell of mint and cigarettes.  
  
As his face became more clear in her mind, Nolee could feel a soft jab from her stomach. Nolee noticed that even the kicks had become less frequent since he left. Nolee sighed as she put a hand on her stomach.  
  
"I know...I miss him too." she whispered to her stomach frowning just as the tv station had switched to the next movie. Nolee lifted her head up at the familiar tune.  
  
__If there's something strange in your neighborhood  
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)  
If there's something weird  
And it don't look good  
Who you gonna call? (ghostbusters)  
A look of surprise had spread across her face at the irony but it soon quickly turned to a soft smile. How many times Murphy had made her watch the goddamn movie. An overwhelming feeling overtook her as she stood up from the couch and walk towards the phone.  
  
_"Then tell him Nolee, don't waste anymore time. Don't let yourself get consumed with your grief, let your past go and let Murphy help you do it. Don't make the same mistake I did, do it now before it's too late."_ Alice's words echoed in her ear as Nolee stared at the phone briefly before shaking her head.  
  
"Fuck it." she whispered and exhaled a deep breath before making her way to the chair to grab her coat. A determined smile etched on her face as she slid her shoes on, putting aside her misgivings. Just as her fingers clasped around the doorknob a strange popping sensation had erupted between her legs. Looking down in confusion Nolee's eyes had wandered down to her feet, her heart beginning to pound upon realizing the large puddle.  
  
"Oh my god." she gasped as she stared at the puddle in shock for a moment before running back to her phone.  
  
"Pick up, come on Kira please pick up." Nolee pleaded into the phone but was only met with constant ringing. "Damn it!" she cried out as she hung up the phone and tried to compose her thoughts but her mind was now all over the place.  
  
Unsure of what to do Nolee quickly sprinted out the door and hurriedly knocked on the door across her.  
  
"Please be home! Please be home!" she begged as continued to knock on the door. A few moments later Nolee heard noises at the other end of the door before revealing a groggy Alice.  
  
"Nolee? How come you're knocking so late, what's the matter?" she questioned as a horrified Nolee trembled.  
  
"Alice...I think my water just broke."


	34. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's okay love, I'm right here. Where I've always been."

_'Fuck Valentine's Day'_ Murphy had thought as he put a tall glass to his lips and took a sip of his beer staring at the familiar green walls of McGinty's.  
  
"Cheer up brudder, ye gonna get wrinkles frownin' all ta time like t'at." Connor told his twin as he had turned his gaze from Rocco to Murphy noticing his scowl.  
  
"Ye t'at is real fuckin' easy for ye ta say innit?" Murphy retorted as he continued to sip his beer while Connor rolled his eyes. It seemed like Murphy had seen the walls of McGinty's the last couple of days, more so than his usual. Still keeping up with their usual regime of mainly just sleeping at their apartment, this time the nights spent at McGinty's was not of joy. Besides attending regular morning mass, Murphy had no other desire to do anything productive besides drink beer and talk to Doc. It had been his only main distraction from thinking about her. Even work was starting to becoming mundane and the flare for socialization was lacking on the Irishman's part.  
  
Murphy had did his best to listen to Connor's advice and give Nolee her space, despite the many many times he had felt inclined to show up at her door. The frustrating urge to make amends and just continue on with how they were. A part of him desperate enough to just wanting to know if she was okay, even if she was content being without him, at least was okay. But if Connor had been correct with his advice to give her space. How much time did she need?  
  
The unanswered question made him swallow his beer more quicker. At least the beer had been a temporary solution to numbing his feelings. It was better than being alone in his thoughts at the apartment, it was then that Murphy began to see how Nolee felt. A churn in his stomach began at the mentioning of her name, it was becoming hard to even say it anymore.  
  
"I'm not tryin' ta rub it in ye face Murph." Connor assured gently referring to the decent mood he had been in. For the first time Valentine's Day hadn't been so bad thanks to spending the evening with Kira beforehand. Murphy hadn't paid all that much attention to his brother's courting to begin with. He had been happy Connor finally started to show some interest in a woman, but ironic it had now felt like a slap in the face. That said woman happened to be the best friend of the girl who currently had his heart in a vice grip.  
  
"Ye, ye." Murphy shrugged as his eyes had absentmindedly watched the television.  
  
"Look Murph...I know I said maybe ye need to give her some space...but perhaps it's best now ye consider lettin' her go." Connor whispered having tried to give the small girl the benefit of the doubt. But the more she remained MIA the more Connor could see Murphy falling apart. Connor couldn't also help but feel hurt at the girl's actions. The beginning had been rocky between them but Nolee managed to impress him and it seemed like things had actually started to turn out for the better. Murphy was genuinely happy and Connor had even become fond of the girl himself. Now, all of them were back at square one like Connor had initially feared deep down.  
  
Connor could see the suggestion hadn't sat well with Murphy as his posture stiffened. As much as he wanted to hope for the best and see things end well for his brother, it was becoming increasingly difficult watching Murphy become detached. Even when he was around him and Rocco he barely felt like his twin was really there. It worried him to wonder how much worse his twin could possibly get the more time that went on.  
  
"Ye...maybe..." was all Murphy had replied with pondering the idea that perhaps Connor had been right. Attempting to distract himself once more Murphy forced himself participate in the conversation Rocco and Connor had been making with Doc. The more time that had passed Murphy began to think about the suggestion more and more. As much as it fucking hurt inside to think about moving on with his life, maybe it _was_ for the best. Maybe he did need to let her go if it was what she truly wanted. The memories they had managed to create in a short time, needed to be put aside.  
  
But just when Murphy began to feel comfortable with the idea, a strange feeling had suddenly overcome, stopping him. His face hardening as the feeling spread throughout his body, a sensing of something happening. A strange feeling indicating he needed to leave, now.  
  
"Murph you okay?" Rocco questioned raising an eyebrow as he studied the Irishman.  
  
"No...no I'm not. I need to go." Murphy replied standing up from the barstool without another word and began to walk away from the bar.  
  
"Murphy-"  
  
"Don't try and stop me Connor." Murphy warned to the other Irishman who only put a hand up in surrender.  
  
"I'm not...I'm comin' with ye." Connor answered knowingly as Murphy knew whatever he had just felt, Connor felt it too. Murphy only nodded at his brother thankfully before the two began to make their way over to Nolee's apartment. Knocking on the door frantically the boys waited for a response.  
  
"Nolee, if you're in t'ere open up, now." Murphy demanded. When there was no response the boys looked at each worriedly.  
  
"I'm about to kick ta damn door down."  
  
"Murphy, relax." Connor replied as his twin continued to knock frantically.  
  
"What in heaven's name is going on out here...Murphy? Connor?" Alice suddenly appeared from across the way having heard the banging come out her front door.  
  
"Alice?" the brothers had replied in surprised unison. "Ye live here?"  
  
"Yes boys, I do." Alice informed them before narrowing her eyes. "Now what's going on? I thought you both would be at the hospital by now." she added in confusion.  
  
"Hospital? Why?" Murphy questioned worriedly.  
  
"Because Nolee's water broke Murphy, she's about to give birth."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Oh shit..."  
__________  
  
  
"Ow!" Nolee cried out as another contraction ran through her, getting stronger each time. Everything seemed to be happening so fast as she watched nurses prepare the machines around her. This was not like the movies she'd seen or tv shows. There was no exciting anticipation or funny jokes radiating in the air, the small girl had been inevitably scared shitless.  
  
"Breathe Miss Wade, it's going to be okay. You're going to meet your baby soon." a nurse had kindly soothed her. Anxiousness ran throughout the small girl's body trying to handle what has happening. After all it was finally the moment she'd been nervously waiting for, yet a sense of sadness had overcome her. Still not being able to get a hold of Kira and not wanting to make Alice have to do more than she already had, Nolee had been forced to prepare herself to giving birth alone. Just like the way she had originally planned to in the very beginning.  
  
"Patient is 5 cm dilated." she had heard another nurse. "This labor is moving fast."  
__  
'This is really it. I'm doing this alone like I thought I would.' Nolee thought herself as she exhaled a deep breath and tried to cope with the pain remembering what the labor classes taught her, but nothing could've actually prepare her for this moment. A sudden eruption of yelling behind the door had made her lift her head up confused.  
  
  
_'Sir you're not permitted to go back there!'_  
_'Oh ye? Fuckin' watch me!'_

she heard the familiar voice reply as her eyes widened. Not a second sooner had the door burst open and a gasp escaped the small girl's mouth.  
  
"Startin' ta show without me aye?" Murphy panted trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Murphy...?" she whispered tearfully. "How did you know I was here?" she questioned shocked as Murphy walked over to the bed.  
  
"I just knew. I told ye before ye ain't gettin' rid of me just yet." Murphy whispered as he interlaced his hand in hers. The nerves and hormones had made the tears leak out her eyes as she smiled in relief seeing him beside her again.  
  
"Alright, now that everyone's here...let's deliver this baby safe and healthy." the male doctor declared awkwardly as Nolee looked up at Murphy.  
  
"Murphy I'm so scared." she whimpered as he only put his forehead to hers and squeezed her hand.  
  
"It's okay love, I'm right here. Where I've always been." he whispered making her break down in sobs.  
  
"I'm sorry." she whimpered once more as Alice's voice had popped into her head.  
  
"I know lass."  
  
 "Murphy...I love you. So much." she confessed as the admission made his eyes widen in surprise but a smile soon spread across his face.  
  
"I love ye too. Now let's do t'is."  
___  
  
Several more hours of very painful contractions, cursing, screaming (some from Murphy), Murphy almost passing out, and three long pushes later; suddenly all the pain had vanished as the sound of a little cry had been heard.  
  
"Congratulations, it's a girl." the doctor smiled while Nolee was unable to contain the tears as she watched the mysterious life in her stomach being lifted into the air. As she was taken away momentarily to be cleaned off, Nolee fell back against the bed panting all around a sweaty mess. A still stunned Murphy stood frozen, horrified at having just witnessed the miracle of childbirth.  
  
"I can't believe t'at just fuckin' happened!" he cried out making some nurses gasp.  
  
"Language Mr. MacManus." one nurse had scolded as Nolee couldn't help but laugh despite her exhaustion. The nurses had soon come back with a pink and blue swaddled bundle.  
  
"Miss Wade...meet your baby girl." the blonde nurse smiled as she placed the bundle in Nolee's arms. Nolee gasped softly as she stared at the small dark haired fair skinned newborn.  
  
"Oh my god..." Nolee whispered emotional while the newborn had looked up at her curiously, little eyes trying to adjust to the bright lights.  
  
"Ye did it lass...look at her, she's beautiful." Murphy whispered equally infatuated. A calming sensation of peace had washed over Nolee as she studied her daughter. The baby had seemed to look a lot like Tristan, but that did not matter to Nolee. All she could see was a beautiful life in her arms, a beautiful gift that had come from a bad situation. Everything in her life had seemed to come full circle in that moment. All the bad things that she had endured, its plaguing had officially ceased. There had been a light at the end of the tunnel after all, there was hope.  
  
"That's your name." Nolee spoke to the newborn smiling. "Ruby for your grandma...and Hope...because that's what you given me. Ruby Hope." she declared proudly.  
  
"Wee little Ruby Hope." Murphy whispered looking at Nolee. "She's perfect." he added making Nolee shift her focus to him.  
  
"Thank you." she replied quietly. "For being here."  
  
"Where else would I be?" Murphy answered equally quiet. They stared at each other briefly before both their yearning had won and Murphy connected his lips to hers. Nolee smiled in relief to finally feel his lips against hers again, savoring the moment and did not dare pull away.  
  
And it was official just a day after Valentine's Day and two weeks before her due date, Ruby Hope had come into the world at 6 pounds 8 ounces, 19 inches long. All 10 fingers and toes Nolee had never known such perfection could exist, much less be the one to create it. After gushing over Ruby for a while longer and feeding her, the newborn had went to sleep quietly in the bassinet next to her mother. Murphy's hand had brushed through her hair as he laid next to her in the hospital bed silently, the exhaustion taking a toll on her.  
  
"Who gave ye ta right ta be so beautiful?" Murphy whispered with a light smirk while she scoffed.  
  
"The birth must've traumatized you enough to temporarily have vision problems Irishman, I'm a gross mess."  
  
"Ye a bad ass t'at just suffered a lot of pain ta birth another life, I think ye are entitled ta be Miss Wade." Murphy reasoned causing her to blush.  
  
"I'm sorry I pushed you away again." Nolee whispered after a while. "But I overheard the guys at the bar talking about you, they said you were crazy to be someone who wasn't even having your kid. That you were throwing your life away by being with me, and I don't know their words just got to me. I felt like they right. Murphy you are the most amazing person I've ever known, you've changed my life completely, and if it wasn't for you...I don't know what might've happened with Tristan when he came back for me." she sighed and wincing at the thought. "I felt guilty that I dragged you into my past. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like you deserved better than me and all my issues."  
  
"Don't ye ever think t'at ye hear me." Murphy replied firmly. "Ye were never a burden ta me Nolee, ye are ta most amazin' thing in me life, don't ever question it."  
  
"I'm sorry I hurt you." she replied crying in guilt again. "I know now that you mean so very much to me, and there's absolutely no one else I want beside me than you Murphy."  
  
"Ta feeling is mutual me love and hey, you're supposed ta be happy right now, we can talk about everythin' later okay? For now I think ye should get some rest, ye deserve it. But I have ta say lass, I don't know if I can look at your womanly parts ta same." Murphy lamented.  
  
"Really Murphy?"  
  
"I'm just kiddin'...sort of." Murphy replied squinting his eyes.  
  
"Oh Murphy," Nolee sighed at her peculiar but beloved Irishman, but didn't hide the smile on her face as he kissed her nose.  
  
"Get some sleep."  
  
"What about Ruby?"  
  
"I got her if she wakes up. Besides, she has a very impatient uncle ta meet." Murphy sighed as Nolee laughed slightly imagining Connor impatient in the waiting room most likely harassing the staff.  
  
"Okay." Nolee obliged unable to deny sleeping sound heavenly right now. She closed her eyes as Murphy's hand had carried on stroking her hair, his warm touch relaxing her to sleep just as it always had.  
__  
  
The sound of Ruby crying had made Nolee's eyes flutter open instinctively. As she slowly raised herself from the bed which wasn't much considering the soreness had now kicked in she had relaxed some hearing Murphy's voice.  
  
"Aye, what's ta matter little one?" Murphy asked softly as he picked Ruby out of her bassinet. "T'at better?" he cooed while adjusting her in his arms and began rocking her gently. "So you be ta one t'at kicked me in ta face." he added with a slight chuckle. "Ye had quite ta night didn't ye? Look at all t'at hair, ye beautiful just like ye Ma." Murphy gushed as his finger stroked her cheek.  
  
"All this world probably seems scary ta ye, but don't worry ye in good hands. Ye mother is ta most amazin' woman I know, she'll take great care of ye alright? She's sacrificed a lot already."  
  
"I have ta tell ye little one,  t'is world is not always kind. There's a lot of bad things out there, but there's also a lot of good things too, and ye got ta remember ta always focus on t'at. A lot of those good things come when ye least expect it, just like ye Ma. I didn't know how much good could come until I met her, and I'll even tell ye a secret: when I first laid me eyes on her, I knew I was in trouble. I knew when she looked at me t'at me life wasn't gonna be ta same, and I was right. Even though she didn't seem ta like me at first. Guess I grew on her aye?" Murphy added with another small chuckle making Nolee quietly laugh to herself.  
  
"Ye Ma thinks ta both of ye would an be imposition on me because we haven't known each other long...but ta truth is ye both make me life better. Other than tryin' ta be a decent human being, I never really felt like I had much purpose in me life...until now. Sometimes things happen t'at are beyond ye control, but ye can't fight it. Ye gotta accept it and let it flourish, for sometimes it might just work out better than ye can ever plan." he spoke softly to Ruby who watched him intently while Nolee listened to him with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Ye know Ruby I might not be your biological Da but t'at doesn't matter. I won't treat ye any differently, I'll love ye as me own and I'll protect ye no matter what. I promise I'll always be here for you and ye Ma. Ta bad news is that you'll unfortunately have a very annoying uncle, so my apologies little one. But I hope it's okay with ye I stick around." Murphy added as his finger had lightly caressed her little hand before Ruby wrapped her hand around his finger, squeezing it. Murphy smiled largely as they continued to stare at one another. Nolee silently cried and smiled at the confirmation that the two of them had their own bond all along.  
  
She didn't know what she had done right along the way to deserve Murphy, but now that she had him back again, there was no way in hell she was going to let him go.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my favorite chapter to write by far :P


	35. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Really a pinky promise?

After a long exhausting yet magical night of welcoming the important member to her little family, the next morning had been spent adjusting to life as a new parent.  
  
"You are even more beautiful than I imagined." Nolee smiled as she fed Ruby while her fingers had gently stroked Ruby's soft hair. Whatever doubt she had before of becoming a mother was non existent. Holding Ruby in her arms felt right and it was then Nolee knew she was meant to be here. She would be the last component in getting over her past, a new chapter had started. "You saved me little one...you saved me." she whispered emotional knowing if it hadn't been for Ruby, she might have never came to Boston. She might've never made it out the prison that was Tristan. She might've never met the peculiar Murphy MacManus.  
  
Nolee's eyes had shifted to Murphy sleeping on the pull out couch. She bit her lip fawning over the Irishman that had refused to leave her side. To think just a couple months ago all she had arrived to Boston with was a dream. Now that dream had turned out far better than she could've ever predicted.  
  
Murphy's eyes had slowly opened feeling the small girl's eyes on him. "Mm...morning love." he whispered tiredly.  
  
"Morning." she smiled at his throaty accent. "You can go back to sleep Murphy, we're fine." she assured not wanting to disrupt his slumber.  
  
"I would love ta, but unfortunately my twin senses are going off like crazy which means me idiot brother will be here in 3...2...1."  
  
"Alright, I waited long enough damn it." Connor complained as he had suddenly appeared into the room.  
  
"Told ye." Murphy noted rolling his eyes as Nolee only had chuckled.  
  
"Morning Connor." Nolee spoke to the impatient spiky haired male while he had appeared by her bedside.  
  
"Morning lass...I'm sorry I told ye I was disappointed in ye." he apologized softly while she lightly shrugged.  
  
"It's okay Connor...I deserved it." Nolee acknowledged.  
  
"I was just frustrated. I only said t'at because ye had gone through so much shit and was still standin.' But yet ye were gonna let someone else's dumb words get to ye."  
  
"I know...I was stupid. I'm sorry." Nolee replied ashamed.  
  
"Ye not stupid Nolee. Just don't go MIA on us again like t'at ye?" Connor requested sincerely while the small girl had nodded.  
  
"I won't Connor, I promise." Nolee assured as she looked down at Ruby. "Do you want to hold her?"  
  
"Oh umm I don't know..." Connor replied fearfully. "I'm not ta best with babies, I'm scared I'll drop her-"  
  
"Just hold ye fuckin' niece Connor." Murphy chimed in while Nolee gently placed Ruby into Connor's arms.  
  
"Connor, meet Ruby." she introduced as the spiky haired Irishman's eyes had widened largely at the newborn afraid to make any other move.  
  
"Well hello t'ere wee little one." Connor spoke nervously as both him and Ruby looked at each other in equal curiosity. "I know what ye thinkin' Ruby...it's a little intimidating havin' an uncle as handsome and amazin' as me innit? But I assure ye I'm just like everyone else." Connor told the newborn in all seriousness while both Nolee and Murphy rolled their eyes. The more Connor held Ruby it seemed her charm had an effect on the other MacManus brother as well, a soft smile spreading across his face as he watched her.  
  
"Well would ye look a t'at, Connor's in love." Murphy smirked as the other brother lifted his head up embarrassed.  
  
"Please." Connor scoffed. "Just cause ta wee little one here is adorable...and sweet..." Connor trailed off becoming distracted again by Ruby. Nolee giggled at the irony of Connor's initial apprehension of becoming an uncle was quickly crumbling. Especially when Ruby's hand had also squeezed Connor's finger making him appear as if he'd almost cry.  
  
"Yup...he's hooked."  
  
"Where's this little bambina we've all been anxious to meet?" a voice chimed in coming into the room  
  
"Rocco!" Nolee cried out happily like she usually did. "I've missed you so much!"  
  
"My Nolee-cannoli, you're finally a mother now. Congratulations sweetie." Rocco smiled as he gave the small girl a bear hug. Nolee had to admit she had also gotten attached to the hairy Italian.  
  
"Thank you Rocco. I'm so happy you're here." Nolee whispered gratefully.  
  
"Well of course I'd be here sweetie, I would like to meet the little miss." Rocco explained as Connor had begrudgingly handed over his niece to him. Unfortunately when Ruby was placed in Rocco's arms she began to cry. Alot.  
  
"Ye ta baby don't like ye Roc, sorry not sorry." Connor retorted before taking Ruby back.  
  
"It's probably just your beard Rocco, she can't really see your face." Nolee offered kindly feeling a bit bad for the Italian who looked sad.  
  
"Oh, well I suppose that's a good point. Sorry little one, I've always been this hairy. It's in my genes." Rocco shrugged at Ruby who had only snuggled into Connor's arms. "So...how does it feel to be a papa Murphy?" Rocco teased directing his gaze towards the dark haired male.  
  
"I have no complaints. I've got two amazin' girls." Murphy smiled wrapping an arm around Nolee who snuggled into his embrace.  
  
"I knew you two would work it out. There's too much between you two to keep you both apart." Rocco noted as Murphy and Nolee had only looked at each other.  
  
"You know Roc, for ta time I have ta admit, ye are right."  
  
"WHERE IS SHE?!" a distinct voice yelled as Nolee sighed deeply.  
  
"Oh no..." she whispered right before the door had slammed open again.  
  
"MY NIECE!" Kira cried dramatically as she walked into the room. "I can't believe I missed her birth! I'm the worst aunt ever!" Kira lamented.  
  
"Relax Kira-"  
  
"I'm so sorry! I had no cell service! I hauled ass here as fast as I could when I got your message." Kira began to practically hyperventilate as Nolee rolled her eyes.  
  
"Kira. Breathe. Okay. Breathe." Nolee replied slowly as she attempted to soothe the taller brunette who inhaled deeply several times. "You good now?"  
  
"Yeah I'm good." Kira assured nodding her head. "I'm just so disappointed I missed it. I thought we had a deal little one!" she added pointing a finger at Ruby.  
  
"It's okay...Murphy was here for me." Nolee reasoned as she looked at him still grateful.  
  
"Nolee did good Kira, no worries." Murphy had added in.  
  
"Here ye go love, but be careful...she's a charmer." Connor warned seriously as Ruby was once again passed around. Kira beamed excitedly as she held the newborn instantly gushing over her.  
  
"Meet your niece Ruby Hope, auntie Kira." Nolee grinned at her best friend as Kira lifted her head up.  
  
"I love it...I love her." Kira whispered unable to stop herself from getting teary eyed as she kissed Ruby's head. It was safe to say Ruby had managed to captivate every single person in the room and it made Nolee very grateful to think there would be several incredible people in her daughter's corner ready to love on her. That was one thing Nolee had hoped to share with her daughter as she got older.  
  
That sometimes the people you called your family was not always blood related.  
___  
  
"I hope it doesn't sound like I'm ungrateful, cause I'm really am, but I am SO glad to not be pregnant anymore." Nolee sighed in relief to no longer be an incubator. Whether she would ever consider giving birth again was also up for debate.  
  
"Ye, it's gonna be a little weird ta not see ye pregnant anymore lass." Murphy teased as they had once again sat on the hospital bed. Ruby had been temporarily taken by the nurses to do hearing tests, and Rocco, Kira, and Connor had gone home to rest for a bit. Promising to return later, Nolee definitely didn't mind having alone time with Murphy.  
  
"Murphy...how did you _really_ know I was giving birth?" she couldn't help but ask in curiosity.  
  
"I told you I just knew." Murphy answered shrugging while she had lifted an eyebrow. "And maaaybe Alice might have told me." he admitted making her laugh.  
  
"Apparently Alice has been neighbor this whole time and I didn't know."  
  
"Life's funny like t'at ain't it?"  
  
"You know I actually have to give her all the credit. Not only did she drive me to the hospital, but more importantly she helped set me straight and figure out my feelings for you. She helped show me  what a dummy I've been."  
  
"Aye, t'en I guess I should send her off on a paid vacation as a thank ye." Murphy teased.  
  
"And for the record before my water broke, I WAS on my way to see you, but Ruby had other plans."  
  
"Nah I'd say Ruby knew what she was doin.' Murphy smiled as he held her hand. "Just promise me lass, whatever happens after this you won't push me away again. Ye gotta let me be t'ere for ye and if something's wrong ye will talk ta me about it. No more thinkin' ye a burden ta me and no more disappearing...I don't think I can bare it."  
  
"I won't Murphy." she whispered shaking her head. "I won't hide anymore. I promise I'll talk to you about everything and let you in. I also promise I won't let other people's opinions affect me." Nolee added.  
  
"Good, and for ta love of god woman, stop being so damn stubborn ye."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll kick all the guys' asses at ta bar for ye." Murphy joked but Nolee could see he was only half joking.  
  
"That's not necessary Murphy...but thank you." Nolee smiled as she squeezed his hand.  
  
"I just want us ta be okay again. Everythin' ye have gone through it's long now gone now. We need ta be on ta same page especially now t'at when we return home this time...we'll be coming home as parents. I want ta set a good example for Ruby."  
  
"So do I Murphy." Nolee agreed feeling herself fall even harder for the Irishman.  
  
"Promise me for a new beginnin?" Murphy asked raising his pinky.  
  
"Really a pinky promise?"  
  
"A pinky promise is as real as it's get lass, ye either take it or leave it." Murphy replied completely serious with just the faintest smirk on his face. Nolee studied him for a brief moment soaking in all his features before ultimately crossing her pinky around his.  
  
"A new beginning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story isn't over quite yet.... :P


	36. Metamorphosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are we t'at predictable?"

Bringing home a newborn was quite the experience for the couple. Nolee still found herself in shock that a tiny new member would now be apart of her everyday life. Adjusting to parenthood was no easy task of course as both Nolee and Murphy had to get used to waking up at odd hours of the night. But as exhausting and confusing it may have been at times, the payoff had been well worth it. Each time Nolee would look down at her newborn eyes it was like falling in love all over again. There was something fascinating and overwhelming watching a piece of your DNA live life out of the womb.  
  
For not having a damn clue about parenting, Nolee had to admit it wasn't as terrifying as she thought it would be. Ruby was thankfully a calm baby majority of the time, as long as she was held and fed of course. Nolee knew also knew she couldn't complain too much when there had been many supportive people to help. The small apartment seemed to be constantly full with Rocco, Kira, and Connor over frequently to visit with Ruby. She was lucky enough to have an extra set of hands at least so she could shower or at least find a little time to make herself a meal before Ruby would need to feed again. It was a bit difficult trying to get stuff done while having a baby on your boob constantly, but that's parenting for you.  
  
Even if she did have to deal with two Irish twin brothers arguing on whose turn it was to change a diaper on a regular basis, it was very entertaining watching them with a newborn all the same. Who would've thought Connor would actually enjoy being an uncle so much. He may like to act tough a lot, but deep inside he was softy for kids and secretly spoiled Ruby. Watching the two of them interact with her child so genuinely had made Nolee's heart swell. Despite getting the brothers to learn how to not swear around a baby had not been easy, she wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
"Christ, t'is blowout is even worse than ta last one!" Murphy cringed holding Ruby up in the air as both brothers began to gag at the rancid smell now wafting through their noises via Ruby.  
  
"How can somethin' so little be so stinky?!" Connor added in equal horror.  
  
"It's ye turn ta change ta baby Con." Murphy told his twin as he made a move to pass Ruby over before Connor held his hands up in protest.  
  
"I think ta fuck not! I already changed a poop diaper!"  
  
"So did I! It's ye turn!"  
  
"Ye her Da, it's ye job asshole!"  
  
"Fine. We'll flip a coin for it."  
  
Okay... _almost_ wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
It was safe to say there an equal balance of craziness and love in her little apartment. As the brothers attempted to solve their dilemma, Nolee smiled to herself as she turned back into the kitchen to finish washing the dishes. It was very weird having time off from work, but it was also nice the small had girl had to admit. At least she managed to pretty much make it through her pregnancy still working at Cosmo's and most importantly, she did thankfully not end up giving birth on the coffee shop floor.  
  
She was very grateful between her and Murphy she was able to spend some time at home to bond with Ruby in the first crucial months whilst on maternity leave. She still felt a little guilty Murphy had temporarily been the one to work extra, but he didn't seem to mind. A small smile spread across her face while maneuvering the sponge across the plate hearing his voice in the other room. Being a step parent seemed to come naturally for him, he knew how to handle Ruby so well. So much so Nolee felt slightly envious that Ruby seemed to be more fond of the Irishman than her, go figure. But truthfully she couldn't blame Ruby could she, I mean it _was_ Murphy after all.  
  
Breathing a sigh of relief to finally have finished the dishes and cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, Nolee noticed the room had gone suspiciously quiet. A small chuckle escaped her lips to find a passed out Connor sprawled out on her couch as per usual, nothing had changed there at all. At least things between her and both the brothers had gone back to normal despite everything.  
  
Nolee carefully draped a blanket over the spiky haired Irishman before seeking out Murphy. She made her way to the bedroom and nearly fainted at the sight before her. Ruby having a moment of fussiness while Murphy rocked her in his arms and began to sing.  
  
" _Rest tired eyes a while_  
 _Sweet is thy baby's smile_  
 _Angels are guarding and they watch o'er thee_  
  
 _Sleep, sleep, grah mo chree_  
 _Here on you mamma's knee_  
 _Angels are guarding_  
 _And they watch o'er thee_  
  
 _The birdeens sing a fluting song_  
 _They sing to thee the whole day long_  
 _Wee fairies dance o'er hill and dale."_ As Murphy continued to sing Ruby's crying had lessened greatly, the words comforting her as her little eyes looked up at him. Just as it had comforted her mother in the hospital.  
  
 _"Dream, Dream grah mo chree_  
 _Here on your mamma's knee a_ _ngels are guarding and they watch o'er thee_  
 _As you sleep may angels watch over_  
 _And may they guard o'er thee."_ Ruby's eyes had slowly fluttered and it wasn't long along before she was asleep. Murphy carefully walked over to the crib and laid Ruby down inside it.  
  
"Sweet dreams me little princess." he whispered before leaning in to kiss her head. Nolee grit teeth and tried not melt into a puddle.  
  
 _'Goddamn it, as if I needed ANOTHER reason to fall in love with his Irish ass.'_  
"Oh, I didn't know ye were standing t'ere love." Murphy said in surprise when he noticed her presence. Pretending as if her ovaries had not exploded just now she smiled faintly.  
  
"I finished cleaning up the kitchen, thank you for laying her down."  
  
"It's ok, someone was mad she had ta stop playing' with uncle Con." Murphy teased as both of them had climbed into bed enjoying a moment of silence.  
  
"I have ta tell ye somethin' love." Murphy told her softly after a while.  
  
"Uh oh." she replied nervously making him laugh.  
  
"It's nothin' bad, at least I don't think so."  
  
"Well, don't keep me in suspense please."  
  
"I was doin' some thinkin' and I think perhaps it's time we move ta bigger place now. I did some research and I found this incredible apartment on ta other side of town. Really great neighborhood for Ruby ta grow up in and even have her own room ye know?"  
  
"Murphy that sounds amazing." Nolee smiled sweetly as she looked at him impressed that he put a lot of thought into the situation on his own accord.  
  
"I know it does and I think we could make it work...but there's one little catch." he replied hesitantly while she lifted an eyebrow studying him briefly,  she may not have known him very long, but she knew him well enough by now to know he would only make that face when it had to do with...  
  
"Yes Murphy, Connor can come with us." Nolee assured.  
  
"Are we t'at predictable?" Murphy joked but she could see the relief had spread across his face.  
  
"Pretty much yes." she replied with a laugh making him lightly jab her in the shoulder.  
  
"T'at wouldn't bother ye though if me brudder moved in with us?" he questioned now serious while she reached out to touch his hand.  
  
"Murphy I knew very well when we got together that you were a packaged deal. I wouldn't expect you to leave Connor hanging either, I'd never say no to him living with us." she assured once more.  
  
"Why are ye so damn incredible?" Murphy sighed in adoration as he leaned in to kiss her lips. A small giggle left her lips while pressing her lips back against his. Murphy had taken the opportunity to deepen the kiss as his body hovered over hers. The more his hands roamed her body, his kisses became more needy. As much as she was enjoying feeling him on top of her greatly, her hand pressed against his chest in objection.  
  
"Whoa there Mr. MacManus, I still have some time to go before I'm fully healed down there remember?" Nolee replied reminding him of what the doctor said about waiting at least 6 weeks before having intercourse. She definitely wasn't willing to chance getting pregnant again so soon either.  
  
"Damn it, I keep forgettin.'  
  
"Gotta wait just a little more okay?" she replied in amusement at his now sad expression. At least him witnessing her birth hadn't traumatized him too much to not wanting to be intimate still.  
  
"Ugh, fine." Murphy sighed before kissing her on the cheek and lying down beside her again while she seized the moment to cuddle in his arms. His hand reaching out to turn off the lamp on the nightstand.  
  
"Murphy?" she whispered into the dark.  
  
"Yes love?"  
  
"Can we go look at that apartment?" she asked excitedly hearing him chuckle.  
  
"Of course we can lass. T'at sound like a good plan ta ye then?" he questioned as she snuggled him tighter.  
  
"I'll go wherever you go."  
________  
  
*St. Patrick's Day*  
  
"I can't believe you're a month old already my Ruby Hope. You sure do make mama happy though." Nolee smiled as she rocked the sleeping newborn while enjoying the Spring weather from the outside. The small girl felt her best as the warmer weather finally came back to Boston. As the warm sun beamed through the window Nolee took comfort in the fact that Spring really did seem to signify rebirth.  
  
"Maybe after I finish these boxes we could bake some goodies for daddy and uncle Connor? That sound good?" she suggested trying to find ways to keep occupied. It was great staying home caring for Ruby but there were small moments boredom had loomed around since Ruby wasn't completely ready for the outside world germs yet. Another smile had appeared on her face admiring the new view from her window. Instead of rundown buildings, there was more gorgeous sightings of the skyline. A part of her had been hesitant to leave her old apartment behind after all it had sheltered her when she needed it most. When the last of her things had been emptied she had stood there for a moment reminiscing all that occured while she was there. A lot of good memories had been made in such a short time, but there were also a lot of bad ones. Murphy had held her hand encouragingly while him and Connor waited for her to exit for the final time. As much as it had been the cocoon for Nolee, she knew it was finally time to thank you but goodbye. She had gone through her metamorphosis and there was no other way to go except forwards, alongside her irishmen.  
  
A bittersweet feeling going through her body as she scanned around the more spacious apartment before setting Ruby down and continuing on with the unpacking. Her hands reaching inside the box and pulling out a picture frame. Her hands gingerly touching the cool glass and smiling once more at the photograph that had been taken of all them on New Years. Nolee set the frame down on the shelf above the fireplace, feeling a sense of content knowing there was plenty of new memories to be made.  
  
Hearing the sound of keys jingle and familiar voices Nolee turned her head towards the door just in time to see Murphy and Connor walk through. Her eyebrow immediately raised to see Murphy smirking like a pompous asshole while Connor was hunched over in pain.  
  
"Hey boys, Connor what happened to you?" Nolee questioned concerned as he only let out a grunt making his twin giggle.  
  
"Let's just say Rosie finally had enough of our shit." Murphy answered rubbing his neck as her eyes went wide.  
  
"She assaulted you?!" Nolee gasped walking over to Connor.  
  
"She punched him in ta nose then kicked him in ta balls, of course Connor had baited her with lesbian jokes."  
  
"That doesn't give her the right to assault you! I hope she got in trouble." Nolee angrily replied feeling herself get defensive over the other brother.  
  
"Oh she got fired alright, right after Murphy knocked her out." Connor huffed still nursing his nutter butters.  
  
"You what?!"  
  
"She had it comin' Nolee! If she hadn't assaulted Connor not once but twice, I wouldn't have ever dared ta put me hands on her I swear. But I mean...can we _really_ classify Rosengurtle as a female?" Murphy reasoned holding his hands out while Nolee had only shook her head exhaling a sigh.  
  
"Well...I suppose she deserved it. You didn't get in trouble for hitting her back though right?" Nolee questioned worriedly.  
  
"Please." Murphy scoffed. "Everyone knew how awful ta bitch was, I only did what they wish they could've done. And not ta brag or anythin' but Con and I are sort of like royalty t'ere" Murphy shrugged unapologetically as she had only rolled her eyes but cracked a small smile.  
  
"Well I'm glad you both didn't get into trouble, but maybe you should chill on the lesbian jokes from now on Connor yeah?"  
  
"What? It's St. Patty's day, it's all in good fun." Connor countered finally managing to stand up normally. "Which reminds me, ta guys are expectin' us ta drop by ta bar later of course."  
  
"I don't know Con, things are little different now." Murphy replied hesitantly turning his gaze to Nolee. "I think I'll stay with Nolee and Ruby."  
  
"Okay...if t'ats what ye prefer." Connor replied softly and Nolee could see the slight disappointment going through him as he walked towards his room.  
  
"Murphy, go with your brother to the bar tonight." she spoke out turning her eyes back to the dark haired male.  
  
"Really?" he questioned in surprise. "Are ye sure?"  
  
"Of course I'm sure, I can tell your brother is sad about you missing a tradition. Besides..." she trailed off wrapping her arms around his neck. "You've been so good to me and Ruby, I think you deserve a little fun tonight."  
  
"Is this a trick? If I go are ye gonna actually get pissed?" he replied fearfully while she giggled.  
  
"What? Of course not Murphy. Besides Ruby and I were going to do some baking, we'll be fine. Go have fun for St. Patty's Day." she assured.  
  
"Alright if ye really sure."  
  
"I am. Just please be careful tonight okay?" she stated firmly making him smile and lean down to kiss her.  
  
"Ye have me word lass, I promise."  
_____  
  
*Later that night at McGinty's*  
  
It had been the typical turn out of fellow Irish and non Irish citizens in Boston stopping in to the beloved bar. Despite there being an unnecessary amount of green decorations no matter which direction you looked at, everybody had been enjoying themselves as per usual. The bar waitresses hard at work supplying drinks to the large number of paying customers.  
  
"Well what do ye know, Murphy actually made it tonight." one of the locals named Jack had smiled  seeing the twins sit down at their designated barstools.  
  
"Aye, how of nice of ye ta join us lad. How's being a Da anyways?" Daniel chimed in.  
  
"It's great, couldn't ask for anythin' better." Murphy replied giving a thanks to Doc who had slid them both a beer.  
  
"T'ats good ta hear Murphy, glad ye could make it out." Jack replied kindly. The men now knowing better not to say anything else after their last encounter with Murphy hadn't been too kind. Murphy smirked to himself a bit to see his lecture and threats of kicking their ass had been very effective. The brothers had begun to enjoy their usual chatter and insults with the locals and Doc before hearing the unmistakable voice.  
  
"Hey fuck ass, get me a beer!" Rocco shouted out with a smirk as everyone cheered to see the Italian joining them officially kicking off their St. Patty's celebration. After a while of continuing on with their shenanigans, Doc had motioned for the men to settle down.  
  
"Listen, boys, I've got some very bad news." Doc told them frowning. "I'm gonna have to close down t-t-the b-bar. The Russians are buying up buildings all over the town, includin' this one, fuck ass! And they're not lettin' me renew my lease." he informed the men as sounds of shock and sadness could be heard.  
  
"Let me talk to my boss, maybe he can do somethin...' Rocco had suggested eliciting protests from Connor and Murphy.  
  
"Listen fellas, I don't want anyone to know. So you keep your traps shut. You know what they say : people in glasses s-sink ships." he reminded the men as a chorus of annoyed grunts had gone through the air at yet another Doc proverb screw up.  
  
"I'm definitely buyin' you that proverb book Doc."  
  
"A penny saved is worth two in the bush, innit?" Connor teased.  
  
"And don't cross the road if you can't get out the kitchen." Murphy smirked making the other men chuckle. Just then the sound of a door slamming shut had caught all their attention. The men's heads had turned to find three large men in suits approaching them. The middle man staring at them nonchalantly.  
  
"I am Ivan Checkov, and you will be closing....now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup...I went there.


	37. Bar Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What ta fuck do we do now?"

*The next morning*  
  
The sound of Ruby's crying had made Nolee's slowly flutter open, signaling the baby was awake. She exhaled a sigh before reaching a hand out.  
  
"Morning babe." she whispered routinely each morning but her eyebrows had furrowed when she realized the spot next to her was empty. Seeing no sign of Murphy made her slightly confused, but perhaps he had passed out on the couch or something. Getting up from the bed and walking over to the crib she softly shushed the fussy newborn.  
  
"It's okay sweetie pie, mama's here." she cooed picking up Ruby before changing her diaper and expertly pulled one side of her shirt down to allow Ruby to feed. Cradling her small body Nolee gingerly walked to the living room in search of the brothers. Her face had frowned discovering they weren't in the living room either. Did they even come home last night? Scanning around the apartment to see most of their items untouched, there seemed to be no sign they had.  
  
"They probably passed out at Rocco's knowing them. I'll give him a call just to make sure." she whispered aloud making her way over the phone and dialing the Italian's number. A frustrated sigh left her lips as she of course only heard ringing from the other end. A part of her had been put on edge at the thought of something happening but she tried to be rational.  
  
_'It was St. Patrick's Day after all, the men probably got hammered. I'm sure they'll come home soon.'_ she reasoned and let Ruby finish eating, wincing when she felt little gums clamp down harshly.  
  
"Relax little booby monster. You get hangry in the morning just like your uncle Connor."  
_____  
  
  
*Earlier that morning*  
  
"Those motherfuckers." Murphy panted attempting to catch his breath after what happened just taken place.  
  
"Damn Russians are out of control." Connor replied equally panting looking back to make sure they had gotten far enough away from the bodies that were left in the alley. Last night had gone unexpected to say the least. The twins had never expected to get themselves in a quarrel with the Russians, but after they threatened to close the bar down and attempt to make everyone leave, most importantly assaulting Rocco; the twins had got caught up in the moment. Before they knew it a brawl had ensued and every man in the bar seemed to be defending the brothers from the Russians. Sure Rocco made a joke about Ivan's mother sucking a lot of dick that her face looked like an egg, and Connor may or may not have tied Ivan down to the bar literally lighting his ass on fire; but did they really have to come back seeking vengeance against the two?  
  
"Fuckin' pussies, it was just a bar fight." Murphy growled in annoyance observing the injuries they seemed to have sustained when Ivan and his posse surprised attacked them both the morning after they had passed out in the apartment above McGinty's. A place Doc let them use on their occasional stupors. Blood had dripped down Connor's forehead where he had been pistol whipped by Ivan, who then handcuffed him to the toilet before attempting to take Murphy hostage, threatening to shoot him. A small shiver ran through his body as he recalled moments ago being forced to sit execution style as Ivan and the other man each held a gun to his head.  
  
Connor managing to free himself in time by lifting the entire toilet out its foundation had carried it out to the balcony as Ivan prepared to pull the trigger. Connor had dropped the toilet from the balcony and watched it land on top of Ivan's head and when Ivan was eliminated, Connor jumped out the window. With the grace of god he managed to land on the other man holding a gun however indirectly caused himself to become unconscious when he landed. Murphy panicked as he got up and checked on his brother making sure he still had a pulse before his hands had grabbed the toilet lid and finished off the man on the floor. They would indeed owe Doc a new toilet some later in the future.  
  
Carrying Connor over his shoulder Murphy fled the scene as quickly as he could, carrying his twin until Connor became conscious again. The boys were still in fight or flight mode trying to process everything. Murphy looked down at the bag in his hand that contained valuables of the Russians. This whole thing had gotten fucked all the way up. His mind immediately felt guilty when Nolee had come into his head. She surely wouldn't be too happy with if she knew about this.  
  
"What ta fuck do we do now?" Murphy questioned lost.  
  
"We have ta go down ta police station and tell them what happened, tell em' it was self defense. But first, maybe we should get ourselves looked at." Connor reasoned wincing as he touched the wound on his forehead. Murphy pondered the idea hesitation at first but ending up agreeing with his twin.  
  
"Okay, let's go."  
_______  
  
  
By the time the afternoon hit Nolee had become increasingly worried. There still had been no call or anything from the brothers. It was not like them to go MIA like this, they were always good about checking in. She already had tried calling Rocco several more times but no answer. The anxiety was slowing building up as she began to question if it was mistake to let Murphy go out last night. He wasn't in any danger...was he?  
  
"Where is your Da?" she whispered to a sleeping Ruby nervously fidgeting her hands. As if the universe heard her a loud knock erupted from the door. Practically running towards it she opened it swiftly to reveal Rocco.  
  
"Rocco! Where the hell is Murphy and Connor?" she demanded to the Italian who nervously shuffled on his feet.  
  
"Umm well you see Nolee..."  
  
"Rocco...what happened last night?" she demanded once more as she pointed a finger at the taller man who's eyes widened upon seeing the small girl become increasingly angry.  
  
"Connor and Murphy are okay, but something...something happened last night. There was an altercation with a couple russians last night at the bar. We sort of ended up in a brawl with them."  
  
"A brawl?!" Nolee screeched as Rocco winced.  
  
"T-they came in threatening to close Doc's bar down last night and before we knew it things just got out of hand. I came here to pick some extra clothes up for the boys because well they..."  
  
"Where are they?" she seethed while Rocco bit his lip.  
  
"They're at the police station..."  
  
"WHAT!"  
_______  
  
  
"Fuckin' hell Con, pick up ta pace, I can't keep draggin' ye fat ass." Murphy huffed as he helped Connor up the stairs of the police station.  
  
"Fuck you Murph!" Connor retorted unable to help his limping caused by the jump as they manage to  
make it to the entrance of the station, luckily the injuries they sustained hadn't been too severe. At least Doc had come by to look after the bag containing the Russian's valuables for them until they got out. Little did they know in the time theyhad spent getting checked out at the emergency room, the Boston PD had quickly got wind of what had taken place in the alleyway and were already investigating the crime scene. Upon entering the doors they could hear the various officers talking about possible scenarios of who caused the crime against the Russians. It appeared as if the police concluded expert criminals had committed the crime instead of two average Irish brothers. Apparently the events of the attack had seem to spark curiosity, the details of the crime seemingly unique to the police.  
  
"These guys are miles away by now. But if you wanna beat your head against the wall, then here's what your lookin' for. They're scared like two bunny rabbits and anything a blue uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em okay? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston. Thanks for coming out." a tall lanky man with dark spiky hair concluded as the station erupted in laughter unaware of the brothers standing by the doorway.  
  
"You'd probably have better luck with a beer." Murphy chimed in as all the heads of the officers had glanced at the door in a mix of shock and curiosity.  
  
"Ye ya would." Connor smirked as they had only watched some of the officers' jaws drop, their eyes focusing on an astonished Agent Smecker staring back at them. After explaining their side of the story of what led up to the events this morning to Agent Smecker with the Russians, he had ultimately concluded the boys had also qualified for self defense. Agent Smecker had found himself infatuated upon getting to know the brothers better and the power of persuasion they seemed to be gifted with when it came to getting out of sticky situations.  
  
"Uh, Agent Smecker? The press is everywhere, they seemed to be going in a frenzy over this whole thing. I don't know what you want to do?" a nervous officer had appeared at the door. Agent Smecker turned his gaze back to Connor and Murphy while giving a light shrug.  
  
"You're not being charged. It's up to you if you want to talk to them." he told the brothers referring to the impatient media waiting outside.  
  
"Absolutely not." Connor protested as Murphy nodded in agreement.  
  
"No pictures either. Is there any way that we could stay here for ta night?" Murphy requested figuring it was best if they didn't leave the station just yet not wanting to attract anymore attention in case more of the Russians would still be seeking them out in retaliation.  
  
"I'm sure that won't be a problem. I will be addressing the media momentarily to let them know there will be no interviews. I have to say though Mr. MacManus I'm surprised to see you be the one responsible for all this considering what occurred with Miss Wade. How is she and the baby doing by the way?" Agent Smecker asked curiously remembering the small girl.  
  
"They're doing very well." Murphy answered softly feeling more guilt at the mention of Nolee.  
  
"Glad to hear it." Agent Smecker smiled lightly as a nervous Murphy twitched in his seat at being reminded of his significant other.  
  
"Uhh t'at reminds me...can I make a call?"  
_____  
  
  
_"I'm gonna kill them both." Nolee huffed as she gathered a change of clothes for both boys to give to Rocco including their rosaries._  
  
_"Don't freak out Nolee okay? From what Connor and Murphy told me they're not being charged with anything." Rocco assured taking the pile of clothes._  
  
_"Oh that makes me feel so much better Rocco. How about they not get into trouble in the first place!" she shouted in frustration._  
  
_"It's going to be okay Nolee-cannoli. They're just choosing to lay low for a while until the media calms down. Murphy told me to tell you he will call you later."_  
  
_"Oh he better." Nolee demanded before exhaling another sigh. "Just go give them their clothes, and thanks for letting me know what's going on Rocco."_  
  
_"If I hear anything else I'll let you know ASAP." Rocco assured as she gave him a nod before watching him exit the apartment._  
  
_"Their irish asses are in so much trouble when they get home."_  
  
Nolee shook her head recalling the previous conversation with Rocco as she fed Ruby unable to believe the brothers had got themselves into this situation. As her annoyance built back up her thoughts were distracted by the phone ringing.  
  
"Hello?!" she yelled into the phone.  
  
"Hello ta sunshine of me life, my sweet flower, ta beautiful mother of me-"  
  
"Cut the shit Murphy!" Nolee interjected annoyed. "What happened last night?!"  
  
"Aye, please don't freak out okay love? Some things got a little crazy last night." Murphy explained softly.  
  
"Yeah, Rocco told me. Apparently you pissed off some Russians!"  
  
"They came in threatenin' ta shut down Doc, we tried ta be civil at first honest. But Roc of course had ta shoot his fuckin' mouth off and insult one of them. From then on Ivan had assaulted Rocco and I don't know...we got caught up in ta moment and ended up fightin' with them. I'm very sorry baby, we got carried away over Roc."  
  
"Hmm...funny how Rocco conveniently left that part out when he came to pick up your clothes." she replied shifting her anger to the Italian now.  
  
"Well t'ats Roc for ye. Anyways Con and I ended up passing out in ta apartment Doc lets us use above ta bar. The Russians came back wanting revenge and tried ta assault Con and I again...but we handled it. We came ta police station ta tell our side of ta story, and now they know ta truth. We're cleared of any charges so don't worry." Murphy explained opting to leave out the part of being held at gunpoint while Connor jumped out a window with a literal toilet.  
  
"Well...I'm just glad you're okay, even though I'm mad at you for not keeping your promise." Nolee replied frowning hearing him sigh on the other end.  
  
"You're right I didn't and I'm sorry for that baby. But I do promise we weren't seekin' out ta trouble, ye know Con and I wouldn't do t'at. We were actually havin' a good time before ta fuckin' Russians ruined it."  
  
"Well is there any reason you're still having to be at the station if you're cleared?"  
  
"Uhh...apparently ta media is gettin' a kick out of this whole thing and wanted ta interview us. Of course Con and I said no, we don't want ta attract anymore attention. We're just stayin' overnight until the press goes away. We'll be home in ta mornin' I swear."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"I will make it up ta ye when I get home okay?"  
  
"You better."  
  
"Ye have full permission ta beat me ass if I don't." Murphy replied sincerely as she begrudgingly smiled.  
  
"Okay. Just...no more bar fights though okay?" she pleaded.  
  
"No more bar fights." he assured. "I'll see ye tomorrow and give Ruby a goodnight kiss for me. I love ye, a lot."  
  
"I love you too Murphy." she responded gently.  
  
"Roc just got here I'll talk to ye later lass." Murphy had told her before she heard the line go dead. Hanging the phone back on the receiver a deep sigh escaped her mouth as she looked out the window.  
  
"I'm beating his ass regardless."  
_____  
  
  
*Later that night*  
  
Thunder had clapped loudly outside of the station as rain began to pour heavily. The brothers had been fast asleep in the two small rusty beds of the holding cell. Both brothers body twitched as their minds began to dream simultaneously.  
  
_'Indifference of good men.'_ the familiar voice of the monsignor had entered their minds. Another clap of thunder roared as both brothers woke up gasping for air as another voice intercepted.  
  
_'Whosoever shed man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed. For in the image of God may deem a man.'_ Connor felt something strange go through him as he only sat up still panting and turned to his twin, who also had sat up, something clearly awakening in both of them. An unmistakable calling was reaching out to them.  
  
"Destroy all which is evil." he whispered gently as Murphy only turned his head to his brother.  
  
"...so that which is good may flourish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are at the last major plot twist. Yes, we'll be seeing the movie through the MC's perspective. The latter half of this story is what I envisioned first before writing the beginning to be honest. I'll obviously be changing things a bit to suit the story. However these will be the final chapters. I hope you will enjoy a new perspective (somewhat) and stick around. Thank you for reading!


	38. Saints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay...how much did you both drink last night exactly? Besides the typical Irish amount?"

***The morning after***  
  
Both brothers had woke up simultaneously to the sun beaming through the small cell window. Looking around the rundown musty room both brothers had swiftly put their shirts back on. Connor let out a cough feeling his throat get tight. There was a part of him questioning if last night had been real or just a dream. But as Murphy focused his gaze on the spiky haired male Connor inhaled a deep breath feeling shivers go up his spine.  
  
 _'All this crime bullshit happenin' now...it needs ta end.'_ Murphy whispered allowing Connor to hear him telepathically.  
  
 _'We must put a stop ta it.'_ Connor concurred at the realization.  
  
 _'We need ta rid ta evil...deliver justice. For us, for Nolee, for Boston.'_

'And t'at is exactly what we shall do brudder.' A pact had been inevitably between the twins who gave each other one final nod before the sound of beeping could be heard.  
  
"Ta fuck is that?" Connor questioned out loud as Murphy reached for the small device that ended up in the bed somehow.  
  
"It's that fuckin' Russian's pager." Murphy concluded as they grabbed their coats and made their way out of the holding cell back to the main floor of the officers. Upon entering the area a cheer from the officers had erupted when they noticed the brothers' presence. A chorus of "good morning" had been heard.  
  
"Have ye got a pen?" Connor asked an officer as he shook his hand before the officer handed him one. "I'll be right back." he added to Murphy before walking off, Murphy had turned his attention back to the enthusiastic officers.  
  
"Morning son, how are ya? We'd be honored if you joined us." one had smirked whilst handing Murphy a cup of coffee. "See this?" the officer added holding up a newspaper as Murphy took it in his hands curiously. The irishman's eyebrow had lifted when his eyes scanned the headliner.  
  
 _'The Saints of South Boston. Brothers' case discovered to be self defense.'_  
  
"Saints...?"  
______  
  
  
Nolee had finished making herself breakfast while Ruby was thankfully occupied in her bouncer so she could wash her dishes. Finishing just in time to hear the door jingle, immediately her body had turned as she crossed her arms under chest tapping her foot. Connor and Murphy soon appeared in the doorway both giving her a smile complete with nervous laughter.  
  
"You both are something else you know that?" she scolded but was relieved to see them back in the apartment.  
  
"We're sorry lass." both brothers had apologized as they walked to where she stood and each placed a kiss on her cheek.  
  
"Last thing we expected ta happen on St. Patty's Day was this." Connor explained with sincerity.  
  
"Well, I'm just happy you both aren't being charged with anything. Now we can move on from this." Nolee reasoned calmly as the twins looked at each other nervously, making her brown eyes shift between them. "Right...?" she questioned lifting an eyebrow.  
  
"Nolee...we need ta talk ta ye about somethin.' Murphy answered carefully scratching the side of his neck.  
  
"What?" she asked nervously eyeing them both closely as Murphy had only placed the newspaper in her hand. Her brown eyes had scanned the front page causing her lip to twitch when she also read the headliner.  
  
"Saints of South Boston?" she said aloud. "What does that mean?"  
  
"The media seems ta think we're heroes for what happened with ta russians." Murphy explained.  
  
"That's why we stayed ta night at ta station." Connor added in clarification.  
  
"Is this supposed to be a bad thing?" she asked not following along.  
  
"Umm...how about you sit down lass." Connor suggested as Nolee followed him to the couch while Murphy walked over to Ruby's bouncer and kissed her on the head as she remained content in the contraption.  
  
"Connor, Murphy what is going on? I want answers, now." she demanded pointing a finger at the both of them. The brothers had then explained to her what occurred last night at the station about their sudden vision. A mix of shock and confusion had slowly spread over the girl's face unsure of what to say, and whether she had actually heard them correctly.  
  
"Y-You're both really telling me...that you had a vision...that God gave you both a _calling_ to become _vigilantes_ against bad people?" Nolee replied slowly.  
  
"Precisely yes." Murphy shrugged nodding his head at the same time.  
  
"Okay...how much did you both drink last night exactly? Besides the typical Irish amount?" she questioned as both brothers scoffed.  
  
"We're not tryin' ta cod ye Nolee."  
  
"We're being totally serious lass." Connor assured while only a small gasp had left her lips.  
  
"Are you both crazy?! You seriously want to be vigilantes, do you know how dangerous that is?! How could you two even think up something like this?"  
  
"I know it sounds insane, but just please hear us out."  
  
"Oh, I'd love for you to enlighten me Murphy." Nolee retorted anxiously.  
  
"Look you and I both know t'at ta crimes bein' committed around Boston are at an all time high. Ta mafiosos are ruling ta streets and shuttin' all kinds of businesses down, forcing good people ta lose their livelihood. I'm ashamed ta say we've been turnin' a blind eye ta it, but it can't be ignored anymore. Somethin' needs ta be done, someone needs ta teach these motherfuckers how ta act. People like Doc who've worked their asses off all their life don't deserve ta have their business taken away from some pompous assholes wouldn't ye agree?" Murphy questioned as Nolee pondered the idea.  
  
"Well yes, but..."  
  
"But nothin' lass. If someone doesn't step up ta plate, they will continue ta harm innocent lives." Connor reasoned.  
  
"We've been given t'at opportunity love, ta finally help ta city. Deliver justice and truth." Murphy added as she attempted to soak in their words. Part of her had somehow understood their logic but the sensible part was on high alert.  
  
"You guys I understand where you're coming from I suppose, I just don't think this is a good idea. I mean you're talking about killing..."  
  
"Let me ask ye somethin' else then Nolee." Murphy replied gently scooting closer to where she sat. "After everythin' ye gone through with Tristan and Foster, ye know better than anyone else t'at no one deserves t'at type of life. Now imagine all ta other helpless girls out t'ere who are dealin' with ta same pain,  innocent children havin' ta suffer too. If ye were given ta opportunity ta help them, wouldn't ye?" Murphy hypothesized as the question threw her off balance.  
  
Her eyes flickered slightly thinking the question over. Murphy had been correct that the type of abuse she was subjected to, no one deserved. No one deserved to be forced into a painful situation and feel as there was no hope for freedom. He was also correct about the crime rates going up recently in Boston. There was many reports she'd hear about on the radio at work especially involving the mafias. Even though she was disgusted by what she heard, she too was guilty of turning a blind eye. It hadn't occurred to her until now just how many people possibly were still enduring what she fought so hard to be free from.  
  
"I would..." she whispered to them after a moment of silence.  
  
"We've been called ta help those other women and children, keep 'em safe from ta pieces of shit clogging up Boston with their scare tactics. All t'at evil, we could end it." Connor added.  
  
"But what if you get in trouble with the law? What if you...get hurt?" she whispered once more in fear while Murphy had squeezed her hand.  
  
"We'd be careful with every move we make love. We know we'd have ta be smart about it and remain under ta radar."  
  
"But technically you're implying you'd take their lives first, how does make things any better? There's still lives being lost."  
  
"It would send a message." Connor reasoned as her gaze turned back to him. "It would wake ta bastards ta fuck up and hopefully encourage them ta make change. If someone we're ta give 'em a taste of their own medicine, maybe just maybe they'd cut their shit out." he added firmly. Nolee still felt uneasy at the idea but as it began to sink more and more, she began to think that somehow they were right. Perhaps it wasn't so bad they would take it upon themselves to help other people. Nolee never expected to see the day her moral compass would be tested this extreme. After all...it was for a good cause...wasn't it? It would indirectly help save innocent people from the mafiosos taking over Boston. Connor and Murphy would be the good guys regardless, even if their methods were unconventional.  
  
Maybe she was crazy to consider standing by them...but they were her Irishmen. They'd helped her when she needed it most and despite all that transpired between them, she'd never turn her back on them, especially now. Their proposal was unfathomable yes, but she couldn't find the urge to say no.  
  
"I-I'll go along with it. I may not fully understand it, but I'll support you both." she ultimately decided. A mix of relief and gratefulness seemed to wash over them both as they went into to hug her.  
  
"We knew you wouldn't let us down lass." Connor replied with a small smile.  
  
"We're gettin' justice for ye too, remember t'at." Murphy whispered into her ear making her bite her lip but nod.  
  
"What about Ruby and I, I want to know we'll be safe."  
  
"We will never let ye get caught up in this, we will make sure ye stay out of it." Murphy assured.  
  
"So if you both plan on really doing this, what would I have to do?" she questioned curiously.  
  
"Just keep lovin' us ta way ye do." Murphy answered lightly kissing her jaw. "And if anyone were ta ask ye questions, ye don't answer them."  
  
"Okay." she nodded once more in understanding. "Just promise me you both won't end up hurt, that you'll both come home to Ruby and I. If things get too crazy...you stop it okay? Sweart to me." she demanded with a shaky voice. Connor and Murphy had looked at each other briefly before nodding.  
  
"We swear Nolee, we swear."  
  
The rest of the night had made Nolee uneasy but allowed the brothers to carry on with their planning. Her life seemed to want to take as many sharp turns as possible. As she stared at them both watching TV simultaneously playing with Ruby, her stomach churned slightly. It was hard to picture the annoying yet lovable twin brothers would soon be vigilantes. A part of her had almost laughed at the irony of it all seeming like some a bad comic book. But crazily enough this was not fantasy...it was indeed real life.  
  
Nolee had put Ruby to bed while Connor and Murphy continued their conversation in the living room. Needing a moment to breathe Nolee had focused on Ruby sleeping in her crib. It wasn't long before she felt familiar hands wrap around her waist.  
  
"Ye know I wouldn't consider this unless I knew it could work." Murphy whispered into her ear.  
  
"As long as you come to home me every night...I'll adjust to it."  
  
"Now t'ats not a problem me beautiful girl."  
  
"What about Kira? What do I tell her?" she questioned curiously unsure if she could keep something this major from her best friend.  
  
"Perhaps ye should wait for Connor and her ta have t'at conversation first."  
  
"Fine. And Rocco?"  
  
"Definitely don't think it's wise ta inform Rocco, given ta people he works for are ta people we're seekin' out." Murphy reasoned awkwardly.  
  
"Okay..." was all she could respond with. "What's your next move then?"  
  
"I don't know..." Murphy admitted quietly. "I need ta talk with Con first." he added turning her around to face him. "But I promise every move we make will be carefully thought out, we're not just goin in ta this blindly."  
  
"Please just be safe. I don't want anything to happen to you, I...I couldn't handle it Murphy." she whispered feeling tears build in the corner of her eyes feeling him squeeze her tighter.  
  
"I'll never leave ye side me love. But if I can make ta world a better place for ye and t'at precious little girl, I won't think twice about it. Ye both deserve ta moon and ta stars." Murphy smiled sweetly as she only wrapped her arms around him tightly burying her face into the crook of his neck.  
  
"We don't need the moon and stars, we just need you."  
______  
  
When Nolee had fallen asleep Murphy quietly undid her arms from his shoulders and let her hands gently fall onto the bedspread. Carefully planting a kiss on her cheek Murphy snuck out of the bed and placed his feet on the floor. The bed had dipped despite his best efforts not to and he quickly looked back to make sure the girl was not disturbed. When she made no sound Murphy quietly walked out of the room back into the living room. Finding Connor watching his western movies, his attention immediately shifted to his twin.  
  
"She okay?" Connor asked with genuine concern.  
  
"It'll take some time ta adjust, she'll be okay though." Murphy assured. "What's our plan?" he asked curiously making Connor shut off the TV.  
  
"I called ta number on Ivan's beeper. There's a Russian crime syndicate being planned at ta Copley Plaza Hotel at 9 pm. Room 701." Connor informed recalling his phone call at the police station earlier this morning.  
  
"Good, we'll intercept it then."  
  
"But first...we're gonna need some weapons."  
  
  
  
  



	39. Funny Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't you think that's a little weird? A little psycho?"

A sense of anxiousness laced with determination radiated in the air as the brothers allowed their feet to carry them to their intended destination. Careful calculations had slowly begun to allow their predilections for justice come to fruition. Keeping a poker face and thoughts composed, the twin brothers had walked in sync, each set of hands clutching tightly to the black bag they carried. An internal satisfaction of the passerbys being none the wiser of their presence walking by. Silence had been held between the two of them but no words needed to be spoken. Each of them aware of what the goal was, all that had been left for them to do was show up. Their feet began to pick up the pace when the familiar gold trimmed building came into view and descending down the stairs.  
  
Taking steps into the plaza the brothers coolly passed the front desk heading straight for the elevators. It was only when the elevator doors had shut Murphy's mind began to drift, a slight churning in his stomach had started. His mind involuntarily going back to last night.  
  
_"We're solid now. All we need ta do is show up tomorrow. We intercept ta syndicate and eliminate 'em as quickly as possible." Connor had told him as they zipped up the black bags containing their new prizes, thanks to the valuables of the Russians. Using them for compensation towards the underground IRA the brothers had gained access to weaponry of their choosing. Satisfied at being well armed Connor and Murphy felt confident in their ability to carry out their plans._

_Making their way back to apartment the brothers had quietly put away their caches. Bidding one another goodnight having snuck out after the small girl fell asleep, Murphy swiftly changed out of his clothes and climbed back into bed snuggling Nolee. His hands had run through her hair in an attempt to distract him from what was bound to occur the next day._ _The brothers carried on like usual with their normal routines but the anticipation had coursed through their veins impatiently. However the brothers did their best to remain cool around Nolee and not get her suspicious. They didn't think letting her know they were planning to ambush a Russian syndicate so soon would go over well._  
_They managed to keep things under wraps for the most part but as the clock struck closer to 9 things were bound to get interesting. Murphy thought the tides had been in his favor in being able to make a clean exit without disturbing the small girl when she had gone off to prepare Ruby's nightly routine. Murphy didn't have to guess that his twin was already preparing his own things. Heading to the kitchen to grab a few needed items and returning the little assurance he felt had instantly faded when he discovered Nolee in their bedroom. A pang of guilt had ran through him noticing her stiff posture and unsure expression as her eyes zeroed in on the opened black bag._  
_"So you're really doing this huh?" she whispered feeling his presence. He could tell by her tone that there was still some shock and perhaps even the small hope that the brothers would reconsider. A sigh had escaped Murphy's lips as he walked closer to her._

"Yes lass...we are." he confirmed watching her chest rise and fall as she inhaled a deep breath.

"Where are you going?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Fairmont Copley Plaza." he answered vaguely not wanting to elaborate on what for.

"Is that where...the bad guys are?" Nolee had answered catching on anyways.

"Some of them yes."

"Are they...armed?" she pressed on clearly becoming worried. Murphy gently grabbed the side of her hip and turned her around.

"Honestly... more than likely they are, yes. But as ye can see, so are we. Connor and I have made sure ta plan this out well. I know it's redundant tellin' ye not ta worry...but we'll be okay." he assured cupping her cheek while she had only bit her lip but nodded.

"You'll come home to me like you promised?" she reminded him while her lip had made the slightest tremble, making him place a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll be home before ye know it." Murphy exhaled a deep breath pushing aside the guilt that had begun to start up again. There had been a very small moment of reconsideration as they stood in the elevator. What they were about do was unlike anything they had ever done in their lives. What they did in their younger years back Ireland was kindergarten shit. They were treading uncharted territory on the highest level.  
  
"Ye nervous?" Connor asked lightly sensing his twin's overthinking.  
  
"A bit." Murphy had admitted looking back up at his brother.  
  
"Myself as well." Connor had agreed back but before they had even the smallest chance to rethink their decision, Connor had taken the liberty to press the emergency stop button of the elevator.  
  
"It's now or never."  
________  
  
  
"You think we baked enough cookies to feed the whole city of Boston or what?" Nolee remarked to Ruby as she gently rocked her side to side sighing at the various baking trays that were cooling off. She fought hard to keep her eyes from continuing to glance at the door but it was difficult. The nervous pangs had already started to act up as she did her best to not think about what the boys were doing in that moment. Finding every little task she could to keep busy had proven to be a challenge. A piece of her still in disbelief that the brothers had really set out to do their work.  
__  
'Please don't let this bite me in the ass.' her mind had thought.  Up until this point Nolee never really considered herself to be religious. She didn't reject the idea that there could be a high power or something like that, she respected other people's beliefs, but her own beliefs were unknown. Maybe it had been her life situations that played a role in it, so naturally Nolee had it found hard to understand the brothers' crusade. But given the special circumstances Nolee had for the first time opened her mind up. After all the brothers would never do anything careless...at least to this extent. Connor and Murphy had always done things with the goodest of intentions so maybe that was why she had ultimately allowed them to move forward. She had just only hoped they would be able to handle the consequences that would surely come with it. Another sigh had left her lips as her eyes glanced down at Ruby feeding while looking back up at her with curiosity.  
  
"And how the hell am I going to explain this to you when you get older?" she lamented already imagining the future conversations that would be had making Nolee only shake her head. Her thoughts had automatically returned to brothers' wondering what exactly could be going on at this very moment.  
  
Above all else...she just hoped they were okay.  
_____  
  
Connor and Murphy had prepared to make their move, first saying a prayer. Reaching into their bags they each had pulled out some rope, thanks to Connor.  
  
"You and ye stupid fuckin' rope." Murphy retorted to his twin as they hoisted the ropes over their shoulders. Confident he was able to put his western movie knowledge to the test, Connor looked up at the ceiling and smiled slightly upon finding an opening. Giving a less than enthusiastic Murphy a boost up into the shaft first, Murphy had soon then helped Connor up. Pleased his idea had worked out, Connor smirked at his twin.  
  
"I told ye there would be a shaft."  
  
"Just like on television." Murphy replied almost impressed. The daunting task of squeezing themselves into the vents was inevitable. Connor had led the way as they began in search of the syndicate. It seemed like they had been crawling through forever until they could hear the faint voices of the Russians. The problem was, Connor couldn't see where they'd be able to escape from. Each turn had become a dead end somehow.  
  
"Where ta fuck are ye goin?" Murphy questioned in annoyance his twin.  
  
"Shh!" Connor snapped at the dark haired male. "I'm figurin' some shit out here."  
  
"Oh fuck ye. I'm sweatin' my ass off draggin' ye fuckin' rope around. It must weigh 30 pounds." Murphy retorted as Connor had only shushed him again.  
  
"We are doin' some serious shit here. Now get a fuckin' hold of yourself!"  
  
"Oh fuck ye! I'm not ta rope-totin' Charlie Bronson wannabe that's gettin' us fuckin' lost."  
  
"Would ye just fuckin' shut it!" Connor snapped before smacking his twin on the head with the flashlight that had been in his hand. Murphy had only grit his teeth unable to stop the urge from beating his brother's ass. The sound of vents shaking began as the brothers wrestled inside the narrow space, unaware that the more they moved the weaker the vents had suddenly become. Starting to collapse in the brothers had snapped their attention back to reality.  
  
"Jesus fuckin' Christ." Connor exclaimed feeling the vent further continue to cave in as Murphy's eyes had widened.  
  
"Oh shit." Murphy whispered and no sooner later had the vent completely collapsed causing the brothers to fall through. Having been miraculously saved by the bundles of rope and falling directly in the center of Russian syndicate, the Russians had immediately drawn their guns the same time as the brothers. It seemed like the room had begun to spin fast (literally) as the brothers aimed their guns towards their targets. The sound of bullets being fired simultaneously mixed with screams of pain had echoed through the large room. Blood had begun to decorate the white walls and furniture as the massacre had been executed. Skillfully eliminating most of the targets, Connor had reached for the knife in his pocket to cut the part of the rope tangled around their feet.  
  
A scream of protest had been made by Yuri Petrova, the syndicate boss appalled at having his men being taken down so quickly. Connor and Murphy had swiftly grabbed the overweight man and forced him to his knees as Yuri called for one last plea of help from his men. Connor and Murphy had only aimed both their guns at the back of his head.  
__  
"Shepherds we shall be  
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee  
Power had descended forth Thy hand  
Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command  
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee  
And teeming with souls it shall be."

In Nomine Patris, et Filli, et Spiritus Sancti."  
______  
  
Time had seemed to go painfully slow for Nolee as she eventually was unable to distract herself any further once Ruby had fallen asleep. Biting her fingernails anxiously she stared at the cream colored door anxiously awaiting the brothers' return. With no calls to let her know they were still alive and well, her mind had begun to imagine all sorts of scenarios.  
  
"Why did I let them do this those damn Iri-" she began to speak but the sound of the door jingling had made her practically spring off the couch. "Oh thank god!"  
  
Running to the door she opened it swiftly, exhaling a deep breath to see Connor and Murphy. Although their hair was matted and wet from sweat, they appeared to be relatively unharmed. The brothers had of course only smirked back at her.  
  
"Lucy we're home." Connor smiled as Nolee shot him a glare.  
  
"Not fucking funny!"  
  
"Aye, I told ye we'd come home, didn't I?" Murphy smiled pulling her into his arms and despite him being sweaty, Nolee squeezed him back.  
  
"You're okay." she whispered.  
  
"Of course we're okay." he whispered back.  
  
"W-what happened?" she couldn't help but question as she felt Murphy stiffen a bit as he pulled back.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"You motherfuckers!" Rocco had yelled suddenly appearing in their doorway while Nolee's eyes widen in surprise.  
  
"Rocco? What are you doing here?" she questioned confused seeing the hairy Italian, her eyes briefly glancing at Murphy. The visibly discombobulated Italian had only sent daggers towards the twin brothers pointing his index finger.  
  
"Well thanks to Connor and your dickhead of a boyfriend..."  
__  
_'And I shall count thee among my favored sheep. And you shall have the protection of all the angels in heaven.'_  
_"I love our new job." Murphy grinned largely upon holding up the stack of bills from small briefcase that was now left on the countertop unattended. The brothers looked around at their work and couldn't help but feel satisfied that despite their plan going slight awry, they had succeeded in eliminating the Russian syndicate, the plan almost working too good. The men had been misplaced over the floor covered in red, arms crossed over their chests, and pennies on each of their eyes. A prayer had been made to send the men off to their maker. But as the brothers had begun to celebrate to their victory the sound of the hotel room door being knocked on alerted them._  
__  
_Connor and Murphy briefly glanced at each other before pulling their black ski masks back over their faces and getting their guns ready as they made to the door. Connor had looked into the peephole and was in disbelief at the person on the other end._  
__  
_"It's Roc." he informed his brother studying the Italian who appeared to under a describe as a bell boy with only a name tag that read 'Jaffar.' Suddenly it all seemed to click in his head. "Pappa Joe must've sent him here as well after ta Russians too. This has ta be his big break...we've got ta fuck with him." Connor grinned unable to help himself as Murphy gasped slightly at the idea but was quickly persuaded, nodding in mutual amusement._  
__  
_"On three when I open ta door, ye grab him by his hair." Connor whispered looking at the door waiting several seconds before throwing the door open. The brothers shouted as they grabbed Rocco by his hair and dragged him inside the hotel room. Instant fear spreading across an unsuspecting Rocco realizing he had walked into something not right._

_"Don't shoot!"_

_"Shut up and get on ta ground!" Connor yelled as they forced the Italian onto the floor._

_"Don't shoot, we're on the same side! Boss sent me in as backup! I'm Rocco, I'm the funny man!" Rocco attempted to explain as Connor and Murphy were secretly dying inside but kept their act up._

_"Where's your gun?!" Connor demanded still aiming his own gun at the Italian who flinched uncontrollably._

_"It's in my waistband!" he replied meekly as Connor searched Rocco's lower half to retrieve his weapon. A moment of disbelief had run through him as he observed the weapon Rocco had been given. Clearly the Italian had purposely been given a weapon that was very much incapable for the job._

_"It's a fuckin' six shooter!" Connor growled at Murphy who shared the same disbelief before turning his annoyance back to Rocco._

_"There's nine bodies genius!" Murphy patronized narrowing his eyes._

_"What ta fuck were ye gonna do! Laugh ta last three men ta death, huh funny man?!" Connor shouted._

_"Pappa Joe said there was only two! In and out!" he gasped looking around at the various bodies on the ground, now realizing there was obviously more than just two. "Shit, you guys are good huh? Cool masks, where did you get them?" he attempted in a last ditch effort to butter up the two men._

_"We gotta do him right here, right now!" Connor gritted his teeth as he cocked his gun back and aimed it at the Italian's face that was drained of color._

_"Please don't kill me! I'm the funny man!" Rocco squealed and just as the Italian had nearly come close to pissing himself, the brothers finally deciding to show mercy, lifted up their ski masks. Unable to contain their laughter watching Rocco's eyes flicker wildly in confusion. Getting up from the floor Connor and Murphy had removed their coats still largely amused watching Rocco follow suit fully looking around the room baffled at the bloodied bodies._ _"What a fuckin' idiot!"_  
_"Fuckin' what?! What the fuck?! Fuck! Who the fuck?! Fuck this fuckin, how did you two fuckin' fucks, fuck!" Rocco gasped struggling to comprehend the situation as Connor only smirked._  
  
_"Well that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word."_  
  
"You fuckin' assholes nearly gave me a heart attack!" Rocco angrily shouted while Nolee's eyebrow had raised processing what apparently occurred at the hotel. That certainly hadn't been what she expected to hear about their so called mission.  
  
"It's not our fault ye a fuckin' moron who thought a six shooter would actually work." Connor retorted still annoyed at the fact. It was clear whatever was planned on Rocco's end had been made to set the Italian up.  
  
"Umm...I'm just happy all three of you made it back." Nolee added in awkwardly but grateful to see all three men in the apartment unharmed.  
  
"What the hell were you two even doing there in the first place?!" Rocco inquired still baffled, the last thing he he had expected to see when he decided to take on Pappa Joe's request of intercepting the Russians was the Irish bastards.  
  
"Uhh let's talk about it over some beers...."  
~  
  
The brothers had no other choice but to sit Rocco down and let him in on their devised impromptu quest for justice. There was a brief moment of awkwardness between the four adults as they sat at the kitchen table. Rocco shifted his eyes between the brothers in astonishment.  
  
"Anybody you think is evil...?" Rocco rephrased furrowing his eyebrows. "Don't you think that's a little weird? A little psycho?"  
  
"Ye know what I think is psycho Roc?" Connor began taking a large gulp of his beer. "Is decent men with lovin' families, they go home every day after work and turn on ta television, ye know what they see? They see rapists, murderers, and child molesters. They're all gettin' out of prison."  
  
"Mafiosos gettin' caught with 20 kilos...gettin' out on bail same fuckin' day." Murphy added snapping his fingers in agitation.  
  
"And everywhere, everyone thinks ta same thing. T'at someone should just go and kill those motherfuckers."  
  
"Kill 'em all." Murphy whispered. "Admit it...even ye thought about it." he added pointing a finger at Rocco. Rocco had taken a moment to think about what the brothers had said. A mixture of shock and morbid curiosity ran through this mind, the curious part slowly winning.  
  
"You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit." Rocco whispered before standing up from the table. "Fuck it, there's so much shit that pisses me off! You guys should recruit, because I'm sick and tired of walking down the street waiting for these crack pipin, ass wipin, motherless lowlifes to get me!"  
  
"Hallelujah Jaffar." Murphy mused.  
  
"You're not just talking about mob guys right? You're talking about pimps and drug dealers and all that other shit right?"  Rocco inquired while both brothers had nodded slowly.  
  
"Fuck...you guys could do this every day." Rocco whispered astonished as a smirk spread across Murphy's face.  
  
"We're sort of like 7-11. We're not always doing business....but we're always open."  
____  
  
  
The men had continued to talk about their newfound quest. Even though Rocco wasn't partaking in the brother's actions, he had none the less offered his full support to their cause. Nolee had still been unsure listening to the men, walking into the bedroom to check on Ruby needing a small break from it all. Her stomach fluttered nervously as it all began to become very real after the brother's ambush tonight. She knew there was officially no going back for the brothers as now they had gotten a taste of vigilantism and things having gone rather successful, they'd obviously be seeking out more opportunities. Nolee inhaled a breath as she stood inside the kitchen taking a large sip of water before her hands rested on the cool counter. A small chill had run down her spine as her ears zeroed in on the television.  
__  
'I'm Sally McBride and I'm live from the Copley Plaza Hotel, where we have just been informed that the largest multiple murder in Boston's history had just taken place. There were nine victims all deeply involved in a notoriously violent Russian crime syndicate, right here in Boston.' Her mind was beginning to waver off involuntarily, she had become unaware of Murphy's presence creeping behind her. Her body soon becoming stiff realizing Murphy had placed something heavy in her hand. Looking down at the item her eyes had widen upon discovering a large wad of cash.  
  
"I told ye we're good." Murphy remarked gently. It occurred to her they must've collected the cash from their ambush.  
  
"If we do well like I think we will...there will be more of t'at." Murphy had assured her. Not knowing how to feel about it all, she returned the wad of cash back into his hand no longer wanting to touch it.  
  
"I think after tonight Con and I have established we're capable of continuin' this. A couple things went awry but...we handled those guys fairly well, we could really be cut out for this." Murphy whispered once more feeling encouraged, Nolee could see how proud he was too. She had only looked down at her feet still not knowing what to say. She could feel Murphy's hands turn her around and push her backwards until her lower back had rested against the kitchen counter. His face lingering dangerously close to hers holding her waist.  
  
"Ye trust me don't ye?" he whispered as his blue eyes gazed into hers. Nolee shivered slightly in his grasp and the intensity of his stare but nodded.  
  
"I do." she answered back quietly. Murphy had smiled lightly before connecting his lips to hers but there seemed to be something different in the way he kissed her. As his lips deepened the kiss his body fully pressed against hers, his tongue had sneaked its way into her mouth. Nolee shivered once more when Murphy slowly dragged his teeth along her bottom lip. She noticed his breathing was picking up when he lowered his head to kiss her neck. A light moan had seeped out at the contact.  
  
"Murphy..." she whispered in what was meant to be a warning but unable to deny the tingles caused by his teeth grazing the flesh. "Connor and Rocco..."  
  
"They left." Murphy panted with assurance nipping at her neck some more. His hands had squeezed all over body hurriedly before cupping her rear making her jump slightly. Nolee could tell Murphy was still amped up from their ambush, adrenaline was still coursing through his veins.  
  
(author's next : warning, sexy time ahead.)

"Ruby," she tried next knowing her guard was quickly faltering.  
  
"Still asleep, now come here woman." he gasped in anticipation. "Ye don't know how much I'm dyin' inside ta touch ye right now." he whispered in frustration knowing it had been too long since they were last like this. Nolee's breathing had also picked up feeling the craving start within her. Technically she still had about a week or so to go before they could freely participate in fun time, but right now she battled the importance of technicalities staring into those damn hypnotizing blue eyes. In that moment it had not fazed her he had just taken out nine men a while ago. Her moral compass once again malfunctioning feeling the beloved warm set of hands on her.  
  
"Fuck it." she gasped in defeat wrapping herself around him as a small smirk victoriously had formed on his face feeling her reconnect their lips more wantingly. Murphy wasted no time in hoisting the small girl up in the air and placing her on top of the counter creating a gasp from her. Murphy had swiftly pulled his gray shirt over his head before tossing it behind him. Nolee ran her hands down his chest to which Murphy moaned in relief that she would assuage his craving. Murphy's hands had grabbed the hem of her tank top and lifted it over her head. Growling in pleasure at the sight of her bra covered breasts, it was safe to say Murphy had been pleased the way they had grown quite rapidly thanks to breastfeeding.  
  
Impatiently unhooking her bra and tossing it with the other pieces of clothing Nolee gasped loudly feeling his hands cup them roughly as his mouth had went back to devouring her neck. She bit her lip closing her eyes feeling his fingers pinch the hardened nubs. As his mouth went back to the little spot on her neck she couldn't resist, his hands had went to work at removing her yoga pants next. Nolee shivered yet again when a hand had snaked it's way into her pink panties.  
  
"Mmm Murphy," she gasped as fingers began to caress her mound while his mouth captured a sensitive nipple. Lightly grazing the hardened nub, his fingers had teased the tiny bundle of nerves below.  
  
"I love how wet ye get for me." he whispered darkly feeling her juices quickly coat his fingers. Becoming increasingly turned on at his faint dirty talk her hips squirmed against his fingers desperate for more. Murphy was more than happy to oblige by slipping two fingers inside her eliciting a whimper of pleasure.  
  
Murphy slowly pumped his fingers in and out her slick entrance while his mouth had released her other nipple. Lifting his head up to meet her gaze Nolee's face had flushed staring into his eyes again. His pupils were fully dilated with lust, taking pride in seeing her hot and bothered all because of him. His free hand cupped the side of her neck when he pulled her face into another heated kiss. As his fingers began to pump rapidly inside her, Nolee moaned against his lips feeling the pleasure intensify. Her hand clutched his forearm that was holding her neck as she felt herself get closer to climax. Murphy didn't let up his assault on her mound. Her moaning becoming louder the closer she got but just as she was about to reach the finish line, Murphy had suddenly retracted his fingers cruelly. Not appreciating his action in the slightest she shot him a dirty look look to which he only smirked.  
  
"What's ta matter love?" he teased faking innocence but enjoying her reaction to his teasing while she only narrowed her eyes at him. Murphy had reached into his pocket conveniently pulling out the small contraceptive.  
  
"Oh, so you just assumed you'd get some tonight is that it?" Nolee retorted.  
  
"I may have had a small hope I'd get rewarded for makin' it home." Murphy admitted lightly smirking. "I made good on me word didn't I? Although I have ta say I'm kinda disappointed we got ta use these shits again." he added while opening the foil causing the small girl to roll her eyes. Murphy undid the belt holdings his jeans followed by the zipper. Allowing his jeans to puddle at his feet he stepped out of them and carelessly kicked them to the side. Stripping himself of the last piece of clothing, Nolee anxiously watched him grab his erection and place the condom over it before lining it up at her entrance. His eyes had met hers once again as he slowly slid himself inside, both of them moaning in relief. Murphy pushed all the way inside until her walls had reached his base.  
  
Nolee wrapped her arms around his shoulders to steady herself on the counter as he began to pulse in and out. Picking up rhythm Murphy's hands had held her hips tightly while her legs wrapped around his torso. Groaning at her walls hugging around him so well and seeing as he didn't have to be as gentle now, Murphy thrust his hips faster making the small girl squeal in equal amounts of surprise and pleasure, turning him on fully.  
  
"Oh fuck," she gasped in response as a small chuckle left his lips while he carried on.  
  
"Tell me ye mine." he grunted into her ear, his lust at the maximum limit.  "And _only_ mine."  
  
"I'm yours, and only yours." she whispered back freely whimpering when it only made his movements become more deep. Feeling the familiar sensation return Nolee squirmed when it had seemed to come back twice as strong.  
  
"Fuck I love bein' inside of ye." Murphy panted also starting to feel close, his hands gripping her thighs pinning her lower half to him. His mouth returning to devour her neck once again.  
  
"Murphy oh god,"  
  
"Give it ta me baby, give it all ta me." he softly coaxed.  
  
His permission had been her breaking point as the pleasure had finally surged through her body, a string of moans echoed in the kitchen as her fingernails had dug into his back riding out her orgasm. Murphy hissed in some pain but mostly pleasure from her fingernails sending him off into his own release, both their moans mixed together throughout the kitchen.  
  
When Nolee finally came down from her high Murphy had thrust several times before they both had finished. Murphy panted heavily slumping against her with his face resting in the crook of her neck. Her cheeks had became red upon realizing what they just had done, on the counter no less. She'd definitely would have to sanitize that later.  
  
_'Sorry Connor.'_  
  
"Christ, t'at was fantastic." Murphy noted still catching his breath while Nolee had rolled her eyes but lightly smiled when he kissed her one last time before pulling out of her slowly. Using a hand to slide off the condom and discard of it in the nearby trash can, Murphy swiftly helped her off the counter. Nolee felt her feet touch the cold floor while wobbling slightly. "I certainly missed t'at."  
  
"I bet you did." she responded in sarcasm making him smirk once again.  
  
"Think I can get rewarded like t'at every time I make it home?"  
  
"Don't push it."


	40. Set Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't start, I don't want to hear I told you so."

The next morning had seem to come too fast when the sound of Ruby's crying had woken Nolee up once again. A soft sigh escaped her mouth knowing her tiny chance of going back to sleep was a pipe dream, Ruby had already been changed and fed so it was likely she was ready to be up for the morning. Groggily and slowly she raised her upper half off the bed when Murphy had stopped her.  
  
"Don't worry love, I got her, go back to sleep." he whispered softly.  
  
"Are you sure?" Nolee asked tiredly making him chuckle at how adorable she looked when she was groggy.  
  
"Yes lass, get a little more sleep." he assured kissing the tip of her nose making her smile at him gratefully before resting back on the bed. Murphy had hopped out of the bed and walked over to Ruby's crib gently picking her up. Ruby's cries had lessened when she was placed in Murphy's arms.  
  
"Morning me little sunshine." Nolee heard him say. "How 'bout you and I go put some toothpaste on uncle Con's hand and tickle his nose with a feather?" he added walking out the room with Ruby making Nolee giggle a bit. It wasn't long before her eyelids had become heavy and she was swiftly pulled back into slumber.  
  
When she had awoken once more she was relieved to feel more refreshed and swiftly got out of bed to check on Ruby and Murphy. Walking into the living room she found the pair of them sitting on the couch watching television.  
  
"And now I present ta ye Ruby ta greatest movie of all time, Ghostbusters." Murphy declared as him and Ruby began watching the movie while Nolee shook her head. But a small smile had formed as she couldn't deny watching the two of them made her heart swell.  
  
"Morning you both." she greeted them softly walking over to the couch.  
  
"Morning love, ye feel better now?" Murphy smiled diverting his gaze to her.  
  
"I do, thank you for letting me sleeping in." she answered gratefully.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Where's Rocco and Connor?"  
  
"Still asleep ta lazy bastards." Murphy answered in annoyance causing her to laugh.  
  
"Well since you let me sleep in, I'll make it even and cook breakfast for everyone."  
  
"Did someone say breakfast?" a familiar voice chimed in as Nolee excitedly turned around to find Kira in her doorway.  
  
"Kira!" she cried happily feeling as if she had not gotten to see her best friend nearly as much lately. "What are you doing here, not that I'm complaining."  
  
"Cosmo changed my schedule a bit so I'm off today, thought I'd come see my favorite niece. Hi Murphy." Kira replied waving to the Irishman.  
  
"Oh hey Kira." Murphy replied absentmindedly too involved with Ghostbusters, as if he hadn't seen it a million times already.  
  
"How's my temporary replacement going?" Nolee smiled as she inquired in curiosity knowing Cosmo had hired temporary help until her maternity leave was over. A scoff of disgust quickly escaped the tall brunette's mouth.  
  
"Talk about a snoregasm! John is so corporate and by the book, he doesn't appreciate my jokes at all! The worst part is he's actually **kind** to customers, how grotesque is that? Hurry up and come back I beg you!" Kira lamented causing Nolee to giggle.  
  
"Sorry K." Nolee apologized. "But my leave won't be over for a while."  
  
"I know, you're bonding with Ruby right now. Speaking of which, hand her over Irishman." Kira demanded to Murphy as he rolled his eyes but got up from the couch gently handing over the newborn to a giddy Kira.  
  
"There ye go crazy." he retorted just as a groggy Connor and Rocco had emerged from the door.  
  
"Mornin.' Connor greeted lazily. It was obvious the men were dealing with a slight hangover, most likely having gone to the bar last night.  
  
"Morning." Nolee and Kira had replied in unison, Nolee's eyebrow raised upon seeing Connor walking to Kira and kissing her cheek, a small blush spreading across Kira's face.  
  
"We'll let ye girls catch up." Murphy offered kindly giving a Nolee a kiss as well before all three men had went out for a smoke break.  
  
"So?" Kira asked when the guys had were gone.  
  
"So what?"  
  
"We're not gonna mention the obvious of Connor and Murphy deciding to become vigilantes!" Kira replied anxiously.  
  
"Connor told you I guess?"  
  
"Well obviously."  
  
"I know it's a little absurd-"  
  
"Absurd? This is like a movie! Our boyfriends are secretly sexy crime fighting badasses trying to make Boston a better place." Kira gushed unaware of the words that just left her mouth making Nolee raise her eyebrows and eyes to widen. Noticing Nolee's reaction it had hit Kira what she said, a small gasp escaping her mouth.  
  
"I mean umm...uhh..." she stammered.  
  
"Boyfriends? Something you want to tell me Kira?" Nolee questioned knowingly.  
  
"No..." Kira quickly answered nervously shifting her eyes down to Ruby.  
  
"Kira."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can tell you're lying." Nolee scoffed zeroing her eyes at the taller brunette who persisted with denial but became increasingly uncomfortable at Nolee's intense gaze. After a moment Kira had cracked from the pressure, throwing the hand that wasn't holding Ruby up in the air.  
  
"Fine! Maybe perhaps, Connor and I are what you would describe as a _couple_." Kira admitted using finger quotations for the word couple.  
  
"What?!" Nolee gasped beaming as if she had just won the lottery. "I TOLD YOU-"  
  
"Don't start, I don't want to hear I told you so." Kira countered in annoyance as Nolee only continued to smirk.  
  
"I knew it."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"You've officially gone off the deep end."  
  
"Shut the fuck up!"  
  
"When did this even become official anyways?" Nolee inquired fully curious as her brown eyes glimmered in excitement. Kira shuffled on her feet while pretending to examine her nails.  
  
"Valentine's Day...after I had some Irish put into me." Kira confessed creating a mix of shock and anger to spread on Nolee's face.  
  
"Valentine's Day?! You've been together that long and you didn't tell me?! Also, ew." Nolee gasped offended.  
  
"I didn't tell you because I knew you would gloat! And it's not as if the realization had been easy for me. I still don't know how to feel about being committed to one person."  
  
"Connor finally got to you...and in you." Nolee replied awkwardly.  
  
"What can I say, the MacManus brothers are hard to resist."  
  
"Now that I can't argue with." Nolee agreed with a sigh. "Well...are you happy at least?" Nolee questioned softening her face to a smile.  
  
"I am..." Kira whispered looking down at her feet. "Connor's so different than any guy I've known...he's really sweet and charming too...by the far the best I've had in bed-"  
  
"OKAY." Nolee quickly interject. "I didn't need to know that, we can skip those details."  
  
"What? You told me about Murphy and your little moment on Christmas Eve." Kira reasoned taking slight offense.  
  
"That's because YOU wouldn't stop bugging me about it, I didn't freely volunteer that information if you recall. I don't need the mental images of you and Connor. But I'm really happy for you both."  
  
"Thanks bestie."  
  
"And you really don't mind about their new job? It...it doesn't bother you?" Nolee questioned in  shock.  
  
"I mean sure it was a bit shocking when Connor told me about it at first. But honestly...I think it's cool. I mean...the crime rate IS starting to get out of hand...and they're doing it for a good cause." Kira shrugged seemingly unaffected by it all unlike Nolee. "Is it really such a bad thing when you think about it?"  
  
"You don't worry they'll end up hurt somehow though?" Nolee whispered worriedly.  
  
"Call me crazy, but I have my faith in them. Besides, Boston could do without less mafia bullshit. I mean how bad can their vigilantism be anyways?"  
________  
  
*Outside the apartment*  
  
Connor had nimbly reached into his coat pocket to retrieve his lighter and cigarettes, lighting up two sicks and handing one to Rocco who took it gratefully.  
  
"Listen Roc, there's somethin' that's been botherin' me about last night." Connor began in thought.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What if your boss knew how many fellows were supposed ta be there?"  
  
"What-what are you sayin?" Rocco questioned unsure of what the spiky haired male was trying to imply.  
  
"Think about it Roc. Nine men, six bullets..."  
  
"You think they sold me out? No way man." Rocco protested unable to fathom his employers setting him up like that.  
  
"Listen he'd probably knew you'd end up nailing' ta fat guy, maybe one or two more but he had ta of known you weren't walkin' out of there. Figure it out, there's no in-depth investigation, shooter's dead at the scene. They'll just slide it off his fuckin' back. I mean Roc...as much as I love ye, ye not exactly Don Corleone." Connor reasoned putting the pieces together.  
  
"No, that's just not the thing of it." Rocco further rejected. "That's just not the way things are done. Besides, how does he know I just don't getin there, see there's too many of them, serve em' their food and get out of there."  
  
"Because he fuckin' knows ye Roc!" Connor replied in frustration.  He knows this is your big break." Any professional would've walked in there and noticed somethin' wasn't right and get ta fuck out of there."  
  
"No, no, you don't know what you're talking about. I mean thanks for your concern and all, but that  
just ain't the thing of it."  
  
"Yeah, fine. Do me a favor though, all right? Just ponder it a bit when ye go back ta Yakavetta."  
  
"No, nothing needs to be thought about."  
  
"Where ta fuck are ye goin?" Murphy suddenly appeared back to where the men were standing. "Did ye tell 'em?" Murphy asked to his twin, obviously sharing the same sentiments.  
  
"Of course I fuckin' told him." Connor replied in annoyance at the Italian's ignorance.  
  
"Then what ta fuck?" Murphy questioned to Roc in equal frustration.  
  
"Hey you guys don't know what shit for sure!"  
  
"Ye such a fuckin' retard!" Murphy snapped back.  
  
"Hey fuck you!"  
  
"Use ye fuckin' brain for once! Is it so unbelievable they don't fuckin' care about ye?!"  
  
"Oh and you two micks know what's going on right? Fuck you both." Rocco growled at both the twins.  
  
"Listen Roc this is not a thing you should gamble on all right!" Connor shouted angrily.  
  
"I'm the fuck out of here." Rocco retorted throwing his hands up, no longer wanting to continue the conversation.  
  
"Fine! Fuck it! What kind of flowers do ye want at your funeral ye dumb wop? It's the last time I'm gonna see ya!" Murphy replied shaking his head.  
  
"I'll be back sometime later," Rocco replied dismissively continuing to walk away.  
  
"When you go back there and start ta get a bad vibe, ye get ta fuck out quick!" Connor shouted after the Italian, anger going through him at how incredibly stupid Rocco could be. Murphy exhaled a deep breath before they had both headed back inside. Nolee and Kira were slightly startled by the door slamming closed, a visible pissed off Connor and Murphy walking in.  
  
"What's wrong?" Nolee questioned worriedly as Murphy approached her with a sigh, his hand rubbing her hip.  
  
"It's nothin' love, just Roc bein' a complete fuckin' idiot."  
______  
  
  
Anxiousness had lingered in the air as Connor and Murphy had waited around the apartment for any word of Rocco. A bad feeling had seemed to settle in their stomachs thinking about the Italian and his devotion to the Italian mafia. Nolee had also been able to suspect that whatever happened at the hotel was clearly made to set up Rocco as well, she bit her lip hoping nothing had to her favorite shaggy haired man either.  
  
"I'm sure he's okay Murphy." she whispered to the dark haired male seeing his fingers twitch impatiently, her stomach churning at seeing him so bothered. Her hand covered his and slowly his frustration began to diminish feeling her gentle touch.  
  
"I just don't want his dumb ass gettin' hurt because of those bastards. He might piss me off, but he's still me friend." Murphy whispered back not wanting to imagine the possibilities of Rocco getting further tied up into trouble, knowing how desperately Rocco had become trying to prove he was worth more than just a package boy. Nolee sighed caressing his tattooed finger knowing the term of loyalty had run strong in the brothers' blood. Briefly glancing over at Connor she could tell he was dealing with the same internal battle.  
  
The three adults had continue sit at the kitchen table waiting until suddenly their had been rapid knocking on their door, making all three jump up in their seats.  
  
"I killed them all oh jesus, I killed them all!" Rocco cried out making the three adults' eyes widen.  
  
"Just calm down!" Murphy and Connor had replied in unison. "What happened?"  
  
"NO!" Rocco shouted frantically.  
  
"What ta fuck is wrong with ye Roc?"  
  
"The motherfucker sold me out!" Rocco replied walking in circles while Connor and Murphy had shared a brief glance each other before Murphy diverted his gaze to Nolee. Unsure of what to do she looked at Murphy whose expression implied he would prefer if she didn't partake in the conversation.  
  
"I'll umm go check on Ruby." she softly said to him as he gave her a grateful smile before retreating to their bedroom.  
  
"Didn't I tell ye Roc? Did they pull on your first?" Connor questioned anxiously.  
  
"What am I doin'? In the middle of the Lakeview?" Rocco lamented instantly causing Connor's facial to stretch in bafflement.  
  
"Lakeview ta Deli, Roc?!" Connor gasped astonished Rocco would do such a thing in a public place.  
  
"Looks like we got us a new fuckin' recruit." Murphy chimed in half amused at the situation.  
  
"Those rat fucks! All of them we're laughin' at me man."  
  
"And ye sure ye killed them Roc?"  
  
"Fuckin A-right I did! I had a goddamn turkey shoot over there!" Rocco replied going on to explain how he went to confront two of Yakavetta's men at the deli. It was then very apparent Rocco had indeed been set up and how Vincenzo had made no effort to keep it a secret to the other men. Now aware of how little Rocco had been thought of and would not get the respect he had worked so hard to achieve,  he was unable to control his gust or rage. Pulling out the gun that had been in the trenchcoat Rocco had shot the men as well as the deli owner who even he had seemed to know about Rocco's set up.  
  
"Listen did anybody see ye Roc?" Connor questioned.  
  
"Man I might as well have gone around posting flyers, right out in public man!" Rocco replied aware in hindsight his actions to kill the men were very foolish to do in a public place.  
  
"Liberatin' innit?" Murphy smirked unable to help himself while Rocco shrugged before lifting his head up in thought.  
  
"You know...it is a bit."  
  
After Rocco had finally calmed down from his adrenaline rush, the three men began to talk about what needed to come next now that Rocco had ultimately decided to join them on their crusade.  
  
"Vincenzo!" Rocco shouted. "He's the one who set me up, then he went around telling everybody I was good as dead. He goes to the Sin Bin every night at 10:00 pm and jerks off on the same dancer."  
  
"Yeah so?" Murphy replied indifferent.  
  
"So? Let's kill the motherfucker! I mean that's your guys' new thing right?"  
  
"Yeah well..."  
  
"Oh what the hell! Who makes the cut, is there a raffle or something?"  
  
"Well ta tell ye ta truth those first sort of fell into our laps..." Murphy admitted referring to the Russians.  
  
"We haven't really got a system of decidin' who Roc."  
  
"ME!" Rocco replied eagerly. "I'm your guy! I know everyone! I know their habits, who they hang out with, who they talk to! I got phone numbers and addresses! We could kill everyone..." Rocco added as his eyes widen at the realization of the damage they could do to the mafia with his connections.  
  
"What do ye think?" Murphy asked his brother pondering the idea.  
  
"I'm strangely comfortable it." Connor answered honestly earning a grin from Rocco. A plan had then officially been made to stake out Vincenzo at the strip club later that night. The boys had been apprehensive at Rocco accompanying them, but ultimately they deemed it necessary in their goal to weed out the Yakavetta family.  
  
Nolee bit her lip seeing Connor and Murphy prepare their bags, knowing another mission was about to take place. Not sure how to feel knowing Rocco was now involved with his new distaste for the Italian mafia.  
  
"Where are you going now?" Nolee whispered appearing behind Murphy seeing him stiffen a bit as he turned around to face her.  
  
"It appears as if the Sin Bin could use our business."  
  
"Sin Bin...as in the strip club?" Nolee replied raising her eyebrow while tilting her head.  
  
"Aye lass, ye know we're not going there on our own accord. Roc's got a score ta settle." Murphy explained.  
  
"Well how do I know you won't end up getting persuaded into a lap dance by big fake boobied strippers?" Nolee reasoned childishly while Murphy rolled his eyes but faintly smirked.  
  
"Come on love, ye know me better than t'at. Besides...there's only one lass I'd like ta see strip and I'm lookin' at her right now." Murphy replied with a wink causing a blush to spread across her face.  
  
"Stop it." she warned softly.  
  
"Stop what?" Murphy asked smiling while approaching her.  
  
"Stop being charming I hate when you do that." _'Because I can never say no to you.'_  
  
"What do ever do ye mean lass?" Murphy egged her on as his face turned into a smoulder. Nolee's breathing hitched a bit staring into his face, his eyes always managing to pull her in like a magnet.  
  
"Damn you!" she cursed him unable to keep herself together making Murphy only smile victoriously.  
  
"Just admit it love, ye can't resist me. Ye never could." he liked to remind her often.  
  
"Yeah? Well...so." Nolee retorted crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Come here fun size." Murphy added pulling her into his arms. "I don't know when I'll be home, but don't stress okay?" he told her going back to being serious. He could see her face had gone back to frowning but didn't seem to object as his hand caressed her hip. Murphy appreciated she had been ultimately been supportive for the most part of him and Connor.  
  
"Okay..." she replied quietly, it was easier said than done. Hesitant to let him go off once again on their new hobby, Nolee thought about Kira's words earlier.  
  
 _"Call me crazy, but I have my faith in them. Besides, Boston could do without less mafia bullshit. I mean how bad can their vigilantism be anyways?"_ Deciding to abide by the taller girl's words Nolee held up her pinky, understanding this was their new life. Murphy had wrapped his own pinky around hers before kissing it.  
  
"I love ye little one."  
______  
  
Connor and Murphy lurked in the dark shadows of the alleyway scouting out the strip club waiting for Rocco to give the signal that Vincenzo had arrived. It didn't take long before a white car had slowly parked in front of entrance, an overdressed pompous Vincenzo exiting the car with an excited smirk.  
  
Once Rocco had given the brothers the signal to strike, Connor and Murphy gave a nod to one another as all three of the men swiftly made their way into Sin Bin without being detected through the back entrance that led to the "fun room" where paying customers had gotten a little more 'bang' for their buck. Slipping their black ski masks on the men searched further into the large room before they were spotted by a stripper. Letting out a surprised gasp Rocco had quickly grabbed the woman hostage putting a hand over her mouth.  
  
"You scream, you're dead! Now which one is he in, and don't make like you don't know who the fuck I'm talking about!" he shouted at the shaking stripper who whimpered under his grasp pointing a finger at the booth Vincenzo was in. Peeping into the little hole of the booth while still holding the stripper hostage Rocco scoffed in disgust.  
  
"Oh that is one sick motherfucker!" Rocco added keeping his gun aimed at the stripper to keep her silent while Rocco and Murphy had looked at each other before stepping up to the booth.  
  
 _'And shepherds we shall be. For Thee my Lord my Thee...'_  
  
Before Vincenzo had seen it 'coming' he was already on his way to meet his maker. The poor stripper had fainted from it all, her top ironically coming undone. Rocco's eyes had widen upon noticing a bare breast. Unable to help himself and the fact that Donna had been long gone leaving him lonely, Rocco's hand had slowly reached out to cup the mound. Connor and Murphy looked on at the Italian half amused.  
  
"What ta fuck are ye doin!" Connor yelled purposely with a slight smirk startling Rocco back to reality as he threw his hands up.  
  
"I'll tip her!"  
  
Having used silencers on their guns Connor and Murphy had managed to alert the other customers. Peeping into the holes of the other booths Connor grimaced at the men unabashedly pleasuring themselves.  
  
"It's like a scumbag yard sale in here." Connor noted.  
  
"We should come down here once a week and clean house." Murphy suggested equally disgusted more eager to eliminate the rest of the filth around them.  
  
"You guys gotta let me do these guys. I'm such a moron I gotta make up for that tit thing." Rocco offered.  
  
"There's no way Roc." Connor replied instantly rejecting his proposal.  
  
"Oh come on." Rocco begged.  
  
"Come on Con, give the guy his chance." Murphy chimed into his twin sympathetic to Rocco wanting to make his mark. Connor thought it over briefly before letting out a sigh before looking at Rocco.  
  
"It's ta real deal Roc. Evil men," he replied cocking his gun. "Dead men."  
________  
  
"Goodnight my sweet Ruby Hope." Nolee whispered as she placed the sleeping baby in her crib gently placing a kiss on her forehead. Carefully walking out the room to not wake Ruby up again Nolee swiftly exited the room like a ninja. Breathing a sigh of relief to have it made out undetected she made her way to the living room and her hands hand reached for the television remote. Anxiously she couldn't help but turn on the news, it seemed like that had become her nightly ritual now.  
  
 _"The victims were found at a local entertainment parlor. These murders, coupled with the three suspected mob-related killings that occurred at this local Boston deli earlier this afternoon, brings the death toll to six, just today. There is no doubt that all victims have been criminals. Perhaps this explains why a public outcry to have these crimes stopped...has not been heard."_  
Nolee sighed to herself as her mind thought about the brothers. She seemed to shock herself as a part of her couldn't help but feel satisfaction hearing about the men at the strip club getting eliminated. Her eyes widened in surprise at herself appearing to become more convinced at the justifiable vigilantism. The criminals were being taken of and so far it seemed as if Connor and Murphy were really succeeding here. Maybe they did have something legit going on, maybe just maybe Boston **would** become a better city to live in.  
  
Nolee bit her lip inevitably succumbing to supporting the brothers fully. Perhaps it really hadn't been such a bad thing Connor and Murphy were out there taking care of Boston's filth.  
  
But by now Nolee should've known...nothing comes without a price.  
_______  
  
  
*Somewhere across town*  
  
A disturbed Yakavetta paced around the room nervously. It obviously hadn't taken long for him to be informed about Vincenzo and his other men being gunned down at the deli. A weird feeling settled in his stomach as he couldn't help but think this was all related somehow all because of Rocco. Feeling as though it was time to seek out further advice, Yakavetta had made his way down the hall to a distracted Augustus Distephano. His attention had shifted to the younger man upon noticing his presence. A brief expression of annoyance spread across his face.  
  
"Fuck you." he told him knowingly as Yakavetta sighed.  
  
"Augustus, I need your help." Yakavetta explained to the retired elder. "I have a serious problem here. I am not screwing around." he added feeling his anxiousness rise as he knew there was only one solution to the shitstorm brewing around him. Yakavetta leaned in to Augustus with a mix of desperation and determination to bring forth the only person he knew they needed.  
  
"I need...Il Duce."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a handful of chapters of left, seeing as the timeline in the movie happened right after the other. I also didn't want this story to run on too long so I felt reaching almost 50 chaps would suffice lol.


	41. Tiger Stripes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why ye like ta bust my balls all ta time lass?"

Another morning had seem to arrive too quickly as Nolee was not sure the exact time she had managed to pass out after Ruby went to sleep, but the beaming in her window had been a surprise. Perhaps it had been some time after watching the news Nolee had tried to wait up for the boys to return home but the sleepiness had won the battle. Groggily sitting up from the bed Nolee looked to the other side of the bed.  
  
"Murphy?" she whispered tiredly waiting for a response. A small wave of panic had ran through her as she was only met with silence and an empty space. The wave of panic had faltered when she realized even though the bed was empty, the sheets on the other side were undone giving a sign that Murphy had indeed manage to make it home, hopefully unharmed.  
  
"Ruby?" she called out to other beloved realizing there had been no sound of a crying baby either. Checking Ruby's crib to find it also vacant, Nolee furrowed her eyebrows getting up from the bed yawning. It seemed her energy levels were back to dipping again causing her to sigh.  
  
"Guess it's time to go back to coffee." she spoke to herself. With everything going on with the boys as well as being a new mom, caffeine would be only the saving grace. As Nolee stretched her body out to get rid of the kinks the sound of loud music had caught her attention. Raising her eyebrow at the familiar tune she curiously walked out the bedroom to find the source. The sound had seemed to be coming from the kitchen as well as the smell of bacon frying wafted through the air, sounds of several fingers snapping had matched in time with the song. An amused grin had spread across her face to find Connor holding Ruby as him, Murphy, and Rocco began to sway along to the radio while they played with Ruby.  
  
_'I've got sunshine on a cloudy day_  
 _When it's cold outside I've got the month of May_  
 _Well I guess you'd say_  
 _What can make me feel this way?_  
 _My girl (my girl, my girl)_  
_Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)'_ all three had lip synced pointing their fingers at Ruby. Nolee stared on adoringly watching the three adults really get into the groove. Ruby seemingly calm and content looking up at them.  
_  
'I've got so much honey the bees envy me_  
 _I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees_  
 _Well I guess you'd say_  
 _What can make me feel this way?_  
 _My girl (my girl, my girl)_  
_Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl ooh)'_ A full blown show had been put on for the small girl watching three sarcastic men sing to a baby. Murphy and Rocco were now using spatulas as microphones with Murphy singing lead, Rocco being the backup. Nolee shook her head but continued to smile unable to imagine how her life would be like without her two Irishmen and hairy Italian. There was no doubt all three were protective of Ruby.

 _'Good luck trying to have a boyfriend with those three Ruby.'_ Nolee had thought causing a chuckle to escape her lips, making the three men's heads turn her way. Rocco and Connor had a small blush on their cheeks from being watched, whereas Murphy had swiftly pulled the small girl into his arms and spun her around once before suddenly dipping her making her gasp. Murphy had smiled supporting her back so she wouldn't fall in what was perceived to be a romantic gesture.  
  
_'I don't need no money, fortune, or fame (ooh hey hey hey)_  
 _I've got all the riches baby one man can claim (oh yes I do)_  
 _I guess you'd say_  
 _What can make me feel this way?_  
 _My girl (my girl, my girl)'_ Murphy had now sung to the girl who blushed immensely once again getting lost in his icy blues that stared back at her. Murphy smiled lightly brushing his lips against hers sending a shiver up her spine.   
  
"Oh for fuck's sake, get a room!" Connor shouted grimacing at the couple in annoyance. Murphy rolled his eyes in response to his twin flipping him the bird before helping Nolee back to her feet while she giggled. It was ironic to her how life had seemed semi normal with moments like these until nightfall would come and the boys would be off. Whether they would return to the meat packing plant any time soon seemed unclear. Despite the task of trying to keep things normal while balancing out the vigilantism might've seemed impossible, it was also moments like these that maybe just maybe...they could have the best of both worlds.  
___________

*Meanwhile*

 _"Rocco...this package boy...he could bring down the whole East Coast. If he decides to turn state's evidence, he could take us apart brick by brick.'_  
_"Listen kid I hope you know who you're dealing with, this guy is no slouch."_

_"When I was a boy you and papa used to speak of him like he was a ghost."_

_"Your father and I used him three times in 20 years-only when things got totally fucked. Whenever we need one of our own bumped off, we'd call him in. He had a thing for clippin' wise guys, but had one rule: no women or children. Believe me kid, you don't want this guy unless you're 100% sure you'll need him.'_

The sound of large shackles rattling through the air through the air as heavily armed officers escorted the man who was bound. Nervously the officers eyes had studied him making sure he had not dared to make any sudden movements. Fully aware of what he had done previously, and what he could still be capable of. Curiosity had plagued the haggard man not having seen this side of the prison in almost 25 years. The curiosity had shifted to indifference when he was placed in front of a panel. What would've been a lengthy process otherwise, magically the panel had quickly looked over the file before the large stamp had been pushed down onto it.

"Prisoner 6570534... as of today you are being granted parole."  
_______

 

After breakfast had been made thanks to the brothers complete with routine morning insults and brotherly slaps to the head, slaps to Rocco's head, Nolee had taken Ruby back to the bedroom to nurse in private. Rocco's eyes had studied the bedroom door until it was fully shut before he turned his head back to the brothers.

"All right, let's talk business here." Rocco announced feeling it was better the girl had not been around.

"I know a sick fuck who makes the ones we been doin' look like altar boys. Worst night of my life when I met this guy."

_*Rocco's flashback*_

Rocco's eyes had nervously shifted watching the man in a trenchcoat and hat enter the lime green vehicle. Donning sunglasses he seemed to radiate a sinisterness that sent a shiver up Rocco's spine. The man in the trench coat had not spoken a single word the entire 25 minute drive. Rocco felt his uneasiness continue at not hearing even a damn sigh or throat clearing, just utter silence. Approaching a large house Rocco had been instructed to drive to beforehand, both men had exited the vehicle. Rocco's eyes curiously watched the man enter the house while he remained by the vehicle. It wasn't long before the sound of many many many gunshots began to go off. Rocco's hands had twitched lighting a cigarette to distract himself of knowing who exactly had been inside the house.

When the gunshots had finally seized Rocco looked up to see the man exiting the house. Still being met with silence Rocco knew it was imperative he had put his own feelings aside and composed himself, chances are it wouldn't end well for him if he didn't. Following the man in the trenchcoat to a large trash can in the nearby alleyway, the man had only thrown in the piece of blood stained carpet he had cut out tossing it inside. Dousing the carpet in gasoline, the man then reached for the box of  matches inside his pocket, his fingers expertly striking a match before tossing it in last. As the flames quickly started inside a sour feeling settled into Rocco's stomach watching the flames rise where the man in the trenchcoat had only looked on. A mix of disgust ran through Rocco that despite the man wearing sunglasses, his body language had expressed exuberance.

"His face, blank man...just nothin' there. This guy takes out a whole family: wife, kids, everyone and doesn't bat one fucking eyelash. I knew if I didn't keep it together, it was my ass." Rocco explained with a sigh as his eyes temporarily shut, clearly still affected by it all.

"He has a poker game out back of his place with a bunch of wise guys every Saturday. Worst day of my life, man." Rocco lamented as his eyes became fixated on the kitchen table.

"Well, I'm sold." Murphy replied without missing a beat, slightly interested at having a new target to be sought out. Rocco's eyes had slowly lifted from the table to glance at Murphy in relief, Connor had seemed to share the view of course.

"Don't worry Roc. We'll do this guy right, and you'll feel a lot better."  
_____

*The next day*

A new plan had been devised between the three men temporarily giving Rocco peace of mind. A small feeling of accomplishment couldn't help but be felt on his part. At not only being apart of something purposeful thanks in large part to Connor and Murphy, it was also the chance to extract an overdue revenge he had secretly harbored. Feeling confident that there recent missions had been stealthy, perhaps it was time to delve deeper to the true bastards who deserved it. This was the chance for all three men to really make a difference and get some justice. Pouring the dark liquid into his mug Rocco let out a calm sigh watching Connor and Murphy prepare their bags yet again for what they would need later. Reaching into the fridge absentmindedly Rocco pulled out the milk and poured a splash into his coffee.

"Morning boys." Nolee yawned walking into the kitchen holding Ruby.

"Mornin.' all three men had replied in unison. Nolee smiled as she made her to the fridge and furrowed her eyebrows at not finding what she needed.

"Uhh guys...has anyone seen Ruby's milk?" Nolee questioned confused confident she placed the milk she pumped into the fridge the night before, unaware of the slightly nauseous expression that had spread across the Italian's face.

"Ye mean ta milk Rocco just poured into his fuckin' coffee?" Murphy mused easily spotting the container on the counter causing Nolee's eyes to widen.

"You...mean...the milk...was..." Rocco whispered looking down at his coffee horrified.

"Congrats Roc, ye just drank titty milk." Connor added with own his sardonic grin watching the Italian further become nauseous.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Rocco gasped running off into the direction of the bathroom while the brothers erupted into a giggle fit.

"What a dumb shit!"

"Rocco drank breast milk!"

"Connor, Murphy..." Nolee warned the brothers but couldn't help but crack a smile herself in amusement. Hearing the Italian vomit in the bathroom nearby only added more fuel to the laughing fire. When Rocco had managed to finally stop throwing up (which took a while) the men were once again prepared to put their plan in motion. Seeing the black bags on the table naturally started up the anxiousness in the small girl.

"I hate when ye give t'at look." Murphy told her gently noting her now indifferent expression she always seemed to display before they left.

"Well what do you expect?" she whispered in response. "Just cause I've gotten used to the idea somewhat, I'm still going to worry."

"I know." Murphy sighed. "But we've been consistent so far yea? This will be no different love."

"It just takes one time Murphy-"

"It won't." Murphy quickly interjected cupping her chin. "We got this one in ta bag, and from what Rocco has told us it sounds like a particular fella needs some of our TLC. This guy...he deserves it lass, trust me." Murphy explained firmly as Nolee watched his face harden, not sure if she wanted to know any more info about their soon to be target.

"Well...think you'll be back in time for dinner? I'm making you and Connor's favorite, lasagna and caesar salad." Nolee replied in an attempt to change the subject.

"Now t'at ye know we wouldn't miss." Murphy replied with an enthusiastic smile.

"Good." was all she had responded with. "Cause if you don't, I'm giving your piece to David Meowie."

"Oh not t'at little fucker, he don't deserve it!" Murphy replied angrily at the thought.

"Still mad he bit your ass Murphy?" Nolee replied in amusement recalling the day they moved in the new apartment finding the neighbor's large orange tabby cat by their door. Naturally Murphy felt inclined to pet the seemingly innocent feline, who in fact did not like other humans. Murphy found out the hard way by David Meowie going into attack mode and giving the Irishman a swift bite to the rear.

"He's a little shit is what he is, and ye better not give him my fuckin' lasagna." Murphy retorted still holding a grudge about it.

"I won't, as long as you come home." she countered with a small smirk.

"Why ye like ta bust my balls all ta time lass?"

"Cause it's my job." Nolee answered sweetly as Murphy rolled his eyes but kissed her.

"Ye get on me nerves sometimes...but I wouldn't want it any other way."  
______

All three men sat anxiously in the dark van parked close to their destination. Connor and Rocco had loaded the ammunition as Murphy kept watch in the driver's seat. Anticipation running through him seeing the young kid exit the house and get on his bicycle. Knowing they were now good to carry out their course of action, Murphy turned his head towards the other two men.

"There he goes." he assured signaling the other two to grab their weapons. Quickly exiting the van all the three men made their way to the garage of the large house looking around to make sure no other witnesses were present, having known the garage was left open when the child would take his bike out made it all that much easier. Unfortunately they were still left with the task of the intended target's wife who was essentially the gatekeeper. Connor and Murphy were not keen on having to bring a woman into it, but it was necessary to get the code of the target's hideout.

Bounding the woman's hands Rocco had taped her wife to keep her silent. Forcing her outside to the backyard where a smaller unit stood Rocco pushed her towards the coded door that could be only opened from the inside.

"I will kill you lady!" Rocco threatened causing the small woman to whimper.

"Don't, her hands are taped." Connor scolded causing Rocco to sigh and as Murphy used his knife to cut the tape around the woman's hands allowing her to enter the code.

"Man why do I always have to be on bitch detail?" he retorted before he had swiftly used a stun gun on the woman to temporarily knock her out. All three men had prepared themselves and their guns as the door had opened. Bursting their way through several of the men inside drinking and playing pool had been taken by surprise.

"All of 'em." were the only words Rocco had spoken before they had unleashed their wrath of bullets. The surprised men had manage draw their own guns but to no avail getting shot in the process. Two men had lunged under the pool table to escape the gunfire but Rocco had quickly countered them by getting on his knees to fire at a lower angle and shooting them as well. A small wave of panic had gone through Rocco upon realizing none of the men they just took out had been their intended target.

"Shit! Shit! He ain't here!"

"Oh what ta fuck ye mean he isn't here?!" Murphy shouted.

"I mean he ain't here!"

"Well look again for fuck's sake!" Connor chimed in.

"I know what the fuck he looks like!" Rocco argued in annoyance unaware of the door behind him opening.

"Look behind ye!" Murphy warned as the familiar man in the trenchcoat was now at the bathroom coatless holding a weapon of his own. Rocco had swiftly shot the man in the abdomen who only swung his weapon down at Rocco's hand causing him to drop his gun.

"Ahh son of a bitch!" Rocco cursed shaking his wounded hand coming face to face with their target who immediately seem to recognize Rocco.

"Oh shit!" Rocco yelled making a run for it as the man chased behind him swiftly grabbing onto Rocco's coat while Murphy jumped on top of the man.

"Shoot this motherfucker!" Rocco yelled in a panic.

"No let ta fuckin' bloke go!" Connor challenged at his twin. "Now's your chance ta earn ye stripes, Roc!"

"He'll fuckin' get killed!" Murphy reasoned.

"It was ye idea to bring him in with us!" Connor countered. "Here's your chance Roc! You take that man!"

"I don't wanna die!" Rocco whined struggling under the man's tight grasp now around his neck. Murphy had grabbed the solid white ball off the table nearby rolling it to where Rocco laid on the ground. Rocco gasped as he grabbed the ball and managed to push the man off him causing him to fall back on the couch. Rocco wasted no time jumping on the man and swinging towards his face harshly.

"Sick fuck! Sick fuck!" Rocco yelled repeating his swinging action until the white ball had now turned red. When the man no longer moved Rocco jumped off him redirecting his adrenaline towards the spiky haired male.

"Fuck you! You fuckin'-" he began to lunge at Connor who swiftly threw Rocco onto the pool table.

"Now take a fuckin' deep breath there Roc, ye did fine! It was nicely done." Connor retorted to the Italian not apologetic for making him hold his own this time.

Coming down from his high a small smile of satisfaction spread across Rocco's face. Having managed to take out all the men in a timely manner and sending the men on a proper journey to meet their maker, Connor and Murphy knew they were all set to leave the premises undetected. Feeling satisfied at a job well done the men gathered their bags and began to make their way back into the house towards the front door.

As Rocco had opened the door, the satisfaction in all three men had quickly vanished upon realizing who was waiting for them outside.


	42. Slip Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She's gonna be so pissed."

A mix of shock and adrenaline ran through each of the men as they stared ahead of them. Completely blindsided at the man dressed in all black with a matching black hat and sunglasses. The only part of his face visible being the gray and white facial hair while he casually smoked a cigar equally staring down the men. Connor and Murphy's senses becoming immediately aware that whoever he was he had not come to stand on their side.  
  
Both opposing parties had drawn their guns in sync, the brothers' eyes had widen to see the man open his trenchcoat revealing the six guns strapped to him ready to fire. Each set of hands cocking their guns as there had been no time for hesitation. Suddenly thrown into a gauntlet of gunfire the man in the trenchcoat began to skillfully aim towards Rocco and the brothers.  
  
Connor and Murphy's yells had wafted through air along with the gunsmoke, clicking the trigger of their guns mercilessly at their target. The man in in black was clearly not an amateur the way he would reload his weapons in record time not missing a beat. Rocco's shouts had also been heard when he felt a painful sensation begin at his hand. Falling to the ground Connor and Murphy picked up the slack defending each other and still firing away.  
  
"You son of a bitch!" Rocco yelled now firing his gun in his non-dominant hand as blood had leaked out from the other. Murphy was the next victim to feel pain start at his arm sending him crashing to the ground leaving Connor the only one standing. The man relentlessly reloaded his ammo focusing his aims on Connor. Connor had been the last to cry out when a bullet struck his leg temporarily stunning him but not enough to send him down. Still managing to hold his own Connor fired back causing a bullet to strike the older man's forearm. The cigar had remained perfectly intact inside the older man's mouth with his last attempt to stand off with Connor. Realizing he would not be able to get the upper hand the man had swiftly ended his gunfire and ran off.  
  
"Murph, are you all right?!" Connor shouted in a panic at his twin being injured. In one last fit of rage Murphy had gathered his strength to fire his gun off once more at the escaping man.  
  
"Roc, get the fuckin' bag!" Connor had now directed his frustration to Rocco who remained on the ground.  
  
"Christ! Get ta blood, get ta blood!" Murphy yelled realizing the various red stains that belonged to them on the house's exterior behind him.  
  
"What ta fuck was that?!" Connor yelled stunned at what just occurred quickly grabbing a can of ammonia out of the black bag to coat over their blood and take away any traces of their DNA.  
  
"He shot my fuckin' finger off!" Rocco replied in shock observing the missing flesh of his pinky finger.  
  
"Get ta fuck out of here Roc!" Connor countered in anger at the Italian becoming useless at this point.  
  
"Motherfucker!" Murphy shouted out loud. "Get ta fuckin' bag Roc!" he demanded at the Italian once more.  
  
"My fuckin' finger!" Rocco whimpered looking around for the shot off piece of flesh but to no avail as Connor and Murphy had quickly covered their traces and ushered Rocco away from the disaster that just happened. Angry at having zero idea at who just ambushed them the brothers slammed the door of the van.  
  
"What ta fuck just happened!"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
"What do we do now?!" Murphy questioned cluelessly. Clearly all three men had sustained injuries that needed tending to. Unsure if they should return home to Nolee was and risk upsetting her, Murphy knew their was a high chance she would deliver more pain to him than what he currently felt in his wounded arm. Also not sure if she could even handle seeing them injured in the first place, Murphy turned to his brother for a solution.  
  
"We can't go home just yet, Nolee will murder us as well."  
  
"Well then where should we fuckin' go?!" Connor shouted too amped up, something was clearly not fucking right.  
  
"Relax," Rocco chimed in shakily at the spiky haired male. "I...I know a safehouse."  
__________  
  
  
Several officers and detectives quickly arrived a what appeared to be a massacre. Checking each and every detail of the house a frustrated Agent Smecker had looked on. In all his career he had never seen such crimes taking place in Boston, crimes that have been cold crimes especially. Having been skilled in his field Agent Smecker could clearly see the connections being made in each hit. What stumped him the most was how each of these hits seemed to be targeted at criminals and no one else. Frustrated at not being able to pin point the exact suspects responsible for the recent retaliations, Agent Smecker ran a hand through his disheveled hair.  
  
They were not dealing with amateurs here it seemed, whoever was doing this was well calculated and concise, they were also clearly skilled in weaponry to an extent. The plaza, the deli, the strip club, and now a house massacre all seemed to have the same theme. A message was clearly being made, especially with the involvement of the Italian mafia. Something big was happening in front of their eyes that made Agent Smecker uneasy. It also didn't help his fellow detectives weren't exactly knowledgeable about shootouts apparently.  
  
"What is taking so long with the blood samples?" Agent Smecker demanded to Rosa who had been observing the blood stains on the wall. Unable to hide the fact that these recent fiascos had been a blow to the agent's ego, he stomped his way over to where the young woman in a lab coat was at.  
  
"I can't get a good sample." Rosa explained causing a groan from the agent. "There's a variable I'm not seeing here." she added as Agent Smecker leaned in for a closer look. A distinct smell wafted through the seasoned agent's nose as his eyes widened. Sniffing the stains on the wall it quickly became apparent what the problem reigniting the anger bubbling inside him.  
  
"They used ammonia!" he gasped in incredulously. "None of these samples are any good, fuck!" he seethed making the other detectives wince. "You know what that means? Even if we get suspects in the case, we got nothing! Nothing!" Agent Smecker added in rage hitting the closest thing in reach which was the bushes in front of the house.  
  
"Who the fuck are they! I've never seen any fucking thing like this in my life!" he continued to seethe, there had been to an answer, there had to be suspects here, all of this was no damn coincidence. Falling onto his knees to compose his thoughts. A small item had caught his attention causing him to reach inside his pocket and pull out a pair of latex gloves. Carefully reaching for the light colored item Agent Smecker was in disbelief to realize he had been holding a pinky finger.  
_________  
  
  
"Who ta fuck was he Roc, I know ye fuckin' know so don't even start." Connor accused of the Italian who shot a glare in return upon entering the safehouse.  
  
"Fuck you! I told you I've never seen him before!" Rocco shouted taking offense at the Irishman.  
  
"Well he sure as fuck knew you!" Murphy protested sensing whoever had just ambushed them all clearly had to have a connection with the Italian, there was no other way anyone else could've known about their plan.  
  
"Fuck you both!" Rocco shouted at the twins as all three men had now entered a heated screaming match throwing blame. Once they had hashed their out their anger and frustrations the men knew they needed to tend their wounds immediately. Not wanting to risk attracting attention from the local emergency room or authorities, they knew they had no other choice but to cauterize their wounds themselves. Heating up the iron from the safehouse on the stove, all three men had prepared for the inevitable pain that would come next. That was the price of vigilantism: if you got injured, you were shit out of luck. There could be no assistance from cops or hospitals obviously. You put up, shut up, and stitch yourself up.  
  
Murphy was the first to go as Connor placed a rolled up bandana in his mouth for him to bite down on. Murphy's fists had clenched and eyes nervously closing while Connor grabbed the now scorching iron off the stove.  
  
"Bite down." Connor whispered as Murphy shut his eyes and obeyed, a muffled scream caught underneath the bandana as the iron was placed onto Murphy's forearm. Murphy felt his eyes tear up at the singing of his flesh his body beginning to trash as Rocco pinned him down to keep him steady, his twin wincing at being able to feel his brother's pain. When Murphy's wound had been tended to they moved on to Rocco's pinky and repeated the entire process as the Italian had now been the one to scream in pain.  
  
Connor was the last to get cauterized as Murphy had now been the one to hold the bandana and Rocco do the burning. Connor grabbed onto Murphy's shoulder when the iron was placed on his leg. Both twins having no other choice but to endure it and try to comfort each other. The cauterizing had finally been finished and it took several shots of alcohol before all three men began to feel a little relief of their new wounds; also to deal with the smell of burnt flesh and blood permeating in the air.  
  
"She's gonna be so pissed." Murphy whispered to himself observing his arm wondering how the hell he would hide his wound from Nolee. He still wasn't sure how they'd tell the small girl what had all occurred, but either way they sliced it they knew she wasn't going to be happy regardless. They had slipped up and ended up injured. Flicking through the channels of the small tv to distract themselves, Connor's body tensed when he had reached the news station. An Agent Smecker was being interviewed in regards to what took place earlier.  
  
"I'm confident the investigation will end in the apprehension of the suspects."  
  
"Fucking hell. It's him." Connor noted recognizing the man in the tan colored suit.  
  
"What, that guy?" Rocco questioned confused.  
  
"That's ta guy who got us off the hook with the Checkov thing."  
  
"And he's one smart man." Connor added.  
  
"Ahh, they got nothin.' Rocco countered dismissively that they would be outed.  
  
"Well, this guy is very sharp. If he hasn't figured us out yet, he will." Connor shot back nervously feeling as if their ventures might possibly be coming to an end. Their quest for justice was seemingly taking unexpected turns, somewhere along the way something had gone wrong despite their best efforts.  
  
"Ye bet ye ass he will." Murphy had chimed in agreement with his twin.  
  
"Well I guess that makes him a lia-fuckin-bility." Rocco reasoned.  
  
"He isn't ta be touched." Connor warned at the Italian without missing a beat.  
  
"He's a good man Roc." Murphy chimed in once more only causing the Italian to roll his eyes and take another swig of alcohol indifferent.  
  
"Okay, whatever."  
_______________  
  
  
The sound of classical music had filled the air of the small white room while a calm Agent Smecker had been at work. Feeling more optimistic after this afternoon's shitstorm, he placed the lit cigarette in the designated ash tray before carefully picking up the small piece of potential evidence. Unapologetically deciding to an independent investigation, the agent was determined to figure this out on his own without his useless partners. Dabbing the finger in the ink pad and onto the piece of paper, Smecker had then placed the paper inside the scanner to be analyzed. An expression of confusion had etched onto the eccentric agent's face.  
  
"No that's all wrong..." he whispered out loud at the images that had turned up on the computer screen.  
  
"David Della..." he trailed off as his mind had began to put the pieces together. His sharp memory recognizing a particular shaggy haired man somehow. His mind had thought back all the way to the day the Russian mess had been made and the attention it caused by the media. Agent Smecker's eyebrow had raised when it all seemed to connect. A part of him in disbelief at who could be responsible, but Agent Smecker knew the only way to be sure.  
  
He knew just who needed to see.  
  
_______________  
  
  
"Mmm...it smells so good doesn't it Ruby? Don't worry you'll be able to try solid foods one day." Nolee teased to the baby in her bouncer as she carefully pulled out the lasagna. The hearty smell had instantly made her stomach grumble and she knew the brothers would be equally pleased. Having made the caesar salad Nolee was pleased the lasagna had turned out equally perfect.  
  
"Your dad and uncle are going to be happy." she added with a smile hoping the brothers would be returning soon. Murphy having had called her briefly earlier in the afternoon she felt hopeful they were okay this time. As she placed the lasagna on the stove a distinct knock had erupted from the door. Raising her eyebrow slightly a smile still spread across her face as she figured it had to have been the brothers messing with her.  
  
"You guys are silly...Agent Smecker...?" she whispered in shock finding the familiar slender charismatic man standing in her doorstep who only offered a faint smile.  
  
"We meet again, Miss Wade."  
  



	43. Ethics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I guess your guys' power of persuasion is finally starting to rub off on me."

"What do I owe the pleasure Agent Smecker?" Nolee replied nervously.  
  
"Oh, I was in the neighborhood and heard you moved. Thought I drop by and say hello." Agent Smecker mused and the sarcasm was not missed by the smaller girl who's stomach began to churn. "I think we both know why I'm here Miss Wade."  
  
"Is this about Foster?" Nolee questioned worriedly having almost forgot about the other man that aided in her life potentially being ruined. There hadn't been any other word about him since Tristan had come to her old apartment and Nolee had assumed perhaps he had gotten word of what happened to Tristan and disappeared.  
  
"How about I come inside and I can explain?" Agent Smecker replied gently as Nolee hesitantly let him inside the apartment. Agent Smecker smiled at her kindly before observing the new surroundings seemingly pleased.  
  
"Looks like you got an upgrade, I presume it's a lot better for the little one yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry to be frank Agent Smecker, but you can please just tell me why you're here already?" Nolee interjected fidgeting her fingers. "Has Foster come back?" she questioned once more fearing the worst as Agent Smecker chuckled slightly raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Actually, I'm here due to three other criminals that seem to be at large lately... ironically two of which you happen to live with." Agent Smecker answered casually causing shivers to run down Nolee's spine and heartbeat to increase.  
  
"I-I don't know what you're talking about..." she replied calmly despite her body beginning to shake.  
  
"Miss Wade, I think it's fairly obvious by now this isn't my first rodeo. I've been in this field a long time and not to toot my own horn, but I'm very skilled at what I do. It is in your and the MacManus brothers' best interest that you don't attempt to lie to me right now, unless you'd like to be charged as an accomplice." Agent Smecker reasoned with a firmness to his voice as his light eyes stared at her intently. Nolee's hands had begun to sweat while figuring out how she'd get out of this one.  
  
"I'm not involved with anything, you can't charge me." she insisted truthfully.  
  
"Perhaps not, but you _can_ be charged with harboring fugitives. I'm aware that MacManus brothers are responsible for the recent acts of violence that have occured, as well as their companion David Della Rocco. They've been targeting criminals all over Boston and taking matters into their own hands it seems. Like I said before I've been in this field a long time, but never have I seen such careful planning as this. I admit the MacManus brothers had us on a goose chase for quite a while, they're even more intelligent than I originally thought." Agent Smecker explained causing the small girls' eyes to widen.  
  
"The crimes that have been committed all seemed to have similar patterns. The victims seemingly involved in illegal activities coincidentally. Although the brothers and Mr. Rocco managed to cover their tracks pretty well, they had a little slip up. After the shootout that occured in a residential area this afternoon and unable to test the blood left behind, there seemed to be a little piece of evidence still. I've concluded the finger left at the scene is indeed the DNA of Mr. Rocco, and if my memory serves me correctly I can tie him to being associated with Connor and Murphy the day they came into the station. Looking back on all this now, I find it a little too coincidental that these chain of events happened after the mishaps with the group of Russians the MacManus brothers encountered."  
  
"What does this have to do with me...?" she whispered uneasily.  
  
"I'm assuming you have some knowledge of their planning and I'm simply curious Miss Wade, is this some quest for revenge? Is it possible what happened with the Russians sparked an idea of vigilantism on the brothers' part?" Agent Smecker questioned rhetorically already having known the answer. Nolee shivered once more realizing Agent Smecker was in fact the real deal, his intelligence was unlike anything she'd ever seen. A twisting sensation had started in her stomach wondering what this meant for Connor and Murphy now that they had been found out, there clearly was no other way around it now.  
  
"A-are you going to put them in prison?"  
  
"Technically what they've done qualifies for prison time, even if they only sought out bad guys Miss Wade."  
  
"Please don't." she begged feeling tears build in the corner of her eyes aching at the visual of the brothers behind metal bars. "They aren't trying to hurt anyone else, no one else has stepped up to the plate to help with the thugs of Boston. They're the ones killing actual innocent people every day, what about them? You arrest them sure, but all they do is bail themselves out with their money and then they're free to walk away. Where's the justice there?" Nolee questioned.  
  
"Miss Wade, I understand where you're coming from but the fact is the MacManus brothers have committed serious crimes here."  
  
"Crimes that would help the community. I know what they've done is a crass way to get their point across...but criminals get to use loopholes all the time. It's obvious how bad the crime rate has gotten Agent Smecker, the citizens of Boston can see that. Clearly whatever is being done on your end is not helping, no offense. Haven't you noticed that since the guys have started this, the citizens have been unusually quiet? People are starting to feel safer, the message is slowly being spread. As someone who's dealt with evil people this shouldn't be a question of legalities, but it should be about ethics. Tell me Agent Smecker, as a person who is supposed to uphold the highest standard of the law, don't you think deep down that what is being is done is somewhat necessary? Connor and Murphy may be  ruling with an iron fist, but in this day and age something extreme needs to happen in order to make change." Nolee reasoned softly knowing damn well she just talked completely out of her ass. Knowing it might've been foolish to try and justify their actions, Nolee felt there had been no other choice at this point to help the brothers any way she could.  
  
Despite her bullshitting she could see something change in Agent Smecker. The sternness in his face was slowly softening as if she'd unlock something inside of him he hadn't noticed before. His light eyes had studied the small girl carefully as she began to fear her rambling might've just made things even worse.  
  
"You know Miss Wade...you're right." Agent Smecker whispered.  
  
"I...am...?" Nolee replied in shock.  
  
"I'd be lying if I didn't agree that the system is completely flawed. All the things I secretly I wish I could do...the brothers are doing it. When I took an oath to protect the citizens of Boston, I promised I would honor that. But lately I'm ashamed to say I haven't been able to uphold that, you helped me see that."  
  
"I did?" Nolee asked still surprised.  
  
"Yes you did. But you know for a fact that the brothers wouldn't harm innocent people?"  
  
"Connor and Murphy would never Agent Smecker." Nolee whispered. "Everything they do is with good intentions. They only want to help Boston, I promise you that. They're only after people who truly deserve it." Nolee assured figure it was best to milk the situation as much as she could. Agent Smecker had contemplated the problem a final time before giving the small girl a curt nod.  
  
"Then I'll stand behind the brothers, I will help them." he declared calmly.  
  
"Really?" Nolee gasped in relief at the brothers not being potentially put in prison.  
  
"Maybe their ways of doing things aren't morally right, but like you said Miss Wade it's about ethics." Agent Smecker admitted.  
  
"T-thank you Agent Smecker, thank you." Nolee whispered gratefully.  
  
"No, thank you Miss Wade. I'll see what I can do from my end to help Connor and Murphy. Until then, I need things to be calm right now. If the brothers are moving forward with any major plans, I would like to know about it."  
  
"Okay." Nolee nodded in compliance.  
  
"I'll be in touch soon, have a good evening."  
  
"Goodbye Agent Smecker."  Nolee kindly bid her farewell as the slender man exited the apartment swiftly. Still unable to believe she pulled that off her eyes switched to Ruby who was fast asleep in her bouncer. A deep exhale of breath had left the small girl's lips thinking about her beloved Irishmen, there was no doubt that when it really came down to it she'd do anything to protect them.  
  
"Oh they owe me so fucking much for this."  
_____  
  
  
It wasn't much longer before the three men had finally decided to return the apartment, unaware they had narrowly missed an Agent Smecker in their very own apartment. Hearing their unmistakable voices and the door open, Nolee leapt off the couch to meet them halfway.  
  
"Hey love." Murphy told her softly while she had only jumped into his arms surprising him, Murphy's body tilting backwards some.  
  
"I'm so happy you're back." she replied in relief.  
  
"Ouch lass, easy on ta arm." Murphy winced as he slowly put her back onto her feet. Nolee's eyes had immediately lowered down to the crimson stained tourniquet wrapped around his forearm with concern filling her brown eyes.  
  
"What happened?" she demanded turning her gaze to other two men and noticing their bandages. "Connor, Murphy, answers. Now."  
  
"Some unforeseen circumstances happened after our hit." Murphy admitted mentally preparing himself for the possible blow up that would erupt from the small girl. "We're okay though we promise." he quickly assured when he noting the stiff body language she now had.  
  
"Well good,  because we got bigger issues now." Nolee replied turning her attention back to Murphy.  
  
"What happened?" the dark haired male questioned fiercely.  
  
"Agent Smecker came by to talk to me...he knows it's you guys behind all this." Nolee explained meekly.  
  
"Fuck!" Connor hissed. "I fuckin' told ye!"  
  
"What did he say?" Murphy pressed on nervously.  
  
"He was able to put together all the pieces of your hits, he knows it all started after the incident with the Russians. He found Rocco's finger left behind at the scene apparently." she explained, briefly glancing at the Italian with narrowed eyes.  
  
"Damn it! That's where it went." Rocco lamented unaffected by the gravity of the situation.  
  
"Shut up Roc, as ye can we're fucked here." Connor angrily snapped at the Italian.  
  
"Relax Connor...after speaking with him briefly, I convinced him to join your side. He's willing to help you." Nolee assured as all three men's eyes had widened in shock.  
  
"How ta fuck did ye do t'at?" Murphy gasped incredulously.  
  
"I guess your guys' power of persuasion is finally starting to rub off on me." Nolee shrugged in response as all three men looked at each other with shock but mostly relief.  
  
"Fuck! What did I do right ta deserve ye?" Murphy replied pulling the small girl in for a big kiss. "I'm fuckin' proud of ye, and a bit turned on as well." he noted furrowing his brows.  
  
"Nice try at the sweet talk Murphy, but that won't make me forget you all got injured today. Now tell me what the fuck happened today, NOW."  
  
"Christ, okay lass just don't kill us okay?"  
  
"No promises Connor."  
  
The three men had then sat Nolee down and explained to her how their hit had seemed to be going well despite Rocco fucking up like usual, they still managed to eliminate the men in the backhouse. Even going so far as to allow Rocco to have a shot at some glory, they then elaborated at how the plan had suddenly went south by a man waiting for them out front and ambushed them.  
  
"And you have no idea who this old man is?" Nolee whispered worriedly.  
  
"Not a damn clue." Murphy admitted.  
  
"Well aren't you afraid he's going to to come after you guys again? I mean he already managed to find you guys once, what if...what if he actually succeeds in his hit next time?" she questioned fearfully.  
  
"Ta old man isn't our priority right now." Connor explained immediately causing the small girl's to have an expression eerily similar to the cinnamon roll incident.  
  
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" she shouted in astonishment making the men wince. "How far exactly are you all trying to go here? You almost fucking died today, don't you think you should take it easy for now?!"  
  
"We can't afford ta slow down now Nolee, now that things have heated up." Murphy whispered in admission. Not having the energy to argue with the brothers, the small girl had only glanced at each of the men in disappointment before shaking her head and getting up to walk away. Guilt had radiated between the adults knowing they had upset her greatly.  
  
"I'll go talk ta her..." Murphy declared before getting up from his own seat to head to their bedroom. Slowly opening the door he could see her standing by the window staring outside to calm herself. Using the arm that wasn't wounded he wrapped it around her waist pulling her against his chest.  
  
"We didn't know we'd get blindsided like t'at."  
  
"I told you before Murphy it just takes one time." she whispered back keeping her gaze on the window.  
  
"I know...and I admit things haven't worked out exactly ta way we had hoped."  
  
"You think?" she quickly retorted hearing him sigh.  
  
"Nolee..."  
  
"I'm sorry..." she apologized quietly. "I just...if something had happened to you today...I wouldn't know what to do. I don't want to know what it would feel like to lose you three." she whispered painfully. "I don't know if I can continue to watch you go on like this."  
  
"We're still here love." he assured internally feeling guilty knowing he had put her in this position.  
  
"Murphy, what if...what if you're starting to tread too deep now? Are you sure you really want to keep going?" she questioned feeling her previous support for them slowly diminishing upon realizing how severe today had gone. Seeing the wounds on their bodies had brought her back to reality, she couldn't bare to imagine what other injuries they would possibly sustain in the future.  
  
"We don't have a choice Nolee." Murphy reiterated with another sigh. "If our suspicions are correct, we think ta old man might have something ta do with Yakavetta, he's ta one we need ta keep our focus on. T'at bastard needs ta be taken care of once and for all. Ta Italian and Russian mafias are both equally ruthless in Boston, but ta Italians run more shit around here."  
  
"Murphy..." Nolee had started as the Irishman swiftly turned her around to face him.  
  
"If we succeed at gettin' Yakavetta...we'll slow down things okay?" Murphy conceived letting her know the tone in his voice had been sincere. "We'll lay low for a while, no hits." Nolee pondered his words and was hesitant to agree to the compromise. A strange feeling running through her about them carrying on against the Italian mafia.  
  
"T'at asshole has run things for far too long now, his reign of terror is what needs ta end now."  
  
"Fine..." she whispered thinking it over unable to deny Murphy had ultimately been right about Yakavetta. "But after him Murphy...you're done for a while."  
  



	44. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're a natural criminal like us Nolee-cannoli."

The next morning had carried on usual except it had been more quiet than usual in the apartment. Mostly due to the three men still exhausted from yesterday's events and part of them afraid to agitate the small girl any further. Nolee had not been in the happiest of moods knowing what the three men would plan later on. As much as she would have preferred they stayed home she knew the stubborn Irishmen would do what they wanted to do regardless.  
  
Connor, Rocco, and Murphy had spent some time with Ruby after breakfast before their day would start yet again watching Terminator. It seemed as if the brothers were determined to make the infant an action movie buff just like themselves. Nolee had only shook her head approaching the couch after cleaning up the kitchen.  
  
"You three realize she has zero idea what's even happening on TV right?" Nolee questioned them with a faint smirk.  
  
"Nonsense, Ruby loves action movies just like her Da and uncle." Connor insisted. "She'll have great taste because of us." he bragged unapologetically.  
  
"Are you really sure about that?"  
  
"Don't listen ta ye Ma Rubes, she doesn't know what she's talkin' about." Murphy whispered into the infant's ear.  
  
"I heard that Murphy."  
  
"Whoops." Murphy whispered once again making the small girl crack a slight smile before sitting down to join them. Nolee had half watched the movie with the men as her mind had started to drift elsewhere. It was only when Murphy's hand had touched hers it snapped her out of her reverie, Nolee turned her head toward the dark haired Irishman.  
  
"Thank ye again for savin' us with Smecker." Murphy noted.  
  
"Seriously lass, ye covered our asses. We can't thank ye enough." Connor added in agreement.  
  
"You're a natural criminal like us Nolee-cannoli."  
  
"Not sure if that's a good thing Rocco." Nolee replied uneasily.  
  
"I'm just messing with you sweetheart, but it's true. You definitely got us out of another potential shit storm."  
  
"Hopefully this means Smecker can get ta feds off of us for a while." Murphy added optimistically.  
  
"Well as much as you all three of you piss me off...of course I'd cover for you. I have to admit I'm still a little surprised I was able to convince him." Nolee replied fumbling her hands.  
  
"Maybe Rocco has a point...maybe you are a natural and didn't realize it." Murphy teased squeezing her hand playfully, but it did little to comfort her. In fact, the notion had made her feel quite queasy.  
  
"Yeah...maybe." she whispered shifting her focus back to the television. The men had enjoyed several more minutes before Connor had looked down at the clock with a sigh. Having a tight schedule to keep Nolee watched all three men look each other briefly before standing up simultaneously.  
  
"We need ta get goin' lass. We'll see you tonight." Murphy explained softly. Nolee had frowned in response but gave a nod before standing up.  
  
"I want all three of you back here." she insisted giving each of them a bear hug ignoring the lump in her throat as she lingered around the Italian. The mafia had proved to be distrusting to him despite Rocco busting his ass proving his worth. Nolee bit her lip afraid of what this could mean for him now that he was deciding to against his own, however Rocco seemed completely confident in his decision.  
  
"Take care of each other...my three musketeers."  
________  
  
  
"That's all you can give me?" A slightly frustrated Agent Smecker questioned from the public payphone downtown. It had surprised him to hear from the brothers so soon, but nevertheless he had been ready to help where he could. He was pleased the brothers had complied with keeping him in the loop as requested, Miss Wade obviously having had informed them of their prior conversation.  
  
"Yeah well the light hit the side of his face. Looked like he had a gray beard. Maybe late 50's, early 60's." Connor explained notifying the agent about the older man that had ambushed them at the house.  
  
"So you're telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he's a freakin' senior citizen?" Agent Smecker asked in astonishment.  
  
"Yeah well it's better if we find this man before he finds us again." Connor reasoned uneasily.  
  
"I'll see what I can do." Agent Smecker offered in response. "How can I get in touch with you?"  
  
"We'll hit Pappa Joe tonight, right in the comfort of his own home. We'll be layin low afterwards...it's just...it's gettin' a bit hot for us here." Connor admitted while Agent Smecker exhaled a deep breath.  
  
"Be careful."  
  
"We'll call you tonight afterwards." Connor assured before hanging up the phone.  
  
"It feels like it's still there." Rocco laughed referring to his missing finger as Connor gave a slight smirk.  
  
"Yeah, but it's not."  
________  
  
  
"I don't know who he is. Nobody does." Augustus insisted while throwing small blue blocks in each of the urinals. "The Duke's a fuckin' Houdini, he does a disappearin' act."  
  
"What did he bring him in for?" Agent Smecker questioned wanting answers of what was about to potentially take place. It was obvious now to him Joe Yakavetta had brought in an unknown source to help with his biddings. The unknown source being the man that ambushed Connor, Rocco, and Murphy.  
  
"Well he needs an insider, this Rocco kid is smart. He knows everyone, he could spot out hitters from a mile away."  
  
"Just for him?" Agent Smecker challenged. "The package boy?"  
  
"He's the one shootin' up all his guys, right? He's scared of the kid." Augustus countered back. "Said he's good, real good. Joe's got every gun in the city up in there." he added.  
  
"Up where?" Agent Smecker inquired nervously.  
  
"At his house. I don't know what's goin' on, but I know it's gotta have somethin' to do with that kid."  
  
"Oh, fuck." Agent Smecker whispered as an unsettling feeling began in his stomach, his sense immediately going on as he quickly dashed out of the men's bathroom.  
  
Something very bad was about to happen, he could feel it.  
_________  
  
  
The plan of sneaking into Pappa Joe's house through the basement had not been successful. Connor, Rocco, and Murphy had underestimated the surveillance of the premises, Yakavetta's soldiers had quickly captured the three men bringing them into a small room, Yakavetta immediately being notified of the intruders.  
  
"Where you goin' huh? Where the fuck you goin?!" A soldier shouted as the three men were strapped to a chair simultaneously being beating on by the soldiers. A mix of their groans of pain had wafted through the air while struggling to break free as blood had painted their faces from the assaults.  
  
"Shut up!" Pappa Joe interrupted the commotion making the soldiers seized their movements.  
  
"You have some answers for me, no?" Pappa Joe questioned with a smirk to Rocco who continued to struggle against the soliders' tight grasp.  
  
"Fuck you." Rocco only whispered as the soldiers' grabbed each of his hands. Seeing what was about to occur Connor squirmed in his chair.  
  
"Roc! Roc, look at me!" he demanded when the soldiers aimed their gun at Rocco's hand before pulling a trigger causing a bullet to penetrate one of Rocco's other fingers. Rocco began to flail in his chair from the sudden pain erupting through him laced with the adrenaline already in his system making him more erratic while the soldiers walked out the room alongside Pappa Joe.  
  
"Roc stop it, you'll be fine!" Connor insisted attempting to make the Italian shut up before the soldiers had come back. Outside the door Pappa Joe had looked at his men curiously.  
  
"Okay. What do you boys think?"  
  
"These guys are tough." one soldier acknowledged.  
  
"Fuckin A-right." another soldier agreed. "Ain't no fuckin' way they're gonna talk."  
  
"I know Rocco, he ain't smart enough for this shit. Those other guys are the brains, he's just a player."  
  
"He's a punk." the soldiers had all agreed as Pappa Joe thought it over briefly before holding his hands up.  
  
"There's only one thing to do." he simply replied cocking the gun in his hand before he had turned on his heels to re-enter the room. As he walked forward gun in hand everything seemed to be in slow motion as Connor's eyes went wide.  
  
"God! No!" he screamed knowing what was about to happen. In the blink of an eye Pappa Joe had aimed his gun towards the Italian and pulled the trigger. A pained gasped had escaped Rocco's mouth feeling the bullet penetrate his chest before we could comprehend what had happened.  
  
"ROC! ROC! NO!" Connor cried out seeing the Italian fall over still attached tied to the chair. Murphy gasped as he trashed against his own chair until it collapsed to its side so he could crawl his way over to where Rocco laid despite being handcuffed.  
  
"Roc, no..." Murphy whimpered watching the Italian slowly start lose consciousness from being shot. Unable to help him from being bound Murphy could only beg his friend to hold on as Connor felt tears run down his face completely helpless.  
  
"Y-you can't stop...you get out of here...don't ever stop." Rocco gasped between dying breaths.  
  
"No!" Connor screamed watching his eyes slowly close. "You motherfucker!" he cried out in anguish while Rocco took his last breath, Murphy began to sob and thrash again in his chair once again.  
  
"I'm gonna fuckin' kill them!" he seethed madly desperately trying to break free from the chair but to no avail. Murphy could do nothing but cry into his neck of his deceased best friend. Just like that the most loyal person they had ever known was taken from them.  
  
  
 _*In Yakavetta's other room*_

"Hey boss."

"What Chappy?"

"I don't mean no disrespect but I think we're forgettin' something here. This Il Duce's a fuckin' animal. He's not gonna stop until someone dies. I guarantee you he thinks this thing is on." a solider noted making Pappa Joe curse in Italian exhibiting annoyance.

"If this guy still thinks the job is on, the motherfucker is in the bushes right now!" he replied. "I am going. You four stay here and deal with it."  a calm Pappa Joe had swiftly made an exit out of the house and into his vehicle with another word. Meanwhile a still bound Connor and Murphy had managed to rearrange themselves to where Connor sat behind his twin. Connor had managed to undo the cuffs that were attached to his feet.  
  
"Do it!" Murphy demanded to his brother knowing if Connor had dislocated his finger Murphy could escape his cuffs. "Do it!" he yelled one more time before Connor had no choice but to lift his leg up and kick as hard as he could at Murphy's hand while the dark haired male had cried out in pain but gritted his teeth to bare it. Connor had succeeded at dislocating the finger and painfully Murphy was able to free himself from his cuffs. But before Murphy could help Connor, they could hear footsteps begin at the end of the hallway increasingly getting louder the closer they approached. Dashing into a corner of the room both brothers had crouched down when the door opened.  
  
"What the fuck?" A soldier whispered in shock to find the chairs empty unaware of Murphy reaching into his pocket to pull out his knife. Before the solider could take another breath Murphy had lunged towards the man shoving the blade into the soldier's back while Connor kicked at the man's head.  
  
*Meanwhile...*  
  
An Agent Smecker dressed in drag knocked on the door of Yakavetta's house before taking a puff of his cigarette. It didn't take long before a soldier had answered the door, looking anxious.  
  
"Hey..." Agent Smecker cooed darmatically softening his voice to imitate a female. "Joey Brevo sent me here...as entertainment." he added sweetly.  
  
"Sorry babe, but tonight's bad. The shit's really hittin' the fan in there you know what I'm saying?" the solider objected.  
  
"Aww come on baby..." Agent Smecker insisted moving close to the solider an in attempt to seduce the clueless soldier to get into the house. The solider increasingly unable to resist the 'lady' and her charming ways, especially when the 'lady' had put 'her' lips on his.  
  
"All right...let's go." he whispered allowing Agent Smecker to enter the house.  
  
"Geno, what the fuck are you doing?" another soldier questioned when he noticed the overweight curly haired next to a woman.  
  
"I haven't been laid in a week! It'll take me 5 minutes." Geno insisted as the other solider huffed.  
  
"Fine, hurry up!" he replied before walking away. Geno had smiled in return before escorting Agent Smecker to a bathroom. Putting the charm all the way up to eleven, he laid on the tile floor smiling coyly at Geno suggestively.  
  
"Come to mama." Agent Smecker cooed as Geno excitedly approached closer beginning to undo his belt.  
  
"Oh you're a dirty girl..." Geno whispered in anticipation but his excitement had quickly died seeing the chestnut wig start to slip away from Agent Smecker's head.  
  
"What the fuck?!" he said out loud as Agent Smecker only shouted before his leg had extended upwards delivering several harsh kicks to Geno's crotch. As Geno fell to the ground in immense pain Agent Smecker had quickly reached for the gun in the purse he carried retrieving it. Before Geno could make another move the gun had been aimed at him and trigger pulled. Inspecting the body to make sure he was deceased a small moment of 'oops' had gone through Agent Smecker.  
  
"Too far." he whispered picking the wig off the floor and using the mirror of the bathroom as guide to adjust it back on his head. When he had straightened out the wig his light eyes had widened in sudden realization.  
  
"It's on now..."  
  
Carefully exiting the bathroom Agent Smecker looked around the empty hallway on alert.  
  
"Hey babe, two for one?" the solider from before had suddenly appeared his smirk disappearing at seeing the gun in front of him unable to react when Agent Smecker fired at him. Making sure the coast clear Agent Smecker had focused on the body sitting in the chair near him already deceased him. Confusion going through his body he hadn't noticed the dark figure approach from behind him until he felt a heavy object hit the the back of his head.  
  
*Back in the room*  
  
Connor and Murphy had put their deceased best friend back upright in the chair while Connor solemnly placed a penny on one eye, Murphy placed one on the other. Murphy had stroked the Italian's face lovingly before the both of them had lowered to their knees, ready to send their friend off to his maker. The both of them had been seemingly unaware of the figure looming by the door.  
  
"And shepherds we shall be, for Thee my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy ha-" their words interrupted by the sound of a gun clicking, both brothers had instantly drawn their own guns towards the culprit cocking their guns at the familiar older man in sunglasses standing before them.  
  
"That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. We will flow a river forth unto Thee..." the man had continued on gently while Connor and Murphy slowly raised their guns down. A mix of shock and disbelief going through as the man came closer to Rocco's body.  
  
"And teeming with souls it shall ever be. E nomini patri, et Fili e spiritus sancti." he had completed the family prayer. Connor and Murphy had only looked up at the man, a small smile had spread onto their both their faces when the man had cupped each of their faces...  
_________  
  
Nightfall had seemed to come quickly as Nolee anxiously waited for the boys return. The feeling of something not being quite right had began to flare but she ignored it, not wanting to stress out just yet. Her normal routine of nurturing Ruby and making dinner for the men had passed by unusually quickly. The dark haired infant was fast asleep in her arms as Nolee instinctively checked the news for any information regarding the brothers and the Italian. Nolee bit her lip nervously when there was no reports of suspicious activity involving the mafia either.  
  
Sighing impatiently Nolee had stood up to make her way into the bedroom and lay Ruby down in her crib. Giving the infant a gentle kiss on the forehead, the sensation inside her was increasing. Nolee furrowed her eyebrows as she walked out the room to where the phone was. Dialing in Rocco's number just in case, another disappointed sigh left her lips at hearing nothing but ringing on the other end. Just as Nolee had hung up the phone the sound of the door being unlocked made her head snap up in relief.  
  
"Oh thank god." she spoke aloud staying in her spot as Connor and Murphy soon emerged from the doorway. "There you are." she added with a smile but it had quickly faded when she noticed the various bruises on both the Irishmens' body as well as the blood stains on their blue jeans.  
  
"What happened?" she questioned fearfully noticing the blank stares on their faces. "W-where's Rocco?" she added also noticing the Italian had been absent. Connor and Murphy had visibly winced at the mentioning of his name putting the small girl on high alert. "Connor...Murphy...what's going on, tell me." she pleaded at the brothers who remained silent unable to speak.  
  
"Tell me goddamn it!" the small girl demanded once more.  
  
"Nolee..." Murphy had whispered so quietly she barely heard him. "Rocco is gone love...we lost him."  
  
"What...?" she gasped in shock. "No...that can't be true...you're lying." she responded in denial waiting for Murphy to say he was just joking, that Rocco had in fact gone back to his own place tonight. But as the Irishman remained painfully still, Nolee's body began to shake while turning her head to the other brother.  
  
"Connor? Tell me it isn't true, please tell me it's not true!" she begged in desperation while Connor's lip had only trembled.  
  
"I'm sorry Nolee..."  
  
"No! I don't believe you!" she screamed at the both of them feeling tears sting her eyes and a lump in her throat. Nolee had felt a strong urge to vomit unable to believe Rocco was really dead, her knees had felt weak and before they had buckled Murphy caught her. It was only then she could not stop her breakdown.  
  
"I'm sorry baby." Murphy whispered once more holding onto her tightly.  
  
"Rocco..." she sobbed praying that somehow it was all just a nightmare. But as both Connor and Murphy held onto her equally distraught she knew it hadn't been. Clutching their coats for dear life a million thoughts rushed through mind, Nolee could only cry into both their chests as all three adults had grieved together.  
  
A long period of silence had filled the air as the cruel reality loomed. The apartment already felt emptier without their beloved Italian and Nolee could not stop the hole in heart that formed. There was no coming to terms with the fact she would never see or hear from him again, this couldn't be real. Murphy had consoled the crying girl as best as he could while dealing with Connor's and his own grief. Connor had eventually fell asleep from the emotional and physical exhaustion on the other side of the couch while Murphy and Nolee remained awake, unable to sleep. Nolee's eyes had remained fixated on the beige carpet as Murphy's hand caressed her hair both of them not saying a word, the shock still coursing through them. After a long period of silence Murphy had been the first to make a move as he lowered his hand down to gently place it on top of hers.  
  
"Nolee...there's something else we need ta tell ye...we...we found our Da."  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put off this chapter for so long 


	45. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know love...but it's him. Connor and I have always wondered about him and because of strange fuckin' circumstances...now he's here."

*Three months later*  
  
 _'Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.'_  
  
Life had started to feel like it was slowing down for the three adults yet the rest of the world had carried on so easily. A dark gloomy cloud seemed to linger around as they tried to adjust to a life without their beloved Italian. The mornings had been less satisfying without the usual chatter and insults. It was a hard pill to swallow to think that Rocco would never walk into their apartment late as usual for events, no silly Rocco mishaps, no Rocco to smile and call Nolee by her nickname she'd never thought she'd end up missing so much.  
  
 _'My Nolee-cannoli.'_  
  
A sour sensation had seem to permanently nestle into Nolee's body. Grief was such a strange thing to go through. Nolee had never really mourned the loss of someone important in her life besides her mother when she was younger. Nolee had not become attached to anyone else besides the people sitting next to her. Losing Rocco had cut her deeply just as much as it did the brothers. Rocco had become an integral part of life in such a short period of time, life didn't seem right without him now.  
  
 _"Can I just have a water?"_  
 __  
 _"Sure ye can. Fuck! Ass!" he suddenly yelled as she stared him completely speechless._  
 __  
 _"He's not talkin' to you personally sweetheart. That's Doc, he's got Tourettes." the man sitting next to her explained amused at her shocked reaction. She turned her head to a large man with shaggy dark hair and a full grown beard._  
 __  
 _"Oh." she was all could say._  
 __  
 _"Hey, are you Betty Boop? I love Betty Boop! Very classy lady." the shaggy haired man exclaimed with a smile. Nolee involuntarily laughed, there was nothing alarming about him that registered with her. He seemed pretty innocent enough._  
 __  
 _"I am, yes."_  
 __  
 _"Now that is impressive. Much cooler than all the girls dressed as cats I keep seeing." he replied rolling his eyes dramatically._  
 __  
 _"Well thank you, I appreciate that." Nolee giggled._  
 __  
 _"I'm Rocco by the way, nice to meet you."_  
 __  
 _"I'm Nolee." she responded kindly before the bells went off in her mind. "Rocco!" she repeated at the familiarity and smiled at the coincidence. "I've heard about you."_  


  


Tears had pricked the corner of her eyes when she would drift back to the night on Halloween when she first met the shaggy haired Italian. How easily he had been kind to her and how easily she'd been drawn to his personality. Rocco may have been a goof that wasn't always the brightest, but he was by far the most loyal person you could ever hope to have by your side in life. It hurt her deeply to know Ruby would be left without one uncle and wouldn't get to enjoy to him like Nolee got to in so little time. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, there was so much more to do.  
  
Connor and Murphy had tried their hardest to carry on without their friend and act normal, but Nolee could easily see the pain killing them inside. Their smiles were less frequent and both of their eyes had dulled. That seemed to be the hardest challenge was helping someone else deal with a loss while struggling to cope on your own. Each of the adults had loved Rocco in their own individual ways, and they mourned in their own individual ways. Connor would of course distract himself with his western movies when he wasn't investing time into Kira. On the other hand Nolee would often find Murphy in his own world listening to music. She could also see a part of them had blamed themselves, despite Rocco joining them on his own accord. Even if the adults had known the risks of what could happen in the midst of their conquest, it still didn't comfort them in the slightest of the loss actually occurring.  
  
All the three adults could do now was rely on each other to help them all get through, and in a way it had only strengthened Nolee's bond with the twin brothers. They knew they had no choice but to remain strong not only for each other, but for Ruby. All that was left was memories and each moment from that point on had been cherished completely. For like always life would continue whether they liked it or not. Time would eventually come to move on but no matter what, Rocco will always be a part of them. And as much as it was painful, they'd continue to live life _for_ Rocco.  
  
But it was also ironic that with grief, there had always seemed to be an underlying meaning. The pain somehow bringing you to a new phase when you might've not realized it. It seemed like a Twilight Zone episode when Nolee inevitably found herself face to face with the older gray haired man sitting at their kitchen table.  
  
 _"Nolee...there's something else we need ta tell ye...we...we found our Da."_

"W-what?" Nolee whispered questioning whether she had heard the Irishman correctly. "What do you mean you found your father?"

"Our Da was apparently an expert hitman and somehow he had ties with ta Yakavetta family. He's been in Hoag prison for the past 25 years this entire time. When we began our hits, Yakavetta had become panicked and brought in backup. He managed to get our Da paroled so he could handle us."

"So...he's the one who ambushed you? He was trying to kill you?" Nolee whispered angrily.

"Ta be technical...yes. But he hadn't known it was Connor and I until Rocco had been shot. When...we were doing ta family prayer, he had come in. We knew it was our Da...because he finished said prayer. Only ta men in our family know of that prayer, it was no coincidence."

"H-how can this even be?" she replied in astonishment not able to process anymore events as her heart still ached.

"I don't know love...but it's him. Connor and I have always wondered about him and because of strange fuckin' circumstances...now he's here."  
  
Nolee felt indifferent staring at the older bearded man, not sure what to think. There was a slight resemblance between the brothers and him making the biological connection not too unbelievable, only difference was Connor and Murphy had taken on their mother's eyes instead of the man's dark browns. After Connor and Murphy had taken time to deal with the loss of Rocco, they had now had been brought to something much deeper.  
  
"Nolee...this is our Da, Noah." Murphy introduced softly as the older man had made eye contact with the small girl and very faintly smiled. Nolee remained still, unable to will herself from the spot she stood in. It appeared that the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree when it came to wanting vengeance and taking such vengeance into their own hands.  
  
"Ahh, ye ta one me son talks about all ta time. It's a pleasure ta finally meet ye lass, ye more beautiful than Murphy described." Noah greeted kindly but it did little to make Nolee feel comfortable. She didn't know what to make of the older man being a hitman who had almost taken away the two people she loved most, even if he wasn't aware it had been his own sons he shot at. Nolee couldn't be sure if she could trust the man given his line of work. But yet Connor and Murphy hadn't shared the same feelings, perhaps it was the simple fact that they'd been missing their father all this time. In some freakish parallel universe Noah had been right under their nose the entire time. Maybe it was the fact that losing Rocco had made the brothers realize there had been no more time to waste. All their resentment and anger towards their father's disappearance was a misunderstanding. There was so much more to the story than they thought possible and the brothers had not been too proud to forgive and forget. Because if Rocco's death had taught them anything, it was that life was indeed short.  
  
"Hello, it's nice to meet you too, and thank you." Nolee greeted back politely. She may have had her own personal feelings towards the reunion, but ultimately she knew it was not her place to object, it was Connor and Murphy's decision solely.  
  
"I hear I have a beautiful granddaughter as well, where is ta wee little one?" Noah inquired excitedly at Connor and Murphy. Murphy had glanced briefly to Nolee as if asking permission, his eyes filled with a plea. Despite her indifference Nolee nodded and faintly smiled at Murphy granting him the okay to retrieve Ruby. Murphy had only smiled back gratefully before picking up a sleeping Ruby from her bouncer. Slowly Murphy had placed her into Noah's arms where the older man had observed the small infant adoringly. A genuine smile spread across his face as his hand lightly brushed Ruby's.  
  
"It almost feels like holding ta both of ye for ta first time all over again. How I wish I could change a lot of things." Noah lamented glancing up at his grown sons with regret. "I'm so very sorry me boys. But by ta looks of it, it seems ye both have done well for yourselves. How amazin' this little one is." Noah sighed with content turning his attention back to Ruby. The indifference Nolee felt had then faltered as she studied Noah's face. The regret he had felt for missing out on his sons' life by being in prison had made her sympathetic understanding what it was like to put herself in his shoes as a parent.  
  
"Thank you love." Murphy whispered into ear gratefully as he squeezed her hand noticing the change in her. "Thank ye for givin' him a chance." he added making the small girl look into the Irishman's face briefly before squeezing his hand back. There was a lot of catching up to be done and no more time to waste.  
  
It amazed her that once more despite bad circumstances, life had come full circle again.  
_____  
  
Connor and Murphy had enjoyed each moment they got to be reacquainted with Noah. There were a lot of similarities Noah had passed on to his sons personality wise that was for sure. Nolee had watched from behind the scenes with a faint smile happy to see her boys happy again. The dark gloomy cloud was slowly starting to fade away.  
  
Connor and Murphy had seized their quest for justice after the night at Pappa Joe's. The decision of whether they should carry on weighed heavy in their minds. With Rocco gone now, the boys had reconsidered continuing on. It was better for them to lay low until the mafia had simmered down anyways. Even though Nolee had selfishly been happy to have the boys back home she knew eventually at some point they'd be going back out into the world again. For now she had focused on enjoying her time with the brothers, Kira, and Ruby finally getting to have a grandparent. For the most part Noah had fit right into the family and Nolee had to admit the older man hadn't been so bad having around. The vigilantism would just have to wait.  
  
"Ma won't give us a straight answer, so tell us Da who came out first?" Connor demanded to Noah who sat on the couch holding Ruby.  
  
"Shut ta little bastard up and tell him it was me Da!" Murphy insisted causing a sibling bickering match to ensue as their father looked on amused.  
  
"Ye both unfortunately got ye Ma's temper that's for sure."  
  
The sibling argument had continued on with no resolution as to who actually came out first for Noah hadn't been able to arrive at the hospital until after the boys were born, disappointing the brothers. Perhaps it would always remain a mystery of who was born first. As Noah and his sons joked around Nolee had laughed to herself flipping through the television channels. An ache in her stomach formed when she saw a familiar face on the news.  
  
 _"Infamous mafia Pappa Joe Yakavetta is expected to strand trial tomorrow for the third time in two years. Yakavetta is expected to take the stand to defend himself against the allegations against of his involvement in ordering the killings of no less than 17 men. The third case against him is relying heavily on circumstantial evidence and a third acquittal has already been predicted."_ Anger had slowly flowed into the small girl's veins upon hearing the words of the reporter. Something had triggered a response in her she had not felt before staring at the image of Pappa Joe. The disgusting criminal was expected to get off scot free yet again.  
  
Nolee could feel the unfamiliar urge spread throughout her body and it was only then she had truly begun to view the world through the brother's eyes. The craving, the lust for truth, and in that moment she could only bring herself to think about one person. Nolee shifted her attention to the brothers seeing them share the same anger. Murphy had switched gaze to Nolee noticing her expression and as their eyes locked, there had been absolutely no hesitation from her.  
  
"I want revenge...for Rocco."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  



	46. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love makes ye do crazy things sometimes."

*Several months later*  
  
A calming breeze had wafted through the air making Nolee's hair dance along her shoulders. A feeling of content had spread through her body as her brown eyes stared out at the vast green land before her. The tall lush grass pressing against her bare feet was unfamiliar, but welcomed. The sun setting just below the horizon had been nothing less than a breathtaking view.  
  
The sound of birds chirping could faintly be heard in the distance, but up closer the sound of an overly excited Annabelle MacManus cooing had filled the small girl's ears. An exasperated Connor had only leaned against a post taking a sip of his beer, annoyance quickly filling his face as he looked on.  
  
"Look at t'at crazy old woman, actin' like she's never seen a damn baby before." he scoffed as the elder red headed woman happily bounced a smiling Ruby in her arms, speaking to the infant in half english, half gaelic.  
  
"I don't even think Ma was ever t'at nice ta us like t'at." Murphy added insulted while he also looked on at their mother being so unusually affectionate.  
  
"A grandma's love is a whole other type of love, so I've been told." Nolee chimed in with a slight smirk watching the brothers roll their eyes at the unfairness.  
  
"Yeah, well that's bullshit t'en." Connor retorted taking another sip of his beer as the small girl only giggled turning her head back to the sunset. Ireland was obviously a huge contrast to Boston, but the more time Nolee spent gazing at all the luscious open land and farm animals, the beauty had almost made for up the homesickness she felt.  
  
Connor, Murphy, and Noah had ended up infiltrating Pappa Joe's trial. Nolee could still recall the morning the events that had unfolded before her eyes. However this time as she watched the three men grab their black bags and head out the door, there had been no nervousness or worry. As the door closed behind them Nolee had sipped her coffee calmly, the tiniest smile upon her face.  
__

*Morning of Yakavetta's Trial*

A calm and collected Agent Smecker had carefully walked down the hallway of the courthouse approaching the side entrance. Outside the building Detective Greenly dressed in uniform waited patiently next to the police van. When his eyes discovered Smecker by the door Detective Greenly had swiftly knocked on the van signaling it was time. Shortly Agent Smecker had discretely opened the entrance door as Noah, Connor, and Murphy had walked in. Skillfully throwing their black bags over the metal detector, Agent Smecker had ascended up the flight of stairs while the three men made their way further into the courthouse straight ahead.

In the courtroom an anxious crowd watched a charming Yakavetta take the stand and begin to explain his defense. Half of the room were infatuated with the charisma the Italian displayed as others looked on in disgust. The Italian's family had cheered him on with full support while the victims' families had shot him looks of hatred.   
__  
_"He's the next John Gotti...even with all this evidence, he's going to walk." a reporter had commented to another in fascination. The crowd had been so involved with Pappa Joe, the sound of the courtroom door being slammed open had taken them all by surprise. The sounds of gasps and shouts had filled the air watching the three men bombard their way into the courtroom._  
  
_"Everyone to ta back!" the three men had demanded grabbing the unsuspecting citizens near them and pushing them away from the podium._  
  
_"Shut ta fucking camera!" Noah had ordered aiming his gun in warning._  
  
_"Up top, drop your guns, now!" Connor ordered the two officers that were standing on the platforms above the courtroom. The judge had protested as he was grabbed by Noah who only pushed to him the side before Connor and Murphy forced a Pappa Joe onto his knees in front of the scared crowd; both of their guns quickly positioned at the back of his head._  
  
_"You people have been chosen to reveal our existence to the world. You will witness what happens here today and you will tell of it later. All eyes to the front." Noah had instructed to the crowd as their terrified eyes had no choice but to look at the scene in front of them. Pappa Joe had made a sound of protest but was quickly shot down by Connor's foot delivering a swift kick to the Italian's back sending him forward, Murphy quickly recoiling the Italian back onto his knees._  
  
_Outside the courtroom a Detective Dolly had swiftly pulled the fire alarm before casually exiting the courthouse unnoticed. Connor and Murphy had jumped onto the tables waving their gun at the crowd demanding their full attention while Noah had kept his gun steady at Pappa Joe's head._  
  
_"Now ye will receive us!" Connor spoke addressing the crowd._  
  
_"We do not ask for ye poor, or ye hungry." Murphy added._  
  
_"We do not want ye tired and sick."_  
  
_"It is ye corrupt we claim."_  
  
_"It is your evil that will be sought by us!"_  
  
_"With every breath, we shall hunt them down."_  
  
_"Each day we spill their blood until it rains down from the skies."_  
  
_"Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace."_  
  
_"These are not polite suggestions! These are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost!"_  
  
_"There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain."_  
  
_"For if you do, one day you will look behind you and see us three, and on that day you will reap it!"_  
  
_"And we will send you to whatever god you wish." Murphy had finished before him and Connor had joined their father as all three guns had positioned at the back of Pappa Joe's head, the Italian begging for help._  
  
_"And shepherds we shall be, for Thee my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth thy hand. Our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls it shall ever be. In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et spiritus sancti."_  
  
The people in the courtroom had then been bare witness to Pappa Joe's execution. The courtroom killing had sent hysteria through Boston and ultimately it had started the largest manhunt known to date inside of the city. The police had heavily sought out Connor, Noah, and Murphy, wanting them for the crime committed. Citizens of Boston had been in uproar in whether or not the vigilantism was justified. The media had continued to dub Connor, Noah, and Murphy as The Saints.  
  
 A final warning had been put out to the city that the evil residing within would no longer be tolerated. Nolee had remembered listening to the news as the crowd of people had poured out from the courtroom, their terror and shock had not affected her in the slightest. There was simply only relief to know Joe Yakavetta was officially no longer amongst the world anymore, giving her the unapologetic sense of peace. Vengeance had been made for Rocco, and that was all that mattered to her in that moment.  
  
Connor, Murphy, and Noah had kept undercover after the courtroom vigilantism and even with Smecker's help, things had ultimately become too difficult to remain in Boston. The only solution the men knew they had in order to keep the attention off of them, was to flee the city. It had been the hardest choice for Nolee to make having to leave the place she had first sought refuge in. Nolee could still recall how painful it had been to say goodbye to Kira, but promises of returning to Boston had been made.  
  
Kira had thankfully understood having been aware that right now it simply wasn't safe for the brothers. Unfortunately Kira and Connor had not stayed together over the course of coming to Ireland, long distance just hadn't seem to work in their favor. The two had promised to remain friends at least, often keeping in touch, for the tall brunette had still given them her support.  
  
Arriving in Ireland had been a scary change at first, Nolee had not known what to expect when she took those steps onto the boat that would carry them away. There had been much fear realizing she would finally be meeting the brothers' mother for the first time. Worrying the woman that birthed the best things in her life would somehow reject her.  
__  
'Don't worry lass, she's gonna love ye.' Murphy had assured the small girl who only stared out into the ocean with doubt. But the moment Nolee had stepped inside the small stoned house and to her surprise, the short redheaded woman had greeted her with open arms. Annabelle MacManus was indeed the true definition of an Irish woman. Her bold personality had been somewhat startling to Nolee at first but just like her sons, her power of charm had quickly won Nolee over.  
  
 The bittersweet reunion of Annabelle and Noah was also a sight to behold. Nolee had watched the red headed woman's eyes fill with shock at seeing her husband again, Nolee had been amazed that each of them still embraced each other with the love they felt 25 years ago as if nothing had changed at all. Proof that distance and time did not matter when you truly loved someone.  
  
If someone had told Nolee her life would end up like this years ago, Nolee would've ask that person to check themselves into an asylum. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine herself walking through the green marshes of Northern Ireland. At least settling into the new land hadn't been so difficult. The days had seemed more peaceful as she adjusted to her quiet new life. The crisp clean air was surely different from the busy loud Boston streets. Annabelle had been more than thrilled to have two other females in the house for once, it made Nolee's heart full to see the woman take Ruby on as her own grandchild so effortlessly, not one part of her had to seem to care she was not biologically Murphy's. Surely Murphy had gotten his kind heartedness from their mother as well.  
  
"Dada!" Ruby had cried out happily to Murphy while clapping her hands when she spotted him, it was hard to believe how much the infant had grown already. Ruby Hope had of course continued to favor the Irishman smiling wide as he picked her up, unable to contain his happiness when he heard her say that word.  
  
"Me little princess, come here." Murphy smiled embracing her in his arms. "How about I show ye where Da and uncle Connor use ta play as young lads?" he questioned to the infant before walking the two of them further down the marsh by where the small creek had run through. As Murphy pointed out several things, Ruby's big brown eyes looked on in fascination. It never ceased to amaze Nolee the special bond Murphy and Ruby had always seemed to share.  
  
"And right there be ta spot Uncle Connor like ta try and drown me because he's an ass-umm... **donkey**." Murphy corrected himself to the infant as Nolee had only laughed to herself, unaware of Annabelle standing next to her.  
  
"Ye know I never t'ot I'd see ta day me Murphy would be so happy." she told the brunette softly. "Was almost startin' ta lose hope ta little shit would never make me a grandma." she added in sincerity making the small girl giggle. "It sure does feel good ta have me boys home again tho. Even makes me feel better ta see Murphy come home a different man."  
  
"What do you mean?" Nolee questioned Annabelle gently.  
  
"Murphy's a dreamer like his damn Da, always chasin' ta stars. Never could get ta little bastard ta stay still very long. Was always afraid Murphy would never be satisfied, as ye can see ta apple don't fall from ta tree no?" Annabelle joked. Of course she had been fully aware of what her sons had become involved with. "I shoulda known me boys would take after Noah with wantin' ta change ta world eventually. I admit I kept a lot of things from Connor and Murphy about their Da purposely...but ye know as a mother ye just want different for ye kids." she reasoned with a sigh. Nolee had gave a nod in agreement unable to deny that fact from one mother to another.  
  
"Murphy told me a lot about ye over ta phone. Never seen him so hung up on a lass before, t'ot it was pretty amusin' how frightened he was ta tell me ye were already knocked up by someone else." Annabelle teased causing the girl's face to flush with embarrassment. "Oh, I'm just kiddin' lass it don't make no difference ta me." Annabelle added with a shrug.  
  
"Sounds like ye were dealt a bad card for a while, but pulled through. Murphy needs a tough lass ta keep his arse in line anyways."  
  
"I'm trying my best to...but unfortunately we're both two stubborn people." Nolee teased back.  
  
"Mm, sorry lass Murphy gets ta stubbornness part from me. It's ta Irish blood." Annabelle responded winking at Nolee. "I'm just glad Murphy has finally found his happiness...ta way he looks at ye...is exactly how his Da looked at me when we met."  
  
"Did you know right away you loved Noah?" Nolee questioned to the older woman curiously.  
  
"I did." Annabelle admitted nodding her head slowly. "As crazy as it might seem givin' his history, I didn't care. I knew who he was deep down, I knew his heart. Even when he got sent away...I knew he'd be back one day. Love makes ye do crazy things sometimes."  
  
"You can say that again." Nolee mumbled under her breath feeling the woman's words resonate strongly with her about the woman's son ironically.  
  
"When ye are willin' ta do whatever it takes for someone else and don't give it a second t'ot...that's when ye know ye truly love them." Annabelle added giving the small woman a smile. "I like ye lass, I can tell ye are good for me boy. I don't think ye would be here right now if ye didn't love Murphy." Annabelle reasoned to Nolee whose brown eyes had shifted back to the Irishman and Ruby laughing together by the river, inhaling a deep breath.  
  
"Your son is the best thing that's ever happened to me Mrs. MacManus."  
____  
  
  
The little house had been quiet when most of the adults had fallen asleep, including Ruby. The crackling of firewood was heard from behind her as Nolee had once again stepped out to the marsh staring up at the many many twinkling stars in adoration. The city lights of Boston had never really gave her the chance to enjoy the night sky in its entirety like she used to do. For a brief second it almost felt like Nolee was back in Phoenix staring up at the desert sky. How freeing it had felt to look up at a dark open space.  
  
"Ireland's even more beautiful than I imagined." she whispered keeping her gaze upwards.  
  
"I knew ye would like it." Murphy smiled wrapping his arms around her from behind. "Do ye have any regrets decidin' ta be with me?" he questioned curiously. Instantaneously his words had seem to cause a mental video to replay every single moment in her mind from start to finish. To think in the beginning Nolee had been a scared girl just wanting to escape the pain of her old life. To meeting a strange Irishman that somehow when standing next to him, she felt she could take on the world.  
  
"None." she answered quietly after a while. "Do you?"  
  
"Walkin' in t'at coffee shop was ta best damn decision I've ever made." Murphy answered simply making her smile at the thought. It was bittersweet leaving Cosmo's behind, for it truly had been the start of it all. A part of her had missed Boston terribly as well Alice, but Nolee knew it hadn't been a forever goodbye, just a see you later. There was no definite answer as to when they would exactly be able to go back, not until the dust had settled. After all, she could never bring herself to say goodbye permanently to the place that saved her life. But for now, Ireland would be the new place they had called home.  
  
Nolee had supposed someone could question to her was all this truly worth it. All the bumps in the road Nolee and Murphy had endured in the start of their relationship: Tristan, the vigilantism, was it really worth it? Maybe it was crazy of her to answer yes to the question, yes it was really worth it. Having someone like Murphy was worth it. Because Annabelle had been right, love does make you do crazy things. Murphy had remained at her side in her darkest moments, Nolee would remain at his side for his. For they had both known each other's heart.  
  
"Ta day after Halloween when I went ta confessional after mass ta figure out what do with ye...ta priest had made me believe t'at maybe you were put into me life because ye needed someone, maybe ye needed me." Murphy confessed as he turned her around so their foreheads had pressed against one another. "But he was wrong...I'm ta one who needed ye more."  
  
Nolee had felt her heart momentarily stop before she pressed her lips against his with no hesitation. Feeling his lips on hers would never stop feeling right. Knowing there wasn't a lot in the world she wouldn't do for the Irishman would never stop feeling right. She didn't care if people thought they were crazy for doing what they did and crazy to still hang on.  
  
This type of happiness had only seemed to exist in her childhood fairytales, except this prince came in the form of a catholic tattooed Irishman. In a twisted way, she felt like she had still gotten that happy ending somewhat, even if they were essentially living in hiding. Maybe their life wasn't exactly what you would define as ideal, but that was okay with Nolee. Because if she had learned anything at all from the entire situation...it was that life could not be lived without taking risks.  
  
And looking into Murphy's eyes there was no question that for him...she'd absolutely risk it all.  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end. I'm a little sad to finish this I've gotten a bit attached to my characters lol. A big thank you to those who read, subscribed, commented and gave kudos. Special shoutout to west_collins_is_my_spirit_animal for your consistent comments, I appreciated them so much :) I really didn't expect to get much feedback on this to be honest so I'm very grateful for those who took time to read my little baby :) the ending is what inspired me to write RIA so I never planned on it being a huge story, I felt this was where I wanted it to end. None the less I'm happy to have it complete, thank you again for reading! 
> 
> Hope to see you in my future BDS works :)


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